You're There for Me--Part 1 of 3
by VeraRose19
Summary: The time has come for Red to be released from Litchfield, but it is with a heavy heart that she walks away from the place that she came to regard as home after a lengthy incarceration, and which still houses two of the people she loves most in the world. [Complete]
1. Chapter 1

Nicky Nichols couldn't sleep. She'd been lying in her bed since the lights went out three hours ago, but she hadn't slept a wink. She'd been trying, and failing, to convince herself that this was just an ordinary night. She wrapped her blanket tightly around her and shivered. The dorms may have been cool, but the chill that ran through Nicky's bones was the sort that only comes from the realization that your life is about to be turned upside down, leaving it emptier and sadder than before. Red would be leaving her tomorrow. The day had finally arrived, and Nicky knew that nothing would ever be the same again.

"Nicky, are you cold?" Red's accent, thicker than usual, cut through the silence of the night. Nicky sat up and stared at her mother, who was not in bed, but sitting straight up in a chair, her elbow rested on the safe, and her head in her hand. She looked like she was waiting for somebody, and of course she was; tomorrow was the day she had been waiting, for fifteen long years, to arrive.

"I didn't see you there," Nicky whispered, so that she wouldn't wake their two sleeping roommates. In the dim lighting Nicky could see that Red had never intended to sleep that night. Her hair was combed, and her lipstick and eyeliner had already been applied. She had hours to wait before morning, and quite possibly they would be the longest hours of her entire sentence. Freedom was so close that Red could almost taste it. Yet her nightly vigil was bittersweet, as she sat and watched her daughter rest. Their life together, as they had known it, was forever changed.

Red slowly stood up and walked towards her bed. She picked up her crocheted blanket and pillow. "Here, honey," Red whispered, draping the blanket across Nicky's lap with shaking hands, "It's yours now." She put the small colourful pillow atop Nicky's thin prison issued one. "Every night when you crawl into bed under this it will be like I'm hugging you goodnight." She laid her hands in Nicky's lap and smiled up at her daughter encouragingly. She was trying to sound confident enough to reassure both of them, but Nicky could not ignore the breathlessness in her mother's voice, or the way Red's chest was rising and falling is rapid succession, as though her heart wanted to burst forth. Up close, Nicky could see the smudges around the rims of Red's eyes, where she must have rubbed at them and smeared her makeup. From a distance, she had looked calm and composed, but up close, Nicky could see the truth.

"Are you scared?" Nicky looked her mother directly in the eye. She reached out for her mother's hands. They felt clammy and shaky in Nicky's grasp.

"A little," Red admitted, "are you?"

"Yes," Nicky whispered, and Red squeezed her hands tightly.

"We've talked about this day so much, but nothing could really prepare us for what it would be like now that it is finally here," Red exhaled heavily and swallowed. "We're going to get through it, though," she said, attempting to sound upbeat and positive. "Eleven months, not even a year to go. I'll visit every weekend, and we can talk on the phone every night."

"I know," said Nicky, "we've already been through this a million times in this past week alone." She draped her legs over the edge of the bunk.

"I know," Red replied, resting her chin on Nicky's knee as she stood before the bunk bed. "That's just me thinking aloud, trying to convince myself that everything will be fine."

"It will be," Nicky said, trying to sound confident for her mother's sake. "It's going to be hard, but we'll survive, we don't really have a choice." She stuck her fingers through the holes in the crocheted pattern and balled the blanket up so she could hug it, squeezing it to her front tightly. "What else are you leaving me?" she asked teasingly.

"Everything," said Red simply, "I don't need any of it out there." She lifted her head off of Nicky's lap and walked over to the opened safe and kneeled down on the floor in front of it. She looked so lost and forlorn, down on the floor, and gazing into a small safe that held the remnants of the last fifteen years of her life.

Fifteen years of life locked away and wasted. Well, not entirely. She had found her daughter, she had found true love, she had formed friendships, and she had survived. Maybe a bit too well. She was so accustomed to her life in here that she almost didn't want to leave. In here, she was strong and needed; out there she would be small, and lost, and dependent on her sons to support her. Red hated to be a burden.

Nicky slid off her bunk and joined Red on the floor, "Hey, it's going to be fine," Nicky said, placing an encouraging hand on her shoulder, and pulling her mother against her. Red fell against her almost limply, not even attempting to disguise her need and gratitude for Nicky's embrace.

"How do you know?" Red stammered, her accent so thick it was almost incomprehensible to Nicky.

"How do I know?" Nicky clarified, "I know because I know you," she rubbed her mother's back in a light, circular rhythm. She didn't want her touch to be too imposing, less Red shirk away out of foolish pride. She could be funny that way. "You're the strongest person I know. The boys are going to be here in the morning, and they'll take you home and get you settled." At the mention of Yuri, Maxim, and Vasily, Nicky noticed her mother's entire body stiffen against her.

"That's the worst part of all of this," Red shuddered and her eyes widened as she strained to hold back the tears threatening to fall. "I don't want to be a burden on them. They have their own families and lives and they don't need me in the way." She sniffled, her shoulders slumped in defeat. It didn't really matter what she wanted; she had nowhere else to go. As much as it bothered her, Red knew she was dependent on them.

Nicky gripped Red by the shoulders and squeezed her muscles, attempting to draw out the tension. Her mother's neck and shoulder muscles felt like rocks. "Uh, are we talking about the same sons who drive up here every single weekend to visit you? And who have been literally fighting for over a year over whose house you were going to live in? They're pretty damn excited! And why shouldn't they be? You're the best mom in the entire world and they've missed you. So, don't f**k this up for them by acting like you wish you weren't there, you'll hurt their feelings." Red arched her back as Nicky continued to massage her tense muscles. Nicky knew her words would never convince her stubborn mother to rethink her attitude, but at least she was beginning to relax.

"You really sure you don't want to pack anything to take with you?" Nicky asked, peering around Red into the contents of her locker. "What about these?" Nicky pulled out a stack of approximately two dozen pictures of Red's sons, grandchildren, and even some of Red's late ex-husband Dmitri and of Red herself; looking younger and more vibrant than Nicky had ever known her.

"I though you might like to keep them," said Red gently, "so you can remember all the family waiting for you, if you ever get lonely."

Nicky thumbed through them with a small smile playing on her lips. The faces looking up at her were all people Red had given to her. She had met some, but not all of them, and it didn't matter anyway. They were still her people. "This one is still my favourite," she held a frayed photograph out for Red to take. Nicky's big brown eyes scrutinizing her mother's gentle blue for a response.

Red took the photograph into her hands, and put on her violet reading glasses that were hung around her neck by a string. "Oh," Red breathed, and her eyes softened as she gazed upon the photo that was heavily creased from the many times she had fallen asleep clutching it over the years. It was one Red had caught Nicky staring at years before that showed Yuri, Maxim, and Vasily, as children, standing with their arms around each other with gleeful smiles that revealed they were having the time of their lives. Red had told Nicky before that it had been taken on one of their many trips to Coney Island. She had always been taking her boys on fun outings.

"Why do you like this one best?" Red rested her head on Nicky's shoulder and held the photograph out for them both to gaze upon, "I'm not even in this one," she smiled coyly.

"You took the picture," Nicky replied, turning her head to smile at Red who was nestled against her. Nicky ran her fingers through her mother's flaming hair and kissed her forehead. Keeping her hand entangled in the scarlet hair she continued, "I look at this picture and imagine what was happening while it was being taken. I see you in total mom mode, yelling at them to stop fooling around and smile for the camera. They look like they are having so much fun. I wish I could have been your kid then too. I only went on outings like that with my nanny, and nobody ever took my picture because they wanted to remember the moment forever."

"But now somebody does," Red told her, angling her head up to kiss her daughter's cheek. "Eleven months, Nicky. We get through that time and we have the rest of our lives to do everything you always wanted. I want those moments with you too, and I won't be satisfied until I get them."

"Do you want to try and get some sleep, Ma?" Nicky asked her.

"I don't think I could possibly fall asleep right now," Red replied, dropping her head back on to her daughter's shoulder, as she stifled a yawn. Sleep would come if permitted, but Red resisted. As unfathomable as it was, this prison had become her home. She wanted to take it all in and experience her last few hours here. It was the only life that was still familiar to her.

"Well will you at least come lay down with me?" Nicky pleaded, tilting her head so it made contact with her mother's. "I couldn't sleep either, but maybe if you hold me I will be able to get some sleep."

"Yes, of course I will," Red kissed Nicky's shoulder before lifting her head. "Oh," she groaned, "whose idea was it to sit on the floor?" she huffed, as she allowed Nicky to lend her a hand.

Nicky giggled, once she had helped pull her mother to her feet. "I believe that was yours, mom! I only followed you."

"Well don't ever let me do that again," Red told her, placing both her hands on her lower back, and pressing tightly to help relieve some of the soreness.

"Come here," Nicky placed her hand on Red's elbow and guided her towards the bed. "Let's just lie down." Red complied with Nicky's wishes. Laying down on her side, while Nicky curved against her back.

"I wonder who they'll assign to this bed, when I'm gone" Red said more to herself that to Nicky.

"I didn't even think about that," Nicky bit her lip, and wrapped her arms around her mother more tightly. She wanted to cry and beg her not to leave, but Nicky knew that now, more than ever, Red needed her to be strong. "Maybe they'll assign me a hot young roommate that I can hook up with," she jested lightly.

"In your mother's old bed? How naughty," Red replied, reaching for Nicky's hands and holding them against her clamouring heart, as if the pressure of Nicky's hands could calm the arrhythmia.

"But are you surprised?" asked Nicky with a smirk, bringing her leg up and over her mother's so they were touching from head to toe.

"Not surprised at all," Red mumbled sleepily, it was harder to feign wakefulness when she was lying down and so cozy.

"Sleep," Nicky pleaded. She untangled one of her hands from Red's clutch and stroked it down the curve of her side, from shoulder to hip. "Tomorrow will go better if you sleep now." Red mumbled something unintelligible to Nicky's strained ear, and closed her eyes, as Nicky continued to run her hand gently down her body. Nicky's other hand, Red still clutched tightly to her chest.

"Hey, you," Red opened her bleary eyes and saw Gloria's almost shaped brown eyes looking back at her. Gloria ran her thumb over Red's cheek, and kissed her softly on the lips, while she sat crouched down on the floor in front of the bed "I got here as soon as I could."

"What time is it?" Red's voice croaked. She sat up and looked over at Nicky, who was still wrapped against her, her chest rising and falling as she slept.

"Only 5:30, we still have a little time," Gloria continued to stroke Red's cheek with her thumb. Red looked back at Gloria with wide, anxious eyes, but at Gloria's stern gaze, Red lay back down wordlessly.

"I don't think I can be without you for two years," Red admitted. "Gloria, I don't think I can."

Gloria nodded and reached for Red's hand. "Will you wait for me?" she asked.

"Of course, I will," Red whispered, "you know I will. But a part of me really just wants to stay."

"You can't," said Gloria plainly. "So, there is no use even thinking that way. You need to think about what you're going back to. Focus on the kids."

"My kids are all grown up," Red informed her, "they have lives of their own now and my life is with you."

"I'll see you every week," Gloria told her, "I'll talk to you all the time."

"I am going to miss you so much," Red sat up and wrapped her arms around Gloria's neck, her chin rested on her shoulder.

"I'm going to miss you too," said Gloria, rocking side to side. "but it won't be forever."

"Two years is forever," Red said negatively.

Gloria kissed her cheek and then stared at Nicky, still miraculously still asleep beside them. "Go back to sleep," Gloria whispered, "you have a big day tomorrow, and tomorrow night I'll call you at Vasily's house and you can tell me all about it. I already got all their numbers put on my approved call list so it's all taken care of."

"How did you do that?" asked Red.

"I walked into Healy's office last week and asked him," replied Gloria casually.

Red raised her eyebrows surprisingly, "and he said okay just like that?"

"That's his job," said Gloria, reaching for Red's hand and then pulling it to her mouth for a kiss. "He had no legitimate reason to say no, I had plenty of room left on my call sheet. He was fine when I talked with him. He's not with you?"

"I wouldn't know," Red answered, "I've been avoiding him for over a year."

"You're so immature," Gloria laughed, she nibbled Red's fingertips, "but I love you anyways."

"I love you too," Red whispered, "so much." They held one another tightly as they waited in silence for the lights to flicker on and for the dormitory to come to life.

Nicky groaned as she opened her eyes, "morning already?" she complained, "f**k!". Gloria and Red shared a look in the daylight. The guard could come at any time. It was almost goodbye.

"When did you get here, Gloria?" asked Nicky, sitting up and rubbing her eyes.

"A couple hours ago," said Gloria simply, as Red slumped back against the metal frame and heaved a deep breath of relief. Nicky didn't know anything that had transpired.

"If you wanted to say a proper goodbye you could have asked me to move," Nicky winked. "Give yourselves a little more space."

"Don't be silly," Red scoffed at her.

"Reznikov!" called Officer McCullough, standing at the entrance of their cube, "van is pulling out. Time to go!"

Red stared at the young officer in bewildered shock. She was struck dumb and didn't even think she could get up and walk. She wanted to sit there with Nicky and Gloria forever. How could she leave them both behind?

"Let's go," Gloria said encouragingly, gripping Red's hand and tugging her out of the bed. Red slowly stood up and Nicky reluctantly followed. Nicky hung back as they walked towards the door to processing. The door Red would walk out of and not return from.

"Can I get somebody down to processing?" McCullough said into her radio, "door's locked."

"I'll call you tonight to check in," Gloria promised. "But don't feel bad if you're out on the town having fun and aren't home to answer."

"I'll answer," Red said in a voice rich with emotion, she reached out for Gloria's hands and allowed Gloria to pull her in to a tight hug.

"It's going to be okay," Gloria promised her, "I've got Nicky, so you don't need to worry about her. Everything will be fine."

Red nodded and blinked several times. She couldn't keep her eyes focused on any one person or spot as they flickered from Gloria's face, to the ceiling, to McCullough, to the door, to Nicky, and back to Gloria.

Gloria gripped Red by the chin, "I love you," she said strongly.

"I love you, too," Red's voice cracked with emotion, "so much." The door to freedom opened with a loud bang, and Red began to tremble as McCullough cleared her throat.

"Nicky," Gloria calmly turned to glance at Nicky who had been leaning against the wall observing their exchanges. At Gloria's look, Nicky heaved a great sigh and walked over to her mother.

"Bye, mom," she hugged Red closely, "I promise not to do anything too f**ked up while you're gone."

Red made an odd sound that was a mix of a chuckle and a sob. "You behave _Malyshka_ , understood? And you don't give Gloria any trouble." Red was shaking from head to toe, and Nicky gripped Red by the arms as though afraid she might fall without support.

"I never do," Nicky smiled and winked at her, "Seriously, I'll be good."

"Good," Red whispered, and brought both her hands up to wrap around Nicky's head. "I love you, honey." Their eyes met for a brief moment, before they both simultaneously broke the contact. It was too painful to maintain.

"I love you too, mom," Nicky blinked several times and bounced on the balls of her feet anxiously.

Red released Nicky, and turned to nod at the impatient and bored looking McCullough. "I'm ready," she stammered. She looked back over her shoulder at the two women she loved so dearly, and then she was gone. The door clanged shut behind her.

Nicky burst into tears the moment Red was out of sight. She no longer needed to try and be brave for her. "Ai, Ai, here mami," Gloria crooned and pulled Nicky into her waiting arms. "I'm still here. You have me. Let's go get some breakfast."


	2. Chapter 2

Gleeful shouts of "Ma! Mama!" greeted Red as she walked out of the doors of the prison, into the crisp January air. Her eyes were bright and glossy, her hair tousled, and her lip twitched threateningly, but her sons' cries made her smile. These were her boys. Vasily swung open the driver's door of his 1997 Toyota Tercel, and jogged over to where she stood, Yuri and Maxim both close behind him.

"You're all here!" Red exclaimed, as Vasily threw his arms around her so enthusiastically that she was pushed two steps backwards. "Vasily!" she scolded her youngest son good-naturedly, trying her hardest to seem fine, "you almost knocked me over!" She smiled at her two oldest and perched on her tiptoes so she could kiss them. Her sons were all so much taller than her, a detail she took comfort in now. They were there for her.

"It would take more than that to knock you down," Vasily told his mother with an enthusiastic grin. Red swallowed and glanced back at the building. Vasily shared a nervous look with his brothers and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. Their mamoshka had never been so scared and uncertain before or at least had always hidden it well. She had always been their rock, a pillar of strength, the person who solved all their problems. Even visiting her in prison, their mother had always maintained an aura of confidence and grandeur that reassured them, but there were no traces of that woman today. Red seemed reluctant to take another step, as though debating whether to not run back in and beg to stay.

"Mama?" Maxim's voice broke her out of her reverie, and though he'd spoken gently, Red flinched as though he had shouted at her. "Let's get you out of the cold, huh? You don't even have a jacket on." Yuri wrapped his arm around his mother's shoulders, wondering if the low temperature could explain how much her shoulders were involuntarily shaking. Sadly, he doubted it.

Yuri opened the passenger side door for his mother. "Whose car is this?" Red's voice croaked, as she hesitated on the sidewalk and resisted Yuri's attempt to guide her in.

"Mine," Vasily told her, as he raced around to the other side of the car.

"It looks so old, is it really safe to drive?" she looked over the top of the car at him with a slight frown.

"I guarantee it's safe," Vasily smiled, as he hopped into the driver's seat. "I'm a mechanic, mama. I worked on her myself." Maxim climbed in behind Vasily and shut his door with a bang.

"Okay, Ma?" Yuri asked, his arm still wrapped around her shoulder as they stood on the sidewalk beside the car. His mother's shoulders shaking in his grip.

"Fine," Red said quietly to him. "I was just thinking that your brother didn't even have his driver's license when I came here." She reached a hand into her hair and scratched at her scalp, the expression on her face was blank and unreadable.

"A lot has changed," Yuri said gently, squeezing his mother's shoulder, "it's probably going to be pretty overwhelming for a few days, huh?"

"That's the understatement of the year," Red said tightly, pulling away from Yuri and climbing into the passenger seat. Yuri shut her door for her and then hopped in the back, next to Maxim.

"Seatbelt," Vasily said to his mother with a wry grin.

"Hmm? Oh," Red reached for her seatbelt with shaking hands and struggled to hold it steady enough to clasp.

Watching her struggle was painful for Vasily, she seemed so lost and unsure. He wasn't sure what he had been expecting, but he knew he hadn't been expecting this. His Mamoshka seemed so scared, and he knew he needed to protect her. "It's okay, mama," Vasily soothed, as he leaned over to fasten it for her, pulling it snuggly across her waist. An awkward silence fell across the car, as he put the car into gear and pulled away from the curb, as if nothing untoward had just happened. Red looked back out her window at the prison. She shoved her fist to her mouth and bit down on her knuckles to resist the temptation of shouting at Vasily to turn the car back around. This felt like a mistake, this felt wrong. She was driving away from the only life that seemed real to her now, she was driving away from Nicky and Gloria.

"How was Nicky when you said goodbye?" asked Yuri, as though he had read her mind.

"She was fine," said Red softly, still gazing out the window, "I promised I'd come see her Saturday."

"I can drive you up this Saturday, Ma" Maxim offered, "it would have been my weekend to visit you anyways."

Red turned around to look at her middle son graciously. Of all three boys, he more than the others resembled Dmitri the most, in both stature and temperament. He was kind, dependable, quiet, and easy. He'd been a low maintenance baby, far easier to manage than either of his brothers, and he had grown up to be a gentle and well-mannered man who was always there for everybody. "Thank you, honey," she said, and she reached out her hand to him. Maxim took his mother's hand and kissed it. Reassuring her that he would indeed take her back to visit seemed to have helped calm her a bit. A bit of colour was returning to her pale cheeks. Yuri gave his brother a subtle thumb's up, behind their mother's back.

"We just need to pick up Benny and Julio first," Maxim reminded her casually.

"Gloria's boys," Red murmured almost to herself. She ran her tongue over her bottom lip and then cleared her throat conspicuously, "how are they?" she asked in her best, and poor, attempt at a would be casual voice. She was curious about them and how much she would get to see them. They had shared many rides with Red's sons to the prison, but Red had never personally interacted with them, always seated at another table. But the drives had bonded the boys and they had slowly blended into one another's lives, much to Red and Gloria's delight. Vasily especially seemed to have become something of a big brother and father figure to them; he hung out with them a lot. Red and Gloria both hoped that would work in their favour when they decided to share their relationship with their children. Nicky was still the only one who knew.

"Alright, I suppose," Vasily glanced at his mother out of the corner of his eye, "Benny made the basketball team at school. He has a game on Friday that I promised to go to. You should come too, Ma, it might be fun."

"Maybe," Red said vaguely, tracing the outline of her mouth with her index finger, "that might be nice." She turned to look out the window once more. They were on the highway now. Cars raced past doing such high speeds that Red unconsciously gripped the arm rests with white knuckles, as though that would make a difference in the event of a crash. Vasily switched on the radio to fill the silence in the car. Red watched in wonder as the highway expanded into a maze of lanes and ramps, and countryside grew into buildings that stretched up past the clouds. She hadn't seen anything like it, besides on the television, in so long. Her balled fists slowly became unclenched and her nose almost touched window as she angled her body towards the door and attempted to take it all in. Everything was huge and intimidating, but in spite of this, a flutter of eager anticipation wriggled in her abdomen and she suddenly felt the desire to get out there and explore; to do what she had been deprived of during her imprisonment. She felt a sudden kinship to her younger self; twenty-five years old, walking off the ship, and getting her first glance at America. Galina Reznikov had been full of optimism and possibilities back then, and she had truly hit the ground running. She wondered if there was still some of that spunk buried inside of her. She hoped so.

Vasily pulled off the highway when they approached the Queen's exit, "We're almost there, Ma!" he told her.

Red rubbed her clammy hands up and down her thighs anxiously, the flutters in her belly tangled into a knot as the drive neared its cumulation. Red pursed her lips and leaned forward, staring out the front window with expressionless eyes. Her teeth were clenched so tightly, she was beginning to feel an ache in her jaw. Vasily made a couple turns, and then pulled up before a tiny house that had faded blue siding and a front porch, painted white, with five steps leading to the door.

"Home sweet home," Vasily smiled at his mom.

"Vasily, it's very sweet!" she smiled at him sincerely, "you've done well for yourself." She peered back out the window at the little house. It was adorable and obviously well cared for. The windows were gleaming in the January sunlight and the rails of the porch were still adorned with Christmas lights.

"Eh, it needs a new coat of paint," Vasily said modestly, "but it has to wait until the snow melts. Then I can do the job myself."

"You need to take down your lights," Red raised her eyebrows at him, "Christmas was over three weeks ago."

"You sound like, Lida," Vasily complained, "she was nagging me about them just this morning. I told her I'd get to it once I was done completing everything else on her list of demands. A man's got to rest sometime!"

"Well I'm glad she keeps you busy," Red told him, "it keeps you out of trouble. Is Lida home?"

"She should be," Vasily said, "and the kids. You excited to meet your grandbabies? Alexei is so excited to see you."

"What have, what have you told him about me?" Red stammered, running her hands back and forth across her thighs again.

"Nothing Ma! He's three! And Vera just turned four months old," Vasily placed an encouraging hand on his mother's shoulder. "Hey, as far as I'm concerned, that's your story to tell your way if and when you choose to. Nobody's going to ask you about it."

Red lifted her left hand to her shoulder and covered Vasily's hand with it. "Okay," she said, digging her long nails into his skin, "I'm ready."

"Okay," Vasily said, "but first things first, give me a hand waking the two goons in the back seat." He motioned to his older brothers who had both fallen asleep somewhere along the drive, and were now snoring loudly. "They always do this!". Red chuckled and opened her door to go around to the back and wake Yuri.

"Honey," she stroked Yuri's hair, "we're here." Yuri tried the bat her hand away and mumbled in his sleep, before opening his glazed eyes and smiling when he saw his mother leaning over him. How many times had she woken him in the same way, with gentle affection and a loving look. It was comforting to see that fifteen years in prison hadn't changed that about her. Vasily was not quite as gentle in his approach, as he opened Maxim's door and began irritatingly patting him on the cheek while yelling "WAKE UP! WAKE UP!" into his ear.

"Ah, what's wrong with you?" Maxim groaned and aimed a kick at his younger brother.

"It's not fair," Vasily complained, "you guys fall asleep every single time, while I'm stuck doing all the driving."

"You always volunteer to drive," Yuri pointed out, "even before you got your own car, you were always begging to take mine!"

"Are we going in or not?" Red asked them impatiently, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. She didn't really want to go in, but standing out on the sidewalk was doing nothing to quell her fears. It was only increasing the suspense, and she was starting to feel a little sick.

Vasily locked the doors, and then they all followed him up the steps to his house. Yuri was walking behind Red, and placed his hand on her back for support.

"You're home!" a little boy with black hair and striking blue eyes raced up to them when Vasily opened the door.

"Hi bud!" Vasily greeted his son, but Alexei bypassed him and jumped into Maxim's arms.

"Uncle Maxim! You wanna see my tent?" he asked, his arms and legs so tightly wound around his uncle that Maxim could have let go of him and it was doubtful he'd drop.

"Sure," Maxim laughed, "Can Daddy come in your tent too?"

"Nope," Alexei shook his head.

"Tough break, bro," Maxim teased his brother.

"No fair," protested Vasily, "I gave you life, Alexei, and I'm pretty sure I also paid for the tent."

"Now wait a minute, I'm pretty sure I was the one who did all the hard work bringing forth that life" said a petite blonde with enormous hazel eyes, as she walked into the room cradling a baby in her arms. "And I put the tent together this morning, so can mommy come in, Alexei?"

"There's only room for me and Uncle Maxim," Alexei told his mother, "maybe next time mommy." Maxim threw him up in the air and the two hurried down the hallway, laughing the whole way.

Lida watched them go, and then she turned to look at Red who had been watching the exchanges while leaning awkwardly against the door. Red felt entirely out of place, and more than a little claustrophobic in the cramped foyer. Yuri was still standing with his arm around her protectively, but even he didn't seem to have a clue how to bridge the divide.

"Hi, Mama!" Lida said perkily, and she leaned over to kiss her mother-in-law's cheek, the baby still in her arms. "Look Vera, this is your Grandma," she crooned to her daughter as she bounced the baby up and down, doing a little dance in place, as she spoke, that made the four-month-old belly laugh.

"She's beautiful," Red said to Lida, her voice quiet and a little muffled.

"You hear that beautiful girl?" Lida said to the baby, she laughed as the baby cooed. Lida looked between the baby and Red. "I think she takes after you," she smiled at her mother-in-law.

"Me? No," Red shook her head, "she's her mother's girl. She has your large brown eyes."

"She has my eyes," Lida conceded, "but I think the rest is you. I can already tell she is going to have red hair."

"Really?" Red reached her hand out to caress the beautiful baby. Vera giggled and caught Red's finger in her tiny fist. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh" screeched the baby happily.

"Are you telling Grandma a big story?" Lida asked the baby, and she laughed as the baby continued to babble, "this one is a huge talker," she said to Red, "Alexei didn't babble as much, he put all his energy towards finding ways to move. The busiest child in the entire world, I'm convinced. He exhausts me, but he's pretty fun."

"Sounds like Vasily," Red told her daughter-in-law, her voice starting to sound more steady and like itself, "Vasily had more energy then both his brothers put together. I didn't think I'd ever get to sleep again."

Lida laughed, "that does not surprise me one bit," she replied, and then gave her husband a stern look.

"What?" Vasily asked his wife.

"Did you think I wouldn't care about the mess you made upstairs this morning?" she asked him.

"What mess?" Vasily asked cluelessly.

"What mess?" Lida rolled her eyes dramatically at Red, "your son left a trail of clothes from the bed to the washroom, left puddles and a damp towel on the floor, and whiskers in the sink from shaving."

"I was getting ready in the dark," Vasily told her, "I didn't want to disturb you, when you looked so beautiful and peaceful sleeping." He leaned over to kiss his wife's cheek.

"Nice try," Lida told him, "I got disturbed the moment I woke up and saw my house trashed."

"That's a bit dramatic, isn't it?" Vasily joked, "it was just some clothes."

Lida shook her head firmly, "you better get upstairs and clean that mess up if you know what's good for you."

"Right away, my dear," said Vasily, and he jogged up the stairs.

Deciding his mother was fine with Lida, Yuri followed his brother up the stairs laughing. "Are you ever whipped," they heard him proclaim when he reached the top floor.

"Come in!" Lida said to Red warmly. She walked down the narrow hall towards the kitchen. Red followed her slowly, passing a bright and welcoming living room that was littered with toys, including a printed Paw Patrol tent that was shaking with Maxim and Alexei's movement. The kitchen was small and pretty, with green cabinets and a flower printed backsplash. Lida, went to the stove to stir a large pot of soup she had simmering. On the counter, was a knife and cutting board, and fresh vegetables ready to be made into a yummy salad. "The soup should be ready soon," Lida told her with a smile.

Alone with her daughter-in-law and the baby, Red shifted her weight from side to side and rubbed her palms together. "I could make the salad," Red offered awkwardly.

"Oh, that's okay," Lida shrugged, "you just got here. You should take it easy for awhile." She smiled encouragingly, but could tell from her mother-in-law's fallen expression that she needed something to do. Feeling useful would help convince her that she wasn't invading Lida's space, that they were all actually overjoyed to have her with them.

"Here, will you take her?" Lida asked, motioning to the baby.

"Won't she be scared?" Red asked nervously, "she doesn't really know me."

"Sometimes she makes strange," Lida said honestly, "but she seems to already love you. She keeps cooing and blowing you raspberries, that's the highest compliment coming from her. I've never seen her do that for anybody else when she first meets them."

"Okay," Red said nervously, taking her granddaughter into her arms. The baby fussed for a minute, but Red swayed instinctively side to side, and patted her back until Vera rested her head on her Grandmother's shoulder, and began suckling her fingers.

"See she's fine," Lida said with a bright smile, "If you keep holding her like that I bet she'll fall asleep and you can lay her down in her crib. She can be such a Velcro baby, I spend most of time just carrying her around." She turned back to the counter and began chopping the vegetables for their salad, "but maybe carrying a 15-pound weight around will help me burn some more calories. I gained almost fifty pounds when I was pregnant with her, and I've only lost half of it!"

"You look beautiful," Red told her daughter-in-law truthfully.

"Thanks," Lida looked over at her with a smile. Red snuggled the beautiful baby close and sat down at the kitchen table. She felt emotionally exhausted and entirely out of her element, but in the quiet atmosphere of the kitchen, with just Lida and Vera, she was beginning to relax. Lida smiled more than anybody Red had ever known, and she was so warm and inviting that it was hard for Red not to take comfort in her presence. Vasily had told his mother years ago, when they had first begun dating, that Lida was his "Ray of Sunshine", and Red completely understood why he had said that. Lida was a joy. And as Vera clutched the fabric of her Grandma's sweater in her tiny fist, Red felt a surge of love burst from her heart. Maybe everything would be okay.

"Mommy, I want a cookie!" Alexei announced, walking into the kitchen, his eyes transfixed on Red.

"No way," Lida told him, "your lunch Is ready, so sit down and I'll get you a bowl." Alexei climbed into the chair next to Red.

"Hey Alexei, did you know that Grandma is Daddy's mommy?" Lida asked Alexei as she put a bowl of soup down in front of him.

"Daddy's mommy?" Alexei looked confused.

"That's right," Lida told him.

"You have mommy?" Alexei poked his mother in the nose.

"No, mommy's mommy died when she was a little girl," Lida told him.

"That's too hot," Alexei told his mother, pushing the bowl away. At three, he was incapable of staying on one subject for too long.

"No, it's not," Lida said firmly, "I put an ice cube in yours to cool it down. It's fine. Now eat it before it gets too cold!"

"I want bread," Alexei whined.

"You can have a piece of bread once I see you eat some of your soup," Lida told him, then she gave Red an exasperated look, "if it were up to him, he'd live off of a steady diet of bread and chocolate milk."

"I want chocolate milk!" exclaimed Alexei.

"See what I mean?" sighed Lida.

"Well, in all fairness you're the one who brought the chocolate milk up, Lida," said Vasily as he, Maxim, and Yuri walked into the kitchen. "Alexei wasn't even asking for it before you put the idea in his head."

Lida flashed him a dirty look, "make yourself useful and take the baby upstairs so that your mom can eat."

"Oh, I can take her," Red said, standing up, "I'd like to."

"It's the second door on the right," Lida told her with a smile, "and your room is directly across from that if you want to look at it."

Red walked out of the kitchen, grateful to have an excuse to be by herself for a few minutes. She cradled Vera in her arms and carefully walked her up the stairs and through the second door on the right. It was a small bedroom, that had Alexei's race car bed against one wall, and Vera's white wooden crib against another. The crib had teeth marks all along the top bar that must have been inflicted by Alexei when he was a baby, as Vera was still too small. "Here you go, precious girl," Red whispered, as she carefully laid the baby girl down in her crib. Vera twitched at the movement, before relaxing back to sleep. Red gripped the rails of the crib and looked down at the sleeping angel with a tender expression on her face. Vera was her fourth grandchild, but the first one she had had the opportunity to hold; and though she'd known her for less than an hour, Red could already tell that she was hopelessly in love with her beautiful granddaughter.

Red tore herself away from the sleeping baby, a few moments later, and walked into the room across the hall that had been set up for her. Her lips parted and her breath halted when she saw the beautiful room, and the obvious care that had been put into it. The walls were a sunny buttercream yellow, and the air still held a whiff of that new paint smell which meant they had been done recently with her in mind. A Queen size bed took up most of the floor space, save for the matching dresser and bookcase that had been set on either side of the bed. The bookcase even held a couple different volumes that Red recognized from having stood on her own bookshelf years ago, in the small apartment above her and Dmitri's store.

"Do you like it?" Lida's voice made Red jump. She was standing in the doorframe, with her legs crossed, and her arms folded.

"This is for me?" Red choked and her eyes shined with unshed tears, "it's beautiful."

"We want you to be happy here," Lida told her, as she walked in the room and sat on the edge of the bed. "Your kids are so happy to have you back, and I'm thrilled to have the chance to get to know you better. My mom died when I was a little kid, so it means so much to me to have my mother-in-law here, and for my children to grow up with a grandmother in their lives. I never had that, and I want it for them."

"Thank you for saying that," Red said quietly.

"It's the truth," Lida said firmly. "did you look in the closet?" she asked, as she stood up and slid the sliding closet door open.

"You bought me clothes?" Red said in awkward amazement, for in the closet hung an assortment of beautiful sweaters, slacks, and skirts, all still with price tags adorned, which meant they had been bought exclusively for her.

"I like to shop," Lida giggled and shrugged her shoulders as if the act was nothing. "I left the price tags on in case you want to return or exchange them, if I got the wrong sizes or you didn't like what I picked. We can go to the mall together tomorrow, I don't have to work until five o'clock. I put some toiletries and other things for you away in the dresser."

"Lida, this is—," Red shook her head, and didn't know what to say. She was completely taken aback by this girl's extraordinary act of kindness. Red was more than a bit uncomfortable with it, because she had nothing to offer the girl in return, or so she thought.

Lida's eager smile diminished, and she bit her bottom lip nervously as a pink flush worked its way across her cheeks. Red didn't miss the change in her body language and knew she had made Lida worry that she had overstepped her boundaries and made her mother-in-law uncomfortable. Red was hit with the realization that Lida desperately wanted to welcome her, for reasons not entirely clear yet.

Red walked over to the bed and sat down next to her daughter-in-law. "Thank you," she said deeply, "this is more than I ever expected, certainly more than I deserve."

"You deserve it," Lida told her sincerely, and Red gave her a stern look of disbelief and clicked her tongue.

"You know, I always really liked you," she told Lida, "even when Vasily showed up for a visit sporting that black eye you gave him."

"Oh my god," Lida covered her mouth with her hand and flushed scarlet, "you know about that."

"Mhmm," Red nodded and gave the young girl a wry grin, "don't worry, dear, I wasn't angry. I'm sure he deserved it."

"Yeah, he did," nodded Lida seriously, and then she smiled again, "you liked me when we first met?" she asked.

"That surprises you?" Red frowned, "has anybody ever not ever liked you?"

"Anna's not too crazy about me," Lida confessed.

"Yuri's wife?" Red rolled her eyes, "consider that a compliment. Are they together right now?"

"For the time being," Lida laughed, "but that could change by tomorrow."

 _Knock, Knock_

Yuri walked into the room holding a cordless phone, "Ma, Nicky's on the phone," he said, and Red jumped up from the bed and grabbed the telephone from him like a lifeline.

"I'll leave you alone," Lida said kindly, "come down and have something to eat afterwards." Yuri followed his sister in law and then shut the door behind them.

"Nicky," Red gasped into the phone, "how are you? Are you okay?"

"I'm okay," Nicky's raspy voice answered, and Red let out a little whimper of delight and the sound. Nicky was so familiar, so comforting, and excruciatingly so far away. "Gloria told me to wait and call you tonight, wanted you to get acclimated first, but I couldn't wait any longer."

"Oh, honey, I'm so glad you didn't wait," Red said, choking back a sob as tears fell freely from her eyes. Thank goodness Nicky couldn't see her right now. "I've needed to hear your voice so badly."

"I mean it's only been like five hours," Nicky laughed.

"That's it?" Red exclaimed, "it seems so much longer." She hiccupped back a sob and paced back and forth the length of the small room.

"So, what's happening?" Nicky asked, her tone revealing her trepidation.

"I'm at Lida and Vasily's," Red told her.

"I know that," Nicky said in exasperation, "but what's going on?"

"I held the baby," Red told Nicky, "she's beautiful."

"Yeah? That's nice," Nicky said indifferently, "so are you still coming to see me Saturday?"

"Of course," Red told her, "the thought of seeing you is all that's keeping me going."

"Just checking," Nicky murmured quietly. Red could hear the insecurity in Nicky's voice and wished she could beam herself there and hold her little girl until she felt better. Red closed her eyes and could totally picture Nicky in her mind; standing slumped against the wall with the phone to her ear, twirling the cord around her finger; looking so vulnerable and uncertain.

"How are things?" asked Red.

"Gloria made me help her bake cookies," Nicky told Red, as though it was the worst punishment in the world, "said something about busy hands, I don't know. Now she's cleaning the entire kitchen even though she hates to clean!"

"That's good," said Red. She lay down and squeezed a pillow in an attempt to calm herself, lest Nicky pick up on how badly she was on the verge of losing it. She just missed them so much.

"It's movie night tonight so Alex and I bought a ton of junk food from commisary to split," Nicky continued to say. "Now I know how she felt when Piper got out."

"It won't be long and you'll be out here with me," Red said, reassuring them both.

They talked for a few minutes and then Nicky sighed. "Uh, Ma? I have to go now."

"Okay," Red told her, "I'll talk to you tomorrow. I love you so much, malyshka."

"I love you too. Bye"

 _Click_

Red hung up the phone, and buried her face in the pillow so nobody would hear the uncontrollable heavy sobbing. What would she give to have Nicky sleeping in a narrow bunk above her right now.


	3. Chapter 3

"You want more tea, Grandma?" Alexei asked excitedly, running across the living room to stand before Red, once she had taken enough pretend sips out of the little tea cup to satisfy him.

"Mhmm, yes, I would," Red said with a smile, passing her grandson the cup he had moments ago given to her. "Can you add some sugar and milk this time for me, please?" she asked leaning further back into the comfy couch cushions. It had been a long time since she had sat on something so soft.

"Okay," Alexei replied enthusiastically, and he rushed off to his play kitchen to pretend make his grandmother another cup of tea; his eyes crossed and he bit his tongue in concentration as he pretended to pour, and then stir, the imaginary contents. Red gave a little chuckle, and rested her elbow on the arm of the sofa as she watched him. Despite how much she missed Gloria and Nicky, Red was grateful to have this time with her grandson. Alexei was a positively delightful child and Red was grateful to have the chance to know him.

After her conversation with Nicky, Red had stayed upstairs for a good long while. She had needed to cry, she had needed to rest, and she had needed time to process everything that was happening around her. So many changes; Red was emotionally spent. To say she missed Nicky and Gloria, would be a huge understatement; she was aching to hold them with every fibre of her being. And yet she felt conflicted, because all her family was going above and beyond to welcome her home, and she knew this was where she wanted to be. She wanted to be free, she wanted a real life, she only wished Gloria and Nicky could be experiencing it with her. Everything would have been perfect if they could have walked out of that place together. Instead, Red was feeling completely torn; feeling the need to be in two separate places, and not really belonging in either of them.

She had taken a shower, and the experience of bathing in total privacy was one that she completely savoured. After years of queuing up to use a fungus infested shower, while women crowded around, and only a ratty transparent curtain to hide her modesty, this felt like paradise. She was a person again. She had the right to her privacy, a right to her dignity, and a right to make her own decisions; those liberties had been returned to her. It was as if her humanity was being restored. Red then had changed into clothes that Lida had bought her; black slacks and a soft blue sweater. They fit like a glove, and the sweater exactly matched her eyes. It was incredulous to Red just how much new clothes, especially new clothes in such pretty and vibrant colours, could boost her confidence. But after years clad in inmate attire, beautiful clothes were a luxury Red would never take for granted. She had actually had a difficult time tearing herself away from her reflection in the mirror once she had dressed. She thought she looked beautiful and respectable, and that gave her the encouragement she needed to walk back downstairs and join her family. She at least no longer looked the part of the newly released prisoner with nowhere else to go.

The house was quiet and peaceful. Vera was still napping, and her sons had all headed off to their respective jobs to earn a half-day's wage they couldn't afford to lose. Red had walked down the stairs to find Alexei conked out in front of the television, while Lida sat at the kitchen table and stared at her laptop. Not wanting to disturb Lida's moment of peace, Red hesitantly sat down beside the grandson she had waited three years to meet and asked him what he was watching. Alexei had broken into an enthusiastic description of "Diego", (which he pronounced egg-oh), and all the different animals he was going to rescue on the show. Once Diego was over, Alexei had started making his Grandmother cups of tea and different meals out of the pretend food his kitchen was well stocked with. Red couldn't help but be amused that her grandson seemed to already have such a penchant for cooking. And it warmed her heart than he seemed to be accepting of having a stranger in his house. Red had felt especially uncertain about him when she'd first arrived because, despite knowing quite a bit about young boys, she'd never had to actively work to create a relationship with one before. It was quite different than meeting a child in infancy, because just tending to a preschooler's needs would not be enough to make them instantly like you. Three-year-olds were curious creatures, with a knack for being standoffish and sometimes downright offensive. Alexei was her grandson, and for that she loved him by default, but Red couldn't shake the fear that he would reject her and thus prove that she would never actually belong with them. The adults could be deliberately polite to her out of pity, but a three-year-old was not capable of living out such a lie. Alexei's positive response to her attempts to engage with him filled Red with hope that this might actually work. That she really could be more than just somebody you tolerated.

"Mommy, you want to have tea?" Alexei turned to his mother. Lida had walked into the living room and curled up on the sofa next to Red; she tucked her feet up beneath her, and clutched an oversized coffee mug in her hand.

"Oh, thanks honey," Lida yawned, "but I think I'm going to stick with my coffee for now. Mommy needs coffee if I'm going to keep up with you until bedtime! Do you have a donut or something in your kitchen that I could have with it?"

"No treats before supper," Alexei answered, in a monotonous tone that implied he must hear those words spoken to him multiple times a day.

"That's right," Lida laughed, "Cause then mommy won't be able to eat her supper." She turned to Red with a look of amusement on her face, and then took a sip from her mug.

"You have to eat supper," Alexei informed his mother, as he turned back to his kitchen.

"I put a roast in the oven," Lida told Red, "it will be ready by the time Vasily gets home. Maxim is coming back for dinner too, but Yuri had to get home to Anna and the kids." Lida laid her head lazily back against a gray and white striped throw pillow that complimented the gray fabric cover she had draped over the sofa. Nothing in Lida and Vasily's home was expensive or flashy, but Red could tell that every item in it had been selected with much thought and care. Beautiful family photographs adorned the walls in simple frames, the busy print of the area rug livened up the neutral room, without being too imposing, and the muted coral on the printed area rug, lampshades, and even the coffee table coasters, contrasted nicely with the gray furniture in a colour combination that seemed both stylish and warm. It was a friendly room to be in. The Reznikov's had never had much, but they did well with what they had; sometimes even better than those who had a lot more.

"Here, Grandma!" Alexei shouted, running back over to her with the little teacup.

Red took the cup from the little boy and smiled. "Thank you, honey," she said, and pretended to stake a sip.

"Careful it's hot, don't burn your tongue!" Alexei cautioned, as he began to jump up and down.

"I'll be careful," Red promised. "You look like you have bugs in your pants," she observed, as she pretended to take another sip of his tea.

"You mean ants in your pants?" Lida glanced at her mother-in-law out of the corner of her eye, and readjusted her yoga pants, tugging them over her still slightly rounded stomach.

"Yes, ants," Red corrected herself with a roll of her eyes, and a smirk on her lips.

Lida laughed, "I completely agree. One of the main reasons that I despise winter so much is that I hate being cooped up inside with kids who need to be let out to burn off some energy. I don't really like to take Vera out in this sort of weather, so Alexei and I spend way too much time indoors driving one another crazy."

"I could stay here with the baby, if you ever feel like taking Alexei out by himself," Red offered uncertainly. The moment she spoke, she regretted it, and she bit her lip as though hoping she could bite back the words that had slipped out. Red was worried she had overstepped her boundaries and put Lida in the uncomfortable position of having to say no, when Lida had been really going out of her way to be nice to her today.

"Thanks, mama," Lida replied, without even a moment of hesitation, "maybe tomorrow?"

"Sure," Red nodded, and let out a breath that she hadn't realized she had been holding. She didn't know what she would have done if Lida had said no, if it happened that they weren't comfortable trusting her alone with the children. She was a convicted felon after all. She would never be able to escape that truth. She kept inwardly bracing herself to be slighted or scorned for the crimes of her past, but instead was greeted with acceptance and love. After years of living as a condemned woman, it was an adjustment to accept that her penance in prison had wiped her slate clean. Red still felt very tarnished and inferior.

Lida gave her an understanding sort of smile, "So, how was Nicky?" she acted tactfully, drumming her fingers against her mug expectantly.

"I think she's okay," Red pursed her lips at the mention of her daughter, "Gloria seems to be taking good care of her for me." Her eyes were focused on Alexei who had taken that moment to dump a bunch of blocks into his toy shopping cart and then take off down the hall with it.

"Gloria?" Lida asked, with a slight tilt of her head. "Is that Julio and Benny Mendoza's mother?"

"Yes," said Red simply, as a rosy flush of colour spread across her pale skin.

"Her sons are very sweet," Lida said casually, and she took another sip of her coffee, "Vasily really enjoys them. How much longer until she gets out?"

"Nearly two years," Red croaked, and she cleared her throat and rubbed her hand over her chest.

"That's too bad," said Lida sympathetically, as she stood and walked to the hallway. "Is she a good friend?" she asked, peering around the corner to ensure that no mischief had befallen her little boy.

"I guess you could say that," Red said flatly, and then she bit down on the inside of her cheek. She shouldn't have mentioned Gloria's name, they had both agreed it was best to keep their relationship to one another a secret until the right time. They had always planned to acknowledge a friendship, which would explain the frequent visits and phone calls, but Red was realizing that that was easier said then done. She found it incredibly difficult to seem vague and aloof on the subject of Gloria Mendoza because nothing about the feelings and urges that just the mention of her name invoked in Red could be considered tame. Red pulled at her collar in an attempt to cool herself from the flush that had spread throughout her body, but all that served was to have an image flash through her mind of Gloria pulling back her clothing and reaching a hand down her front to fondle her breasts. Red missed her so much.

"Whaaaaaaaaa" cried Vera through the monitor that had been stationed on the tv stand.

"Ugh," Lida groaned, "I was hoping she would have slept a bit longer. She hasn't been sleeping well lately, I guess she just doesn't want to miss anything."

"I'd like to get her," Red told her daughter-in-law, getting to her feet. She was eager to hold the baby again, and she also needed a welcome distraction from the intoxicating images of Gloria that Lida was completely unaware she had provoked in her mother-in-law through her questions.

"Thank you!" exclaimed Lida, "I really wanted to finish my coffee first."

"Go drink your coffee," Red told her with a warm smile.

"Grandma, I'll help you!" Alexei exclaimed, as he ran over to Red and tucked his little fist in her hand.

"Are you a big help with your little sister?" Red asked him, as she allowed him to pull her up the stairs.

"I always know what Vera wants," Alexei nodded importantly, "Vera's my friend."

"She's a lucky little girl to have you," Red said, as she opened the door to the nursery. "How's the little girl?" she exclaimed to the baby, who stopped crying immediately once Red leaned over her crib. "Up, up, up," Red murmured as she picked Vera up. The baby nestled against her shoulder, and Red moved her to the table.

"Ew, Vera stinks!" Alexei poked the baby in the shoulder, who giggled at the sound of her brother's voice.

"That's okay, we'll fix her," Red said, "won't we?" she tickled the baby, who gurgled contentedly. Red changed and dressed the baby with expert hands, while Alexei supervised. "All done," Red said to the baby in a singsong voice, "Let's go back downstairs to your mama," she said to Alexei, "Daddy should be home soon and then we're going to have supper."

"Will you play with me more after supper, Grandma?" Alexei asked, as he hopped down the stairs behind her.

"Of course, I will!" Red smiled, and her heart seemed to expand in her chest. She knew her grandchildren were happy to have her.

"Oh, she's coming now!" Lida was saying into a phone, as she leaned against the banister at the bottom of the stairs. Red looked at her in puzzlement. "It's Gloria," Lida told Red, "I was just about to come up and get you."

"Who is Gloria?" asked Alexei, tugging on his grandmother's sweater.

"Grandma's…friend," Red explained to him quickly, as she reached her available hand out for the phone. Prison phone calls were restricted to twenty minutes, after that Gloria would need to hang up and return to the back of the line. How many minutes had passed?

"Come to mommy," Lida said to Vera, as Red passed the baby to her, "Did you have a good nap, baby girl? You want your milk now? Alexei, come help me finish supper," she reached for her son, as he attempted to follow Red back up the stairs, "Grandma is on the phone right now. You need to leave her be."

"Gloria," Red panted into the phone, as she turned and walked back up the stairs to her bedroom, "it's really you!"

"It is," Gloria replied, "how are you? I miss you."

"I miss you!" Red exclaimed, as she shut the door to her room behind her and placed her palm on the oak of the door and leaned her forehead against it. "Oh, God, I miss you!"

"I know," Gloria said understandably, "it feels like last night was a century ago. I wish I could hold you again tonight.

"Mhmm," Red said sadly.

"But you seem like you're okay," Gloria said encouragingly, "you're with the babies, and your daughter-in-law seems nice, even if she took an irritatingly long time passing the phone to you."

"How long was she talking to you?" Red asked anxiously, running her hands through her hair as she stepped away from the door and lowered herself onto the bed.

"Close to four minutes," Gloria said, "so you get sixteen."

"I want all the minutes," Red pouted, as she stretched out on the bed on her back, "and even that wouldn't be enough."

"Enough for what?" asked Gloria, her voice lowering an octave.

"Enough for you to say all the things I need for you to say," Red sighed.

"What you need for me to say, hey?" Gloria tittered, "Galina Reznikov, you always expect me to do the work don't you. All the talking, all the touching, all the grunt work in the kitchen whenever you and Nicky decided to take off."

"Hey, I took my kitchen very seriously," Red retorted with a smile.

"Except when you didn't," Gloria's voice whispered into her ear, "I had you pretty spoiled in here. Would you agree? Are you spoiled?"

"No," Red purred, "hardly spoiled."

"Mhmm," Gloria's voice affirmed, "I think you are, but I love you so much that I'm okay with that."

"I miss you," Red panted, and tears filled her eyes, as she longed for Gloria more than she thought she could stand.

"I know you do," Gloria said softly, "I miss you too.

"I think being away from you is going to be the hardest thing I've ever done," Red admitted.

"That's pretty flattering," said Gloria, "because it's not as though you've had a particularly easy life."

"That goes for both of us," said Red. "I promise that once you're home, I'll do everything I can to make you happy for the rest of your life."

"By being in my life you've already achieved that," said Gloria.

"Same," Red whispered.

"It's going to be okay," Gloria told her. "I'll see you in a few days, right?"

"And we'll be picking up your sons too," Red said warily, "I've never even spoken to them before."

"There's no pressure though," Gloria told her, "as far as they know, we're just friends. I'm sure they're going to behave with you."

"That means I won't even get to kiss you hello," Red realized, as she pinched her bottom lip between her fingers.

"I know," Gloria sighed, "it will be tough. But maybe next time you can come visit by yourself. Your son will be there too."

"I hate all of this," Red grimaced, and she sat up on the bed, and leaned against her free arm. "Did you know that Vasily is going to Benny's Basketball game this Friday. He said I should come with him, do you think I should?"

"Of course, you should," Gloria told her, and Red could tell she was smiling, "I think that would be great. You should be trying to spend time with them in natural settings like that. Just get to know them while the pressure is still off, it will make everything easier later."

"Okay, I will," Red agreed, straightening up, she walked over to the window to take in the view of her new neighbourhood. They spoke for a few minutes and then Gloria had to hang up the phone. Talking to her made Red feel a little better though and a few minutes later, she emerged downstairs to see that all her sons were beck.

"How was Nicky, Ma?" asked Maxim casually, as he walked over to give his mother a kiss hello.

"Nicky's fine," Red told him, "excited to see us on Saturday." Lida had walked into the living room the same time that Red had, and she caught her mother-in-law's eye with a questioning look when Red failed to correct Maxim. Lida knew that Red had been speaking to Gloria.

"Okay, everyone," Lida clapped her hands together, "dinner is ready! Everyone come in and eat." Lida took her daughter, who had been enjoying a cuddle with Uncle Yuri, and sat down at the table with the baby and began discreetly nursing her beneath her scarf, while attempting to feed herself at the same time. Alexei was seated next to his mother, his already prepared plate was only picked at, as he was focused on blowing bubbles in his cup of chocolate milk. Red didn't hesitate to sit down at the table with her family and fill her plate with a generous portion of Lida's cooking. Red never had gotten around to eating the soup that had been prepared for lunch; too much had been going on for her to stomach eating then, but now she was ravenous. She would have added just a smidgen more of seasoning to Lida's juicy roast, and her mashed potatoes would probably have contained a bit more butter to make them creamier, but Red had to admit that Lida was an excellent cook. It wasn't easy feeding a family, especially when your husband's two older brothers, both with insatiable appetites, showed up for every meal, but Lida took everything in stride.

"I'm doing the dishes tonight," Red told Lida in a clipped tone that left no room for discussion.

"I won't fight you on that," Lida replied, "doing dishes is my least favourite thing! How's the roast?" she asked, as she readjusted her hold on baby Vera.

"The best I've ever eaten," Red told her, "Even better than mine." Lida beamed at the praise. She really wanted Red to like and be impressed by her.

"So why are you here, Yuri?" Red asked him, interrupting the conversation occurring between her three sons, "I thought you needed to get home to Anna and the kids?"

"Anna, kicked him out, Ma," Vasily grinned evilly.

"Shut up," Yuri shoved his brother in the arm, "she didn't kick me out, I left."

"He leaves at least twice a month," Vasily told his mother, as he rubbed his arm where Yuri had shoved him. "And then he sleeps on our couch."

"Hmm," Red pursed her lips, "come talk about it later," she told Yuri, and went back to her meal, not wanting to have such a personal discussion in front of the entire family. Red had met Yuri's wife Anna, once. She was taller, thinner, and flashier than little Lida; but she had none of Lida's warmth and charm. In many ways, she reminded Red of the mob bosses wives who had excluded and humiliated her so many years ago, and begun her troubles. She didn't know Anna enough to have a definite opinion, but her and Yuri's marriage had been wrought with tension from the star; they were constantly breaking up and getting back together. It bothered Red for the kids, Feliks and Ivanna. Kids needed stability. Feliks was nine, and Ivanna was seven, and Red was hoping to meet them very soon.

After supper, Red washed the dishes and straightened up the kitchen, while Lida took the two children upstairs for baths and bedtime. It took all of five minutes, for Red to lose patience with her three sons lazing around on the couch, before she snapped at Vasily to go upstairs and help his wife. "Be a parent," she snapped at him, "I haven't seen you lift a finger around here all day."

"That's not fair," Vasily protested, "I had to go to work."

"And what Lida does isn't work?" Red scolded him.

"I'd go if I were you, bro," Maxim told Vasily, "and do it quietly. Those of us without children are trying to watch the game in peace."

"Go back to your house," Vasily told his brother, as he slowly got up off the couch and went upstairs to help his wife with their children.

"I don't have cable," Maxim called after his brother.

"Hey, do you think Vasily has beer in the fridge?" Yuri nudged his brother, "I could use a drink." He hoped up to go look in the fridge.

"You boys a terrible," Red scolded him, but her lips were pressed into a tight smile. She was happy to be there with them. Some things never changed. Her children still ragged on one another as much as they always had.

Once the kitchen was gleaming, Red decided to head upstairs and go to bed early. It had been a very long day and she hadn't slept much of anything the night before. She went to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face, once Lida and Vasily had finished bathing the children. Changed into incredibly comfy satin dark gray pajamas, Red slid between the sheets of her new bed. She had forgotten what it was like to be this comfortable. Maybe her back wouldn't trouble her as much as it always had in the prison. She tried to read one the books on her shelf, but she was only a couple pages in when sleep overtook her. The day had been long, exhausting, and painful, but Red still knew it had to be considered one of her greatest days. She was a free woman. That nightmare was over.

"Mama?"

"Yuri?" Red yawned, as she looked up her son's face with bleary eyes that made it seem as though two of him were standing there, "what is it?"

"I know you were sleeping," Yuri hesitated, "and I'm sorry. I just…wanted to talk."

"Okay," Red said, and she scooted over to the other side of the bed. "Come talk to me."

Yuri laid down in the Queen-sized bed beside his mother. How strange the action felt, although it had once been a nightly occurrence. Yuri had co-slept with his mama until he was three, and even once she transitioned him to his own bed, he could always be depended on for his nightly visits. She had always loved the snuggles with him, and it also helped that Dmitri hadn't been able to tolerate him being in the bed and had decamped to the couch. Yuri had been a teenager when Red had been imprisoned, and had given up on cuddles and bedsharing many years before, but he loved to come and sit on her bed and talk to her before they went to sleep. They had been close. They're bond had been everything that Red felt a bond between a mother and a son should be. It meant the world to her now, that Yuri still instinctively came to her to talk at night when something was bothering him. Prison had deprived him of his mother's reassuring presence for a long time, but now he had her back.

The mother and son were lying on their sides facing one another. "Yuri, what's wrong?" Red asked him with concern, "is it Anna?"

"She told me not to come back, Ma," Yuri said emotionally, as he gripped the bedspread in his hand.

"This isn't the first time that this has happened, Yuri," Red said gruffly, "and you've always gone back." She rubbed at her eye in an attempt to wake herself up and make her more alert.

"Not like this," said Yuri quietly, stretching his arm above his head on the pillow.

"What's different this time?" Red asked him, looking her son dead in the eye.

"She has someone else," Yuri spat out angrily, and he banged his knuckles against the headboard of the bed in frustration.

"Don't ever do that again," Red scolded him.

"Sorry," grumbled Yuri, "I'm just angry."

"I can see that," Red told him. Her eyes darted back and forth over her son. She wasn't sure what the right thing to say to him would be. She had never liked Anna, but Anna was also the mother of two of her grandchildren and therefore it wasn't enough to just tell Yuri to let her go. "How did you discover this?"

"I went home, to change before heading to work and Anna had a man in the house!" Yuri said bitterly.

"With the children, there?" Red asked in horror.

"No, they were at school," Yuri said impatiently, "but they'll know pretty soon. She says she wants to marry him."

"Yuri, if Anna wants to be with somebody else, there is nothing that you can do to change her mind. You need to let her go and assume you'll be better off. Your focus needs to be on the kids. They deserve to be in a home where there isn't bickering and name calling, and father's slamming out of the place whenever sh!t hits the fan. Feliks and Ivanna are who you need to think about," Red told him wisely.

"Just give it a few months, Ma," said Yuri bitterly, "Anna will have them kids calling that deadbeat loser Dad."

"You're there, Dad," Red told him seriously, "that is never going to change."

"Watch it," Yuri said heatedly, "she's going to take those kids away from me before I can even blink."

"You know that Nicky's birth parents are divorced, right?" Red told Yuri, as she began to rub her hand up and down his bare arm supportively, "They divorced and Nicky's father just stopped coming around. Marka got custody, just like Anna will probably get custody too. Marka brought different men into the house and made things very difficult for Nicky, but guess what her father did? Nothing. He left. He didn't fight for his little girl, he didn't provide a safe place for her to go when she needed time away from her mom, he did nothing. And I will never respect that level of cowardice in a man."

"Nicky's mom probably didn't want him around," Yuri said, "she probably kept him away."

"I think that's what Nicky told herself for a very long time," said Red, continuing to rub Yuri's arm, "because it was easier to blame the mom in front of her then to admit to herself that her father just didn't think she was worth the effort and sacrifice."

"I'm not Nicky's Dad, Ma," protested Yuri, "I'd never walk away. Those kids mean the world to me! But if Anna refuses to let me see them, there's nothing I can do about it. She's the mother. Courts like to side with the mother."

"You need to take this separation like a man," Red said firmly, "you don't punch headboards, you don't get drunk, you don't get into fights with Anna and this new person. You be the better person. You try and settle things so that they are in the best interests of Feliks and Ivanna. Your kids will see what you're doing. Children are always watching us. And you make sure that you are only ever a phone call away from them. They're young now, but sometime when they're a little older they'll have more say over whether or not they want to see you. You do what you need to ensure that they will want to see you, and then you make sure you're there when they do. No court is going to deny access to a good father. You'll still have time with them, Yuri."

Yuri had stared at his mother with wide and meaningful eyes as she spoke. God, he had missed her. He needed her in his life to tell him when he was being wrong, to provide him the guidance he still needed to hear. Red had never coddled her sons, but she had always been there for them, and she'd always been on there side, even when she was telling them off. As a child, Yuri had always believed his mother had the answers to everything. Even as an adult, he had to admit that she came closer than anyone else he knew. "I'll try, Ma" he promised.

"Try hard," Red told him, "I'm sorry this is happening to you. I hate to see you so upset."

"At least I get to vent to you now," Yuri said with a small smile, and he took his mother's hand and kissed it gently before letting it go.

"Do you want to sleep in here with me tonight?" Red asked her son dryly, though with a warm smile that told him she wasn't being sarcastic.

"Really?" Yuri raised his eyebrows, "I'm a grown man, Ma, isn't that a little messed up?"

"Maybe if you made a habit of it," Red shrugged, "if not, I don't see the problem with it."

"I'll stay," Yuri gave in with an easy smile. He stood up and pulled back the covers so that he could slide beneath the covers. "Just don't tell Max or V," he warned his mother, "I'll be out of here before they wake up."

"My lips are sealed," Red assured him, "try not to think anymore about all that tonight, Yuri. It will all still be there in the morning."

"I'm so glad you're back, Ma," Yuri told her affectionately, "I think I can get through this if I have you on my side."

"I'm always on your side," Red told him, "even from prison, I was cheering you on from the sidelines."

"Well, I like this even better," Yuri replied, fluffing up his pillow.

"Me too," Red yawned, "Good night, Yuri," she rolled over to face the outside of the bed.

Yuri smiled as he laid down on his side to face the opposite way, so that he and his mother were back to back, "Good night, Ma," he replied, relishing in being so close to the mother he had needed for so long. She was back.


	4. Chapter 4

"It's going to be fun to see basketball," Alexei said, as he bounced up and down excitedly in the stroller that his Grandmother was pushing him in. They were making their way towards Benny and Julio's school, a few blocks away. The air was crisp and large snowflakes were falling from the sky; sticking to Red's new, burgundy, woolen coat, eyelashes, and hair. She wore no hat or gloves, growing up in the harsh cold of Russia made a New York winter feel almost mild to her, and she didn't like being weighed down by so many layers that made her movements feel stiff and awkward. The same rules did not apply to her grandson, whom Red had bundled up in snow pants, coat, hat, mittens, scarf, and boots for their short walk. Just Alexei's eyes had been peering out from his winter attire, when they had left the house, but he had pulled his scarf down the moment his grandmother had looked away; and was now attempting to catch snowflakes on his tongue, quite content to be out for a stroll on this serene winter evening. Red watched him with a smile, as her new black boots, and the wheels of the stroller, trekked through the accumulating slush on the sidewalk.

This was her first time out of the house alone, without Lida or one of her sons to help her. Vasily and Yuri, had gone ahead because they wanted to oversee some of Benny's pre-game practice. Yuri was still staying at the house, so he had decided to tag along. Red had assured them she would be fine on a ten-minute walk by herself. She had been past the school a couple of times already that week, when out with Lida, and she had a new cell phone that Yuri had bought her, and showed her how to use, in case she should have any trouble. Red had been on her way out the door, when Alexei had wrapped himself around her legs and begged to go with her. She had been in the process of untangling his arms from her, when Lida had walked into the hall and given her mother-in-law a shrug that Red understood to mean, "if you want to, but no pressure". A few minutes later, and Alexei was dressed and excited to be out on his first outing alone with his Grandmother.

"It will be fun," Red agreed, as she turned onto the street the school was on. She wished she felt as confident as she sounded. This would be her first time interacting with Gloria's children, and Red was terrified. She was worried they would somehow sense her relation to their mother, and recognize her as a threat that they needed to extinguish. Red was so grateful to have Alexei with her; he had become her sort of pint-sized security blanket, always being somebody she could interact with when she was unsure of what to say or do otherwise. Gloria had frequently stated how difficult her kids could be, and Red had never been very good in situations where she needed to impress and be liked. Instances like that made her try too hard, and resolutely end up saying and doing some really stupid things. But now her plan was to busy herself with Alexei, and be friendly with Gloria's sons without acting like their approval was of any significance to her. For all the Mendoza boys knew; Red was Yuri, Maxim, and Vasily's mother and a friend of Gloria's from prison; they didn't need to know anything more.

"We're here," Red said to Alexei, as she pressed the button for the door opener. When the door didn't budge, Red pulled it open and then tried to awkwardly maneuver the stroller through the narrow passage.

"Let me get that," an older gentleman, with gray hair and twinkling blue eyes jogged forward to hold the door open for her.

"Thank you," said Red quietly, favouring the man with a small smile as she pushed Alexei's stroller into the school.

"Not a problem," he replied smoothly, "Are you here to watch the basketball game?" he asked her with a smile.

"Mhmm," Red nodded, as she walked down the hallway with Alexei. She was looking for signs for the gymnasium. They were a little late because she hadn't planned on bringing Alexei with her.

"It's this way," the man called from behind her, pointing to a door that led to another hallway that Red had walked past.

"Oh, thank you," Red said graciously, as she twirled the stroller back around, "it's my first time here," she explained to the man, "so I'm not really sure where I'm going."

"It's straight down this hall," he replied, "you'll hear the noise in a few secs. Are you here to watch your son play?"

"No….," Red said vaguely, annoyed the man was obviously trying to insincerely flatter her. "It's a friend of my family."

"Ah, okay," he said, not pressing her any further. They walked a bit further and Red looked into the glass doors of the gym. "Well my grandson plays here and I try to make it to all his games. My name is Mitch Rodriguez, it's nice to meet you." He stuck his hand out for her to take.

Red hesitated before reaching her hand out to shake his. "Thanks for your help," she told him, with a tight smile. She decided not to offer up her own name because she didn't want to encourage this man to continue speaking with her, however flattered she was that anybody considered her worthy of speaking to. Red turned away from him and parked the stroller against the wall, where it would be out of the way. She reached down to grab her purse from the basket and then walked around to the front of the stroller. "Come sweetheart," Red said to Alexei, helping him to stand up. "Let's get your jacket off of you so you don't get too warm." She knelt down on the floor to help remove her grandson's coat, snow pants, hat, boots, and mitts. She decided he was fine in just his sock cladded feet, and stuffed the boots into the stroller basket, with the rest of Alexei's things.

"Okay, let's go watch some basketball," Red said to him, as she took his hand and they walked into the gymnasium. The game was already in full swing, as she scanned the bleachers for her kids.

"Ma!" Vasily called, waving at her from the stand nearest to the door.

"Look, there's your daddy!" Red said to Alexei, as she pointed Vasily out to him.

"Daddy!" Alexei cried, ripping his hand out of Red's grasp, and running towards his father who had climbed down the bleachers to greet them and swooped his son up into his arms, and spun him in a circle.

"What are you doing here?" Vasily asked, as Alexei wrapped his legs around his father's torso.

"Grandma brought me," Alexei told him.

"What a lucky boy you are to have such a nice Grandma," replied Vasily, he turned to his mother, "Hi, Ma, so you had no trouble getting here? I knew you'd be fine, but Yuri wouldn't look away from his phone because he was waiting for you to text us to come get you." He grinned at her cheekily.

"Is that why he got me that blasted thing?" Red rolled her eyes, "he thinks I'm just some senile old lady? It was a walk around the block."

"I know, Ma," said Vasily, "I'm just kidding. Let's go sit down." He walked towards the bleachers with Alexei in his arms, and Red followed behind them. She looked up and could see Yuri sitting with Julio Mendoza, who was playing on his phone and paying no attention to anything around him. Even so, the sight of the 15-year-old boy, made Red's heart begin beating twice as fast. She couldn't help worrying that this boy could be her undoing, and she instantly regretted deciding to come here, like she didn't already have enough going on. As silly as it was, she had a sudden urge to ask Vasily to give her Alexei back; she felt strangely exposed without her grandson.

"Hey, Ma!" Yuri greeted her.

"Surprised to see me here, son? In one piece?" Red raised her eyebrows at Yuri, and sat down next to him, trying to ignore the way her heart was pounding in her chest. All she could focus on was the curious look that Julio had given her, before he promptly turned back to his phone wordlessly.

"I had complete faith in you, Ma," Yuri laughed, "I was just making sure…"

"How thoughtful," Red rolled her eyes at him.

"I'm really glad you're here," Yuri told her, placing a hand on her shoulder and squeezing gently. He turned to Julio. "Hey bud, take a break from Minecraft and say hello. This is my mother, Galina Reznikov."

Julio looked up at Red and gave her a shy sort of smile. "How are you, Mrs. Reznikov?" he asked politely.

"I'm fine," Red told him, looking across Yuri at him, and trying to sound natural, "It's nice to meet you." She couldn't help but notice that his eyes were the exact same shade and shape as Gloria's coffee coloured eyes.

"You too," said Julio awkwardly, and then he turned back to his phone.

"Benny's number seven," Yuri said to Red, "in the orange. The kid's actually pretty good." Red looked down at the game, just in time to see Benny nab the ball from his opponent and dribble towards the hoop. He managed to keep the ball and took his shot. Red breath constricted in her chest, as she watched the ball fly through the air and score.

"He is good," Red said to Yuri in agreement, as she clapped with everyone else. "Oh, you should have been recording that. Why didn't you at least have a camera ready to take a picture?"

"Ma, I'm not his father," laughed Yuri, giving her a perplexed sort of look. Why did it matter to her if a boy she didn't even know had a picture taken of him playing freshman basketball?

"His mother would love to see it," Red said quietly, so that Julio wouldn't hear. "We could mail it to her later. Besides, it's nice to have those things. I was always snapping photos of you kids, when you were growing up." Yuri continued to stare at his mother as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. Then he turned back to the game, with his phone at the ready to snap pictures of Gloria's youngest child playing an awesome game of basketball.

"Grandma, I want to sit with you," Alexei shouted. He had been sitting on his father's lap since they had arrived, but as Vasily slacked his grip, Alexei slid his little feet to the floor and raised his arms to Red, so that she could pull him onto her lap.

"There you go," Red bounced him playfully on her knee a couple times, making the little boy giggle. Alexei leaned his head back against her chest and let out a big yawn. "It's getting close to bedtime, isn't it honey?" Red murmured as she rocked him side to side. "Just a few more minutes and then we'll head home." Home. How easily the word slipped off her tongue, as though she hadn't been dreading walking through the front door a mere five days ago. She did feel alright there, though. It helped that Yuri had taken her to the bank and helped her get all her affairs in order. She had money in her name, half of what their home and shop had sold for after Dmitri's death; it wasn't an elaborate amount by any means, but it was enough for her to at least contribute to their household. Not having to depend on her sons was a huge relief for her. She had told Yuri, on the taxi ride home from the bank, that she had wanted to look for some sort of job soon; she wasn't too old to work, and working would provide her with enough money to get a small apartment of her own. It wasn't about running away from her family, she loved them and would never go far; it was about needing to establish her independence. Galina Reznikov was nothing if not self sufficient, and she had one year to organize her own life so that Nicky would have a place to come home to.

The game ended, and Alexei was already fast asleep. It was almost his bedtime, and it had been a very busy day. "Good game," Vasily commented to their group, "did you watch any of it Julio?" he asked the boy with a wry smile.

"Nope," answered Julio, placing his phone down and looking up at Vasily with a smirk, "I don't really like basketball."

"I don't really either," admitted Yuri, "but I enjoyed this because I liked watching your brother play." He held his phone out to his mother, and swiped to the side to show that he had indeed captured many great action shots of Benny.

"You never liked basketball because you sucked at it," Vasily kidded his brother, with a jovial slap on the back, "Me and Maxim both played all through high school."

Red gave Vasily a stern look, although she did sort of enjoy the playful banter that existed between their sons. It was so normal, they had always been that way with one another; the kidding came from a place of love. "Take your son, will you, honey? He's asleep, and I can't carry him down those steps." Vasily carefully picked Alexei up off of Red's lap, and Red stood up stiffly, after spending over an hour on the hard bleacher. She tried not to show her discomfort as she walked with their group back down to the gymnasium floor.

"You did awesome, Benny!" exclaimed Vasily, holding his free hand up for a high five, when Benny spotted him and walked over.

"I still can't believe you all came to watch me play," he told them in a skeptical voice, that could not wholly mask the elation he was feeling at having people there to cheer him on.

"Well if you keep making baskets like you did tonight, I'll come every week," said Vasily humorously, "just kidding, I'd come either way. But you seriously did amazing tonight."

Benny turned slightly pink in the cheeks, but he rolled his eyes at Vasily's praise, "Okay, then. I have to go change now."

"We'll wait for you," Yuri said, "come back here when you're done." Benny didn't answer him, but scampered off to the changerooms with his head held a little higher than was normal.

"Is your aunt picking you up?" Red asked Julio, who was standing beside her, and had been watching the exchange between his brother and Vasily in complete silence.

"Uhhhhh, she should be," Julio muttered, pulling his phone out of his pocket, "she usually texts me when she's almost here." He swiped through his phone, mindlessly, read something, and then glanced up, "Uh, she said she's running late at work, and will be here as soon as she can."

"Well we'll stay with you until she gets here," said Red in a no-nonsense voice, casually picking at one of her red polished fingernails, so she wouldn't have to look at him, or seem like she cared more than any other concerned adult should.

"That's okay," Julio told her, "Tia Lourdes often has to work late. Benny and I usually just take the bus ourselves if she can't make it."

"At this hour?" Red raised her eyebrows, stabbing the pads of her finger tips, with her nails from the alternate hand. "We'll at least get you a taxi drive home, if she is unable to make it in time." Red abhorred the idea of young boys wandering the streets of Queen's, alone after dark. She knew Gloria would be upset if she knew; god only knew what sort of mischief that had gotten themselves into on late unsupervised nights in the past. Red realized it wasn't Lourdes fault that she was working and struggling to provide for them, while their mother served her time; it was just a sad situation all around. Red had been fortunate to work from home, and keep her children with her while she worked. It had been exhausting running a business and tending to three active boys, with precious little help from Dmitri, but she was grateful for it now.

Julio continued to play on his phone, and Red walked out into the hall to get the stroller and gather up Alexei's winter things. Doing their best not to wake the little boy, she and Vasily worked together to dress Alexei into his snowsuit. The boy's eyes blinked open for a moment, but Red just shushed, patted, and stroked his hair, and with a slight whimper, Alexei fell right back asleep. They reclined the stroller and laid him in it. During that time, Benny came back with his backpack, and wearing a leather jacket that was not warm enough for the weather. Red was sure he had a proper coat at home, because Julio was dressed appropriately, he just didn't want to wear it, and nobody was around to force him. It was sad, and Red's heart was hurting for how much these boys needed Gloria in their life, whether or not they chose to admit it. Their feelings towards her fluctuated on any given day, ranging from contained affection, to indifference, to contempt. Gloria accepted that, and usually they were fairly warm to her. They loved their mom; they were just hurting, and often understandably acted mad at the world.

Most of the crowd had cleared by the time they were leaving the gym. It was getting close to eight-thirty, and Red was anxious to get Alexei home into his own bed. But when they got outside, they realized the snow fall had thickened while they were in the school, layering the streets and sidewalks with a heavy blanket. "Well, I wasn't expecting this," Vasily chuckled, "the weatherman said just a few wet flurries."

"Guys, has your aunt texted you back yet?" asked Yuri, bundling his coat tighter around himself. Red pulled the hood of the stroller down, so that no snow would fall directly on the sleeping toddler.

"She had to work late," Julio told them awkwardly.

"Again?" Benny rolled his eyes, "Jesus Christ." He was shivering, but trying unsuccessfully to hide how cold he was.

"Why don't you and Ma, take Alexei home," Vasily suggested to Yuri, "and I'll stay here and wait with them."

"We don't need you to wait with us!" exclaimed Benny in outrage, "what do you think we'd be doing if you guys weren't here? Besides, we could probably get home and back twice before she shows up." He glanced at his brother who nodded, and slung his backpack over his shoulders, ready to go.

Vasily hesitated, and Red widened her eyes in amazement that he was going to give into them. Sure, Julio and Benny weren't technically his responsibility, and if they were used to fending for themselves, and had their aunt's permission, there wasn't much he could really do, but still. Red couldn't stay quiet and leave Gloria's kids literally out in the cold. She turned to look at them, "Look, the snow is getting even worse," she said, "it's cold, late, and dark. The busses are going to be delayed, and I don't see a cab driver in sight; the roads aren't even plowed. So, you need to text your aunt and tell her that you are going to Vasily's house down the road, and she can pick you up there." Red's tone left no room for discussion, she didn't care how old or independent they said they were. She drummed her fingers against the handlebar of Alexei's stroller, her face the picture of calm, as Gloria's children glared at her, angry that this woman they didn't even know was telling them what to do, and treating them like little kids.

"That's a good idea," said Vasily, looking over at Julio and Benny, "we won't take no for an answer. Better yet, just tell Lourdes that you're going to spend the night; then we can head straight to Litchfield in the morning."

"I don't want to sleep on your couch," complained Benny, with a grimace.

"No, problem," said Vasily good-naturedly, "you can sleep on the floor then."

"Very funny," snapped Benny.

"Give Lourdes a call," Vasily told Julio, ignoring Benny's irritation. Julio did as Vasily instructed, catching his aunt at work. She was scattered, apologetic, and fundamentally relieved when her nephew told her that Vasily was there and had invited them to spend the night. Lourdes always worried about her great nephews. She worked long hours and couldn't be there for them as much as she should have been; but if she didn't go to her job they wouldn't eat. It was a lose-lose situation, and she knew the kids suffered for it. Lourdes was incredibly grateful for the attention the Reznikov brothers bestowed upon Gloria's kids. She knew it did them a world of good to have positive male influences in their lives, something they had never had. They still really needed their mother though, and Lourdes had never been able to successfully step into Gloria's shoes and be that for them. Although she loved the boys with all her heart, she never had enough time or energy to really be there.

"Alright, good night, Tia Lourdes," said Julio into the phone, "yeah…. you too," he hung up and gave Vasily an exasperated look. "Satisfied?"

The snow proved to be too high to maneuver the stroller through, the wheels kept getting stuck. Yuri lifted his nephew up to carry, while Vasily, folded up the stroller and hoisted it over one shoulder. "This snow is insane," Yuri commented, "you might have to postpone your visit if it keeps up," he looked over at Red whose face paled almost as white as the snow.

"That's not an option," Red said crisply, "I'll take the bus if I have to." She wrapped her arms around herself, as if that would help keep out the chill. Maybe she should have brought a hat and gloves. The rest of the trek was fairly subdued, everybody keeping their faces turned down so that they could avoid the blowing snow, made conversation difficult.

"There you all are!" said Lida, when they all burst through the door. She emerged into the hall, dressed in blue polka dotted flannel pajamas, damp hair, and gold-rimmed glasses in lieu of her daytime contacts.

Red tousled her hair to shake out all the snowflakes, before reaching down to unlace her boots. "Yuri, if you'll carry Alexei upstairs, I can get him ready for bed," she said, as she began unfastening the buttons of her coat.

"Sure, Ma," said Yuri, kicking off his shoes. He climbed up the stairs with his nephew over his shoulder, and Red followed behind. She was eager to have a task that would take her away from Gloria's kids for a few minutes.

"Lida, Julio and Benny are going to stay with us tonight," said Vasily, "it's really storming out there, and their Tia Lourdes got stranded at work."

"We're happy to have you," Lida said to them warmly, "I made hot chocolate, if you want something to warm you up." She held up the mug she was holding that overflowed with a generous heaping of whipped cream.

"Uh, sure," shrugged the brothers together, as they walked into the living room and sat down on the couch. Lida went into the kitchen to get them each a mug of hot chocolate, and put them on the coffee table in front of the boys.

"Vasily, can you get the couch made up for them?" Lida asked her husband, walking up behind him and wrapping her arms around him in an affectionate hug.

"No, problem," Vasily turned to kiss her forehead, "you go get some sleep."

"I don't know where we can put your brother," Lida mused.

"I'll toss him a sleeping bag," Vasily grinned, "but Ma will probably just let him sleep with her."

"She won't mind?"

"Nah," Vasily shook his head, "She let it slip one time to me that she let Nicky sleep on a single man cot with her almost every night for a year. I don't think she'll oppose to sharing a big bed with her first born."

"Wait, why would she let Nicky do that?" asked Lida in confusion. Lida had never met Nicky, but she knew quite a bit about her from Vasily. She knew Nicky was in prison for some sort of drug crimes, that Red had helped her get clean, and then more-or-less adopted her. Yuri, Maxim, and Vasily had even referred to her as their sister for awhile now, because Red had drilled it in to them that that was exactly what Nicky was going to be. Lida was curious to eventually meet the girl, that her mother-in-law was so clearly in love with. She had heard Red crying in her room more than once in the past week, after speaking with Nicky on the phone. The situation was a curious one to Lida, but not one she would ever judge. Lida had been orphaned from a young age, and she knew quite a bit about what it was like to hope for a mother to show up and love you. Nicky was luckier than most, in that regard.

"I don't know," Vasily shrugged, "Nicky just wanted to, and Ma likes to take care of people."

"That's nice," said Lida, leaning up to kiss her husband's lips, "I'm going to go to bed now. I'm so tired."

Lida padded down the hallway and up the stairs, right at the same time Red was going back down. "Going up to bed?" asked Red, as she stopped on the same step as Lida, her arm resting on the rail.

"Yeah, I'm tired," Lida grinned sheepishly.

"That's good, you need your sleep," Red said, "it's not easy being a mother of two babies."

"A lot easier now that you're here," Lida replied with a smile. "Thanks so much for taking Alexei with you today, Ma. It was nice to get some time to myself, and I know he's going to be talking about all the fun he had non-stop tomorrow."

"I loved having him," said Red truthfully, and Lida leaned over and kissed her cheek.

"Well, I really appreciate everything you've done for me," said Lida quietly, resting her chin against Red's shoulder for a brief moment, before straightening back up, "good night." She flashed Red a warm smile, before continuing up the stairs to her bed. Red couldn't help thinking how positively lucky Vasily had been to land such a special girl; she hoped Yuri and Maxim would be as fortunate.

Red walked down the stairs and into the kitchen with plans to make herself a cup of tea before falling asleep. She selected a teabag from the shelf, and carefully poured hot water over it from the kettle that Lida had set to make hot chocolate. Red needed something to help her sleep, she wanted to be rested for Gloria and Nicky tomorrow. She couldn't believe it had been almost a week since she saw them. It felt so much longer. The snow was still coming down outside, but it didn't really matter, nothing was going to stop Red from being at the prison tomorrow.

"Oh, sorry," muttered a voice behind her, and Red turned to see Benny hovering awkwardly in the kitchen doorway.

"That's okay, come in," said Red evenly. She went to the fridge to grab the milk, and watched Benny slouch to the table and sit down out of the corner of her eye. Red added a splash of milk to her black tea, and stirred the mug with her back to him. "Do you want a drink or something to eat?" she asked slowly, leaning against the counter and taking a sip of her tea. She didn't want to admit it to herself, but she was too afraid to sit down at the table across from Benny, it would feel too direct.

"Uhhh, sure, I'm hungry," Benny admitted awkwardly, "I forgot to have supper. I just ate an O'Henry bar before the game tonight."

Red pushed her tongue up to the roof of her mouth and placed her tea cup on the kitchen counter. "You must be starving. What do you feel like?" she asked.

"Anything," shrugged Benny.

"I could make you a sandwich," Red suggested, "what kind do you like?"

"Uh, grilled cheese?" said Benny awkwardly, "it's what I probably would have made myself at home tonight."

"Grilled cheese it is," Red said, opening up the fridge, "would your brother like one too? Can you ask him for me?"

"Sure," said Benny, standing up, and hurrying out of the kitchen to call to his brother. "He said he'd like one, and so would Yuri, and Vasily" he told her, walking back into the kitchen and taking his same seat at the table.

"Do you want white bread or brown bread?" Red asked him.

"White, thanks Mrs. Reznikov," Benny replied.

Red got out the frying pan and began buttering the bread for the sandwiches. "You know, you don't need to call me that," Red told him as she stood in front of the stove, her hand resting on the handle of the frying pan, while the other held a flipper at the ready. "My husband I divorced a couple years before he died, so I'm not technically a missus anymore anyways, and my last name just reminds me of being ordered around in prison. You can call me Red, or Galina; Galina's my real name."

"They called you Reznikov? Didn't everyone call you Red in prison?" asked Benny, curiously.

"Most did, except some guards when they wanted to really bark at me," answered Red, "people tend to go by their last names in prison."

"So, everyone just calls mom "Mendoza"?" asked Benny, "that's weird."

"I always call her Gloria," answered Red, "but we're good friends. The guards always would say Mendoza though. I guess it's easier to keep track of us that way."

"Prison's like a different world," said Benny, "it's always pretty strange to see my mom there."

"I guess it would be," Red said quietly, "not to mention a little scary, probably," she put the first sandwich onto a plate and brought it over to Benny. "Do you want milk or something to drink?"

"Milk please," said Benny, "thanks. This is really good, by the way. My mom always used to burn them," Red took a glass from the cabinet, and smirked at the mention of Gloria's failed attempts at grilled cheese. "So how exactly is my mom?" Benny asked her cautiously, "For real? You seem okay, I mean you're out now I guess, though."

"Your mother is fine," Red said reassuringly, pouring milk into the glass and handing it to him. "I mean it. She really is okay. It's not fun being in there, and she's counting the minutes until she gets home to you boys, but it's not as scary a place as you'd think a prison would be. We have friends, we take care of each other, we work in the kitchen together; the hardest part of it is being away from your family. But I guess that goes both ways, huh?"

"Uh huh," said Benny quietly, trying so hard to seem indifferent, though it was obvious how much he missed Gloria.

"Are you excited to see your mom tomorrow?" Red asked him, using the spatula to slide the sandwiches on plates for the boys in the living room.

"I guess," shrugged Benny, "I just saw her two weeks ago. That's not that long. When she first got there, I didn't get to see her for over a year." His mouth had food in it as he spoke, but Red did not reprimand him like she would one of her own kids, she was just happy that he was talking to her."

"Make sure you tell her about winning your basketball game," Red told him, "I know she's going to be so proud of you."

"Really?" said Benny skeptically, wiping his mouth with his hand.

"Of course," said Red, "she's told me before what a good athlete you are." She flipped the sandwiches over while her lip twitched anxiously; she could tell that she had entered into the murky waters of resentment.

"Like she would know," said Benny bitterly. Red decided not to respond to that. She longed to defend Gloria to her child, remind Benny about how hard his mom had always worked, but she knew it would fall on deaf ears. Such deep rooted resentment could only be fixed by Gloria getting out and giving her children the time and attention they desperately needed from her. Red wanted to curse the justice system that took mothers from their children, condemned good people, like Gloria, who had just been struggling to survive, and who broke the law because they saw no better option. Gloria should be here right now, tears prickled in Red's eyes. She should have been the one making a grilled cheese sandwich for her son, even if it would turn out a little bit burnt. It wasn't fair. So much had been taken from them.

"Well, I know she is looking forward to us coming there to see her tomorrow. She's very proud of you and Julio. I'm going to go give these to your brother, Vasily, and Yuri," Red told Benny quietly, motioning to the plate in her hands, "and then I'm going to go to sleep. Would you like me to get you anything else first?"

"No, thanks," Benny shook his head quietly. "Thanks for feeding me. I was really hungry."

"I would be too, if I didn't have any supper," answered Red, a slight edge in her voice. "Good night, Benny."

"Goodnight, Galina," said Benny politely.

Red dropped off the sandwiches to the group in the living room and bade them all goodnight. She was eager to get to sleep so that morning would arrive and she would be on her way to see Nicky and Gloria. As she pulled back the covers of her bed and slid in, Red wondered if they were lying awake thinking about her too. Red had spoken to them everyday on the phone, and they both assured her that they were fine, but Red wouldn't believe it until she saw them; Nicky had been a little too cheerful the last time they had spoken. Red could hardly wait to hold her little girl in her arms again, but she was already mentally preparing herself for the anguish of having to leave her there again to go home. Red rolled onto her side, and hugged her covers to her, imagining that their warmth was Gloria and Nicky both holding her the way they had on her last night in the prison. Red shut her eyes, and burrowed deeper into the blankets. Tomorrow she would use more self-control than she had thought possible, when she platonically greeted Gloria in front of their children; Tomorrow, Nicky would get her mommy back for a little bit; Tomorrow could not get here fast enough.


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning Red found herself in the passenger seat of Maxim's blue Saturn, on her way to visit Nicky and Gloria in prison. She sat slumped in the car, her chin resting in her hand as she stared out the window. She wore black leggings under a charcoal gray sweater dress, with her black boots, and burgundy jacket unbuttoned. She wanted to look nice, but also simple enough that she wouldn't feel too different from Nicky and Gloria in their beige prison scrubs. For the two hours they were together today, Red needed to feel some normalcy.

"You're awfully quiet, Ma," Maxim commented in an attempt to break the silence. She was not the only one though; nobody had said a word since they'd left the house that morning. Julio and Benny, were in terrible moods because they had been woken up and told they needed to leave for the prison an hour earlier than they normally would have. The roads had been plowed but were still icy, and Maxim was cautiously driving much lower than the posted speed limit to compensate for that.

"It's pretty early, I'm tired," said Red, continuing to stare out the window. Maxim didn't press the subject. Red had woken up extra early that morning, unable to sleep another wink because she was too excited to leave. Vera had woken up a little bit after her, and after Lida had finished nursing her, Red had insisted her daughter-in-law go back to sleep. Red couldn't sleep anyways, and keeping the baby busy had helped pass the time before it was time to go. Red wished she was going to the prison herself, and could have this time with Nicky and Gloria alone, but she was grateful to be seeing them at all. She didn't speak a word for the rest of the trip, though nobody else did either. Red couldn't focus on anything or anybody enough, besides the two women she was driving to see, to engage in a conversation with Maxim. She preferred to be lost in her own thoughts, completely fixated on them. Today was their day.

"There it is," Red muttered, as Maxim made a left turn, and the Litchfield Correctional Facility came into view, though at a distance. They drove down the quiet road, that was encased between a parking lot, and the barbed wire fence of the Maximum-Security Facility. As happy as she was to be there today, Red suddenly felt like an icy cold hand had wrapped around her throat, constricting her breathing. She was remembering what it had been like to surrender herself to this place; the expensive lawyers the mafia had hired had actually been able to get her granted a self-surrender that had at least permitted her to say goodbye to her children and walk out of their family home without shackles and chains. Self-surrender was considered a merciful act by the justice system, but mercy was the last thing Red had felt as Dmitri drove the car as slowly as possible up this road, and Red had willingly stepped into the building that would lock behind her, stripping her of everything she had ever held dear. Dmitri, the blubbering idiot, could not stop crying and could not stop apologizing to her the entire way. He had been just as responsible as Red for the mess they had found themselves in with the mob; but Red had taken the fall for both of them because she knew there was no hope of saving herself, and she needed Dmitri free to look after their young teenaged sons. The barbed wire fence had petrified her then, and it still unnerved her to see it now. As Maxim pulled into a parking space outside the minimum-security building, and Red stepped out of the car, she couldn't shake the irrational fear that if she walked in there again, they weren't going to let her leave. Just like last time.

"Are you sure that you're going to be okay, mama?" asked Maxim, walking around the car to stand beside her, as Red looked up at the signage on the building, her eyes alive with fright. "Maybe it was a mistake to come back here so soon? Nicky would understand."

Red looked over at Maxim as if he had said something completely idiotic, "I have to see her," she told him in a tone that suggested that she thought him very slow, "I'll be fine. Feel free to wait in the car if you think it will be too much for _you_."

"Okay, I'm sorry," said Maxim, with a smile and a shake of his head. "Ready boys."

"I guess," said Julio. He and Benny had been leaning against the car observing the intense exchange between mother and son. They acted like being there had no affect on them, though it must be unnerving to see your mother living behind these walls and fences. As indifferent as they chose to act, it was obvious that they wanted to be there visiting their mother, or they would have begun coming up with lame excuses to avoid coming, and they never did. They'd never admit it, but these visits meant as much to them as they did to Gloria.

Walking into the building, Red saw that there was already a line up of people hoping to get in to see somebody. Officer Bailey was running a metal detector, while Humps took people's ID from them. Red's heart starting beating faster when she saw them. She knew they would recognize her, would they acknowledge her? Red knew everything was in order for her to visit, her ID was clutched in her sweaty hand, and she had been added to Gloria and Nicky's approved visitation lists the same day she was released. Both Gloria and Nicky had submitted her name immediately, and it was through Healy's good grace's that Red was able to be there that same week, usually it took much longer. Even though she had snapped at him just moments before, for pointing out her obvious insecurity, Red couldn't help leaning against Maxim in such a way that her shoulder and hip were pressed against his side. She needed the support.

Humps finished processing the person in front of her, and then motioned Red forward. His face lit up with recognition when he saw who it was. Maxim squeezed his mother's shoulder before she walked ahead to stand in front of Humps. "Reznikov…. welcome back," sneered Humps, "did you miss us that badly?" He chuckled as if it was the funniest joke in the world, as he took her ID and matched it up to Nicky and Gloria's approved visitation lists.

"I'm not here to see you," Red told him coldly, when he passed her ID back to her. She moved over to Bailey who motioned for her to stretch out her hands, and spread her legs so that he could run the metal detector over her. No big deal, Red did as instructed. The wand never actually touched her, and after years of being patted down and strip searched at any moment, Red barely registered this. "Nice to see you again," Bailey told her with an awkward smile. Red nodded at him with a tight smile, and then moved to stand by the wall and wait for Maxim, Julio, and Benny to get through security. The hardest part was over, she was almost there.

"Ready?" Maxim asked her timidly when they had all been let through.

"Yes, I am," answered Red. Maxim put his hand on the back of her shoulder and they walked into the visitation room. The visitors were always allowed to get settled in first, before the inmates were brought through. The four of them took seats at a large table and waited for Gloria and Nicky to walk in.

"Wait, why are we sitting at the same table?" asked Benny in confusion.

"Because I'm here to see Gloria too," Red told them simply, "So we'll visit Nicky and your mom together at the same time."

"We don't even know who Nicky is," Julio pointed out, playing with the zipper on his hoodie.

"Well soon you will," Red told him distractedly, tapping her fingers against the table as she stared around the familiar room. It was hard not to feel like a prisoner again as she sat in here. This room had been her only connection to the outside world and the only place she got to see and hold her children for so many years, and now she was seeing it from the other side. Red crossed, and uncrossed her legs, smoothed her hair, and played with the fabric on the sleeve of her dress. She couldn't stop fidgeting; this wait was incredibly excruciating. Her pounding heart was hammering with more than just anxiety now though; Red felt it might explode with the elation she was experiencing. Soon, very soon, she would see them, and the everything would be worth it. Those two girls were worth the world to her.

"Nicky!" Red gasped, getting to her feet the moment her little girl emerged from the hallway. She opened her arms expectantly, as love and adoration shone in her bright blue eyes. A real smile erupted on Red's face, displaying all her teeth, and in that moment, she forgot that anybody else even existed, she only had eyes for Nicky.

"Ma," Nicky gave a little laugh as she walked over and into Red's waiting arms, "you're here!"

"Of course, I'm here," Red told her, powdering Nicky's face with kisses, all over the forehead, cheeks, lips, nose, and chin.

"Ah, yuck," Nicky laughed, "what are you doing to me? Do I have red lipstick all over my face now?" She rubbed at her face with my sleeve, keeping her brown eyes, crinkled from her smile, on her mother's face, as though worried she'd disappear if Nicky so much as blinked. "Ah, here!" Nicky smirked, leaning forward to kiss Red's forehead, cheeks, lips, nose, and chin. "Now we're even." Nicky told her.

Red hiccupped and cupped Nicky's face in her hands, as she did a once over on her with scrutinizing eyes. "Are you feeling alright, Nicky?" Red asked in concern, as she took in her daughter's flushed face and glazed eyes. Red frowned and pressed her head to Nicky's forehead, "you seem warm, honey."

"Just got here and you're already worried about me," Nicky smiled weakly, "I'm fine, mom. Just a little under the weather; nothing that could keep me from being here to see you today though." Nicky wrapped her arms around Red, and Red hugged her back tightly. It felt so good to have her baby in her arms again. She looked over Nicky's shoulder and saw Gloria, she hadn't noticed her until just then. Gloria's dark brown eyes were fixated on Red's face, as Benny shrugged away from the hug Gloria had forced upon him. At the sight of Gloria, Red gave a little involuntary purr that nobody, besides Nicky, could have caught. Nicky pressed her lips and nose against Red's cheek; she puckered out her lips to gently kiss the soft rosy skin, and then slipped out of her mother's embrace. "Hey, Max," Nicky said jovially to Maxim, as she scooted around Red to give her brother a hug and a kiss.

"Gloria," Red whispered, completely aware of all the eyes upon them, as she took a step forward and wrapped her arms around Gloria's neck. "Gloria…. Gloria…." she let out a small whimper.

"Shush," Gloria soothed, kissing Red's temple and smoothing her hair down. "I've missed you," she said evenly, "I'm happy to see you." Red wrapped her arms around Gloria tighter. She turned her face inwardly to Gloria's neck and inhaled the sweet scent of her. Gloria always smelled so good to Red, no matter what she had been doing. She didn't wear perfume or even use strongly scented soaps, but she had an appealing, indescribable scent that was all her own, and Red was addicted to it.

"I missed you," Red said, as her eyes shone with emotion that revealed much more then what was appropriate to say at the time. She reluctantly forced herself to release her hold on Gloria and step back. Gloria kept her eyes fixated on Red, as she pulled out a chair and took the seat next to Nicky. Red stepped around the table to sit beside Maxim, and across from Nicky. A table between them, dividing the prisoners from the free.

As soon as Red sat down, she stretched her hands across the table so she could hold Nicky's. Technically that wasn't allowed, but not all correctional officers enforced the "No Touching" rule and Red was hoping that would be the case today. She needed to hold some part of Nicky, and feel that connection. Red's eyes narrowed in concern as she took in Nicky's appearance; her hair was damp with sweat, her eyes were glossy, and her lips were dry. The little girl was clearly running a fever, and she looked completely exhausted. Any other time, Red would have forced Nicky back into bed until she was well; but if she did that now, then Red would miss her only chance to be with her. Filled with a desperate and selfish need to see and hear her daughter, Red chose to ignore how bad Nicky looked and cherish this time. Nicky could sleep when she left.

There was a sense of awkwardness in the air, as a quietness overtook the table, tainted by the words Gloria and Red had hanging on the tips of their tongues, but left unspoken. It was an odd sort of group. Two distinct families, each with a mother and two children, linked by a passionate love the moms intended to keep a secret. Julio and Benny weren't sure why they had to sit with the Reznikovs', and a girl they'd never met, when they had driven all that way to see their mom alone; and Maxim was perplexed at his mother's reaction when greeting Gloria, just how good of friends were they really? Nicky alone, seemed perfectly unsurprised by their grouping. She alone was privy to Red and Gloria's intention to merge their families and share their lives together, once prison sentences were nothing more than a distant memory. Nicky had always rolled her eyes at Red's insistence that nobody find out about the relationship, since her mother could seriously be the most dramatic person she knew. However, after getting a close up look at Julio and Benny Mendoza, Nicky understood that her mom and Gloria's worries about the kids not taking it well were not unfounded. Gloria's son Benny looked like he lived to make her life difficult, as he sat slouched in his chair with crossed arms, acting as if Red and Maxim had forced him to Litchfield at gunpoint. He sort of reminded Nicky of herself when out and about with Marka. Nicky had never claimed to be an easy child either.

"It feels weird to introduce myself to you, since I've seen you in this room so many times, and heard all about you from the boys and your mother, but it's nice to actually meet you, Maxim," Gloria said calmly and coolly, when Red failed to make introductions. She purposefully broke the silence that she was beginning to grow impatient with. She thought everybody was being ridiculous. Red was fidgeting around in her chair looking shifty and guilty, Benny was typically pouting, while Julio stared around the room in a daze, Nicky just looked like she wanted to go to sleep, and Maxim looked like he was hoping a trap door would open beneath his chair and whisk him away. It was only awkward because everyone was making it that way, and Gloria decided enough was enough.

"It's nice to officially meet you too," Maxim smiled, reaching across the table to briefly shake Gloria's hand. "Even though, I feel like I already know you since I know your sons so well."

"Well I'll never be able to put into words how entirely thankful I am to you and your brothers," said Gloria, she motioned to her sons, "you gave those boys back to me."

"I'm glad it all worked out," said Maxim with a sincere smile at Gloria. Nobody else at the table had uttered a word since they sat down. Red and Nicky were still holding hands across the table, but Nicky had since laid her head down on her arms, and Red was running her fingers through the girl's hair, concern etched into every line of her face.

"She's very warm," Red spoke up, turning to look at Gloria, "was she like this all morning?" She didn't mean for her tone to sound as accusatory as it did. She didn't blame Gloria for Nicky's illness.

"She didn't have breakfast or lunch," Gloria said with a glance at Nicky, "She slept straight through breakfast and I tried to get her to eat some lunch after, but she wasn't feeling it." Red squeezed the hand she still held in hers. Poor baby.

"I'm not that bad," Nicky insisted unconvincingly, in a weak voice; she could barely keep her eyes open, "I'll sleep for the rest of the day once you leave, but please don't make me go yet. Just, can you keep rubbing my head like you were? That feels really good." Red's hand instantly resumed its stroking, and Nicky gave made a little sound of contentment and shut her eyes.

"If she's not feeling better by tomorrow, I'll make her go see the nurse," Gloria told Red, with a knowing smile. Red knew she was overreacting about a case of the flu; but it was in her very nature to worry and coddle her children when they were sick. Secretly, she had almost enjoyed it when she had an excuse to keep the boys home from school and nurse them back to health. She'd make them soup, and let them stretch across her lap while she rubbed their back and watched television with them. It hurt that she was unable to do the same for Nicky now. Red just had two hours of stroking Nicky's hair, and then she'd have to walk away and wait a whole entire week to check on her again. That was an excruciating thing for a mother to have to do, and to do to Nicky especially, because Red's little girl didn't believe in getting sick; so, for her to admit it, Red knew Nicky must be feeling absolutely terrible.

Red returned Gloria's smile, she knew that Nicky would be fine with a stepmother like her to care for her. Gloria would probably even make Nicky soup, even if it was only a cup of chicken noodles, instead of Red's homemade recipe. Red cleared her throat, "Benny, you should tell your mom about your game yesterday."

"It was your first one of the season, right?" Gloria turned to Benny, "how did you do?" she pursed her lips as she waited to see whether or not her son was going to answer her. Red's eyes anxiously darted side to side, as her grip on Nicky's hand tightened considerably.

Benny continued to look down at his lap. "okay, I guess," he shrugged, "I got some baskets in, but I missed a lot of shots too."

"Well you're not going to get all of them," Gloria told him, "but that's great, baby. I'm proud of you. You've always been so good at sports."

Benny gave a sarcastic chuckle, "how would you know that, mom?", he asked, raising his head to give his mother a look of defiance. "You hardly ever came to my games, even when you weren't in prison." Gloria lifted her chin and raised her eyebrows, meeting Benny's glare with a stone-cold stare of her own. Gloria opened her mouth to reply, but shut it almost as quickly. Retaliating, was exactly what Benny was hoping for when he showed up in a mood like this. There was no reasoning with him, when he was especially hurting and felt she deserved punishing for how she had failed him. Some days he wanted her to love him, but today clearly was not going to be that day. It was best just to leave him to his broodiness and not antagonize him. Unfortunately, Red did not know this.

Red's eyes darted back and forth between Gloria and her son, as though watching a tennis match, while she chewed the inside of her lip anxiously. "Let's not make accusations about the past," Red told Benny tightly, "Your mom was there whenever she wasn't working to provide for you."

"How the f**k would you know?" Benny glared at Red, "you weren't there. You don't know my life." A hush came over the table. Even Nicky opened one eyelid to see what would happen next.

"Benny—," Gloria started, but Red cut her off.

"Watch your tone," Red said sternly to Benny, as Maxim groaned and looked up at the ceiling. "It's not easy to provide for a family by yourself," Red pressed on, as Benny huffed at her, "your mother worked hard and made a lot of sacrifices to support the family. That takes time away from doing the thing you'd rather be doing."

"You're forgetting the part about the hard work all just being a front for a life of crime. Isn't that right, mom?" Benny said spitefully, as he looked over at Gloria.

"That is enough," Red said slowly and threateningly.

"Mama," Maxim sighed, "let it go." He rubbed his hands over his face, and held his breath in anticipation for the onslaught, which surprisingly didn't come.

"Let's just enjoy the time we have here today," Red said quietly to Benny, as she recommenced the stroking of Nicky's curls, that she had abandoned during their exchange. Red didn't dare look over at Gloria. She was worried Gloria would be angry that she overstepped her boundaries with Benny. Red had only officially known him a day, but she had cared about him from afar for much longer, and she found it impossible to stay quiet when two people she cared about were hurting, and especially when one was in dire need of a good scolding. Red was excellent at scolding.

"What's to enjoy?" scoffed Benny, as he turned to face Red with daggers in his eyes, "after being dragged out in a blizzard, at the crack of dawn, to sit in a smelly old room, and make conversation about stuff that nobody really cares about." Julio looked over at his brother with a look of trepidation on his face. Red dared to sneak a peek at Gloria, who's features softened when their eyes met, but who nonetheless gave Red a noncommittal shake of the head, as if to say, "what were you thinking?". Red's cheeks burned.

"We weren't dragged out," Julio reminded him, "you told me last night you were excited to see mom and tell her about the game. His team won by the way, Mom," he turned to Gloria, "I mean, I didn't pay much attention to it, but I heard the coach call him his star player." He smiled affectionately at Gloria, who gave him a small smile in return. Julio always tried to make his mom happy. He rarely displayed any anger, instead exhibiting a chronic underlying sadness which was infinitely more tragic, in Gloria's mind.

"Your team won, Benny?" Gloria asked, attempting to steer him into a civil conversation, "that's fantastic. That's amazing the coach called you his star player." Benny just shrugged in reply. He clearly wasn't going to talk today. Maxim drummed his fingers on his thighs, and hoped the time would start passing a little more quickly. He didn't even see the point of being in there, with Nicky more or less asleep at the table. Without Nicky to talk to, he and his mother had no choice but to be spectators of the Mendoza family drama and he felt very uncomfortable with that. He was tempted to excuse himself, so that he could retrieve his phone and text for the next hour in the parking lot, but he didn't exactly trust his mother to not piss everybody off even more if he left her with them unsupervised, and he knew there was no chance of getting her to leave Nicky before she had to.

"I'll be at your next game, bud," Maxim told Benny smoothly, as if he was completely unaffected by the tension, "I had to work last night so I couldn't be there."

"What sort of work do you do?" asked Gloria. She knew from Red that he was a baker, but he didn't have to know that Red had already told her that; Gloria was running out of things to say, and she was worried if she didn't fill the silence quickly enough, Red would start talking to Benny again.

"I'm a baker," Maxim told her, "so I start working early, at five, and go until around two. But I also have a…. I have a friend, and we've been getting hired to do catering for different events. We talk about someday expanding it down the road. It would be nice to work for myself."

"Except that's a very hard thing to do," Red said knowingly, thinking of her store that Dmitri had been unable to keep going without her, and of how he had coached the children to lie to her about it, because he was too much of a coward to tell her the truth. The thought of it still made her angry, and Dmitri had been dead for over two years now.

"Well, you've got your mother's talents," Gloria said to Maxim kindly, "And it seems like you have a good eye for business too. I'll bet you'll do great."

"Thanks, Gloria," smiled Maxim gently.

"Hey, mom," Benny spoke up and they all turned to stare at him, "I'm not feeling very good. I think I might have caught whatever that sick contagious girl has," he motioned to Nicky, "I think I should go out to the car and lay down."

"Benny…." Gloria sighed, "why do you have to…"

"Seriously mom, I think I might puke or something if I don't get some fresh air soon," Benny told her, "do you really want to do that in here?"

"Go," Gloria gave in, thrusting her hands up in exasperation, "I'll call you later tonight, maybe you'll want to talk to me then."

"I might go to bed for the rest of the day," Benny told her, "maybe wait to call until tomorrow."

"Fine," Gloria relented, "I hope you feel better," she said it in a tone that stressed that she didn't believe his sick act for a minute." She stood up at the same time as Benny, "Will you at least give me a hug before you go?" Benny glowered, but it relieved Red to see that he did approach his mother and give her a quick and stiff hug.

"I think," Maxim said, seizing his opportunity to escape, "that I'll go outside with him and make sure he's alright. You all enjoy your visit though. Nicky, feel better sweetie," he tousled the back of her hair that was out of Red's reach.

"Thanks," grumbled Nicky, looking up at him with a wry smile, "sorry for being such a p**sy about all of this."

"Don't be ridiculous," Maxim guffawed, "you're sick. It will still nice to see you." He walked around the table to give his sister a kiss on the top of the head, as was allowed when you were arriving and leaving. "And nice to meet you too, Gloria," he smiled at her warmly, "I'll see you next time." He waved at the group, and walked out of visitation, leaving Red and Julio alone to visit.

"Mom, Benny is just…." Julio began hesitantly, but Gloria held up a hand to stop him.

"Let's not worry about Benny right now," Gloria told him, "he needs time to pout, and maybe things will go better next time he's here. Let's talk about you, huh? So, it snowed pretty hard last night, that must have been sort of exciting."

"We got snowed in at Vasily's," Julio told her, "Well, not snowed in exactly, but the roads were all covered, and Tia Lourdes got held up at work, so Mrs. Reznikov told us to come stay there for the night."

"Well I'm very glad Mrs. Reznikov suggested that," Gloria replied, placing emphasis on the "Mrs.", as she gave Red a coy smile.

"I told your brother last night, you don't need to call me Mrs. Reznikov," Red told Julio, "I'm not married anymore anyways. You can call me Galina or Red."

"Oh, Galina's an option? I thought I was the only one who got to call you that," Gloria couldn't help giving her a flirtatious wink.

"I was at the bank and the post office, the other day, and they called me Galina, and it felt nice to hear after so long," Red admitted. She felt Nicky's forehead again and frowned. "Gloria, she's scalding," Red said nervously, "before she just felt a little warm, but she's too hot to touch right now." She sucked her teeth, and shook Nicky awake a little roughly.

"Hmm?" Nicky grunted, raising her head off the table, "what?"

"Honey, I need you to go take a shower and cool yourself down," Red told her, "you're burning up. And then go see the nurse about something for your fever. If he's not there, go see Mr. Healy and he'll take care of you."

Nicky was too sick to protest, so she staggered to her feet, and Red instantly jumped up and ran around the table to wrap Nicky in her arms. "I wish you could come with me," Nicky whimpered.

"I know " Red squeezed her, "I'm sorry I can't. But Gloria will call me tonight and let me know how you're doing. We can talking tomorrow when you're feeling a little better."

"Okay," Nicky said weakly.

"I love you, honey," Red watched her head back into the prison with wide eyes. She was horrified that she had just sent her daughter away, when she needed her mother to take care of her; not that Red had any choice in the matter.

"Do you want me to go with her?" Gloria asked Red reluctantly, "I will."

"Maybe in a few minutes," Red said uncertainly, "just to make sure she actually did what I said and got her medicine. Maybe she should go straight to medical."

"She doesn't need medical for the flu," Gloria reassured Red. "And it's been going around the prison like crazy. What else would you expect at this time of year though? Vause has been sick all week; she even called Piper and told her not to come visit this weekend because of it. Haven't you noticed that the visiting room is only half as full as it normally would be? Everyone is sick in their beds."

"Just promise you'll go check on her, as soon as I leave?" Red asked, "I know I'm overprotective, but I can't help worrying."

"I know you can't," Gloria told her tenderly, "and I promise."

Red and Gloria chatted with Julio after that. It was driving Red insane to not be with Nicky; preparing her medicine, helping her shower, tucking her into bed, but it couldn't be helped. At least Gloria would be there, although she did live in a separate dorm and couldn't be with Nicky through the night. Red just kept reminding herself that Nicky was fine. She was a smart, capable, grown woman who could look after herself, Red just never liked making her.

A few minutes later, Julio announced he had to go to the washroom. Visiting hours were almost over, the guard had just called out the ten-minute warning. Gloria stood up, hugged and kissed him goodbye, and he told her that he'd see her next week. Julio walked out to join his brother and Maxim, but Red stayed behind at the table.

"Alone at last," Red said quietly, with a twinkle in her eye.

"Oh, are you staying?" Gloria teased. She sat back down, and placed her face in her hands, "that was a f**king disaster," she grumbled, as she rubbed her hands up her face and through her hair.

"It wasn't that bad," Red shrugged.

"Are you kidding me?" Gloria sighed, "Benny was so angry."

"Isn't he always angry?" Red asked, stretching her hands across the table, palms up.

"Well, not as angry as he was when you told him off," Gloria said pointedly, as she intertwined her fingers with Red's.

"I just couldn't sit there and not say anything," Red said defensively, her accent thickening as it tended to do when she was feeling insecure.

"I know you can't," Gloria laughed, "it's okay. I'd expect nothing less from you. Apparently, neither did Maxim. He looked like he was just bracing for you to speak your mind from the second you got here, and eventually you did."

"I'm not sorry," Red shrugged, "it needed to be said."

Gloria squeezed Red's hands affectionately. "So, tell me about your week! Is everything really going okay? It sounds like it is."

"It's good," Red admitted, "hard being out there without you and Nicky, but honestly it's a bit easier than I expected. And I have the boys, and Lida, and the babies. There's so much to do and so much opportunity, that I can find a million different ways to distract myself. Time is flying."

"That's good," said Gloria quietly, "I'm so happy for you, Red."

"Soon you'll be happy for us," Red told her meaningfully, "I go to bed every night imagining the life we're going to have soon."

"It will be great," Gloria said quietly.

"I told you about Yuri and Anna splitting?" Red said bitterly.

"Only every time we've spoken this week," Gloria told her with a smile, "I mean, you kept switching over to Russian, like you do when you're really mad, which by the way is terrifying, but you said enough in English for me to get the idea."

"I haven't even met my oldest grandchildren yet. She won't let Yuri take the kids," Red glowered.

"Well that will get settled in court," Gloria reminded her, "I'm sure you'll meet them soon."

"Alright everyone, visitation has ended," announced the guard, "visitors say goodbye and please proceed to the exit."

"Gloria," Red bit her lip.

"Come here, quick," Gloria stood up and motioned Red toward her. Red walked around the table and the two women embraced. "The only good thing about all our children running away is that now I get to do this," Gloria whispered, cupping Red's face and kissing her lips softly. Red opened her mouth, and Gloria slipped her tongue in. They teased and tugged, and Gloria loved that she could feel Red smiling.

"I love you," Red told her, when Gloria reluctantly pulled away, but still kept a grip on Red's chin.

"I love you too," Gloria replied. "You look beautiful in that dress by the way."

"You look beautiful in everything," Red told her, tilting her head up to kiss Gloria's lips again. "I'll see you next week. Please check in on Nicky right away. Make sure she took her medicine, and if her fever doesn't drop soon, make her go to medical."

"I know," said Gloria.

The guard was beginning to walk towards them, almost all the other visitors had left by then. Red started slowly walking towards the exit.

"And call me, no matter what, and let me know how she is," Red pleaded, spinning back around.

"I know," said Gloria.

"Bye," Red said sadly, turning around for a last time when she reached the exit.

"Bye," said Gloria. And then Red was gone.


	6. Chapter 6

Red walked into her bedroom and shut the door firmly behind her, still grateful that she now had the privilege of doing that. She was dressed in her gray silk pajamas, her damp hair was wrapped up in a towel, and her bare feet, with toenails polished red, padded across the hardwood floor of the small room, as she instantly made a move for the cell phone she had left on her bedside table while she showered. No missed calls, no voicemail messages. Red tossed the phone onto the bed in frustration, and laid down beside it in defeat. Running her hands over her face, as her mind whirled with anxious and terrifying thoughts. She wanted to convince herself that things were fine, but she couldn't ignore the queasy feeling in the pit of her stomach that told her that something was wrong. Call it mother's intuition.

Gloria had never called, even though she had promised Red that she would. It was driving Red crazy to be without news on Nicky and how she was feeling. The hopeful side of her wanted to believe that Gloria was just completely focused on taking good care of Nicky and consequently had accidently missed the small window of time that she was permitted to use the phone. However, that would be very atypical behaviour from Gloria. She knew how Red would be driving herself into a frenzy without news on her baby girl, and she wouldn't do that to her. Gloria was nothing if not reliable. So why the f**k hadn't she called?

Red heard the door to her room creek open without so much as a know, and she removed her hands from her eyes, and did a crunch, with her elbows pushing her up off of her back, "Alexei," she sighed at the sight of two large brown eyes staring around the door at her, "what are you doing? You're supposed to be asleep." She motioned for him to come into the room, which he did immediately, jumping into his Grandmother's waiting arms. "Can you not sleep?" she asked him, kissing the top of his head.

Alexei shook his head no, and wrapped his arms and legs around her torso, so that he was sitting on Red's lap like a little monkey. "I can't sleep either," Red confessed to the toddler. "Do you want to keep me company for a little bit?" Alexei nodded with a slight giggle, and Red lay back down with her head on the pillow. She placed her hands on Alexei's hips, to ensure that the little boy wouldn't fall from his perch on top of her.

"Read me a story?" Alexei asked her, sticking three fingers inside Red's mouth.

Red playfully nibbled his fingers, before reaching to pull his hand away from her mouth. "I can't read you a story because all your books are in your room and we don't want to wake Vera, right?" She smiled, and entwined the fingers of both her hands, with that of her grandson. "But do you want to hear a true story?" she asked. Alexei nodded enthusiastically. "It's about your Aunt Nicky. Did you know you have an Auntie named Nicky?" Alexei shook his head no, and Red sighed.

"Well you do," Red told him, "Grandma had Uncle Yuri, Uncle Maxim, then your daddy, and then Aunt Nicky. Auntie lives pretty far away right now and Grandma misses her very much. You know how you miss your mommy when she has to go to work because you wish she could just stay with you?" Alexei nodded, "well it's sort of like that. But someday Auntie will get to come home, and then Grandma is going to be very happy. And we're all going to have so much fun together. Auntie will play with you, and tell you funny jokes, and we'll go to all sorts of fun places together."

"When does Auntie come here?" Alexei asked.

"Well…" Red considered, "first the snow has to melt, and it needs to get really hot and sunny, then it will start to get colder and we're going to have your birthday party. And guess what? Soon after than Grandma is going to go get Auntie, just in time for Christmas!"

"That's far," Alexei told her, "Santa was just here. We have to wait a long time!"

"Well we're going to stay busy, and time will go very fast," Red told him, willing that to be true. Time moved a lot faster out here then it did in prison, but December seemed very far away, when January was only just ending. "But you know what you need to do right now?" Red asked him, sitting back up, "you need to go to sleep." Alexei shook his head and pouted out his lower lip, reminding Red quite a bit of Nicky on her bratty little girl days. "None of that now," Red said firmly, gently bumping his lip with her hand, "let's go to your room, and I'll tuck you in." Red swung her legs over the side of the bed, and slid Alexei off her lap so that she could stand. She took him by the hand, and walked him across the hall to the bedroom that he shared with his little sister. Red placed her finger to her lips in a silent reminder for Alexei to be quiet, and then she walked into the dark room and laid Alexei in his bed, pulling the covers up tightly around him. "Goodnight, sweetheart," she smoothed back his dark brown hair.

"Night, Grandma," Alexei yawned. Red straightened up, and walked over to look down into the crib at the sleeping baby. Vera looked like a little angel, in her white fleece sleeper. And Red watched the baby sleep for a few minutes, paying attention to the way her little chest moved up and down. Vera was absolute perfection, as she slept with the most peaceful expression upon her face. Red loved to watch Nicky sleep too, but she had never had the opportunity to see Nicky look so untroubled and innocent. But Red had met her daughter in prison, hardly a place that invoked peaceful dreaming. Even at rest, Nicky's face could often betray a flicker of a frown, and she kept with her hands balled into fists; except when she slept with Red and opted to grip her mother's clothing instead. Red wondered if once she brought Nicky home, once she got them a home, if Nicky would be able to relax enough to look as tranquil as this innocent baby. Red hoped so.

Red turned to walk back out of the nursery, and let out a low shriek when she almost stepped on Alexei, who had been standing directly behind her. "Alexei," Red hissed in a whisper, "what are you doing out of bed?"

"I don't want my bed," Alexei said, much too loudly, and Red gripped his shoulder and directed him out of the room before he disturbed Vera.

"You can't be so loud in there," Red scolded him, "you'll wake your sister."

"Grandma, I want your bed," Alexei protested, ignoring her scolding, as he hopped on one foot as evidence of the hyperactivity that could always be counted upon to emerge when a toddler became overtired.

"Do you promise to sleep if I let you?" Red asked him, her exasperation apparent through her tone.

"Yes!" said Alexei excitedly.

"Then get in," Red sighed, "but no noise. I don't want to hear a sound." Alexei hopped into the bed, and Red covered him with the covers. Red, out of habit, checked her cell phone again, although she knew it was useless. It was nine o'clock at night, and Gloria had no way of calling her. She had missed the after-dinner phone time, and Red would have to sit through an agonizing night before Gloria could phone with news. Red walked to the window and stared out at the city lights. She hoped Nicky was able to sleep tonight, but Red couldn't stop worrying that Nicky might be feeling even worse by this point. When Red's legs tired, she sat on the edge of the bed and continued to stare out at the night. She couldn't shake the feeling that she had been mistaken in assuming Nicky had the flu, and maybe she should have been more adamant about Nicky seeking medical care. It was going to be a long night.

 _Ring Ring_

"Urgh," Red grumbled. She opened her eyes. She was lying horizontally across the foot of the bed, she must have passed out there at some point, she didn't remember. All Red could recall was sitting and waiting for daylight, and hoping it would bring her good news about Nicky. But a phone ringing in the middle of the night was almost never a good thing. "Hello?" she croaked into the phone.

"Galina?" spoke a familiar, deep, masculine voice.

"Healy?" Red asked in bleary confusion, pulling herself into a sitting position, "what time is it?"

"It's almost five," Healy replied, "I'm sorry to phone you so early. Caputo got called to the prison about a medical emergency, and then he called me at home since he was having trouble finding her emergency contact information"

"What are you talking about? What emergency?" asked Red in alarm, springing to her feet, fully awake now, with a pounding heart.

There was a pause on the other end. "It's Nicky," Healy said finally, "she's been transferred to the hospital to have an appendectomy."

"A what?" Red asked sharply.

"Apparently, she was feeling very sick yesterday evening, and they finally let her go up to medical sometime after midnight. The nurse practitioner that examined her called for an ambulance immediately," replied Healy. He hesitated, "but he thinks that her appendix may have already ruptured by that point."

"Who's with her?" Red demanded, her voice high and frantic.

"Two guards escorted her in the ambulance, and I'm on my way there now," answered Healy, "I wanted to phone you first."

"I need to get there," Red said into the phone, her panic was clear, as she rushed out of her room and down the staircase.

"Do you have a ride?" Healy asked, his voice laced with compassion and concern, it was almost as if their fall out had never happened. "I could come get you if you don't."

"No, I do," said Red distractedly, as she hurried into the living room and her eyes fell upon the sleeping Yuri on the couch, snoring loudly. "My son will drive me. I'll be there soon."

"Well, I'll be there when you get there," said Healy, "And try not to worry, Nicky is in good hands. She's probably being wheeled into surgery right now."

"In such good hands that they only allowed her medical care once her appendix had ruptured and her life was at risk," Red spat into the phone, her eyes wild. How much had Nicky been suffering last night, without her mother to make sure she was receiving the care she needed.

"She'll be okay," Healy told her, "you'll be here soon. Call me back at this number if you need anything, okay?"

Red disconnected the call without saying goodbye. She hurried over to Yuri on the couch and began to roughly shake him. "Yuri, wake up. Wake the f**k up! We need to go to the hospital."

"Mmmm," Yuri groaned, and rolled onto his side, facing the inside of the couch.

"Wake up," Red hissed, pinching him.

"What the f**k, Ma!" Yuri exclaimed angrily, sitting up.

"Get dressed," Red told him tight voice, "we need to go to the hospital."

"Are you okay?" Yuri asked.

"Nicky is having emergency surgery, she's at the hospital in Litchfield," Red said hysterically to him as she walked out of the living room and down the hall. Yuri continued to sit on the couch trying to wake up and comprehend what his mother had just told him.

"Why the hell are you still sitting there!" Red exclaimed, as she walked back into the living room with her coat thrown over her pajamas, boots in her hand. She dropped the boots, and grabbed the blue jeans that Yuri had tossed onto the arm chair before falling asleep last night. "Here, put these on," she threw the jeans roughly at her son.

"What the hell is going on?" Yuri asked, as he obediently pulled his jeans over his boxers. "You're not making any sense."

"What the hell is going on down here? Are you two trying to have a contest to see who can wake up the kids fastest?" demanded Vasily, as he walked into the room, Lida at his heels.

"Is everything okay?" Lida asked in concern, eyeing the mother and son.

"No, it's not okay!" Red said in frantic fury, "Nicky is in the hospital with a ruptured appendix!"

"Okay," Lida nodded, her eyes wide with concern, "so Yuri, you're going to drive your mother to the hospital?"

"I guess," Yuri nodded, "I'm just trying to wake up first."

"Okay," Lida nodded rationally, she turned to Red, "Let me go find you something to change into first," she told her, "you can't go to the hospital dressed like that."

"There's no time," Red snapped at her daughter-in-law, "They've already taken her into surgery, I need to get there before she gets out."

"I understand," said Lida, "but Litchfield is over an hour away. You're probably not going to make it in time for that anyway."

"All the more reason to not waste anymore time," snapped Red, grabbing one of the boots she had dropped on the floor, and attempting to stuff her foot into it.

"Those aren't even your boots," Lida pointed out, "they're mine. Just hold tight for a sec! I'll get your stuff. I'll be quick." She flashed her husband a concerned look as she bolted out of the room. Red threw the boot back on the floor and began pacing back and forth like a caged lion.

"I'll go warm up the car," Yuri said to his mother, squeezing her shoulder as he passed by. Vasily wandered into the kitchen. A moment later, Lida hurried back into the living room holding socks, undergarments, gray sweatpants, and a long black cable knit sweater.

"Put these on," Lida told Red firmly, helping her slip off the coat Red had thrown over her pajamas. "I'll go get your boots." She rested the coat on the chair, and hurried down the hall. Red did as her daughter-in-law said. Stripping her pajamas off in the middle of the living room without care. "Got them," said Lida, as she walked back into the room and placed the boots on the chair next to Red's coat.

"Have you ever known anybody who needed their appendix removed?" Red asked her quietly, as she finished dressing, and began to pull on the coat and boots.

"It happened to a kid in my class when we were twelve," Lida replied, "it's pretty scary stuff, but so long as it's removed in time, it's fine."

"Nicky's ruptured," said Red, with tear filled eyes as she walked towards the door.

"I know," said Lida quietly, "that's worse for sure. But she's at the hospital now, and she'll be okay." She walked beside her mother-in-law to the door. "Here's your purse," Lida told her, picking the bag up off the stairs and handing it to Red. "I put the charger for your phone in it. Don't let it die, so you can reach us at anytime."

"Here, Mama," said Vasily, coming down the hall holding a bottle of water and a small zip lock bag of crackers and granola bars." He placed it in her purse.

Yuri hurried back up the porch steps. "The car's ready, mama," he said, "let's go see, Nicky."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Yuri and Red parked the car and then hurried through the parking lot to the entrance of the hospital. Red had wanted Yuri to drop her off at the door, and then go park the car, but he had refused because he said he knew she'd get lost navigating the hospital corridors, and that they should stick together. Sometimes her sons had absolutely no faith in her. The drive usually took over an hour, but the early hour had meant the roads were clear, and they made it there in forty-five minutes. They walked through the doors of the hospital, and then Yuri steered his mother towards the information booth. Red stood with her arms crossed, tapping her foot, and almost losing her mind with impatience, as they waited in line to inquire about Nicky's whereabouts. Finally, it was their turn.

"Hi, we're here to see Nicole Nichols," Yuri said to the woman in the information booth, "She was admitted for an appendectomy and she might still be in surgery."

"Are you family?" asked the woman, looking up Nicky's name in the database.

"She's my sister," said Yuri calmly, as Red gripped the edge of the counter in both hands and had to bite her tongue to keep from snapping at the woman to hurry up.

"She's a prisoner?" the woman asked curiously, looking up at them over the computer screen.

"Do you have her room information?" Yuri asked the woman impatiently.

"She's in the OR recovery room," the woman told them, "on the third floor, Zone C. They'll probably be moving her to her own room shortly if all is well, but that's where she is right now."

"Let's go, Ma," said Yuri, moving his hand to the crook of Red's arm as he led her towards the elevators.

"She called Nicky a prisoner," Red said furiously, as the elevator doors closed behind them and Yuri pushed the button for the third floor.

"Well, she is, Ma," said Yuri quietly.

"She's much more than just that," said Red sternly, and Yuri nodded compliantly. The mother and son rode up in silence, and then made their way down the hall, looking for the signs that would point them to Nicky. It wasn't hard to find where she was, though. The sight of prison guards outside a room was creating quite a stir among the people in the waiting area. Red saw more than one person point at the guards, and she heard a bald old man, with bifocal glasses, comment to his neighbour that there was somebody from the prison in that room. It broke Red's heart to feel the judgement being cast upon her baby.

"I guess I'll go ask at that desk if there's a doctor we can speak to," said Yuri quietly to his mother, "do you want to go sit down?"

"I want to see, Nicky," Red said to him stiffly, giving the two guards, whom she did not recognize, a shrewd look. She was wary of approaching them. She knew they wouldn't let her in without some authorization from a doctor or somebody.

"I'll go see what they say," said Yuri quietly, making his way towards the desk.

"Red!" Red spun around and relief coursed through her at the sight of Sam Healy walking towards her. She had never been so pleased to see him before.

"Have you seen her? How is she?" Red asked him anxiously.

"I haven't seen her," said Mr. Healy, "I was doing the paperwork for her record."

"I need to see her," Red told him anxiously, running her fingers through her hair, "can you get them to let me in?" She tapped her foot, in its pointed black boot, against the floor repetitively.

"Let's see what the doctor says first," said Healy.

"I already heard from information that she is out of surgery, Sam," said Red irritably, "so why can't I see her?" Healy gave her a sort of sympathetic smile, that made Red want to punch him in the face. She knew that Nicky was behind that door, with guards posted, so why was Healy doing this power trip over her.

"Mamoshka," Red looked over at her son, who was standing with a tall, thin, white haired doctor next to the information desk. Red breathed a sigh of relief and walked over to join them, Healy followed.

"I'm Doctor Morris," the doctor extended his hand to Red and then Healy, "and you are Ms. Nichols parents?"

"I'm not," said Healy quickly, "I work for the prison, but I'm required to stay informed about her condition."

"Very well," nodded the doctor.

"How is she?" Red asked fiercely, "is she doing okay?" Yuri reached for his mother's hand and squeezed it tightly while they waited for the doctor to reply. Red moved closer towards Yuri, and swung her purse up on her shoulder, as it had slid down her arm.

"We performed an appendectomy, Mrs. Nichols," the doctor turned to speak directly to Red. "Nicole suffered acute appendicitis, and because it took so long for her to receive medical attention, the appendix ruptured and released toxins through her body. That is very dangerous, and I will personally be filing a complaint about the prison's negligence in this case." He gave Healy a pointed look on that last note, but Red knew none of this was Sam Healy's fault, he hadn't even been at work this whole weekend. It Red had to blame anybody, she would pin it on that f**king Piscatella and his sadistic group of guards.

"But she's okay?" Red asked the doctor anxiously. She was grateful that he seemed to be on Nicky's side, and seemed to be looking at her little girl as a person who at the least deserved prompt medical care for a serious illness.

"The surgery was a success," the doctor replied, "She's been given a strong course of antibiotics to fight the infection. She'll need to take the antibiotics for at least six weeks. Nicole still hasn't woken up from the anesthesia."

"Can I see her?" Red pleaded with the doctor.

"Of course, you can," said the doctor, "she should be awake within the hour."

"How long will she need to stay in the hospital?" asked Healy.

"At a minimum, forty-eight hours," replied the doctor, "we'll see how she's doing. Her recovery will take longer than that though, so unless the prison is willing to accommodate her needs, I'm prepared to hold off releasing her for much longer than that." Dr. Morris had worked at the Litchfield General Hospital for many years, and because of its vicinity, he had treated countless inmates over the years. Many of them had garnered his compassion over the years, and he treated them with the same respect he gave to all his patients.

As soon as the doctor had given his permission, Red turned away from their talk, and was walking towards Nicky's guarded door. "I'm on her approved visitor's list, and the doctor has given me the okay to go in," Red said firmly. The two guards, whom she did not recognize, shrugged at one another and then waved her inside.

The doctor had excused himself and Yuri and Healy were left standing awkwardly beside one another. "I'm not sure if I should follow her, or not…" said Yuri unsurely.

"I'd give her a moment alone," said Healy reasonably. Yuri nodded and made his way to a chair in the waiting area. Healy took the seat next to him.

"Nicky," Red breathed her name, as she slowly walked towards her daughter's bed, and looked her over. Nicky was still sleeping, her mass of curls fanned out over the pillow, dressed in a blue hospital gown, with a blanket pulled up to her waist, and an IV inserted into a vein on her hand taped into place. Nicky's skin looked white as a sheet, but otherwise she looked alright. It pained Red to see the handcuff secured around Nicky's right wrist, locking her to the rail of her bed. Red hesitantly lifted the blanket off of Nicky's legs, and saw with sadness that her baby's right leg was also shackled to the bed. It was hardly a surprise, Red knew the protocol, but it broke her heart all the same. Poor little girl. Red could feel her anxiety level lowering as she gazed upon her daughter, but it was replaced with a powerful guilt that Red had just sent Nicky to bed and gone home. She couldn't believe that she had failed to recognize how dangerously sick she had been. Sniffling, Red pulled a plastic chair up to Nicky's bed and sat in it. She gingerly used her index finger to trace patterns upon Nicky's hand, careful to avoid the IV, that was already causing her skin to bruise.

"I'm here, Nicky," Red told her sleeping girl, "I'm right here waiting for you to open your beautiful eyes. You've been so brave. The doctor said that you're going to be okay. You're just going to stay here and recover for a few days, and I'm going to stay with you the entire time." Red continued to mindlessly draw invisible pictures on Nicky's skin with her finger, her eyes glued to her daughter's face for any signs of alertness. Nicky was still in a deep sleep, though that was hardly surprising; she was always hard to wake up. Red shifted uncomfortably in the hard chair, and crossed her legs. Her hand still gripping Nicky's unshackled one, she closed her eyes for a momentary rest.

"Ma?" Red opened her eyes to see Yuri walk into the room and shut the door behind him. "How is she?" he asked, pulling up a chair beside his mother.

"She seems okay," said Red softly, continuing to watch Nicky sleep.

"So, what's the plan?" asked Yuri, "I know you want to stay here today, but I need to get back to the city to go to work. I can't afford to take the day off. I'll drive back here and pick you up around dinnertime?"

"You don't have to come back today, Yuri," Red told him. "I'm going to stay with Nicky overnight, until they release her. I don't want her to be alone."

"I highly doubt they're going to let you stay here overnight, Ma," said Yuri.

"I'll talk to Healy," said Red dismissively, "he'll make it work." She patted Yuri's thigh twice with the hand that was not holding Nicky's.

"Well alright then," said Yuri unsurely, "you have your cell phone so you can call me if you change your mind." He slowly stood up.

"I won't change my mind," said Red adamantly, now smoothing Nicky's blanket.

"You never do," agreed Yuri solemnly. "Okay then, I've got to go. So, message me and let me know what's going on, okay?"

"Uh huh," muttered Red, as though she wasn't even listening to him.

"Right, bye," muttered Yuri, turning to walk out of the door.

Red's head suddenly snapped up as she came to her senses, "Yuri!" she said, standing up and releasing Nicky's hand. Yuri raised his eyebrows at his mother, as she walked over to him and wrapped her arms around her oldest child in a tight hug. "You're a good son. I know I've been crazy today, but I appreciate you driving me here."

"No problem," said Yuri, hugging his mother back.

Red pursed her lips. "You know it would be the same if any of you kids were sick, right?" She looked up at him.

"What do you mean?" asked Yuri in puzzlement, taking a step backward.

"I just mean, I'd be just as upset, just as worried, just as crazy if any of my children were sick," reiterated Red, "I love you so much, I just want you to know that."

"I love you too, Ma," Yuri pulled her back into a hug, "I know that Nicky doesn't change that."

"She absolutely doesn't," Red told him, rubbing his back. She leaned up to kiss Yuri's cheek. "Drive safely, and have a good day at work."

Once Yuri had left. Red resume her post beside Nicky's bed. She ran her fingers through Nicky's hair, and gently kissed her eyebrows and nose. She was trying to prompt Nicky awake, but her little girl stubbornly kept her eyes shut. There was a knock on the door and Red looked up to see Healy poke his head in. "Galina," he said, "I'm going to go get a coffee. Would you like me to get you one?"

"Okay," nodded Red, almost shyly.

"Still with one cream?" Healy asked.

"Still just one cream," nodded Red, "I'm impressed that you remember." Healy gave her an awkward smile, and then left to get their coffees. Red sat back down in her chair, and leaned her head back, as she watched her sleeping daughter. Healy was being so kind to her, and it was pleasantly strange, because they had both been deliberately avoiding one another for nearly two years. After years of friendship and a special connection that had always suggested the potential for me, things had become tense and last time they had spoken, had been one of the most awkward moments of Red's life. She had approached Healy to confess her love for Gloria, when only the day before she had been kissing him in a selfish bid to test herself. To test if she really was more attracted to women then to men. Her test had verified her commitment and love for Gloria, but Healy had understandably felt very betrayed and used. Red still felt guilty about it, but at the time it had made sense. They hadn't spoken since. Until now.

The door to Nicky's room opened and Healy walked on brandishing to steaming cups of coffee. "Here you go," said Healy quietly, passing one of the cups to her.

"Thank you," said Red softly, as she took it from him with a small smile. "You must be exhausted," she observed, "getting called into work in the middle of the night."

"I'll sleep good tonight," Healy told her, looking her up and down. "You look so different," he said sincerely, "you look amazing."

"Amazing?" Red raised her eyebrows at him, while she took a sip of coffee, "that might be stretching it a bit, don't you think?" She was dressed in the gray pants and black sweater the Lida had made her change into before she left the house. Thank goodness for a daughter-in-law who wouldn't let Red walk out of the house in silk pajamas in the middle of winter.

There was a light rap at the door. "Excuse me," said a nurse, walking in the room with a cordless telephone. Red and Healy both looked at her expectantly. "There is a Marka Nichols on the phone, calling to inquire about Nicole Nichols. She says she is her mother, but I thought you said you were her mother," the nurse pointed at Red.

"They're both Nicky's mothers," Healy spoke up, "just in different ways."

"Okay," said the nurse, "I'm a little confused, but no matter. She asked to speak with you. Are you Galina Reznikov?"

"Yes, I am," said Red cautiously, "and she wants to speak to me?"

"That's what she said," replied the nurse, handing Red the telephone. Red took it from her, with a look of confused hesitancy upon her face.

"I'll wait outside," said Healy, getting up to follow the nurse, leaving Red alone with the telephone and a sleeping Nicky.

"Hello?" Red said into the phone, she forced herself to sound polite and steady. She was not about to give Marka the upper hand. This was the first time the two women had ever had any contact. Red had heard many tales of Marka, from Nicky, over the years; but besides that, and a quick glimpse through the visitation room glass, the woman remained a virtual mystery to Red.

"Hello? Mrs. Reznikov?" said a polished, feminine voice on the line. The background hissed and crackled from the long-distance connection. Marka clearly must still be in Brazil right now.

"I was calling to check in on Nicole, and the hospital staff told me that you were with her," said Marka, in a tone that revealed nothing about her attitude towards that.

"I came as soon as I heard the news," Red stated simply. She looked over at Nicky and was suddenly thankful that she was still asleep. Nicky always got upset, when Marka came up, and the last thing Red wanted right now was for anything to upset her little girl.

"I'm so grateful you're there," said Marka, "I'm so relieved that Nicole is not alone. The warden just got a hold of me a little while ago, and I've been frantic. Poor girl. The nurse said that the surgery went alright. Does she look okay to you?" Now, Red could detect the anxiety that was depicted in Marka's tone. She was obviously concerned. Red leaned back in her chair and crossed her legs, as a peculiar sort of smile, curved upward on her face. She wasn't sure how to read Marka right now. On the one hand, she didn't like her because she knew how much damage she had done to Nicky by being absent and nonnurturing all her life. However, Marka was phoning to inquire about Nicky, and seemed happy to discover that Red was watching over her. For a moment, it was as if they were just two moms, looking out for their child. Red wasn't sure how to feel about that yet.

"Nicky is still asleep," Red told her, in a slow, even tone. "The doctor said the surgery was a success, and she is going to be okay. They'll release her in a few days or so."

"Thank goodness," said Marka, and Red could hear her sigh over the phone. "I've been worried. I'm really tempted to hop on a plane right now and get there as fast as I can to see her."

"If that's what you feel you should do, then you absolutely should," said Red, rolling her eyes at the ceiling. She waited for the excuse to come. Red knew that Marka had no intention of flying back to the States to see her daughter in the hospital. She had only visited Nicky once, that Red knew of, during Nicky's entire incarceration.

"If only I could get there," sighed Marka, "I'm pretty sure the planes are probably all sold out by now. I probably wouldn't get there until they were already releasing her from the hospital."

"You could go check on her at the prison," Red suggested, "You could still see her."

"Yeah…" Marka pretended to think about it, "but you're there. At least I know she's not alone. I was so upset thinking about Nicole in the hospital with nobody but prison guards around."

"I'd never let that happen," Red cut in, "I don't plan to leave her side until they take her back to the prison. And even then, I'll be there every week at visitation."

"Really?" said Marka skeptically.

"Absolutely," Red confirmed, moistening her lips with her tongue.

"Well I'm going to try my hardest to get there to see her," Marka told Red, as though hoping to convince her that she really was a devoted mother.

"Mhmm," replied Red, in a smug tone that implied that she knew they'd never see her. Marka probably wouldn't even bother to check out the flights; she had no intention of coming. And if she did, she wouldn't know what to do once she got there. Nicky wouldn't be happy to see her.

"She really looks okay?" Marka asked again.

"She's a little paler than I'd like," Red admitted, "but that's to be expected. I imagine she is going to be in quite a bit of pain for a few weeks though. But she's tough."

"Yeah," said Marka distractedly. She cleared her throat, "I know from Nicole, the last time I visited, that you mean a lot to her."

"Well she means the world to me," Red said simply. She got to her feet, and moved towards the small window in the room. Talking to Marka, was fueling Red with this strange energy that was neither sadness or rage, but maybe something in the middle. Either way, she found it impossible to sit still as she listened to Marka ramble off a few more excuses of why she probably wouldn't come. Red paced back and forth across the room, as Marka said Nicky probably wouldn't want her there, because she had Red now. It was almost as if Marka was hoping Red would feel sorry for her, and regard her as a loving mother, who desperately wanted to be there for her daughter but was afraid to come and be out of place. Red dropped a couple "Mhmms" into Marka's monologue when appropriate, but she was not going to give Marka the absolution that she seemed to be seeking. Marka could make a million excuses as to why Nicky didn't need or wouldn't want her there, but they were just that—excuses. If Marka had really wanted to be there, she would be coming. The trouble was that Marka simply didn't want to be needed.

"Tell Nicky when she wakes up to give me a call if there's anything that she needs me to get her," Marka told Red, once she was done listing her multiple reasons for not coming.

"I'll make sure she gets everything she needs," Red said coldly, but politely.

There was a pause. "And you as well," Marka broke the silence first, "if you need any help getting back on your feet, getting set up in an apartment, anything, I'd be happy to help."

"Thank you, but I'm fine," replied Red stiffly. Another pause.

"Well, I guess I better get going," said Marka, "please give Nicole my love, tell her I'm thinking of her." That line signified to Red that Marka wasn't even going to bother to call Nicky and say those things to her herself. She wanted Red to say them on her behalf, and somehow that would assure Nicky that Marka loved her.

"Goodbye," said Red coldly, "take care of yourself, I'll take care of Nicky."

"You as well," said Marka. The line went dead in Red's hand. She placed the phone on the windowsill and turned back to the bed, just to see Nicky staring at her. She had woken up.

"Oh, Nicky," Red gasped, rushing over to the bed, and placing her hands on either side of Nicky's face, while she leaned down to kiss her forehead.

"Mom?" Nicky said in a weak, dazed voice.

"Yes, I'm right here," Red told her, "are you in a lot of pain? I can page the nurse to get you some more pain medication if you need it." Nicky shook her head no.

"Can you make my bed, go up?" she asked Red, weakly.

"How do I do that?" asked Red.

"There's a button on the side of the bed," Nicky told her, "I can't reach it," she jangled the heavy metal of her handcuffs.

"Don't worry," Red said quickly, "I'll get it," she looked down at the buttons, and pushed the one that would move Nicky into a sitting position. Once the bed was set the way Nicky wanted it, Red moved back to her chair next to the bed.

"Were you talking to Marka, just now?" Nicky asked her. Red began stroking Nicky's arm up and down gently with her fingertips.

"She called to see how you were," Red replied simply. That was all she was going to say.

"I'm sure. F**king b*tch," cursed Nicky. Red frowned at Nicky's language but didn't reproach her.

"How did you know that I was here?" asked Nicky.

"Mr. Healy phoned me as soon as he heard," Red told her, "And I got here as fast as I possibly could."

"Really?" Nicky asked.

"Of course," Red said. She continued to stroke Nicky's arm back and forth while Nicky closed her eyes against the pillows, too exhausted to talk anymore. "Get some sleep, honey," Red urged her, "I'll still be here when you wake up. I'm not going anywhere."


	7. Chapter 7

A nurse rapped on the door of Nicky's room gently, and then poked her head around the corner. It was nice for the medical staff to give Nicky the allusion of privacy by knocking before entering the room, even though there was a large window that kept her on permanent display to the correctional officer standing guard. Still, Red just avoided looking at the window, and it made her feel like she really was alone with her Nicky. The nurse who walked in was a different one than the earlier nurse who had handed Red the phone. This one was young, blonde, and considerably more friendly looking. "How's our patient?" she asked Red with a smile, and walked over to stand next to the bed where Nicky was sleeping soundly.

"She was awake for a few minutes," Red told her, "she seemed uncomfortable but didn't want any pain medication." She absentmindedly stroked Nicky's arm as she spoke.

"Well, if she wants something when she wakes up again, just page me," the nurse said, scribbling something down on Nicky's chart. "she'll probably be in and out of sleep a lot for the next twenty-four hours or so. That man from the prison, Healy, I think he said his name was; he said that you were planning to stay with her tonight, and that it was alright by him."

"Good," said Red, simply.

Nicky let out a low moan and opened her eyes. Red and the nurse both turned to look at her. "Hi, sleepyhead," said the nurse gently, "you've been on quite the journey. Are you in a lot of discomfort?"

"Red?" said Nicky gruffly, and her eyes filled with tears.

Red leaned forward to smooth back Nicky's hair and kiss her forehead. "I'm right here," Red whispered softly, and then she kissed Nicky's forehead again. Red's comfort didn't seem to have the desired effect of soothing her though. Nicky's eyes watered, and a few loud sobs sputtered through her lips. Red turned to stare at the nurse, with a look of concerned bewilderment upon her face.

"It's the anesthesia," the nurse told Red calmly, "it's very common after an operation, she'll be okay soon."

Red wrapped her hand around Nicky's head and allowed her to fall forward against her shoulder. Nicky was in hysterics by that point, but when Red asked her what was wrong, Nicky only shook her head and cried harder. Sometimes there didn't need to be a logical explanation. "What do I do?" Red asked the nurse anxiously.

"Exactly what you are doing," the nurse replied, "you hold her and love her. She's lucky to have you. I see so many people wake up in this hospital without anybody, besides the medical staff." She regarded Nicky, "you'll be okay, Nicky. We're taking good care of you, and your mom can stay with you tonight. I'm going to get you some pain medication and some water, okay?"

Nicky continued to cry, but Red favoured the nurse with a look of deepest gratitude. "Thank you," Red said thickly. And the nurse gave a nod of her head and walked back out of the room. Red shushed Nicky and stroked her hair until she began to nod back to sleep again, then she slowly laid Nicky back against her pillow. "Try and sleep," she murmured to the poor girl, brushing her hair off her forehead.

Relief coursed through Red's body when Nicky let out a small sigh of contentment and reached for her mother's hand to hold. "Don't leave me," Nicky said vulnerably, with her eyes still squeezed shut.

"I never will," Red promised, kissing Nicky's fingertips, which was the only part of her hand devoid of the tape holding her IV in place. "Go to sleep, honey." The nurse returned, laying a pitcher of water and a plastic cup on the table, and hooking up a bag, of what had to be some pain relieving drug, to Nicky's IV, while Red watched her through groggy eyes, and continued to hold Nicky's hand. Then the nurse retreated, and Nicky and Red were alone again.

Red shifted uncomfortably in her seat, her back was already beginning to kill her. It was a small price to pay, though, for the privilege of being there. Red hated hospitals, had never liked being in them, and couldn't stand watching one of her children lying in a sterile bed so weak and so in need of medical attention. It had always troubled Red to bring the boys to the hospital and have to admit that there were certain things that a mother's love and care could not cure. She hated having to depend on anyone or anything, other that herself, to protect her children. Trust had never been her strong suit.

 _Ring Ring_

Red frantically rummaged through her purse to retrieve the cell phone and silence it, before it woke the sleeping girl. She hit the answer button without pausing to look at the caller ID. "Hello?" she said into the phone, looking anxiously over at Nicky to ensure that she was still sleeping.

 _An inmate from Litchfield Penitentiary is attempting to contact you. To accept this call please press one_.

Red hit one, her heart pounding, as she waited to hear the voice of the woman who had never even called to warn her about how sick her baby had become.

"Red?" said Gloria, her voice high and filled with a strong sense of urgency.

"Hi, Gloria," said Red into the phone. She crossed her legs and leaned back into the chair, as she waited to hear what Gloria was going to say.

"I wanted to call you sooner," Gloria said breathlessly, "but that f**king Piscatella was guarding the phones and I couldn't. This was the soonest I could reach you. It's Nicky, she—,"

"I'm sitting with Nicky right now," said Red shrilly into the phone, as she began bouncing her crossed leg repetitively.

"You are?" Gloria asked incredulously, "but how did you know?"

"Healy called me!" said Red piercingly, continuing to bounce her leg, "I got a phone call at five in the morning telling me that my little girl had a ruptured appendix, because she had been denied medical care for too long, and that she was already having an operation, without me there to kiss her first and wait outside in the hallway in case something…in case something went wrong." Red choked on the last bit, and her eyes began to water as she recalled the horror of receiving that call. Any mother's nightmare. She brushed the tears furiously away.

"Oh, _mami_ ," sighed Gloria, "I'm sorry. I know how scary that must have been, to receive that call."

"Why didn't _you_ call me?" Red spat heatedly into the phone, emphasizing the 'you'. "Why didn't you tell me what was going on? I thought she just had the flu!" Nicky squirmed and Red bit her lip. She was making too much noise, and she was disturbing her baby, who really needed her rest. Standing up, Red tiptoed out into the hall so that she could continue her conversation without waking the little girl.

"So, did I," insisted Gloria, "I thought she had the flu too! As soon as I said goodbye to you, I went to check on her. She never made it to the showers because she was too weak. She was lying on her bunkie's bed because she didn't have enough strength to climb up to the top bunk." Red sniffled, as she took in the picture that Gloria was paining in her mind. Red had sent Nicky away; she had told her to go take a shower, by herself, when she clearly hadn't been up to that. Red hadn't known. She hadn't been paying enough attention. Red should have been able to tell that Nicky had much more than just a simple flu virus.

"So, what did you do?" Red breathed, as she walked over to the waiting area and sat down on the edge of her seat at the end of the aisle, away from anybody else.

"I went to the kitchen and told the girls I needed to take supper off," said Gloria simply, "then I went back to Nicky and sponged her off with a cool cloth. Her fever was still high, and I was trying to bring it down. I went to the pharmacy to ask for some Tylenol and to say she needed to be checked on, but the guard wouldn't take me seriously; and since it was the weekend, I couldn't even appeal to Caputo. So, I went back and sat with her while she drifted in and out. She was in a lot of pain, and I went back to the guards so many times, so did Alex, but it did no good. They didn't give a f**k. So, that's why I wasn't able to call you last night."

Red felt like her heart was in her throat. She could hear the emotion in Gloria's voice as she regaled the previous night's events to her. Gloria had been helpless to get Nicky what she needed, but she had done everything in her power to fight for Red's daughter. Red's right hand clutched at the front of her black sweater, as she took a few calming breaths, it took her a couple moments to find her voice. "Gloria, I'm so sorry," Red said passionately, "you did everything you could, and I'm so grateful to you. I love you so much." Red was so enamoured with Gloria's testimony, that she didn't notice Healy walk over, from wherever he had gone, and sit down beside her.

"I know that," Gloria said smoothly, "and I love you too." Red couldn't help but smile at the words, she wished she could reach through the phone and hold her. "So how is Nicky now?" asked Gloria, concern creeping back into her tone. However, she knew things couldn't be too bad, or Red would be sounding much worse that she did.

"She's okay," said Red, releasing her grip on her sweater and running her fingers through her hair. "She's sleeping now, but she's woken up and spoken to me for a few minutes. Her appendix ruptured because they didn't take it out in time." She paused with her hand still tangled in her hair on the top of her head.

Gloria muttered some Spanish curse words that Red didn't understand, but got the gist nonetheless. "I tried, Red, I tried so hard to get them to take her, but nobody would listen. They waited until she was almost out of her mind with the pain, according to Alex; I wasn't there then, they made me go back to Spanish Harlem at lights out."

"She's safe now," said Red comfortingly, stepping out of her own thoughts long enough to recognize that Gloria needed her reassurance. "She has a good doctor, I've spoken with him, and according to him there is nothing we really need to worry about in regards to her health. She just needs some time to recover from the surgery."

"Are you able to stay with her?" Gloria asked, her relief evident in her tone.

"Yes," said Red firmly, "I'm not leaving." Red glanced to the side and finally noticed Healy sitting there beside her. When had he shown up? Healy was still absorbed in tedious paperwork, but he obviously couldn't help following Red's side of the conversation when he was sitting so close. Healy glanced up when he felt Red's eyes upon him, just long enough for her to see that there was no animosity in his eyes, then he looked back down at his papers.

"I'm glad to hear she's doing okay," said Gloria sincerely, and Red turned her attention back to the phone, "I know she's in good hands with you. Don't forget to eat something, okay? Don't want you getting sick right now too."

Red beamed at Gloria's words. It never ceased to please her when Gloria got stern, and expressed concern for her. She was always especially irresistible to Red then. "I'll get something soon," Red promised her, "I just don't want to go too far in case Nicky wakes up."

"Just make sure that you do," Gloria said firmly, "you need to take care of yourself if you want to be of any use to anybody else."

Red felt a little flush crawl up her neck at Gloria's ability to make her feel loved, even from a distance. "I promise," she replied.

"I need to go now," Gloria said reluctantly, "but I'm so glad I was able to reach you. I felt terrible all night that we didn't talk, and I knew how worried you would be."

"I was freaking out," Red confessed, pinching the bridge of her nose and recalling her agonizing night and morning.

"Knowing you, that's probably the understatement of the century," Gloria teased, and Red made a little noise of reproach into the phone, as if offended by what Gloria was implying.

"I just realized I might not be able to come visit you this weekend, Gloria," said Red distressingly.

"Is Nicky expected to be in the hospital that long?" asked Gloria.

"I don't really know yet," replied Red, crossing her legs, "but if I have to stay here for a few more days, I'm going to need to ask the boys to bring me some things and it won't really be fair to expect them to make another trip on Saturday, after all this running back and forth."

"That's okay," said Gloria easily, "you do what you have to do, huh?"

"But I really want to see you," said Red sadly. There was a pause on the line, as Gloria went back and forth in her mind about whether or not to say something.

"I want to see you too," said Gloria truthfully, "but since you can't come this weekend, I might try and see if Lourdes will bring the boys up herself for the day. It would be good for me to spend some time with just them. I think it was a little hard on them to visit me surrounded by so many other people. That's why Benny acted out, he felt like everyone was intruding on his time."

"Did he say that?" asked Red, distressingly. She did not feel cut out for dealing with a pubescent boy who resented her for wanting to see Gloria as much as he did. He wasn't her child, so she didn't feel as empathetic as she might be to one of her own. She'd never admit that out loud to Gloria, though. She knew that was a very selfish thing to think.

"I haven't spoken to him yet," replied Gloria, "I was too busy with Nicky, and the first chance I got to use the phone I called you. I can just tell, and it might be good if I can find a way to give him his own time next visitation, so he won't feel so resentful."

"I guess," said Red begrudgingly. She didn't mean to sound obnoxious, but it annoyed her that Gloria wasn't getting upset that she wouldn't be able to visit, and was instead grateful to have time with her kids alone. Red understood because in Gloria's position, she would feel the same way. Gloria frequently had been cast aside by Red for Nicky's benefit, but it still bothered her when Gloria did the same to her. Red had never been very good at sharing.

"I need to go," said Gloria casually, "but I'll call you again after supper. I'm glad Nicky's doing okay, and I'm glad you get to be there with her."

"Uh huh," said Red, crisply, "bye."

"Good bye," said Gloria.

Red ended the call and rubbed her eyes with her fist. She glanced up at Healy and their eyes met. Suddenly Red stood up, "I need to check on Nicky," she said, looking over at Nicky's closed door, "make sure she hasn't woken up." Healy nodded, but Red had already turned her back on him and walked back to the room.

Nicky was still asleep, thankfully. Red would have felt terrible if she had woken up while she had been outside chatting on the phone. The pain medication seemed to be doing its job, as Nicky's face did not display any signs of discomfort. Red sat back down in her bedside chair and reached into her purse to pull out the book she had been reading. She never left the house without a book. Catching sight of the small snack bag Vasily had packed for her, Red smiled grimly and pulled out a cracker to nibble on, thinking of Gloria. She opened her book and began to read quietly to herself, grateful to her son for thinking to pack her something to eat. She was really hungry.

"Mmmmmm," groaned Nicky, and Red looked up over her book at her. She smiled and removed her reading glasses, and laid her book to the side.

"How are you, honey?" Red asked.

"Terrible," croaked Nicky.

Red reached for the cup and pitcher on the table, that the nurse had left there, and poured a little for Nicky to drink. "Here, honey," Red said softly. She stood up, and held Nicky's head in one hand, as she brought the cup to her lips. "Have a little drink."

Nicky drank the water from the cup that Red held for her. "How long was I asleep for?" she asked.

"Maybe an hour?" Red said, "I thought you'd sleep longer than that."

"What, you don't want the pleasure of my company?" Nicky asked gruffly, and Red replaced the cloth on the table and smiled.

She stood up out of the chair and positioned herself on the edge of Nicky's bed. Gripping Nicky's cheeks in both of her hands, Red kissed Nicky's forehead and said, "the only bright spot in this whole thing is that I get to be with you for a few days. I've missed you so much, honey." Nicky smiled and looked back at Red through tired eyes. Red returned her smile, and kissed Nicky's forehead again. "My heart," she whispered, smoothing her thumbs over Nicky's pale skin. Removing her hands from Nicky's face, Red kissed both of her cheeks. Nicky closed her eyes and focused on the feel of Red's mouth and hands, and allowed the sound of her voice to flow over her.

 _"I want you to do the things that mothers do. Hold me, give me sips of water….anything,_ " Nicky remembered pleading with Marka after her surgery for endocarditis, but Marka had just walked away. Nicky didn't know why her mind went there, she didn't want to think about Marka right now. She willed herself to focus on Red, the mom who was there, doing all those things without Nicky even hinting that she wanted them.

"Are you in pain?" Red asked. Nicky shook her head no. They sat together in companionable silence for a little while. Nicky had almost fallen back asleep when a knock at the door made her and Red both look up. "Come in?" said Red, and the door opened and in walked Healy.

"How are you doing?" Healy asked Nicky, who shrugged noncommittally. Healy looked at Red, "I'm leaving for the day," he said, "but I was wondering if you were hungry or anything...I could go get you something to eat and bring it back to you here."

It was nearing lunchtime and Red had to admit she was famished. "I'd appreciate that," Red replied, "let me just get my wallet."

"What would you like?" asked Healy, taking the money from her outstretched hand.

"Anything," said Red, "whatever looks good to you."

When Healy was gone, Red sat back down next to Nicky and began absentmindedly smoothing her blankets. "I'm telling Gloria," Nicky told her.

"What are you talking about?" asked Red, with a hint of embarrassment.

"I thought you weren't speaking to him anymore?" asked Nicky.

"Not because he did anything wrong," Red said uncomfortably, "we just grew apart."

She stretched her unshackled leg up into the air and stretched. "My legs are sore," she said, "because I can't move."

"You're not supposed to move," Red told her, "you're supposed to rest." She flipped the blanket covering Nicky's legs up over her abdomen, revealing her bare legs. Goosebumps prickled Nicky's skin, from the sudden cool air, but she smiled contentedly when Red began squeezing her way up the leg closest to her, kneading out her tense muscles.

"Will you take my socks off for me?" Nicky asked, "they're bugging me." She motioned to the foot that was shackled around the ankle. Nicky was completely restrained on one side.

Red curved her hand around Nicky's ankle, below the shackle. "I don't think that's a good idea, honey," she said gently, "I'm worried the cuff will cut into your skin without the sock as a barrier."

"It can't possibly feel any worse," Nicky replied. "Please?" Sighing, Red slowly slid the crew length sock off of Nicky's foot, wiggling the fabric beneath the cuff.

"Oh, honey," Red said with a slight gasp, and she gingerly touched the irritated skin beneath the cuff. The restraint wasn't too tight, Red could wiggle the tips of fingers under the metal, but it still cut into Nicky's skin if she made the slightest movement.

Red sat back up out of the bed and reached for her purse, on the chair. "What are you doing?" asked Nicky weakly, she was already beginning to feel very tired again. She didn't have enough stamina to stay awake for too much longer.

"I have some lotion in here, I think," Red told her, tossing random items out of the bag as she searched for the container of lotion. Hairbrush, makeup, Kleenex, wallet, lifesavers, and, for some inexplicable reason, a plastic green dinosaur toy, were all dumped out onto the bed.

"So, you're just one of those old ladies who walks around with her whole life in a bag now, huh?" Nicky commented, "what the f**k is the dinosaur for?"

"It's Alexei's," Red said dismissively.

"Here it is," said Red finally, pulling out a small bottle of creamy white lotion. She began dumping everything back into her purse. "Alright," she said, rolling up her sleeves and squeezing a dime size amount onto her palm, "this will help your skin not blister, honey." She lathered the cream all over Nicky's foot, but paid particularly close attention to the skin beneath and surrounding the shackle. Nicky was completely exhausted, but resisting the heaviness in her eyelids because she didn't want to sleep through their time together. It was the only upside she could think of to having to have surgery. She closed her eyes only when Healy returned with a brown bag of food for Red, because she was hoping he'd leave quicker if he thought she was asleep.

"I knew you were faking," Red whispered to her, when Healy had left.

"I didn't want to talk to him," Nicky replied.

"Why don't you try to get some sleep?" asked Red. "I know you're exhausted."

"Why don't you get some rest, too?" asked Nicky, "it's been a long day for you as well."

"Maybe I will," said Red unconvincingly, there was no way she could sleep in that awful chair. Red would be better off trying to fall asleep on the hospital floor.

"You can share my bed," Nicky offered with a smile.

"Okay," Red gave in, curling into Nicky on the side that was not constricted by the chains. Red rested her head next to Nicky's on the pillow. Nicky's wild hair was fanned out so some of it tickled Red's cheek, but she didn't care. Red scooted even closer, so that her nose and lips were lightly touching Nicky's cheek. Nicky could feel Red's hot breath against the side of her face, it was such a calming element, and it wasn't long before Nicky's breaths synchronized with Red's. Nicky reached over with her free hand and linked her fingers with Red's again. Feeling utterly content, she fell back into sleep almost instantaneously, and Red was not too far behind her.

A loud clang startled Red out of her slumber. "Sorry," apologized the nurse, "I've brought Nicky her lunch tray. It's important she eat at least a little of it. It's all light stuff, she shouldn't have any problems keeping it down."

Red sat up and yawned. "I'll make sure she eats," she promised, as she separated her hand from Nicky's and slid off of the bed. Nicky's knuckles had little indents where Red's nails had dug into them, almost as if afraid Nicky would go away if she didn't hold her tight enough. As soon as Red moved away from her, Nicky's eyes opened up and she frowned.

"It's time to eat," Red told her, as the nurse left the room. She walked around the bed to push the button that would move Nicky to a sitting position.

"Hospital food," Nicky grumbled, "still probably an upgrade from prison food." Red walked over to the tray and pulled the lid off a bowl of soup.

"It doesn't look too bad," Red told her, "it's chicken soup. Do you want me to put the crackers in it?" Nicky nodded reluctantly, and Red added the crackers to the bowl and then slid the table over to Nicky's side, where she could access it. Then she decided to finally eat the sandwich that Healy had brought her.

"So, how do you like living at Vasily's?" Nicky asked hesitantly.

"It's good," Red admitted, paying close attention to Nicky's big brown eyes for any sign that she was upsetting her. "I don't feel like a houseguest who has overstayed her welcome, at least. It feels right, it feels like family. Yuri's staying there too, for now at least, because he and Anna have broken up possibly for good. It's a pretty full house though, so it will be good to get a place just for us."

"We're still going to do that?" Nicky asked, relieved. She had been worried that Red would like living there so much with her grandkids that she wouldn't want to leave, and then Nicky would be by herself.

"Of course, we are," Red said promptly. "But somewhere close to them so we can all still see each other all the time."

"Don't you know that I don't like kids?" Nicky told her grumpily, _"You know, they don't drink, they haven't travelled."_

"You are a kid," Red retorted, "little Alexei, it's almost the same as hanging out with you…except I think he's probably better behaved."

"Ha Ha," said Nicky sarcastically, and she rolled her eyes. "It's going to be so hard to go back to that sh!t hole...I just want to come home now."

"I know, baby," Red sighed, "it's going to be hard for me to leave again. But we're getting through it, right? We've done a week."

"Yeah, and looked what happened," Nicky said sarcastically, waving her unshackled hand at the IV pole she was attached to.

Red chuckled, "I don't think it works that way," she told her, smoothing the hair out of Nicky's face. "But you'll be home soon, I promise." She sat back down next to Nicky in the hospital bed, "and we've got this time right now. Do you want me to read to you?" Nicky nodded yes, so Red picked up her book and began to read.

Nicky rested her hand on her mother's shoulder and enjoyed the pleasing rumble of her voice. She never grew tired of Red reading to her, it was becoming her happy place. She leaned up to kiss Red's cheek, and then nuzzled closer to her. In this moment, Nicky was already home.


	8. Chapter 8

Gloria always awoke before the guard came to fetch her. The last thing she wanted was some CO's face to be the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes. It also gave her the illusion of liberty, as if it was her choice to wake up and feed the masses each day. Every morning was the same, she was always the first person up in the prison and she had come to appreciate that. Being first up meant no lines for the shower, being able to dress and primp in blessed silence, and she always reserved enough time to enjoy a single cup of black coffee before breakfast began. Gloria had taken over from Red as the head of the kitchen, but she didn't really mind the three-thirty wake up time. She turned in early every night so that she wouldn't become too sleep deprived, with a reminder in her heart that she was one day closer to going home to where she belonged.

Gloria was beginning to see a faint light at the end of what had once seemed an eternal tunnel. Her life in prison was beginning to seem less significant, and she was beginning to focus on what awaited her once she was out. It had once been too painful for her to think too futuristically, but now she was able to look ahead with a sense of hope. Her children and Red were waiting for her. Gloria had been inside for years, but she had less than two to go now. Compared to what she was looking at when she arrived, that was so little time. Keeping busy made the time go faster. Now more than ever, she was just impatient to be done. A good life was ahead. She knew it.

"Tie your hair back," Gloria said instantly, as Flores walked into the kitchen, her ungroomed hair loose. Gloria was transporting the pans of gray oatmeal, watery eggs, and the coveted toast to the serving station. Flores always joined her for the early morning shift, and the other girls started later.

"I'm going to," Flores replied, removing a rubber band from around her wrist, and waving it at Gloria, "I just got here. Good morning to you too, by the way." She pulled her messy hair up, and then wrapped her white apron over her uniform.

Gloria gave her an appraising sort of look, "Good morning," she said begrudgingly, as she carried over the last tray.

"You sleep okay?" Flores asked her, "your eyes look sort of puffy." She leaned against the wall with her arms folded.

Gloria rubbed at her eye mindlessly, "As good as anybody every could sleep in this dump," she answered. "Sh!t, I don't know. She's a pain in my ass, always up to something, always wanting something, and yet I sort of miss her."

"Nichols?" Flores clarified, her unibrow creasing as she scrutinized Gloria's face. Gloria wasn't usually so sentimental. Gloria nodded, and then shook her head as though she found herself entirely ridiculous. "When's she coming back?"

"Tomorrow, if everything's okay," Gloria said, picking up a rag at random and running is across the appliances needlessly. "She's been there for two days now, and I guess they can't justify keeping her any longer." She rolled her eyes and huffed, "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm actually looking forward to getting her back."

"What's wrong with that?" Flores asked her nonchalantly, as she casually plucked at a loose thread on her apron.

Gloria shrugged, "it just sort of hit me that she's going to be gone soon, all the time. They'll be together and I'm still going to be stuck in here." Gloria continued wiping down the counter, not really understanding her own motives for confiding in Flores. The girl was strange, albeit amusing at times, and Gloria had never really taken her seriously in the past, but now she was grateful she was here. You needed to have people inside

"Red with her?" asked Flores, correctly guessing whom Gloria was referring to.

"Yeah," Gloria chuckled, "ridiculous woman. Hasn't left the hospital in days, but every time I talk to her she's complaining about how much her back hurts from sleeping in an old chair, even though I know damn well that she's been sharing the bed with Nicky every night."

"How do you know that?" asked Flores curiously.

Gloria snorted, "I know her," she said with a shake of her head, "she just wants something to complain about. Plus, Nicky told me."

"I'm surprised they're letting Red stay with her," commented Flores, successfully removing the loose thread from her scrub, and now wrapping it tightly around her index finger so the circulation was cut off. "When Maria had her baby, they didn't even want to let Yadriel stay in the room once the baby came out."

"Yeah, well, Red always seemed to manage to get preferential treatment around this place," Gloria said stiffly, as she caught sight of Healy who had been passing by in the hallway, but had paused at the cafeteria doors and glanced in. Their eyes met. "I'll be back in a few minutes," Gloria said, slipping her apron over her head and handing it to Flores, "try not to burn the place down while I'm gone." She took off out of the kitchen and hurried down the hallway. "Mr. Healy, Mr. Healy," she said to his back.

"What is it, Mendoza?" asked Healy, unlocking the door to his office, but keeping the door closed as he turned to look at her. Clearly, he had no desire to invite her inside.

"How's Nicky doing?" asked Gloria with a shrug of her shoulders.

"She's fine," said Healy shortly, "they'll be discharging her tomorrow." He flexed his hand on the door knob, "was that all?"

"Actually, I was wondering if I could ask you about Red?" Gloria replied casually, not caring if the subject made him feel awkward. The worst thing he could do was say no, but Healy didn't. His eyes did a once over, and then he turned the knob and opened the door, granting her entrance.

"Why would you want to ask me anything about her?" Healy said stiffly, "she's not even an inmate anymore." He closed the door behind them for privacy.

"She's not," Gloria agreed, sitting down in the visitor's chair, "but she's been at the hospital for days with Nichols. I just want to know that she's doing okay. You've must have run into her, I know she's only been allowed to stay with Nicky because you made it possible." Gloria knew that acknowledging his kindness and playing to his ego would make the counsellor less withholding.

Healy sat down in his chair, and said coldly, "I haven't seen her since the day Nichols had her surgery. I've had no reason to go back to the hospital since. The correctional officers are guarding her" He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Red seemed okay to me. I think she's adjusting to life on the outside alright. Her son was with her when she came in, and he seemed like he was taking good care of her."

"They're good guys," Gloria agreed, "Red told me everything is alright, but it's hard to tell if she's being honest just through phone calls, or if she's just telling me what I want to hear." Gloria shifted in her seat, but kept her eyes glued onto Healy for signs of a reaction. She wasn't sure why exactly she had sought him out like this. He wasn't telling her anything she didn't already know. The only reason she could fathom was that she knew this man had once cared deeply for Red, and still did enough to at least fix things so that she'd be able to stay in the hospital with Nicky. It had been common knowledge that Red and Healy had been close since she first was incarcerated at Litchfield. Red had never really got into too much detail about why she purposefully had begun to avoid him, but Gloria just had to assume that it was Red's relationship with her that had strained things between them. Healy's homophobia was also common knowledge.

"I don't think you need to worry about that," Healy said, leaning back in his chair and folding his hands over his stomach. "Galina Reznikov isn't a liar. She'd never tell somebody something just because it's what they wanted to hear. Have you tried calling her again?"

"Not yet," admitted Gloria, realizing that Healy knew about her and Red speaking at least once already. He must have been hanging around during their last conversation. The thought of that made Gloria feel a little weird. She knew that Healy's feelings for Red were not entirely platonic, or at least they hadn't been in the past. It bothered Gloria a little to think that he had been with Red at the hospital, and she hadn't been. Had he been Red's shoulder to cry on? Probably not, but it still sort of bothered her to think about him being around Red when she was so emotionally vulnerable.

Healy hesitated. "Well, maybe you should," he suggested tentatively, "It was the first time I had seen her relax all day." Gloria looked into his eyes and could sense that Healy was being completely sincere. He wanted what was best for Red, even if he had to accept that it wasn't him.

"I will," Gloria replied softly, nodding her head. "Thank you, Mr. Healy," she added politely, standing up to leave the office.

"You know…" Healy cut in, and Gloria lowered herself back into her seat, "I really thought this was just some weird lesbian phase that she was going through because she was lonely, or as a result of associating with lesbians, like Nichols, who put the idea in her head." Gloria leaned back in the chair and tried her best to suppress a smirk. She hadn't come in here for this, but she guessed Healy had probably been reeling to say this since she and Red had gotten together. Probably best to just let him get it all out. "I was surprised when it didn't end after a few months," Healy pressed on, "and I was even more shocked to discover that she wanted to keep it going post prison. How do her kids feel about all that?"

"Well that's between them," Gloria replied smoothly, "I've got my own kids to worry about and she worries about hers. It's not really any of their business right now anyways. It doesn't change anything about their own relationship with their mother." She folded her hands together while she waited for Healy to reply. She could tell he was struggling with something.

"I hope you're right," Healy said finally, "I would hate for her relationship with her sons to become strained after she just got them back. And Mendoza, I can tell that she cares really deeply for you. I don't pretend to understand how that sort of thing works, but I do want her to be happy. I'm not hurt or angry anymore about what happened."

"What reason would you have to be hurt or angry?" asked Gloria in confusion. "I mean it sucks, that we can't make people feel the way we want them to, but she never did anything directly to you. I think you're taking this a bit too personal. It's about her, not you."

"I think I had every right to be angry after she used me the way that she did," said Healy with a slight edge in his voice. He didn't seem angry or sad necessarily, but Gloria thought he would become that soon if the conversation continued. Gloria was intrigued, though, so she decided to press on.

"Why would you say she used you?" she asked Healy calmly, feeling like she should be the one titled the counsellor right about now. "I don't think she ever intended to use you. She always valued you as her friend and she never pretended with that. Red was very sad when things got tense between the two of you, I think that's why she started avoiding you, because it pained her that things weren't the same as they used to be."

"That's not why," said Healy quickly, staring at Gloria in bewilderment, "you don't think she was avoiding me as a means of avoiding her own guilt about leading me on and then dumping me for you? I think that's why. I never would have ever crossed that line, but she wanted me to. And then to find out she never meant for me to be more than a means of testing the waters before she committed to you? Yeah, I was hurt. I think I had every right to be."

Gloria stared back at him in astonishment. This was all news to her. She had always been under the impression that Red and Healy had never been more than friendly, even if he had once wanted more. Red had led her to assume that she no longer spoke to Healy because he was critical and condescending of their relationship. Healy was painting an entire new picture for Gloria right now, and it was one she didn't like. A part of Gloria was screaming at her to leave now, phone Red, and ask her to explain what Healy was on about. Maybe she had a reasonable explanation. However, a larger part of Gloria decided that Red had had well over a year to open up about this and she hadn't. Gloria decided to be straight with Healy about how taken-a-back she was. She needed to know more.

"I'm sorry, Healy," Gloria said, crossing her arms and legs simultaneously. "I've never heard about any of this before, so I'm not really sure what I should say. How far did things go between you and Red? I always was under the impression you two were just friends."

"She never told you?" Healy asked in surprise, ignoring Gloria's question. He couldn't believe Red would keep something like that to herself, she was ordinarily so direct. He wondered if this meant she wasn't as close to Gloria as she seemed to be. Red had always been honest with him, at least eventually. Maybe that meant she still felt more comfortable with him that she ever could with Gloria.

"No, she didn't," Gloria said tightly, "but it explains why she suddenly seemed to be avoiding you like you had the plague. I though she was just upset because you turned her away once you found out about us."

"I would never do that to her," Healy said defiantly, "there are a lot of things she's done that I might not agree with, her criminal background for one, but I've never judged her or rejected her because of it."

"How nice for her," said Gloria stiffly, "hmm, I suppose you were right when you said I should give her a call." She stood up and walked towards the closed door.

"Mendoza, I never should have said anything," Healy said, as he also stood and walked around the desk towards her. "If I had known she hadn't said anything I wouldn't have brought it up."

"Well, I'm glad you did," said Gloria quietly, "it's good that I know. I'm not sure how important it really is now, it happened over a year ago, after all. It just leaves me with a lot of questions that I need answers to."

"Well, maybe you should wait to ask her them until Nicky is out of the hospital and feeling better," Healy said with concern, "don't upset her when she already has so much else on her mind."

"Don't worry, Mr. Healy," Gloria said tartly, as she opened the door, "you don't need to be her big protector around me."

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"I'm bored," Nicky moaned, as she shoved the crossword puzzle book that Red had bought her from the gift store impatiently away. Her pencil rolled over the edge of the bed, and Nicky felt a flicker of annoyance when Red didn't immediately look up from her book and respond.

"Can you get that for me?" Nicky asked, and Red glanced at her with a mixture of amusement and exasperation in her expression. She put down her book, and removed her violet reading glasses.

"Why do you need a pencil if you're bored of doing crossword puzzles?" Red asked her, as she bent down to pick it back up.

"Maybe I'll stab myself with it to break the monotony," Nicky told her. Red glared at her as she put the pencil on the table, well out of Nicky's reach.

"Don't be vulgar," Red scolded.

"How much longer are they going to make me lie here?" Nicky complained.

"They're taking you back tomorrow," Red reminded her, "and don't remind me. I'm terrified you're going to do something really stupid and rip open your stitches or something like that." She ran her fingers through her hair and gave Nicky a stern look.

"Do you really think I'm that big an idiot?" Nicky asked her in annoyance, leaning back against her pillows and attempting to give Red a look that implied utmost innocence. Red wasn't buying it though.

"Not an idiot," Red ruffled Nicky's hair affectionately, "but I think you're bold."

"Don't forget bored," Nicky reminded her, nudging her head against Red's hand so that she wouldn't stop caressing her.

"That must mean you're getting better," Red commented, tucking a strand of hair behind Nicky's ear, "and thank heavens, you're awfully high maintenance when you don't feel well. Even more than usual."

"You love it," Nicky smiled. Red couldn't resist smiling back, as she leaned forward to kiss Nicky's forehead. "At least I don't have to worry about red lipstick marks all over my face," Nicky teased, "I bet you're mad that they forgot to bring your makeup. I barely recognize you without it."

"Don't get smart with me, little girl," retorted Red, pinching Nicky's cheek a little harder than usual. Nicky scowled and rubbed her face.

"Seriously though," Nicky pressed on, "what is with Vasily's wife? Nobody is that nice."

"She's a sweet girl," Red defended Lida, "I think Vasily's very lucky to have her. I'm sure you two will be good friends once you get to know one another better." Nicky rolled her eyes at that. Vasily, Lida, and Maxim had driven up last night to visit Nicky and bring Red a change of clothes. Yuri had stayed at home to watch his niece and nephew since he had already seen Nicky when he had driven his mother to the hospital.

"The cookies were a little much though, don't you think?" asked Nicky. She linked her thumb through the sleeve of Red's sweater, and tugged. She liked hanging on to Red as a way of confirming that this woman belonged to her.

"Don't try and act like you didn't enjoy them," Red said sternly, "you ate five of them while she was still in the room." The correctional officers had only allowed one visitor, in addition to Red, inside Nicky's room at a time. After Vasily and Maxim had come in, basically just to insult her and tell Nicky she looked like sh!t, Red had insisted Lida come in so that she could introduce the two girls. It had annoyed Nicky to see the sickly-sweet way Lida acted around Red. It was obvious the mother and daughter in-law had become close, and Nicky wasn't sure how she felt about that. She'd been relieved when she first discovered that Red only had sons, she hadn't factored in their wives.

"They were okay," Nicky shrugged, "but yours are better." Red smiled and smoothed Nicky's hair out of her face.

"I'll bake you a batch of mine as soon as I get to bring you home," Red promised, cupping Nicky's face and kissing her forehead once again.

 _Ring, Ring_

"Remind me to show you how to select a different ring tone," Nicky told her, as Red reached for her cell phone, "that one is giving me a headache. Who is it?"

"It's Gloria," Red replied with an excited smile. She answered the call and waited impatiently for the Litchfield message to finish. "Hello? Gloria?"

"Hi, Red," Gloria replied, sounding a little distant and aloof on the phone. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," answered Red, settling herself back into the seat beside Nicky's bed. "Except for the bored and bratty little girl, I have on my hands," she eyed Nicky as she spoke.

"Well that's probably a good sign," replied Gloria, "she must be feeling better."

"She's so eager to get out of this bed," Red told Gloria, speaking about Nicky as though she wasn't even there. "Just make sure she doesn't overdo it when she gets back. She still needs a lot of rest."

"I know," Gloria replied. A silence fell between them as Red waited for Gloria to say more. On her end, Gloria was deciding whether or not to say what she wanted to say. It seemed so silly that it bothered her this much. It was in the past, and she and Red were incredibly happy now. She didn't want to fight with her over something so inconsequential. However, Gloria knew it would nag at her until she said something. "I had a lovely chat with your friend this morning," Gloria began casually.

"What friend?" asked Red.

"Ma, can you give me my crossword puzzle and pencil back," Nicky interrupted, "I promise not to stab myself."

"What the hell does she mean by that?" Gloria asked curiously.

Red handed Nicky the requested items, and then sat back in her chair. "Never mind," she replied, "what were you saying?"

"I spoke with Healy today," Gloria said bluntly, wondering if Red would pick up on the tension in her tone. She didn't.

"Oh, really?" Red asked, holding her hand up so that she could examine her red manicured fingernails, "what about?"

"Well, I asked him about Nicky," Gloria began inconspicuously, "and then we talked about you."

"You talked about me?" Red lowered her hand and sat up a little straighter, "what did you talk about me for?" Nicky looked up from her crossword puzzle with interest.

"At first it was sort of nice, he said I should call you because I was the only person who was able to make you feel better when you were worried about Nicky," Gloria said lightly. Goosebumps flared on Red's pale skin as she waited for Gloria to get to what came next.

"Well that was nice of him," Red said awkwardly, running her fingers through her hair and then lowering it to the back of her neck, where she began to knead her tense muscles.

"Wasn't it?" Gloria exclaimed, in mock cheeriness, "I was actually quite surprised, it seemed quite out of character for him. Although, I suppose you have always brought out the best part of him. That's why the two of you always have had such a special relationship."

Red paused and raised her hand back into her hair where she gripped a clump of it. Her eyes flickered side to side, and she could feel Nicky's eyes burning a hole through her. "What did you do?"Nicky mouthed at her, and Red rolled her eyes and angled herself towards the door, her back to the bed.

"We _had_ a special relationship," Red said thickly, "but besides the other day, I haven't spoken to him in nearly a year. You know that. Things were just too awkward once we were together. He kept trying to make me feel bad about it." She outlined her mouth with her finger tip as she waited for Gloria to respond. Red could tell that Gloria was mad, she wasn't positive exactly what about yet, although she had a pretty strong inclination about what it could be. Why Healy would have brought that up though was beyond her, he had been so nice the other day when they spoke.

"Are you talking about Healy?" Nicky interrupted, "if you are, can I just say gross?" She was sitting straight up in bed and wearing a look of utmost amusement. Red and Gloria could be so dramatic sometimes, or at least Red could be. Gloria usually had a pretty good reason, Nicky had to admit.

"Nicky, be quiet," Red snapped, turning to glare at her daughter in the bed.

"He couldn't have made you feel that bad," Gloria replied, her voice silky and controlled. "Why would you kiss and snuggle up to someone who made you feel bad? I know he didn't pressure you to do _that_. Healy had been quite shocked and then very hurt when he realized that you were only playing him."

Red flushed, feelings of shame creeping through her body. What Gloria was referring to had occurred over a year ago, when she and Gloria had just been beginning. Red still hadn't been certain that she actually wanted or was supposed to be with a woman. Discovering your true sexual orientation at sixty, wasn't exactly a walk in the park. She still didn't understand why Gloria had been so relaxed at the beginning of their relationship. Gloria had only ever been with men before as well.

"Seems serious," Nicky commented, "maybe you should put Gloria on speaker phone so that I can referee?" Red gave Nicky a look of incredulity, which Nicky met with an innocent smile. Nicky didn't believe anything could be that bad between them. They were perfect for one another, as far as she was concerned. Nicky figured Gloria was just mad because Red had probably thrown a big fit the last time they spoke, when Gloria had said she needed time to visit with her boys alone. Red had been bitching to Nicky about Gloria's apparent abandonment of her, ever since.

"I need to get some air," Red said to Nicky tightly, grabbing her purse and walking out of the hospital room without another glance back.

"Sure," Nicky pouted at the shut door, as she rattled her shackles miserably. "Rub it in."

"Gloria, I'm walking down the hall of the hospital now," Red said into the phone, "I wanted to go somewhere more private to talk about this with you."

"Well, time is ticking," Gloria replied, "You know these calls have time limits. So, either start walking really fast, or maybe just start talking now."

"Okay," sighed Red, "what do you want to know?"

"Well, Healy pretty much let me in on why it happened," Gloria said in a no-nonsense tone, "I guess I can understand where you were coming from, even though if you had employed even half a brain cell at the time, you would have realized that there are a million better ways to handle the situation."

Red chose to ignore the insult. "Why did he tell you about that?" she asked bitterly, "is he trying to punish me or something?"

"Uh no, didn't look that way to me," Gloria said coldly, "he actually seemed sort of surprised that you hadn't told me a long time ago. But that was probably because he had just finished going on about what an honest person you are."

"I am an honest person," Red protested, "I just didn't see what would be gained from talking about this. I never lied, I just never talked about it because it was nothing. Just some kisses, and some hand holding. Nothing more, I promise!" Red reached the lobby and sat down on a bench by a water fountain. She had wanted to go outside, but she had forgotten her jacket upstairs in Nicky's room.

"Gloria, as soon as I did that I regretted it. It made me realize how much I loved you and how meant for you I was. I felt nothing when I kissed him. Nothing. It actually reminded me of how it felt to kiss Dmitri, and that made me realize that the reasons why things never really worked between Dmitri and I, might not have been all his fault. I just was never attracted enough to him. Everything is better with you, Gloria. I should have been upfront about all of this. It was very unlike me not to be, but I was just scared that it would make me lose you." Red's voice cracked a little as she spoke and Gloria could tell that she was telling her the truth.

Gloria sighed, "that's what I was hoping to hear," she admitted, and Red let out a little noise that sounded a combination of a snort and a sob. "Don't get me wrong, what you did was really sh!tty. But I'm not going to hold a grudge about a one-time thing that happened when we were just starting out."

"You sounded pretty angry," Red told her, relaxing into her seat as she felt her heart rate begin to slow down. She was irritated that Gloria seemed to get such satisfaction out of messing with her that way.

"Well, I'm not happy," Gloria retorted honestly, "but I know you, and I know how hard this was for you to accept. Things are different now."

"I would never do that again," Red promised, fidgeting with the sleeve of her sweater. "Gloria, I'm proud to be with you, and I never question or worry about it anymore. That's the truth."

"Well, I'm glad to hear you say that because there's something pretty big I need to talk to you about, and I have a feeling that you aren't going to like it," said Gloria, knowing full well Red was about to freak out. Poor Nicky, she was probably going to be in for a long night with her mother.

"What is it?" asked Red suspiciously, as she absentmindedly watched the people passing by.

"I'm tired of this being some big forbidden secret," Gloria told her. "We've been together for over a year now, we love one another, and we're planning to live together and share our lives once I'm out. There is absolutely not one reason why we should be ashamed to tell our kids about this."

"You're not serious?" said Red, gripping the strap of her purse tightly. "Gloria, it's too soon. You're not even out yet, and you said so yourself before that your sons aren't going to like it. Why tell them now before it even matters?"

"Well for starters, I like the idea of letting them get all their anger and tantrums out of the way before I'm home and having to listen to it," Gloria began, "and I also think it's a good idea if they hear it from me directly, before they figure things out for themselves. Don't you feel the same way about your own sons?"

"I think you're overestimating their intelligence," Red retorted, "boys never notice things like that, they're stupid that way."

"I don't know," Gloria teased, "you were being pretty obvious at visitation. You didn't catch the side eye Maxim was giving you?"

"He did no such thing," Red objected, "and of course you want to get telling them out of the way while you're not around. Who the hell do you think they'll take it out on?"

"Oh, surely by now you're used to people being irritated with you?" Gloria said with a slight lilt of humor in her tone. When Red didn't answer, Gloria sighed. "Listen," she began, "I've missed so much time with my kids being stuck in here. They were still little when I left, and when I get out, I'm only going to have a couple years with them before they're all grown up. That's basically nothing, and I don't want to spend that time with them hating me. I want all the cards out on the table now so that I can come home and just enjoy them for the short time I get to have them. Did you know, I never really took the time to enjoy my kids? The connections that your boys have with you, Julio and Benny never really made with me because I never learned how to cherish my time with them, until I lost it." On each side of the phone line, both women's eyes shone with tears.

"How can I say no to that?" Red said quietly. "Tell them if you have to. They can hate me all they want, I'll take it. I'm not going to tell my kids yet though. If one of your boys says something to them I won't deny it, but mine are all grown up and my personal life is really none of their business."

"I think you're just scared to tell them," Gloria said with a slight giggle, but Red could tell from her tone that she was crying. Red's heart broke and she just wanted to go to Gloria at this very moment and hold her. Red hated that she bore some responsibility for Gloria's pain, and she hated that things were so difficult between Gloria and her sons. Gloria was a good person. Someday, her children would realize that.

"Gloria, I'm glad that you get to spend this Saturday alone with your sons," Red said generously. She was sad that she wouldn't get to see her too, but Red knew she needed to help foster Gloria's relationship with her children, even if the only way she could do that was by stepping back.

"Really?" Gloria asked, "you know, I am sad that I'm not going to get to see you."

"Well, someday you'll get to see me everyday," Red told her, and she wiped a stray tear from her cheek where it had dropped.

"That's true," Gloria sniffled, "that will be exhausting. Maybe I should enjoy this little break." Red heaved a deep breath as a silence fell over the line. It wasn't a tense silence like before, it was the sort of silence that can only exist between two people who love and understand one another so well that words sometimes become irrelevant. They were connected through the phone, by more than just their voices.

"Red, my time's up," Gloria said reluctantly.

"Call me again as soon as you can," Red pleaded, her hand gripping the strap of her purse tightly again. Goodbye was always the hardest part, it always came too soon.

"I will," Gloria promised.

"And I'm so sorry about everything," Red said again.

"You don't need to be sorry, anymore," Gloria told her, "it's over and it's in the past where it belongs. Everything is fine between us. You're all mine."

Red smiled, "yes, I'm yours."


	9. Chapter 9

After ending her phone call with Gloria, Red made her way back into Nicky's room. She slumped down in the chair beside the bed and closed her eyes.

"So, do you want to tell me what happened?" asked Nicky, watching Red's eyes shift beneath her closed lids. "Well…." She prodded.

"Nicky," Red groaned, shaking her head and massaging her temples, as though she had a very bad headache, "not now."

"What?" Nicky said defiantly, "you'll feel better if you tell me. Besides, I'm going back to prison tomorrow, and that means I'll see Gloria. You really want me to get her side of the story before you tell me yours?"

"Gloria, wouldn't tell you sh!t," Red grumbled, opening her eyes a smidge to regard her daughter.

"No, she totally will," Nicky said happily, "we're friends now, we talk about everything. She even told me about that time the two of you snuck into Healy's office after dark and did you know what, on top of his desk."

"That never happened!" Red exclaimed in outrage, and Nicky burst out laughing.

"Okay, okay," Nicky relented, "maybe she never told me that, but seriously, all jokes aside, are you okay? We don't have much time left together, we shouldn't waste the time we have left bullsh!tting."

"Mmmmmm," Red buried her face in her hand. After a moment, she spread her fingers so that she could look at Nicky through them. "Gloria, is going to tell her sons about us this weekend."

"Well, that explains why you're acting so crazy," Nicky smacked her lips together and raised her eyebrows. "You're upset because you don't think they're going to take it well? I mean, I don't think they will either, and I only met them that one time. You can't really blame them though, huh? A scary, old, Russian lady who just got let out of prison isn't exactly the sort of parental figure kids dream about. Besides me, I mean." Red glared at her.

"Oh, come on," Nicky coaxed with a smile, "that was supposed to be a joke! I'm kidding. This day was always going to come eventually," Nicky soothed. "Just think, the sooner they find out, the sooner they'll be done freaking out about it."

"As far as I'm concerned, those boys are Gloria's problem," Red said in a clipped tone, "if they want me in their life, I'll be happy to be there. If they don't, well that's no problem. I have my own children and grandchildren, to keep me busy."

"Whatever happened to the packaged deal crap?" asked Nicky bluntly, "or does that only apply when we're talking about your side of the family?" Nicky's eyes bulged, as she spoke the hard truth. She was never afraid to put Red in her place when she needed it.

Red lowered her hand, but pressed her index finger towards her mouth. "That's why Gloria shouldn't be telling them now, when she's not there to soften the blow," she said bitterly, "but Gloria thinks they'll only take it harder if they discover they've been lied to for so many years."

"Uh, yeah," Nicky said matter-of-factly, "of course they would, wouldn't you? Nobody likes to be lied to or have things kept from them, and that includes your sons too. When are you planning to tell them?"

"When they ask," Red replied shortly.

"Oh, yeah?" Nicky widened her eyes knowingly, "good plan, Red!" she praised her sarcastically. "I hope you realize that they're never going to ask you. They'll figure it on their own because, let's admit it, you're not the best at exactly being subtle around Gloria, or maybe even one of Gloria's kids will tell them. Then it will just become this huge awkward elephant in the room that makes everybody feel weird. Why don't you try talking to them like people, and telling them about her in a normal, not crazy way? Don't make a big deal out of this."

Red sighed, "I guess..."

"Are you going to tell them then?" Nicky asked.

"Someday," Red replied vaguely, "When the timing feels right."

"I'm going to miss you," Nicky admitted, staring at their entwined hands, as she enjoyed the weight of Red's head against her shoulder.

"I'm going to miss you too," Red admitted, "so very much. I'm glad I was able to stay with you these last few days." She gripped Nicky's chin with her hand, and turned Nicky's face towards her. "It will be alright," she promised.

"You always say that," Nicky grumbled.

"That's because it's what I believe," Red told her. "You'll be home soon-think about Gloria. You'll be out, and she'll be stuck in there for almost an entire year without either of us."

"She'll probably think of it as a vacation after all the trouble we give her," Nicky joked quietly.

"We?" Red exclaimed in outrage, "what do I do?"

"What don't you do?" laughed Nicky, "you're just as much trouble as me. Gloria says you're where I get all my naughty behaviour from."

"Naughty?" Red laughed in spite of herself, squeezing Nicky's hand affectionately, "are you sure you want to be saddled with such a naughty mother?"

"Those are the best kind," Nicky smiled shyly, "at least it's never boring."

"You've been complaining you were bored all day," Red reminded her.

Nicky lay on her back, slightly angled by the bed. She reached out to hold Red's hand. Red smiled and gave her an affectionate squeeze. Nicky tried to shift herself closer towards the edge of the bed where Red was, but the shackles on her arm and leg made that strapped to a bed was probably one of the worst feelings she had experienced since her incarceration. It was terrible reminder that she was not free; she was a prisoner, tied down like the vicious animal society wanted to believe all inmates were.

Red was free now though, and as much as Nicky wanted to believe nothing had changed, she had noticed several subtle differences in the last few days. Her hair seemed, to Nicky, to be an even more vivid red, if that was even possible. Her face was currently free of makeup, but its naturalness suited her, in Nicky's opinion. Even spending several nights sleeping on the edge of a hospital mattress, could not disguise how Red seemed infinitely better rested, more peaceful, and lighter than Nicky had ever known her to be. Nicky couldn't see any trace of the usual severity that Red had maintained at Litchfield. She wasn't a formidable inmate anymore, she was just Nicky's mother. Red's family had always been the most important thing to her, but now it was the only thing that seemed to exist and be relevant. Red had always loved fiercely, but she at last seemed to be feeling the reciprocation of her children's affection. The way her sons, Lida, and grandchildren had carolled around her with endearment and support, meant more to Red than she ever would be able to articulate. Nicky could sense the differences, however, and thought that Red looked and seemed younger, in so many ways. With all these changes, Nicky was almost grateful for her appendicitis, if only to enjoy the benefits of watching how quickly Red had rushed to her side, and barely left it, this entire time. She was grateful to have had these few days with Red, and be reassured of her forever place in the centre of her mother's heart.

"Nicky," Red's thick accent broke Nicky out of her train of thought, "how are you supposed to act towards children in a relationship?"

"It depends," Nicky considered."It's not easy. Gloria's kids are probably not going to like you at first. You're just another change they need to deal with and it's going to be difficult for you all."

"So, basically, you're saying there's nothing I can do," Red pursed her lips, and her hold on Nicky tightened.

"No, there is," Nicky said reasonably, "but not as much as you'd like. A lot of how they'll respond to you will be based on their relationship with Gloria, and how Gloria handled past relationships. If she exposed her kids to some shady characters in the past, then you're going to have a hard time earning their trust. Since her kids don't seem to like her most of the time, I could see them taking their frustration with Gloria out on you because they know you're an effective way to hurt her."

"Well that sounds horrible," Red rolled her eyes, "thanks, Nicky." She sat up in the bed, and began fidgeting with the white blankets, she had pulled over them.

"Come on," Nicky said encouragingly, "why would you be scared of some stupid teenagers? Look, this is my advice. Don't act fake nice, don't let them disrespect you, don't interfere with their relationship with Gloria, she can handle them herself. Just let them know that you're another person who wants to be there for them, and then go live your own life and wait for them to come to you. Alright?"

"What if they tell my sons?" Red balled Nicky's blanket with her fists.

"Well, maybe you should tell them first so you don't have to worry about that," Nicky said meaningfully, "we've already talked about this, you know they'd want to know the truth."

"I'm not lying to them," Red protested, "I'm just keeping certain subjects from them." She released her grip on the blankets, and shoved them away from her, as though she were suddenly too hot.

"Is there really much difference between deliberate lying or deliberate withholding of the truth?" Nicky rolled her eyes, "you'd consider them one and the same, if you were in their shoes. Remember how mad you got when you found out that they never told you about the store closing? Well isn't this sort of like that?"

Red covered her face with her hands, and pressed her index fingers into the corners of her eyes. "Alright, I'll tell them," Red said grudgingly, "even though I really don't want to."

"What's the worst that could happen?" Nicky laughed, "if they disown you, at least you'll still have me." At the horrified look on Red's face, Nicky stopped laughing at once. "I'm kidding," she told her, squeezing Red's shoulder, "that would never happen. Those three are the biggest mama's boys I've ever seen, and I bet they're going to be really happy for you, once they get used to the idea."

"Let's stop talking about this for now," Red sighed, giving Nicky a small and uncertain smile, "let's talk about you. This is our time together, and we're going to have to say goodbye soon. I don't want to waste it worrying about tomorrow."

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Tomorrow came much too fast. One-minute Red and Nicky were having breakfast, and in a flash, she was watching her daughter being wheeled away from her. Tomorrow always came so fast when you were dreading it.

"Nicky seems well," Vasily told his mother conversationally, as he escorted her out to his car. "I noticed a difference just from the other day when I last saw her, she's not quite so pale."

"She's much better," Red agreed, "thank goodness I was able to stay with her these last few days." Red opened the passenger door and slid into her seat.

"Well, we all really missed you at home," Vasily told her with a smile, patting his mother's hand briefly, before starting the ignition. Red couldn't resist a smile. She had missed them too. Red was finding it harder and harder to understand how she had survived the agony of being away from her family for so many years. Even a few days was difficult now. Red supposed she had survived it because she had not had another choice.

"You must be exhausted," Vasily observed, as he pulled onto the highway and they began the drive back to the city. "Let's get you home, and you can have a shower and maybe get some sleep. Are you going back to visit Nicky tomorrow for visitation?"

"No," Red answered, "I didn't want to make you boys drive me back up here so soon, after all the back and forth you guys did this week." She flexed her fingers and glanced sideways at her son, "maybe I should get a driver's license, then I can go by myself and not inconvenience you."

"You driving?" Vasily smiled, "that's a frightening image. Have you ever even driven before? You've always walked everywhere or taken the bus."

"My father taught me how to drive when I was sixteen," Red defended herself, "and that was in a manual truck." Vasily smiled at the image of his mother young, bold, and driving around an old truck through the insane traffic of Moscow. It was strange to think of her as a young girl with a father. In Vasily's mind, she had always just been his mother.

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The drive back to the prison was uncomfortable for Nicky, as she was bumped and jostled in the back of the prison van. Her hands were cuffed, and she was feeling quite sore from the exertion of climbing into the tall van, after being bedridden for a week. The doctor had prescribed some painkillers and said she was to continue resting for the most part, which meant she was exempted from work for awhile longer. That was nice.

The van was waved through the Litchfield gates and Nicky was hurried back into the wheelchair, the guards had pushed her out of the hospital with. As she went through the security, Nicky couldn't help commenting mouthily on the irony of the prison officials concern with letting her walk unassisted, but their insistence at still forcing her to squat and cough. That had been excruciating. Her mouth got her nowhere, but it had felt good to express some of her frustration. Nicky was already missing Red terribly. She had hated seeing Vasily show up to drive their mother home, as if she had only been on loan to Nicky for a few days and he was now reclaiming her.

After her strip search, Nicky was seated back in the chair, and the guard wheeled her down the hall towards the common room. A hush seemed to fall across the room, as all the inmates turned to stare at her, the way they always did when somebody returned. Anything different was entertainment in prison. Nicky was almost falling asleep in the chair by that point, so she didn't even notice Gloria in the room, playing cards with Flores and another inmate.

"I'll take her," Gloria announced to the guard, her voice echoing throughout the quiet room. She got up from the table and walked over to Nicky. Gloria gripped the handlebars of Nicky's chair and began to wheel her in the direction of the suburbs dormitory.

Nicky leaned her head back and smiled. "I can't believe I'm going to say this," Nicky joked weakly, her fatigue obvious, "but I really missed you, Gloria."

"Oh, really? Are you going to prove it to me by resting in your bed and doing everything I tell you for at least a week?" Gloria asked in amusement.

"Probably not," Nicky replied, "I may go outside and build a snowman this afternoon, just to spite you." Gloria snorted at Nicky's determination to always be bratty, and could not resist the urge to give Nicky's shoulder an affectionate squeeze, as they arrived at Nicky's cube.

"Alright, last stop," Gloria announced, stopping the wheelchair right next to Nicky's cot, "everybody off." Nicky heaved herself out of the chair, and immediately laid back down on her bed. She rested one arm above her head on the pillow, and watched in amusement, through heavy eyes, as Gloria cursed and struggled to figure out how to fold up the chair.

"Hey, Nichols!" Alex said enthusiastically, as she walked into the cube, skidding around Gloria. She crouched down on the floor next to her friend. "I heard you were back! How are you feeling?"

"Like sh!t," Nicky admitted to her, "though slightly less so now because at least I can say I know how to push a button and fold up a wheelchair without too much commotion." Gloria was still struggling with the chair, and growing increasingly more irritated as she muttered some choice words in Spanish.

"You want some help Gloria?" Alex laughed, standing back up and taking the wheelchair from Gloria. She collapsed it in singular motion and propped it up against the wall.

"How the f**k did you do that?" Gloria asked in annoyance, "never mind, I don't care. You can be in charge of hauling her around in that thing for the next couple of days."

"I don't even need it," Nicky informed her, "there's nothing wrong with my legs." She flexed her leg into the air, as if to demonstrate its fineness.

"How was Red when you left?" Gloria asked.

"Okay," Nicky shrugged.

"She got to visit you in the hospital?" Alex asked.

"She was there the entire time," Gloria answered for Nicky.

"That does not surprise me in the least," Alex laughed.

"I think we should let you get some rest," Gloria said to Nicky.

"Oh, come on, Gloria," Nicky protested, "I just got back. Don't you want me to tell you everything Red said about you to me?"

"It can wait," Gloria rolled her eyes. "I'm going to go back to the kitchen to start on lunch. Try to take it easy, you've just had major surgery." She gave Nicky a knowing look, and then she walked away.

"You have more mothers than anyone I've ever known," Alex observed, sitting next to Nicky's feet on the bunk. "it must be nice to be so loved."

"Speaking of love," Nicky said slyly, "feel like helping a girl out?" She reached for Alex's hand and raised her eyebrows suggestively.

"Gosh, that is all you think about," Alex rolled her eyes, and withdrew her hand, "have you forgotten about Piper? She's visiting me tomorrow. You're just going to have to find somebody else to play with around here."

Nicky sighed.

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"Okay, they'll be here soon," Gloria said, trying to hide her anxiety behind her ordinary bad mood, but Nicky could tell she was stressing. "You'll be okay while I'm gone?" She was standing in the entrance of the cube, having just escorted Nicky back to bed after lunchtime.

"Why wouldn't I be?" asked Nicky, settling her covers over herself and reaching for the book of crosswords that Red had bought her at the hospital, and which the guards had mercifully allowed her to bring back into the prison.

"I don't know," Gloria shrugged, shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

"You're almost as bad as Red," Nicky observed.

"What do you mean?" Gloria asked defiantly, forcing herself to stand still.

"Freaking out about how your kids are going to react," Nicky explained. "It's sort of sweet, I guess, I mean Marka never gave a f**k about my feelings, so it's cute for me to see the two of you losing it over this, but you need to calm down. If those kids smell fear on you, they'll eat you alive. Just go in there, and show them you're proud of being with Red, and explain to them that you want to tell them about her because you love them and respect them too much to keep it a secret."

"I don't know," Gloria said stoically, "whenever I tried that get down to your kid's level and talk it out with them, approach to parenting, it just seemed to infuriate them more. And then I'd yell."

"Don't yell," Nicky told her simply, "just tell them like it is, and then let them go home and process it all. Just make sure they know that you're always going to be their mom first and foremost."

"Right," nodded Gloria, "thanks Nicky. I'm going to go wait for them now. You take it easy while I'm gone, alright?"

"That's all I ever do these days," Nicky replied, as Gloria walked away. Gloria headed down the hallway towards the visitation room. Lourdes had promised to bring them, and she wanted to see them when they arrived. She could usually tell just by glimpsing them through the window, whether or not the visit that day would be a good one or not. Benny wore his heart on his sleeve, and his face always revealed what he was feeling. Gloria hoped he'd be in a receptive mood today, he had been happy on the phone when she'd told them that they were going to visit that weekend, just them.

"Hi papi," Gloria exclaimed as she walked into the visitation room and wrapped Julio in her arms. Benny was hanging slightly back, but when Gloria reached out an arm to him, he fell into her, allowing Gloria a brief and wonderful moment of holding her two boys together.

"How are you guys?" Gloria asked them, as she took her seat across the table from them. "Tia Lourdes, didn't want to come in?" In actuality, Gloria had called and asked Lourdes if she could visit with just the boys alone. She hadn't told her why, but she knew Lourdes had her suspicions why. Gloria had told her aunt about being in love with Red awhile back, and Lourdes had been supportive, although they hadn't spoken about Red again since. Gloria suspected that Lourdes wasn't really comfortable with knowing too many details, although she was happy Gloria was with somebody who treated her well and obviously brought her a lot of joy.

"She brought her book and is waiting in the car," Julio said, sitting straight up in his chair with his arms folded on the table. Gloria could tell he was happy it was just them today.

"Well that's alright," Gloria replied, "gives me some time with just you guys. I've missed you." She reached across the table, and patted Julio's hand.

"Come on, mom," Benny rolled his eyes in mock annoyance, "it's only been a week." Benny was slouched in his seat with his arms crossed, trying to look irritated, but the warmth in his brown eyes undermined the act.

"Well, a lot can happen in a week," Gloria told him, "so what have you guys been up to? I want to hear everything. You have another basketball game, Benny?"

"Just practice this week," Benny replied, "we play a different team next Friday, but we have to travel to their school for the game. My coach said he could give us a lift there, since he lives in that area, but I still need to find a ride home."

"Can't Lourdes pick you up?" asked Gloria.

"Friday's her late day," answered Benny, "but she said she'd try and get there. Vasily said he needs to work that night, but he'll stop by afterward if she can't make it." Gloria's heart fluttered at the mention of Red's son. Despite any tension or resentment, the boys may have had about Red and her family imposing on their visit with her, Benny still seemed to regard Red's sons quite amicably. Red, herself, might be a different story, after she had scolded Benny at visitation last week, but Gloria would take what she could get.

"That's good, baby," she told him. She turned to Julio, "and what about you, huh? School going okay?"

"It's good," said Julio vaguely, "one of my teacher's, Mrs. Sanders, she's been asking me if I'm giving any thought to college yet."

"College?" Gloria blinked, "you still have two and a half years left of high school to get through first." Gloria hung onto that half-a-year with much reverence, because that was what she would have with her oldest son once she was released from prison. Half a year of him being home with her before he started a grown-up life. Maybe she'd get lucky, and he'd want to live with her a little longer. Gloria had never really given college too much thought for him before, if she were being honest. Julio was a smart and dedicated boy, but nobody in her family had ever gone to college before. She liked the idea of it though.

"Yeah, but I need to start planning now if I want to go," Julio explained, "because I need to make sure I take the right high school classes to be eligible, and I need to figure out how to save the money up to go." Gloria patted his hand encouragingly. She wished she could make life easier for him, provide the money and the opportunities that Julio was striving so hard to achieve on his own.

"Maybe you can get a scholarship?" Gloria said hopefully, "you're so smart, and you have good grades, and I think there are grants and things for kids who come from harder backgrounds. Having an imprisoned mother would probably qualify you." She said it with a touch of dark humour, but she knew it was probably true. Her failures, might be able to be twisted into getting her boy a step up in the right direction he was trying to go in. Gloria wanted those things for him. Every good parent wants their children to grow up and do better than they did and Gloria had set such an insanely low standard that she knew that was definitely an achievable goal. However, Gloria didn't just want her kids to do better than her, she wanted them to do great.

"Mrs. Sanchez was telling me about some scholarships that I could apply for," Julio told her, "and she is giving me more advanced work in math because I can already do all the stuff she's teaching."

"You're such a teacher's pet, Julio," Benny rolled his eyes at the ceiling.

"Nothing wrong with that," Gloria defended Julio to his brother, "especially if she helps you with what you want to do. I'm proud of you, baby."

"I might get an after-school job soon," Julio pressed on enthusiastically, relishing in his mother's praise. Gloria wasn't the sort of the mother who said you were great for no reason. You had to earn her praise, and Julio had always thrived in finding ways to receive it.

"Why don't you wait until summer vacation?" suggested Gloria, "focus on school, and then work in the summer to save money if you want. Julio, I promise when I get out of here, I will work and do anything I can to help you, if this is something you really want to do. She turned meaningfully to look at Benny, "that goes for both of you."

"Me?" Benny laughed, "I don't think I'm the college type, Mom."

"Maybe not," Gloria agreed, "but you're good at a lot of things and you're a smart boy. I just want you guys to be happy, whatever that means to you, I'll support it." Both boys seemed pleased, and a little surprised, by their mother's blatant encouragement. She reminded them that she would be getting out of there someday not too far away. Maybe things would be better then, maybe she would be a different mom. Julio and Benny had always known that their mother loved them, but she had often been angry, tired, and stressed; Gloria would get into relationships with the wrong sort of men, and they all would be miserable because of it. Julio and Benny had still been very little when Gloria was sent to prison, but they were old enough to remember that their childhood with Gloria had not always been happy times. Still, they loved her deeply; she was the only mother they had, and they were ready for her to come home.

"You mean that?" Benny asked, in regards to his mother's promise of unconditional love and support.

"With all my heart," Gloria affirmed. She hesitated for a moment, shifting her gaze from side to side, and then casting her gaze upon each of her sons in turn. She took a deep breath. "I want things to be different when I come home," she began, "I want them to be better. I know I wasn't always the best mother to you, I was very hard on you a lot of the time. I really regret that now, but I honestly was trying my best back then." She cleared her throat, her heart pounding.

"When I come home, things are going to be different," she said, and both boys' faces creased into scrutinizing frowns. Their mother rarely got as sentimental as she seemed to be getting right now. "I still have a couple more years to do, so what I'm going to tell you won't change things for you or really influence your life at all. At least not right away. I wasn't going to tell you this until later, but I changed my mind because if I were in your shoes, I would want to know. I respect you guys enough to tell you the truth, and I'll answer any questions you have when I'm done. Just promise me that you'll let me finish first, okay? Don't yell, don't walk out, just please listen to me, and then I'll listen to you." Julio and Benny both looked worried and intrigued, but Gloria thought her rehearsed speech was coming out as well as she could have hoped. She had been planning and mentally practicing what she was going to say since she had decided to tell them about Red.

"I know that last week you guys were upset and a little confused about why we were visiting with the Reznikov family, instead of just by ourselves," Gloria continued, staring at her hands which were clasped on the table in front of her. Her voice was shaky, but controlled, "It was wrong of us to force that on you guys, and we should have planned it out better. The reason we did that, was because Red and I were really happy to see each other again. She got out recently, and we've missed each other very much since then. She was here to see Nicky, but she was also here to see me."

"Okay?" said Julio questioningly, he stole a glance at his brother, but Benny did not meet his eye, he was too busy staring at the ground.

"We became good friends in here," Gloria continued, "but then it turned into something more. It wasn't something that either of us had planned on happening. We were both surprised about it actually, and tried to ignore it for a long time, but finally we couldn't. She and I love each other very much." Julio's face reddened in awkward embarrassment. He wished he could disappear or do anything to excuse himself from this excruciating conversation. Benny seemed to slouch even lower in his chair, but his face remained stony and still, and he continued to avert his eyes.

"I care very deeply for her, and I know that I want to be with her. She makes me very happy, and she treats me better than anyone else ever has that I've ever been with," Gloria finished and stole a glance at each of her sons. Gloria's hands were clenched very tightly together, and her heart was hammering in her chest, but she always felt like a huge burden had been lifted off of her. The hardest part was already done.

"Wait, so you're a lesbian now?" Benny exclaimed, looking up at her.

"Well, I guess you could say that," Gloria said quietly, "I'm in a relationship with a woman." She smoothed her hair back with a single hand, and then clasped them back together, tapping her foot repeatedly on the floor.

"Isn't she sort of old?" asked Julio, even the tips of his ears were pink, he was so embarrassed. This was worse than when Gloria had asked Lourdes to give them the sex talk a few years ago.

"She's older than me," Gloria admitted, "but not by that much, and it doesn't make a difference to either of us."

"This is so embarrassing," Benny groaned, letting his head fall forward into his hands. "It's bad enough our mom is in prison, now we have to find out you started doing gay stuff in prison too." Gloria chose to ignore what he said, he was entitled to his feelings.

"So that's what you mean when you said things will be different," Benny said coldly, his face filled with fury. "You didn't really mean you'd be a better mother, you just said that to soften us up first. What you really meant was that you're making us move in with a crazy old Russian lady that you're having a lesbian relationship with."

"It's a lot to get used to," Gloria said calmly, her foot continuing to tap on the floor, "but that's why I wanted to tell you now. We have a few years to get used to this, and I think this is going to be good for us all in the end."

"You're just saying that," said Julio reproachfully, "that's what you said about Arturo, while he was beating you up in front of us, and smacking Benny around."

Gloria swallowed a sob and her eyes watered. It was unfair of him to bring up Arturo now. This situation was nothing like that. Gloria would never repeat those mistakes again. "You already know and are close with her sons," Gloria reminded them, "they are a lot like her."

"Is that why they've been so nice to us?" asked Benny angrily, "did she make them just so we would like her."

"Of course not," Gloria replied, "they don't even know about us yet, so I can assure you they have no hidden agenda. They like you guys because you're great kids and fun to be around. Red asked them to give you guys drives up here time to time, but the friendships you have with them all happened naturally." Gloria rested her elbow on the table and rubbed at her neck with her hand.

"I don't know if I believe that," Benny said bitterly, "in any case, I'm telling Vasily to stay the f**k away from my game next week." He slouched down further in his seat so that his eyes were in line with the table.

"Vasily doesn't know about his mother being with me," Gloria reminded him, "he's not going to understand why you are upset with him. But if you need some space for awhile, that's your call. Just don't be rude about it."

"Visiting hours have come to an end," the correctional officer announced to the room loudly, "visitors please say your goodbyes and make your way towards the exit."

"F**k," Gloria cursed quietly, "okay, we'll talk more on the phone later," she told them, trying to sound positive. She stood up, and the boys mirrored her. "Will you give me a hug goodbye?" she pleaded, "Julio?" Julio reluctantly walked towards his mother and gave her an awkward hug. "I love you, baby," Gloria whispered.

"Love you too, mom," said Julio shyly, "I'll talk to you later, okay?" Gloria nodded, and kissed his forehead before releasing him.

"Benny?" she asked hesitantly, "Papi, please?" Benny was standing behind his chair, refusing to look at her. At his mother's pleading, however, he walked over and gave her a loose one-armed hug. He moved back extremely quickly. "Thank you," Gloria told him quietly. "Have a safe drive back to the city, okay? I'll call you tomorrow." The boys walked away from her without another word. It was excruciating to see them walk away like that, but Gloria knew it could have been much worse.


	10. Chapter 10

Red spent her Saturday at her local branch of the New York Public Library. Since she wasn't going to visit Gloria and Nicky today, she decided it would be a good idea to do something productive to distract herself. It would be useless to hang around the house brooding, and spending time with her family today would only remind Red of how much she missed the two ladies who were not there. So, she had ended up at the library, browsing the shelves aimlessly before settling herself at a computer, and asking a technician to show her how to work it. Her sons certainly would have found the image of their sixty-year-old mother learning to operate a computer, for the first time in her life, wholeheartedly entertaining. They had gotten enough amusement, at her expense, when they had taught her how to text and make calls from her cell phone. Red felt much more comfortable alone at the library, where nobody knew her. She had intended to use the computer to type up a resume, but instead, Red found herself completely enthralled by the wonders of the internet, and spent her entire morning googling every subject she could think of.

Her phone vibrated, and Red hastily answered it. "Hello?" she said distractedly, as she pulled out the headphones she had been using to listen to different videos that she had stumbled upon. _An inmate from Litchfield Penitentiary is attempting to contact you. To accept this call, please press 1._ Red hastily pressed one. "Hello?" she said again.

"Hey, you," Gloria's voice spoke, and Red could almost hear the tired smile she knew would be on Gloria's face at the moment.

"Gloria?" Red asked anxiously, "how is everything?" She bit her lip in anticipation, but could not resist the impulse to mindlessly continue to scroll, using the mouse the way the guy had shown her how to do. It was really addictive.

"Well, they're gone now," Gloria told her monotonously, "it went as well as I could have hoped it would."

"Uh huh, that's good," said Red distractedly, "whose gone?" she asked, "Your sons?".

"You're not even listening to me," Gloria said irritably, "what the f**k are you doing?" Red closed the screen so that there would be no more distractions.

"I'm sorry," Red apologized, getting up from the computer and walking out into the foyer. "I'm at the library and I was on the computer. It actually made me forget about everything I was stressing about today, for a little while. Have you ever used one before? It's wonderful! All the information in the world is the wires!"

"You mean the internet?" Gloria snorted, "yeah, Red, I know a thing or two about that. So that's what you've been getting up to today? It sounds like you're been having fun!"

"Did you ever notice how amusing cats are?" Red asked, "there are bazillions of videos of cats doing the most peculiar things. It's so funny." She leaned against the wall, and looked out at the snowy street of New York, where people were bustling past as they hurried to get out of the frigid air. "Maybe we should get a cat once you're out? That would really help make our house into a home. Although, Nicky probably would want a dog," she rolled her eyes, "filthy animals."

"Shouldn't we focus on finding a place to live, and us getting out of prison, before you start shopping for pets?" asked Gloria.

However, Red's thoughts were still evidently a mile a way, racing at lightning speed, and distracting her from anything substantive. "We could call her _Solntse_ , that's Russian for sun," she continued to ramble, "Isn't that pretty?"

"I can't even pronounce that," Gloria told her, "are you there all by yourself? I'm not so sure it's wise for your kids to be letting you out of the house unsupervised. Maybe I should call them." Gloria cleared her throat, "anyways, I wanted to talk to you about the boys. Do you want to hear about that? Or would you prefer to keep naming imaginary dogs?"

"I don't want a dog," Red corrected her, "I'd rather get a cat because when I was a little girl, I…" she heard Gloria sigh on the line, and she stopped talking at once. I'm sorry," Red said again, "I'm just excited. Yes, of course I want to hear about how it went. Although, I'm almost positive there will be nothing good to say. Am I right?"

"Sort of," Gloria admitted, "I mean, I never expected them to take it well. The positives are that nobody stormed out, yelled, or disowned me; at least not yet." Red began to pace around the foyer, as she waited uneasily for Gloria to continue. "They both hugged me goodbye," Gloria pressed on, "although, Benny really didn't want to."

"If he really didn't want to, he wouldn't have," Red told her wisely, "I bet he just acted that way because he didn't want to let you off the hook too easily. He's going to punish you for awhile."

"I feel like he's been punishing me since the day he was born," Gloria admitted with a sigh, "but he handled it better than I thought. He's convinced your boys only pretended to like him now because you made them, but I told him that they know nothing about anything. In time, he'll realize that and it will be okay."

"He has a lot to be angry about," Red told Gloria, "he's not my child, so I might be wrong in saying this, but I've always found that the kids who need love the most will always ask for it in the most unloving ways. Nicky used to be like that, but look at what a good girl she is now." A man stood up from the bench he had been reading the paper on, and Red swiftly took his seat before somebody else could occupy it.

"That all sounds good over the phone," Gloria replied, "until you remember that I'm in prison, and not exactly in a position to be passing out too much love. I wish I could."

"You're not going to be in there forever," Red reminded her, resting her elbow on the bar of the bench, as she held her phone firmly against her ear. "I didn't get Nicky until she was almost thirty. I don't think it's ever too late, if it's something you both want. I know you want to make things better with them, and I'm positive that they want that too. Anybody can see how much they love you."

"You're not just saying that?" Gloria asked her quietly, her voice lacking its usual strength and confidence. Motherhood, the component of her identity that most defined her, also was her greatest source of angst and regret. Gloria loved her boys but, if she were being honest, she didn't always like them. That was the deepest burden of her heart, and her greatest source of shame.

"No!" Red exclaimed, her pitch rising an octave from its intensity, "Gloria, I promise. I mean every word I say."

"Does that mean you were really serious about naming our future pet after some Russian word that nobody will be able to say?" Gloria teased, "or was that part just your crazy surfacing?"

Red hiccupped. "You know what I would do if I were you?" she said seriously.

"What?" asked Gloria.

Red crossed her leg, and alternated her cell phone to her other ear because it was getting uncomfortably hot against her face. "I would call up your sons and make sure that they are alright. Don't say anything more about us, unless they ask, just let them know you're thinking about them."

"They won't speak to me," Gloria said, "they never do when they get moody like that. If I try and make them talk, it only provokes them."

"You don't need to make them talk," Red said adamantly, "you just need to let them know you're there if they want to. Besides, it would be a good idea to speak to your aunt about them. Keep updated on all their stuff so that you can jump right in once you're home."

"I guess I'll talk to Lourdes," Gloria agreed, "I have to admit that I'm pretty curious to know if they said anything on the drive home."

"Did they say anything about me to you?" Red asked hesitantly, embarrassed at how nervous she sounded. It was ridiculous that two pubescent boys could unnerve her as much as they did. She'd done almost two decades in federal prison, and yet she was intimidated by two teenagers. Red would never admit this aloud, even to Gloria, but she really wanted them to like her. However, her cringeworthy history of trying to befriend and impress unlikely people in the past, had convinced Red that it was best if she didn't try too hard. Instead, she was hoping that supporting Gloria and helping her to bridge the divide that existed between mother and sons, would demonstrate to them that she was not their enemy. Maybe then they would like her.

"No," Gloria lied, "only what I already told you they said about your sons. Benny said they probably had ulterior motives in befriending them, but I know he'll come around." Gloria would rather gouge her eyes out than tell Red her sons had called her old and crazy. Nothing would be gained from that besides making Red sad, and that was something Gloria would avoid doing at all costs.

Red let out the breath she had been holding. "I love you, Gloria," she said meaningfully, as relief surged through her.

"I love you too," Gloria smiled, "I think I'll take your advice and call Lourdes now. You can go back to watching stupid cat videos or whatever the f**k you were doing. Did you have any real purpose for being at the library today?"

"I want to find a job," Red admitted, "I'm getting restless without work, and if I start making some money, I can start looking for a home for us."

"Well, look at you," said Gloria in amusement, "aren't you cute? And here I was imagining that you were going to stay home, keep house, and look pretty for me." Red giggled. "I'll leave you to that, then."

"Make sure you ask to speak to the boys," Red reminded her, "try and talk to them, but if they won't, then talk to Lourdes. They need to know that you want them the most."

"Okay, smarty pants," Gloria teased, "I promise. I love you and I'll talk to you tomorrow." When they hung up, Red got up and decided to take a walk down the street. It was cold, but she was craving some fresh air and the solitude that came from being outside in the world, surrounded by a sea of people, but completely anonymous. Such a welcome change after being forever on display to guards and other inmates. After being reconnected to her family, regaining her privacy was what Red appreciated the most about being free. She buttoned her coat up and stepped out into the crisp February evening. The sky was dark, it always got dark so early in the winter, but the lights of the city all looked beautiful to Red as she walked. As supportive as she had been to Gloria, a lot was weighing on Red's mind. It troubled her to have their life hanging in such a delicate balance between what was right for the children and what was right for them. Red would never give up Gloria, but it would torment her if Benny and Julio never accepted her. Red's children were all grown up and her job was basically done, but Gloria's weren't. Red couldn't help but care about them, they were a part of Gloria after all, and she always believed that children came first in all things. She had based her entire life around that belief. Red's life had always been one of servitude and sacrifice for the sake of her babies. She had given up her chance at true love, when she'd remained in a loveless marriage for the sake of her sons, and she'd given up her freedom in order to protect her family from dangerous people who wouldn't hesitate to harm them if she'd fallen out of line. Red needed it to be about the children; it was why she encouraged Gloria to call and never cease trying to win back her sons. It was the best part of her, but it also caused her the most grief.

Feeling her phone vibrating in her pocket, Red pulled it out. "Hello?" she said into it, covering her other ear with her hand to block out the noise of the traffic.

"Hey Ma, it's just me," said Vasily. "I'm just calling to check in, you know, make sure you're still alive and not lost, or anything," he laughed as if he were only joking, but Red knew it wasn't too far from the truth.

"Vasily Reznikov, I'm about to hang up this phone on you," Red said sternly, heading off of the main road so she could hear a little better. "Don't you dare treat me like a senile old lady!"

"Ah Mamochka, I'm just kidding," Vasily laughed, "but I can't help but worry a little. This freedom is all still new to you, and I don't want you to get overwhelmed."

"Now you're treating me like a child," Red said in a hurt voice. She hated that her sons thought her incapable of doing the most mundane things on her own. She had tolerated Lida babysitting her for a few days, truthfully, she had been grateful for the support at first, but her independence was important to her. Red stopped walking and leaned against the wall of a building, resting the sole of her black boot against the bricks.

Vasily paused. "I'm sorry, mama," he said, "I don't mean to. I just love you, you know? I'll stop calling just to check up on you. I know you don't need me to. I had another reason for calling you right now though, anyway. Lourdes Mendoza, you know Benny and Julio's aunt? She called and wanted to talk to you."

Red's breath got caught in her throat, as panic shot through her veins, making her feel weak at the knees. What could Gloria have said that would make her aunt seek her out this way? Red placed a hand against the brick wall to steady herself, and tried to calm herself down before she replied. "Did she say why she wanted to talk to me?" she asked her son shakily.

"I don't know, Ma," said Vasily, "call her and find out. Do you want her number?"

"Sure," said Red through gritted teeth. She reached into her purse and pulled out a small notepad and her pen. "What is it?" She scribbled Lourdes' phone number down, using her lifted knee as a desk. "Thanks, honey," she said.

"You sure you're okay, Ma?" asked Vasily, wondering why a nice lady like Lourdes would put his mother into such an obvious frenzy.

"For the millionth time, yes," snapped Red irritably.

"Okay, sorry," said Vasily, "are you going to be home soon for dinner?"

"I don't think so honey, I'll see you later, okay?" Red hung up the phone without waiting for his reply. "F**k," she hissed to herself, running her thumb across the digits of Lourdes phone number. A part of her wanted to throw the number away and pretend she hadn't received the message, but Red was not such a coward to actually shirk away like that, no matter how enviable it seemed. She headed into a quiet coffee shop, deciding to find a quiet table and get this phone call over with. It seemed better to do it right away, before she lost her nerve.

Red dialed the phone, her alternate hand was clasped firmly around the disposable coffee cup. The phone dialed a few times, and for a moment Red thought she might not answer, that she had been spared, at least temporarily. The phone stopped dialing. "Hello?" said the voice belonging to Gloria's aunt.

"Lourdes?" Red asked shakily, "this is Galina, Galina Reznikov. My son told me that you wished to speak with me?" Red wanted to hit herself for how pathetic she sounded.

"Mijha!" exclaimed Lourdes warmly, "yes, I wanted to speak with you. I've heard so many things!"

"From Gloria?" asked Red uncertainly, releasing her coffee and pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Who else?" said Lourdes, "she told me about you a long time ago. I never really thought she would end up like this, but after all the terrible men she worked her way through, I'm actually sort of proud to see her with a different type this time."

"Uhhhh," Red mumbled incoherently, not having a clue what she was supposed to say to that. It sounded as if Gloria's aunt was trying to compliment her, but it came out sort of offensive.

"I never thought it would actually come to this though," Lourdes continued, "but I suppose if she wanted to include the children, she must be very serious about you." The best thing about this conversation, Red decided, was that it was occurring over the phone. It would have been a million times worse if she had been forced to sit across from the woman right now, Red wouldn't be surprised if Lourdes could feel the heat radiating off her face through the phone.

"The boys must be pretty upset," Red said slowly, attempting to steer Lourdes focus off of her, "are they doing alright?"

"Meh," Lourdes replied indifferently, "I'd take it more seriously if they weren't always looking for things to be upset about. Gloria can't do anything right in their eyes. I just got off the phone with her actually, I told her to do what makes her happy. They'll get used to it." Red unfastened the top two buttons of her coat, she was feeling very warm suddenly.

"It's a lot for them," Red said quietly, "I don't expect them to be thrilled about it. I hope they do accept it in time." She brushed her hair out of her face. "It will mean a lot to Gloria that you've given her your blessing," Red continued, "she's always said you're the closest thing she's ever had to a mother."

"I raised that girl," Lourdes said passionately, "after my sister died, god rest her soul, and Gloria's father ran off. I didn't expect to end up raising her children for her as well, but I guess I always did say I'd do anything for her." She chuckled, "pair of troublemakers, those two, sometimes I just don't know how they're going to turn out."

"I've met them," said Red gently, "they seem like they can be pretty sweet, when they want to be."

"So long as you're not telling them what to do," Lourdes replied. "Gloria was always mouthy too, as a little girl, but not like this. Kids today don't have as much respect as they used to."

Red wasn't sure what she was supposed to say to that. It didn't feel right to her to just blindly agree with Lourdes, if only in case Benny or Julio were hanging around listening. The last thing Red wanted was them to catch her bad mouthing them with their aunt, no matter how slight. "Well, I know my sons really enjoy them," Red said, "I'm glad they've gotten to know one another. Maybe that will help them adjust, since they already are pretty close to most of my family."

"Don't worry about them," Lourdes said loudly, "so long as you don't give one of them a black eye, like Gloria's last boyfriend did, this will be an improvement for them. They'll be fine. I really wanted to call you so that we could make plans to meet in person. Gloria is the closest thing I have to a daughter, it seems only appropriate that I meet the woman she says that she is in love with."

Red took a deep breath. Gloria's aunt seemed friendly enough and she knew that meeting her was something that needed to happen. Red was grateful Lourdes had made the effort to reach out to her, it would only be harder the longer they waited and Red wanted to make a conscious effort to get to know her, for Gloria's sake. It was just a very awkward position to be in. Trying to win over Gloria's aunt at the age of sixty, was nothing like what it had been like to develop a relationship with Dmitri's Mamochka. Back then, Red had just committed herself to being the sort of daughter anyone would have been pleased to have, and it had also helped that she had wanted a mother fiercely, after leaving her own behind in Russia when she'd immigrated with Dmitri's family. The relationship between her and her in-laws had been good; at least until things began to deteriorate between Red and her husband. However, none of that applied with Lourdes now. They were both older women and Lourdes would never be in a position of authority over her, they way Red had been obligated to obey Dmitri's parents to a degree. If Red was to connect with Lourdes on any level, it needed to be based on mutual respect and on them being equals. What a peculiar situation, Red had found herself in.

"I'd like to meet you too," Red said into the phone, "maybe we could meet for lunch or something sometime next week?"

"What are you doing right now?" asked Lourdes bluntly.

"Nothing," Red admitted, "I just stopped in at the Starbucks to have a coffee," her accent was thick with uncertainty.

"That's perfect!" exclaimed Lourdes, "I don't live far from you and I'm not doing anything right now either. Which one are you at? Just sit tight and I'll come find you!" A few moments later, and the phone call had ended. Red drummed her fingers on the table as she sat in anticipation for Gloria's aunt to show up. She should have lied and said she was busy with her grandchildren or something, she had not had time to mentally prepare for this meeting. Red was irritated that Gloria had not bothered to call and warn her. However, Red reasoned, it was not as if Gloria would have had much time. Lourdes must have called Vasily's house the moment she had gotten off the phone with her niece. Red wondered if Gloria had even known what Lourdes was planning to do.

"Mijha!" a petite woman, with dark curly hair exclaimed loudly from across the shop, causing several onlookers to look over at her. Lourdes rushed over to Red, who stood up slowly to greet her, and wrapped her arms around her, kissing Red on both cheeks.

"How are you?" Red asked with an awkward laugh, "I'm happy to meet you."

"Same to you, my dear," said Lourdes brightly, "it's strange, though isn't it? This is not what I expected of Gloria at all. I never thought she would go that way, but she seems happy enough, so who am I to judge? You seem like a nice enough lady, even if you were in prison." Lourdes was still speaking quite loudly, and Red felt many eyes cast upon her at the mention of prison.

Red cleared her throat, "don't you want to get a coffee or something first?" she asked Lourdes, as the older woman took her seat at the corner table Red had been waiting for her at.

"No, you couldn't pay me to drink that stuff," answered Lourdes, "overpriced and not even very good. Come to my house sometime, and I'll make you a real cup of coffee."

"I'll keep that in mind," Red said, sitting down and taking a sip of her own coffee, which was now cold.

"You must be so relieved to finally be out of prison," Lourdes said eyeing Red with scrutiny, "Gloria said you were in for some sort of mafia involvement. That's pretty scary stuff, but she said you were sort of coerced into doing it and that it was in the past. That's a relief to hear."

"Definitely in the past," Red said firmly, her hands tightening around the paper cup. She was a little annoyed at Gloria for telling her aunt that about her, but she supposed it couldn't be helped. As soon as one heard about somebody being to prison, the natural question that would follow would be about what they had done to deserve being locked up. Lourdes did not seem like the sort of person you could effectively keep secrets from, so it was probably best to just tell her the truth when she asked, and not have her believing Red to be in for murder or something worse.

"It's a crime itself how they lock up mothers," Lourdes proceeded to say, "when Gloria was arrested, I told her not to worry because they would never send a mother to prison. I couldn't believe it when I realized I was wrong. No wonder there's so many gangs and out of control kids these days, no mothers at home to take care of them. How old were your children when you went to prison?"

"They were teenagers," Red said very quietly, becoming increasingly irritated that Lourdes was making her talk about such things in the middle of a crowded coffee shop. "Vasily, my youngest, was about Benny's age, and my oldest had just turned eighteen. I missed his high school graduation by a couple of days."

"You poor woman," Lourdes said sympathetically, "that's the worst thing about it, isn't it? Being separated from your own children? It's not natural. I don't think Julio or Benny would act out as much as they do, if they had a mother at home to watch out for them. They need Gloria back. We all miss her."

"I can only imagine," said Red sympathetically, "it's wrong in every way. They're strong boys for getting through this, and you're an incredible woman for stepping up and taking care of them in Gloria's absence."

"Who watched your sons when you went to prison?" asked Lourdes curiously, "your husband?"

"Yes," said Red, "Dmitri took care of them. Quite an adjustment for him, I imagine. He had never been very hands on with them when I had been around."

"Men can be lazy and selfish," said Lourdes, "I guess that's why so many women end up pairing up with each other, like you two have. Gloria's first husband took her completely for granted. Never appreciated anything she did, and when they divorced, he took her two daughters with him. They barely keep in touch with their mother now, and they never visit her. He has them completely brainwashed, I suppose. It's my fault, I pressured her to get married when she didn't want to, just because she got pregnant."

Red couldn't help being a little bit curious about Gloria's first husband and the two daughters whom she rarely spoke of. It was almost like they didn't exist, Red knew so little about them; but whenever asked, Gloria would always claim to have four children. She wanted to respect Gloria's right to tell her story in her own good time, but Red couldn't resist questioning Lourdes was she realized that she had the chance to.

"Why did they divorce?" Red asked her casually.

"Well," Lourdes sighed deeply, and suddenly, to Red, she seemed very tired, "he never wanted to marry her. I told them they had to make things right, and I bullied him into making Gloria his wife. I didn't really give Gloria the option of turning his proposal down. She'd made her bed, I told her, so now she had to lie in it." Lourdes rubbed her hand over her mouth. "She had the first girl, and then the second almost immediately after. Meanwhile he was out cheating on her every night, and eventually they got divorced. The girls wanted to stay with him, he was the fun parent to them." Suddenly Lourdes looked angry, "well, of course he was more fun than Gloria! She was the one doing all the work while he was out doing whatever he pleased!" Lourdes, folded her hands, almost as if she were praying, and rested her head down on them for a moment. Red waited impatiently for her to look back up. "Gloria asked me if I'd hate her if she left him, and I gave her my blessing to do so," Lourdes continued after a moment. "A few years later, she got with Julio and Benny's father; and he was married to someone else. I guess she hadn't learned from her mistakes."

"Gloria was involved with a married man?" Red asked in surprise, "that seems so unlike her." Gloria was so headstrong, and had such a low tolerance for bullsh!t, it seemed unfathomable to Red that she had willingly fathered two children with a man who never was actually hers. It was bizarre that Gloria would have ever fallen for somebody so deceitful, but maybe that was why she was the way she was now. Gloria's impatience and need for practically and order, stemmed from the chaos of her past. She wasn't that person anymore. Gloria would never be taken advantage of again.

"I told her it was a mistake," Lourdes replied, "but she wouldn't listen to me. He always claimed that he was in love with Gloria and would leave his wife for her when the timing was right. Well, they never do, do they? Eventually, but not soon enough in my opinion, Gloria picked up what was left of her pride, took the boys and moved on. He never tried to get her back, and, last I heard, he and his wife are still married."

"She must have loved him to put herself through that," Red said quietly, staring at Lourdes intently, leaning on the table, with her chest heaving in eagerness. Red had wanted to hear these stories from Gloria, but she was glad to be getting the truth at all. It had always bothered her when Gloria wouldn't reveal too much about her past. Red knew that was because it was painful, but she didn't know how to help Gloria if she was consistently kept in the dark.

Gloria always said he was the love of her life, or at least she used to; this was before she became gay," Lourdes said all of this without skipping a beat, and Red had to resist rolling her eyes. "And then," Lourdes continued, "she got with that Arturo."

"I know about Arturo," Red cut in, not wanting to hear about the abuse that still brought tears to her eyes. It enraged her than anybody could ever treat Gloria so horribly. Red was glad that he was dead. "I didn't really know about the other two, though," she admitted with a sad sort of shrug, "I guess she just doesn't like to talk about it. I've always hoped that she would tell me eventually, but she never has."

"Don't take it personally that she hasn't told you, Gloria doesn't like to talk about this stuff," Lourdes replied, "she's too closed off for her own good sometimes." Red nodded in agreement with that.

"I hope that I can provide her with what she's never had before," Red said sincerely, her voice heavy with emotion. "She deserves to be happy, and I want to give her that."

"I can tell that you mean that," Lourdes smiled across the table, and patted Red's hand affectionately. They were both quiet after that, consumed with their own thoughts as they stood up to leave.

"I'm really glad we did this, Galina," said Lourdes warmly, taking Red into her arms, as they stood outside on the sidewalk, ready to make their departure.

"Me also," Red admitted quietly, with a small smile. "It's nice to put a face to a name. I feel as though I've known you already for awhile, Gloria talks about you a lot."

"I've had to coax every detail I knew about you, out of her," Lourdes said impassively, "she's always telling me to mind my own business." After meeting Lourdes, Red could hardly blame Gloria. "Where are you headed now?" Lourdes asked her.

"Hmm, home I suppose," Red considered, "or rather," she hesitated, "how far of a walk is it to Olcott street from here?" she slung her purse over her shoulder.

"Olcott?" Lourdes asked, "it's about two intersections down the road that way," she pointed. "You know somebody who lives down thee?"

"My son lives on Olcott street," Red told her, buttoning her coat back up, "but I've never been to his place yet. I think I might walk over and see if he's home."

"I'll walk with you," Lourdes said immediately, "that's the direction my neighbourhood is in anyways." She started walking in the direction of the street Red was looking for, and Red followed, hurrying to catch up.

"None of my children know about Gloria yet," Red told her, as she struggled to keep up with Lourdes quick strides.

"Why not?" asked Lourdes.

"I'm just waiting to tell them," Red admitted, "I'm planning to tell them soon. However, I don't think it is a very good idea for me to show up at his house with you. That might make them curious."

"I understand," nodded Lourdes, "I'll walk you over and then I'll head home. I promised the boys I'd be home in time for dinner anyways."

"Okay," Red agreed, relaxing immensely. She was eager to see Maxim. Yuri was still crashing at Vasily's house, so she saw both of them much more frequently than she did her middle son. Maybe Maxim and her could go out to dinner just the two of them.

"Are you planning to live with Gloria once she's out?" asked Lourdes curiously.

"Yes," said Red with a small smile, "and with my daughter, Nicky, at least for a little while."

"You have a daughter?" asked Lourdes in puzzlement.

"I adopted her," Red smiled, "I met her in the prison, and fell in love with her immediately. She's very adorable and very sweet. She'll probably want to find her own apartment eventually, but she'll live with me for a little while."

"Where do you want to live?" asked Lourdes, "are you okay with the boys moving in too? I'm sure Gloria will want them back, and that will help me out a lot. I won't pretend that it's been easy all these years with them by myself."

"Of course, I'm okay with that," Red said defiantly, "I'd never take their mother away from them. We'll live in this part of the city, so that I can still be close to my children and grandchildren too." Red shoved her hands into her coat pockets for warmth, "and that will keep the boy's in the same school district," she added considerately. "Before I can do any of that though, I need to find a job. I have a little money from my share of the store that my husband and I owned together, but that won't get me too far."

"What sort of job are you looking for?" asked Lourdes curiously. She was surprised by how much she found herself liking Red. It was obvious how much Red cared about Gloria, and the way she managed to seem both hard and soft simultaneously was very intriguing to Lourdes. There was a sincerity in her eye when she spoke of Gloria, and the way she continually brought the conversation back to the children, which gave Lourdes hope that her great nephews might turn out okay after all. Gloria had always been caught in between her children and the boyfriends who resented them, so it was comforting to see that she had at last found somebody who honoured Gloria for being the mother she needed to be, and supported her in that role. Red seemed, like Gloria, to view the world through a skeptical and defensive eye that would prevent her from ever being taken as somebody's fool again. Both women had paid heavy prices for their sins and their associations, and now it was almost time for their slates to be wiped clean, and for them to look ahead to the future that they intended to conquer together. Lourdes was happy for them. Red was not the person Lourdes had ever wanted Gloria to end up with, but she had to admit that her interferences in her niece's life had never produced the results she had hoped for. Maybe it was time for Lourdes to step back and trust that Gloria knew what was right for herself.

"Whatever work an old lady, with back problems, and a criminal record can get," said Red wryly, "it's not as if I can afford to be picky."

"You know," Lourdes considered, "I finally convinced my boss just the other day that he needed to hire another person. The other cook quit over a month ago, and Jack has been dragging his feet about replacing her; he's pretty lazy and never around anyways. Do you think you'd be interested in something like that?"

"Cooking?" asked Red, with a sharp intake of breath, "that's the thing I'm best at." Her hands shoved into the pockets of her burgundy coat for warmth, balled into fists of eagerness.

"Gloria did tell me something about that," admitted Lourdes with a smile, "just be forewarned that it pays badly, requires lots of night shifts, and a lot of tedious tasks, but I could talk to my boss if you're interested." They turned onto Olcott street, and Red began scanning the house numbers for the one she knew Maxim lived in.

"Will you talk to him tomorrow?" Red asked breathlessly, "tell him that I really want it?" She spotted the 2844 of Max's house and halted her steps on the sidewalk out front. She turned towards Gloria's aunt, and her eyes were wide in hopeful longing.

"I'll talk to him on Monday," Lourdes promised, "we're always closed on Sunday, it's the only day I usually get to have a break. I only had this Saturday off because I booked it ahead of time to take the boys to see their mother."

"Okay, Monday then," said Red crisply, "that is exactly what I need." She moistened her lips with her tongue, and then absentmindedly wiped them with her fingers. She felt like Lourdes had possibly just thrown her a lifeline, a chance to reclaim her identity as the self sufficient woman she had always been before.

"Let's see what he says first," smiled Lourdes, reaching out to squeeze Red's arm encouragingly, "take care, Galina. I'll be in touch. I really enjoyed meeting you."

"Likewise," Red admitted with an embarrassed sort of smile. Lourdes took off in the direction of her street, and Red brushed her hair back and walked up the shovelled walkway to Maxim's front door. The porch light was on, illuminating the home from the sky's darkness. Maxim lived in a white, two story home, with a pointed black tin roof. Red could see through the curtains that the lights were on, so she knew that he was home. She walked up to the front door and rapped on it twice. Red wondered if he'd be happy to see her, she hadn't ventured this far out by herself yet, and she had never been to his house, he had always come to her.

The door slowly creaked upon partway, and Maxim appeared in the opening, blocking the view of the inside with his form. "Mama?" he said nervously, in a voice that was barely above a whisper. "What are you doing here?"

"I was just down the street, so I thought I'd walk over and surprise you," said Red hesitatingly, sensing that something was wrong, "is everything okay, honey?"

Maxim forced a smile, "of course it is," he said, hoping he sounded more convincing to his mother than he did to himself, "I just wasn't expecting you. Are you hungry? There's a great restaurant down the street I like to go to, we could have supper there together. My house is a mess right now, so…"

"Is there something that you don't want me to see?" Red asked him in trepidation, "I don't care if there's a mess."

"Maxim, your letting out all the warm air," a woman's voice called from somewhere behind him. Her voice had a faint trace of a Russian accent, though much slighter than Red's, which suggested she had lived in America and spoken English much longer. "Is that the delivery guy? Don't forget the tip."

Red looked at her son questioningly, "is that your girlfriend?" she asked with a confused smile, "is that why you're acting so strange? You don't want me to meet her?" Maxim seemed frozen in place, and he didn't answer his mother, nor call up to the woman who had just addressed him from inside the house.

"Maxim, what are you doing?" the same female voice asked, approaching the door and swinging it open to its full capacity. "Oh," she said in surprise when she saw Red standing on the porch, shivering slightly in the cold winter air. "Hello," the woman smiled, "can I help you?". She shot Maxim a look of concern, as he continued to stand there, his face white as a sheet, still not saying anything.

Red looked back at forth between her son and this woman, who was much too old to be his girlfriend. She didn't look to be much younger than Red herself, in fact. She was a tall woman, with dark brown hair pulled up into a bun, and twinkling brown eyes that seemed to signify her harmlessness, although Red couldn't help but feel very threatened indeed. "Maxim?" Red said in a pleading tone, needing to know what she had happened upon, although she was wishing more and more with each passing second that she was anywhere but here.

A car pulled up against the curb, and with its arrival, Maxim seemed to grow even paler. The brown-haired woman was still staring scrutinizing at Maxim, and paid no attention to its arrival, but Red glanced over in time to see a young man with blonde hair, dressed in jeans, a grey sweater, and a black open coat, hop out of the driver's side and jog up the steps to Maxim's front door. "Welcoming committee?" he called to the group on the porch, who were just shadows cast against the porch light from where he stood. As he got closer, he took particular interest in the shorter woman with scarlet hair, who met his gaze with crystal blue eyes, that looked lost and forlorn to him.

"Miss Reznikov?" he asked in astonished pleasure, "I'm surprised to see you here, but very happy too," he stowed a quick glance at Maxim, who walked out of the door frame to stand behind his mother, resting a light hand on her shoulder. Luca wasn't sure why she was here, Maxim had been putting off these introductions for awhile. Luca quickly refocused his attention back onto Red with a warm smile.

"I'm Luca," he extended his hand towards her, "it's so nice to finally meet you." Red looked down at Luca's hand but did not grasp it with her own. She looked utterly confused, and she looked immediately over at Maxim for clarification.

"This is…" the brown-haired woman covered her mouth with her hand in apparent shock, while she pointed a shaking finger at Red.

"This is my mother," Maxim spoke finally, he placed both of his hands on Red's shoulder, holding her from behind, allying himself with her. Maxim took a deep breath, "Mama, these are two people that I need you to meet. This is Klara", he extended a hand towards the brown-haired woman, and this is Luca", he nodded his head towards the blonde man with the friendly smile. "Luca, is my boyfriend, Mamochka, and Klara is, was I should say, Papa's girlfriend."

"Oh," Red said, so faintly that it almost was unheard.

"I should have recognized you," Klara said with a tight and forced smile, "Dmitri had some pictures of you stowed away in a drawer that I saw one time." She wrapped the gray blanket shawl that she had slung on her shoulder, around herself even tighter, "let's go inside and have this conversation, everyone," she looked over Red's head at Maxim. "It's too cold out here and our takeout will be arriving soon. There's enough for you if you're going to join us for supper," she said to Red.

Red was trembling all over in Maxim's arms, and she brought a shaking hand up to her face and held her cheek, as though someone had just slapped her there. Klara, turned and walked into the house ahead of them. Luca went to follow, but hesitated under the threshold as he looked back at his boyfriend and his mother, who looked as though she would collapse if not for her son's firm arms holding her up. "Do you want to go in, Mama?" asked Maxim guiltily.

Red shook her head adamantly, and looked up at her son with a questioning look of betrayal, that broke Maxim's heart. This wasn't supposed to have happened. They had been going to tell her the truth eventually, but neither Maxim or his brothers had felt she was ready to hear it. She had just gotten home, and they wanted to make her feel secure again, before they sprung too much upon her. Maxim squeezed his mother tightly and turned to his boyfriend. "Luca," he said, "I'm going to drive my mother home. You go inside with Klara."

"Okay," Luca agreed quietly, reaching into his coat pocket and handing Maxim the keys to the car he had just driven up in, and apparently the car that they shared. Red still had not spoken a word. "I'm sorry we met under these circumstances, ma'am," he said to Red quietly, "I understand this is quite the shock."

"Come on, mama," said Maxim quietly, steering Red off of the porch and towards the parked car. "I'll take you home."


	11. Chapter 11

Safe in the confines of the car, Red angled her body towards the passenger window so that she wouldn't have to speak or look at her son. The tension in the car could be cut with a knife, and internally Red was seething with rage, and hating herself for appearing so stupid and helpless moments before on the porch. The weakness she had displayed by trembling, being struck speechless, and in physical need of her son to hold her up, was currently making her inwardly cringe. In prison, weakness was dangerous, and Red had always maintained a stance of constant vigilance. Here, in the real world, Red had allowed herself to be made vulnerable and transparent to the people she loved, trusting that their intentions were sincere. How foolish she had been.

It wasn't so much that Dmitri had been in a relationship with somebody else. Whether it had happened before or after their divorce was almost an irrelevant factor, in Red's mind. She had never been naïve enough to believe that Dmitri would remain faithful to a marriage that had never been fulfilling, and to a wife, with a lengthy prison sentence, who had never been in love with him anyways. What she had expected was for Dmitri to keep his extramarital affairs away from their sons. The betrayal she felt from her children hurt Red in her very core. Dmitri had been dead for several years, so why were they still in close association with the woman their father had put in their mother's role? Clearly, they were connected with Klara too. She had been replaced.

So great was this sorrow, that Red could not even fully focus on the signification of Maxim introducing that nice, young, man as his boyfriend. All she could process about that introduction was that Luca was another secret that Maxim had chosen to keep from her. Maybe because he thought her too unstable to handle it, or because keeping things from her had just become such a routine thing to do. Secrets, half-truths, and redirections; Red felt like they were treating her like an insolent child who was shielded and purposefully excluded from things by her sons, who considered their deceptions to be for her own good. As they brought her home and showered her with their love, they had apparently also been sneaking around to see their other mother, behind Red's back. This was worse then them lying about her store closing, just another example of how she had lost her authority and honour as the mother of her family. Sure, Yuri, Maxim, and Vasily loved her; but Red knew they did not respect her as a person worthy of the truth. She had lost their respect years ago, at the same time she had lost her freedom.

"Mamochka, we were going to tell you," Maxim said, when he couldn't bear the icy silence in the car for a second longer, "we just didn't know how to. We were so happy you were home, and we've just been enjoying this time with you, that we didn't want anything to ruin it."

"That's not the turn you're supposed to take," Red said coldly, when Maxim steered the car left instead of right, at the glowing set of lights. "Although, I don't really know why I'd have any desire to go back to your brother's house either right now. Just let me off on the side of the road when you can."

"Yeah, I'm not going to do that," Maxim answered shortly, "what sort of son just leaves his mother alone on the streets of New York after dark?"

"Probably the same sort of son who lies to his mother about every important detail of his life," Red replied, in an accent so thick that her voice almost seemed muffled. She always sounded even more Russian, if that were possible, when she was upset. "I don't even know you anymore," Red said quietly, he grief apparent in every syllable that she spoke. All this time, Red had not looked at Maxim or even faced away from the window. Maxim could sense the anger and hurt emitting from her, and it scared him a little, if he were being completely honest. Maxim had always been the quietest out of his brothers, his mother's helper, and the one who almost always completed his chores and homework without much fuss. It had been rare for Red to raise her voice at him or discipline him, especially when compared to the stubborn Yuri, and the mischievous Vasily. The disappointment and mistrust his mother was exhibiting towards him right now, made Maxim feel ashamed and guilty. He had always prided himself on being the best in the family at getting her to laugh, but now he was the source of her pain.

"Mama, I'm sorry," Maxim said quietly, continuing to drive without a destination in mind because he was afraid she would leave the car if he stopped. "We just didn't want to hurt you."

"So, you lied to me," Red said coldly, "so much better! Do you think I'm stupid, Maxim? That I wouldn't find out?"

"We were going to tell you," Maxim told her, "We were just waiting for the right moment."

"I guess I messed that up for you," Red said tightly, "am I supposed to apologize or something?"

"No!" exclaimed Maxim, "you don't have to apologize for anything, but I don't think I should have to either. You wanted me to show up to pick you up from prison, with the stepmother you didn't even know existed, and my boyfriend when you didn't even know I was gay?" Maxim shook he head as he glared out the windshield, "that would have gone over _really_ well," he said sarcastically.

"I should have known the moment that it happened," Red said frostily, turning to stare at her son finally.

"Easier said than done," said Maxim shortly, "you were in prison, Mama! You left us! We go from having you there all the time, to getting one-hour visits once a week, _if_ we're lucky. I didn't want to spend a moment of that time with you, telling you things that were just going to make you angry. I wanted to pretend that you were the mother that you always had been." He sniffled, and Red stared at him with eyes so wide, and so blue, that seemed to somehow reflect coldness and concern simultaneously. "I missed you so much! I slept with your picture under my pillow every night for years, and I just wanted you to come home. I had to keep reminding myself that you wouldn't be back until I was already a grown man. It felt like you were dead. We had to move on with our lives, we couldn't just freeze time for you!"

Maxim's speech rendered Red momentarily speechless. It all sounded good until you factored in that she was only in prison because Dmitri had f**ked her over, and she had been forced to take the fall for their mafia involvement. Dmitri wasn't innocent, but he got away with everything, cowardly lump, and then he had the gall to, not only find himself another woman, but to find his children a replacement mother. "Just answer me this, Maxim, and then we don't have to talk anymore," Red said, her hands balled into fists of tension, "when did your father get with this woman? Before or after we separated?" She eyed her son with piercing, unmerciful, eyes, "hmm?"

"Before," said Maxim quietly, "about a year after you were gone." His hands were clutching the steering wheel of the car so tightly that they looked enflamed. His face was frozen like stone, but he refused to apologize on behalf of his father and Klara. He had just turned sixteen when the affair started, he was not responsible for what they did, and he wasn't going to allow his mother to punish him for it. He wasn't a child anymore that she could control. Red rested her chin in her hand, her elbow propped up on the arm rest. She wished Dmitri was still alive so that she could kill him. It was almost impressive what good little liars he had raised in her absence. Almost two decades was a very long time to keep such a secret. It helped, Red supposed, that she had been locked away from them, but she still thought that there should have been some signs of it somewhere. It was unbelievable how gullible she had been.

"If it makes you feel any better," Maxim said, stealing a quick glance at his thoughtful looking mother, "all three of us were pretty upset with Papa when it happened. It was awkward, but Klara was so nice, and she kept telling us that we could love both of you. It was sort of nice to have a woman around again because Papa was a mess after you left. He started drinking, he never cooked us supper, and the apartment was always filthy; but once Klara moved in, everything started running smoothly again. We were grateful for that. Yuri, moved out after graduation and stayed away for a long time. He didn't see how bad things had gotten before she came, so he never really warmed to Klara in the same way that Vasily and I did."

"Remind me to tell Yuri that he's my favourite," said Red in bitter sarcasm.

"I thought Nicky was your favourite?" Maxim asked point-blank, giving his mother a meaningful look, before turning back to stare at the road. Red's mouth gaped open slightly at the low blow that Maxim had just dealt her. Red didn't really know how to respond to him, and it felt like her son had just punched her in the stomach. Was Maxim trying to imply that she had replaced them with Nicky, the same way that they had replaced her with Klara? That was how Nicky and her had begun, both drawn together by their insatiable needs to nurture and be nurtured; but Nicky had never taken the place of the boys in Red's heart. There was enough room for all of them. Families often had multiple children, but they were supposed to only have one mother, in her opinion. Red clamped her mouth tightly shut, and said nothing. They continued to drive aimlessly in silence.

"I don't know what you're trying to achieve here, Maxim," Red said frostily after a few minutes of tense silence.

"Probably nothing," Maxim reasoned, "but I'm being a good brother and letting you cool off before I take you back to Vasily's."

"I don't want to go back there," Red said pitifully, "a house filled with people acting nice to my face and lying behind my back."

"You don't have anywhere else to go," Maxim told her, "like it or not, you need us. You can stay at my house tonight if you want, Luca won't mind. We can wait until Klara leaves before we go back."

"How long have you been gay for?" Red asked, changing the subject.

"Uh, my whole life," Maxim told her calmly, "you don't just turn gay, Ma. There's a spectrum, and everyone falls somewhere on it." Red's cheeks reddened, but in the darkness of the car it went unnoticed.

"You don't look gay," Red commented ignorantly, still bothered that he didn't trust her enough to come out to her.

"How am I supposed to look?" asked Maxim patiently. Red just shrugged, as Maxim watched her out of the corner of his eye. "You're actually taking that much better than I had ever dreamed you would."

"I don't have a problem with it," Red retorted defiantly, "I'm just surprised. Although I shouldn't be, all I ever thought about you is apparently wrong now."

"Not everything," Maxim murmured quietly, "I'm still your son, Ma, but people change a lot from when they're sixteen. You've been gone a long time, and things are very different now. You've missed a lot and that is something we're all just going to have to deal with. I'm sorry you feel like we were lying to you, but we were really just waiting for the right moment to tell you. We didn't want you to get overwhelmed, and I thought the idea of Luca and I together would bother you. I'm not ashamed in the slightest, and I'm not hiding, I just wanted to make sure you were ready to hear about it. I never imagined that you would be so accepting."

"You're my son," Red said simply. She did not elaborate any further but Maxim understood what she was trying to say. He reached for her hand and squeezed it tightly. Red held his hand for a long moment before she wriggled her hand away and clasped to her side. Pre-Gloria, Maxim probably wouldn't have been wrong to believe that she would have struggled with one of her sons coming out as homosexual. It was not what she would have chosen for him, hell it still wasn't what she would have chosen for herself, but the universe didn't work that way, and Red understood that now. His happiness was most important to her.

"I don't know about you, Ma, but I'm starving," said Maxim lightly, pulling into a McDonalds drive-thru.

"You're going to eat that junk?" Red asked him annoyed. Even if she could sympathize slightly with the position her son had been put in, that didn't mean that she wanted to eat takeout with him like all was alright between them. She wanted to be alone; well, actually, Red wanted to be with Gloria and Nicky, the two people she trusted not to lie to her, because they respected her enough to always be upfront. She wanted to be with them right now so much that it was physically hurting her; and there was a loneliness within her soul that could not be cured by a burger with a son that she couldn't help but consider a traitor.

"Nothing wrong with it in moderation," protested Maxim, "and we both missed supper. What do you want?" Pulling up to the intercom.

"Nothing," said Red firmly, "I'm not hungry." It was true. The encounter on her son's front porch had left a hollow feeling in her stomach, and Red knew she would not be able to tolerate eating at the moment, least of all such processed junk. Maxim didn't listen to her though, and ordered meals for both of them. This annoyed Red more then she could express, if she said she wasn't hungry her son shouldn't try and coax her to eat.

"Have you decided if you would like to come to my house or go back to Vasily's?" Maxim asked, after swallowing a large mouthful of burger. Red's sat in the bag untouched.

"I want to go to a hotel," Red told him, staring determinedly out the side window again.

"Isn't that a bit dramatic?" asked Maxim, "she's not going to be there, and nobody will bring it up. Let me just take you home and you can go to your room, shut the door, and be just as alone as you would be in any hotel room. Not to mention, you'll save money that you can't really afford to spend."

"No," said Red stubbornly, "it's hard enough sitting here with you right now, I don't want to deal with your brothers as well. I just need…time," she sighed, and brushed her fingers through her hair anxiously.

"We were kids," Maxim reminded her, slurping his drink, "we had no control over what Papa decided to do. We were the ones who had to live with it, and it wasn't easy. You think we just replaced you like that? That could never happen. All we wanted was you, but we weren't allowed to have you."

"I don't blame you," Red scrunched a fistful of her hair and closed her eyes momentarily, "Don't think for a minute that I think this is your fault. I just don't trust you. It honestly terrifies me that my sons are so accomplished at deceiving me. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to trust you again."

Maxim started up the car, his face a mask of composure. "I'll take you to a motel," he said stoically, putting the car into drive and heading back onto the road. Red thought she had wanted to be alone, but Maxim giving in so easily and driving her to the accommodations triggered a deep sense of abandonment in her. She didn't know what she wanted exactly, and would probably be dissatisfied with anything. What she wanted was to change the past, and that could never happen. They all had to live with it.

Red waited in the car alone, upon Maxim's instruction, while her son went into the motel office to inquire about a room for her. A few minutes later he returned with a key. "I got you a room," he told her, coming around to her side and opening the door for her. "Do you have a phone charger on you?" Red shook her head.

Maxim reached over her, and into the glove compartment to retrieve a spare phone charger of his. Then he held a hand out to his mother, an offer to help her out of the car, which she ignored. Maxim walked her towards the room he had reserved for her and unlocked it. Red walked in and stared around at the gloomy space, once her son clicked the light switch on. "You can't stay here forever, Mamochka," Maxim reminded her, as Red tossed her purse upon the bed.

"I'm probably going to start a job this week," Red told him cryptically, "that means I can do whatever the f**k I want. I won't be a burden on any of you anymore." She sounded difficult and petulant, with her arms crossed across her chest, and her head bowed solemnly.

"You're never a burden," Maxim told her firmly, "you're our mother and we love you. This self-destructive isolation you're insisting upon tonight, I hope it doesn't last because you won't just be hurting yourself, you'll be hurting us. Klara could never replace you, we can love you both. We've dreamed about you coming back to us for so long, and now you want to avoid us by choice."

"You shouldn't have lied to me," was all Red could think of to say.

"You shouldn't have got yourself sent to prison," Maxim replied angrily, losing patience, as he opened up the door to leave. "I'll be back tomorrow." He stepped out into the night and slammed the door behind him, leaving Red alone like she had requested. As soon as he was gone, Red walked over to sit on the edge of the bed, her anxiety shooting like fireworks through her body. She sat there quietly for a long time, thinking about everything, but at the same time thinking about nothing. Images shot through her brain, but she could focus on none of it.

It was her cell phone that brought Red out of her trance, as she picked it up and saw with dread that it was Vasily calling. She was about to send him straight to voicemail, when she impulsively answered it instead. Vasily probably did not know what had happened yet, and Red was sort of craving some interaction with her youngest son, before everything went to hell with him too. That, and she knew for a fact that he would continue to redial her until she finally answered. "Hello?" she said faintly.

"Mama, I know I said I wouldn't check up on you again but it's getting late and I'm starting to get worried," Vasily cut straight to the chase.

"I'm not coming home tonight," Red told him, "but you don't have to worry. I'll talk to you tomorrow alright?"

"Where are you?" asked Vasily in concern. It wasn't like his mother had a curfew or anything, but Vasily couldn't help but feel quite uncomfortable about the idea of her out on her own when it was beginning to get late. She claimed he treated her like a child, but he never meant to; Vasily just felt very responsible for his mother's well being. Perhaps it was more to do with his own issues then because his mother really needed him, but Vasily liked her to stay close. It was almost as if he were afraid she would leave him again if he let her out of his sight for too long.

Red could tell that Vasily was worried about her, and for a moment Red felt ashamed of herself for distancing herself the way she had. Her children had only been doing as their father had instructed, it probably wasn't fair to punish them the way she currently was. However, Red couldn't really help it. She was very hurt. "I was with Maxim, and now I'm at a motel," she told him honestly, "I need some time alone."

"Why are you at a motel by yourself?" asked Vasily, sounding worried.

"Ask your brother," said Red quietly, but in a firm voice that Vasily knew meant that she was not going to elaborate.

An awkward pause came over the phone, Vasily did not know what to say to that. He had a couple theories, but knew he'd need to ask Maxim about them before he directed them at his mother. "Well, I hope you come back tomorrow. This is your home too, Mama. You're not supposed to leave."

Tears threatened to fall from Red's eyes as she listened to her youngest son speak. Vasily sounded so sweet, so protective, and so utterly hypocritical, now that Red knew the truth. "Give the kids kisses for me okay? Tell them I miss them."

"Do you miss me too?" Vasily joked uncertainly, still confused about his mother's motives.

"All the time," Red admitted quietly, "I'll talk with you later, honey." She hung up and stretched out on the bed. The tears she had been fighting to suppress throughout that entire conversation spilled down her face at once. Tears of sadness, for what she had lost, and for what could never be. Maxim was right, she shouldn't have gone to prison, but she had. She had left three children behind, teetering on the brink of manhood, but without a mother to guide them, and with a father who had even less sense than she did. Deep down, Red knew that she couldn't really blame them for clinging to a person willing to fulfill the needs that she had failed to provide. If Red had done her job as their mother properly, this would never have become an issue.

The silence of the motel room was maddening, and it unnerved Red slightly. She was a little scared to spend the night alone, if she were being honest. Red hadn't spent the night by herself since her early twenties, before she was married. There had always been somebody nearby to hear her, whether she wanted them to be there on not. Right now, she was by herself, and she was beginning to have serious regrets about insisting upon it. Her pride prevented her from picking up the phone to call one of her sons, but Red had to admit to herself that it was a tempting notion. She flicked on the television to combat the silence, removed her pants and socks, and, deciding to keep the light on, she climbed beneath the covers of the bed. Red wished she were anywhere besides where she currently was. Stubbornness had gotten her into this predicament, but she had been too upset to do anything Maxim had suggested she do. Maybe this had been her way of trying to punish him, but probably it had been more about punishing herself. Her sadness was numbing her, she had no more tears left to cry, and though she was exhausted, Red knew that sleep would be a long way off.

Red woke up to the sound of her phone. Light was pouring in through the curtains, as Red blinked through bleary and blotchy eyes. Sleep had been hard won last night. Red had tossed and turned for hours, watched stupid programs on the television all night, and finally fell asleep sometime before daybreak. She fumbled for the phone and answered it immediately when she recognized the number as belonging to the prison. "Hello?" she croaked, once she got through the prison message that connected them.

"Are you just waking up?" Nicky's cheerful voice greeted her, "what a life!"

"Nicky?" Red asked sleepily, "what time is it?"

"It's almost noon," Nicky told her, "are you hungover or sick? You don't sound so good!"

"I had a long night," Red admitted, lying back down on the bed, and clutching the phone to her ear tightly, yearning to feel as close to her daughter as one possibly could from a distance.

"Oh, yeah?" asked Nicky, "care to talk about it?"

"No," said Red staunchly, "I want to hear about you. How are you feeling? Are you still in pain?" It seemed ages ago that she had been with Nicky at the hospital. Nicky sounded so much better now.

"I'm not in pain so long as I keep taking the pills that doctor prescribed," Nicky told her, "and Gloria's bossing me around not letting me do anything. I'm really bored, Ma."

"Just call me more often, if you're bored," Red told her, "I miss you. We don't talk enough."

"We talk everyday," Nicky reminded her affectionately, pleased at how much her mother seemed to want her. After a childhood of being neglected and in the way, Nicky knew that she would never tire of, nor take for granted, Red's obvious love and desire for her. Yet, at the same time, Nicky was a little worried. There was obvious sadness in Red's tone that Nicky couldn't have ignored if she tried. Maybe something bad had happened with Gloria's kids. Gloria had told Nicky that things had gone as well as they could have, but maybe the boys had been saving their anger for Red instead. "Are you okay, Mom?" Nicky asked, "and don't you dare say that you're fine. Talk to me," she ordered.

Red sighed, "have you ever lied to me, Nicky?"

Nicky laughed nervously, "why, what have you heard?"

"Does that mean that you have lied to me in the past?" Red asked sharply.

"No, Ma," Nicky laughed, "not about anything important, I swear! Just, do you remember how you always used to get Norma to dye your hair for you because you were too cheap to pay Sophia?" Nicky giggled nervously, "well I may have told a white lie when you asked me what I thought of it."

"You didn't think it looked good?" Red asked, patting her hair self consciously.

"It was purple," Nicky said dramatically, as if that told Red all she needed to know.

"No, it wasn't," Red contradicted, "it was a dark red."

"Whatever you want to believe," Nicky said with amusement, "it looked pretty purple to me." She laughed gleefully, seeming to relish at the memory, "and then there was your second attempt at Claudette's coconut cake, and Gloria telling me I had to eat it and say it was good no matter what."

"You had two pieces of it that last time!" Red exclaimed, "I'm supposed to believe you didn't think it tasted good."

"That's how devoted of a daughter I am," Nicky informed her, "I'd still have to label it coco-not, but at least it wasn't beige that time." She laughed. Nicky's laugh was contagious, and Red couldn't help but smile grimly at the sound of it. What a ridiculous child she was.

"But you'd never lie to me about something really important, right?" Red asked her anxiously, once Nicky was done laughing at her expense. "You'd tell me the truth, even if it was hard to do?"

"What are you talking about?" asked Nicky, "is this about you not wanting to tell the boys about Gloria? Because I already told you that keeping her a secret is no different than lying to them."

"No, this is about your brothers being lying, back stabbing, traitorous, devils!" Red said dramatically, sitting straight up in the bed, and beating the bed with her open palm as she accentuated each syllable.

"Whoa," Nicky said curiously, "they must have really f**ked up, huh? Tell me what they did." She sounded almost gleeful, like a bratty younger sibling that took great satisfaction at seeing her older brothers in trouble; but at the same time, Nicky was confused. Things had been going so well, she had thought. The boys had been taking such good care of Red, that Nicky had actually been storming around the prison in a jealous fit, until Gloria told her to cut it out.

"What haven't they done!" Red exclaimed dramatically, "everything I've ever thought about them, turned out to be a lie. Dmitri throws me under the bus to save his own pathetic skin, and then he moves another woman into the house to raise my children for me!"

"F**k," Nicky stated, "that would do it I guess. When did this happen? And how did you find out about it?"

"I went to Maxim's house, and that woman," Red growled, "was sitting around, acting like she owned the place; acting like my son was her son. I wanted to strangle her!"

"Okay, well," Nicky chuckled nervously, "good on you for the not strangling bit. I'll give you credit where credit is due." She heard Red sniffle over the line, and Nicky sighed, "Jesus, Red, I'm sorry. That really sucks, but it doesn't really surprise me to be honest. Was Dmitri supposed to stay celibate that entire time?"

"I did," Red said coldly, "I didn't think about anybody else until we were divorced, and I didn't act on anything until he was rotting in the ground!"

"I'm still amazed you managed to hold all of that in for so many years," Nicky told her. "No wonder you were so insatiable after you finally gave in; you walked funny for weeks afterwards. Poor Gloria, I bet this is the first break she's had."

"Nicky…" Red said warningly, gritting her teeth.

"Okay, I'm sorry," Nicky said reflectively, clearly Red was not going to tolerate any deflecting or jokes from her at the moment. "You're the better person, and Dmitri is a scum bucket. But, come on, he's dead now; is it really worth putting all this energy into hating him? And why are you mad at your sons over it? What could they have done? Lied between them every night, followed them around like hound dogs, to make sure that nothing happened?"

"Don't be vulgar," Red snapped. "And I don't give a f**k who Dmitri f**ks, I'm just grateful it is never going to me again. But they could have told me what was going on!" Red spit out bitterly, "why did they lie to me about it!"

"Probably because they knew you were going to react like this," said Nicky slowly, so that the words would hopefully resonate with her. "I mean, isn't that why you still haven't told them about Gloria? Because you're scared of how they will react?"

"That has nothing to do with anything," Red said dismissively, "this affair was going on since Maxim was sixteen years old. He couldn't have found a moment to let me know that they replaced me!"

"If they had replaced you, they wouldn't have bothered to keep visiting you," Nicky said matter-of-factly, "and they came to visit almost every week." She was annoyed that she was in a position of having to defend the boys to Red, but she seriously thought that her mother was being a bit hard on them. Dmitri had probably told them not to tell her, and letting her know about it would only have made her act crazier than she already did. "And let's be honest mom," Nicky decided to be brave, safe in the knowledge that Red couldn't murder her through the phone. "You do care that Dmitri f**ked somebody else. You can't pretend with me."

"Whose side are you on?" Red asked her harshly, running a hand down and up her bare leg repetitively.

"Yours, mommy," Nicky said reassuringly, "always yours. I wish I could be mad at them over this, I sort of like being the only child, so I wouldn't mind you giving them the silent treatment for a little while. But you have always told me that what happened between Marka, my dad, and the boyfriends, had nothing to do with me. Well, doesn't that apply to your sons too? I'm not sure what you think them telling you would have accomplished back then. Yes, they should have told you before, or at least immediately after, you were released, since the woman seems to hang around enough still, but that's an awkward thing to do. They must have inherited their father's intelligence." Red scoffed at her words, but Nicky could hear her breath against the phone calming, as she took steady inhales and exhales that echoed over the line. "If only all your kids could be as wonderful as me," she said sweetly.

"You are wonderful, honey," Red said emotionally, "what would I do without you?"

"Probably p!ss off and alienate everybody you know," said Nicky seriously, "but that's okay, you'll always have me. I can handle you! Where are you right now, by the way?"

"At a motel," Red said unabashedly, "I couldn't stand to look at them, last night."

"Uh, huh," said Nicky, "well can you stand to look at them today? Come on, Red. You don't really want to sit around in a gloomy motel room when you could be hanging out with your grandkids, or helping Lida make more cookies or some sh!t."

"I don't know," sighed Red, "I don't know what to do." She shook her head, as though that would shake away all her bad thoughts, and rubbed at her blotchy eyes, which felt dry and itchy after her night of crying. Red had cried more last night, than she had probably cried in the last twenty years of her life combined. She had suppressed her tears, refusing to display such a blatant sign of weakness, but now there was nobody she needed to be strong for. Her sons all considered her to be a delicate, old lady, in need of their care; and Red was even unable to stop herself from leaning on Nicky more than she was comfortable with these days. Maybe she had never actually been strong, maybe she had just gotten good at pretending she was, while everyone around her had humored her. Maybe this pitiful, dependent woman was who she really was. And if that was the case, Red needed to break away from her fast. She hated this side of herself. Red hated who she had become.

"You need to talk to them," Nicky told her directly, "you need to listen to what they say, and then you need to tell them everything about you and Gloria. Because in case you hadn't noticed, you're being a bit of a hypocrite. How can you expect them to have felt brave enough to tell you about Dmitri's girlfriend, when you are too afraid to tell them about _your_ girlfriend? You're the mom, Red! Set an example."

"I'm scared," Red admitted so quietly that Nicky barely heard her, "telling them will just make it seem so real."

"Don't you want it to be real?" asked Nicky directly, "don't you love her?"

"Of course, I do!" Red exclaimed, horrified that Nicky would question that.

Well then?" Nicky asked her firmly.

"Maxim is gay," Red said suddenly, changing the subject "can you believe that?"

"I had my suspicions," said Nicky casually, "how did you find out about that?"

"I met his…. partner," Red told her awkwardly, as she brushed the hair that had fallen into her eyes out of the way. "You had suspicions that my son was gay? Why wouldn't you tell me about them?"

"Because I didn't know if I was right," said Nicky, "and if I told you what I thought, you would have freaked out."

"Why would I freak out about that?" asked Red dumbfoundedly. Did everybody seriously think she was some sort of loose canon?

Nicky bit back a snort. "Well," she reasoned, "maybe now you wouldn't freak out. But pre-Gloria you totally would have. Admit it."

"No," answered Red, stiffly.

"Okay then," Nicky laughed, "no problem, it makes no difference to me. I have to go now. Gloria said she'd call you a little later. Will you please just promise me that you'll talk to them? It's just going to get worse, the longer you put it off."

"Fine, I will," sighed Red.

"I love you, mommy," said Nicky adorably, "I'll try and call you tonight after dinner, if I can. You'll be okay."

Red breathed heavily, wishing she could see how Nicky looked when she said those words. "I love you, too."


	12. Chapter 12

Red had no sooner ended her phone call with Nicky, when it started buzzing again. This time the call was from Yuri, Red noted, regarding the screen for a couple of rings before answering. She had promised Nicky she would talk to them today, and if Red were being honest with herself, she would have to admit that she was anxious to do so. Last night had been excruciating, all by herself in such a dismal and lonely place. Red hadn't felt as miserable as she had the previous night, since her first few nights in prison, before she had befriended Norma and began to form a family inside to fulfill those needs. Maxim had been correct when he had told his mother than she needed them, like it or not. Her night alone in that motel had confirmed to Red that she would always need her sons, no matter how angry they made her. That was why all of this was so devastating to her. Red hungered for her children so incessantly, and her biggest fear had always been losing them. Even having to share them with Klara was devastating to Red. She just wanted to be their mom. She didn't even know how to exist outside of that role.

"Hi, Yuri," she said pointedly, holding the phone up to her ear. Red's voice was calm and stable, and Yuri did not detect any anger or hurt in her tone. For her part, Red had to admit that she was sort of curious to see how her oldest would try to spin all of this. Yuri had always been the most headstrong of Red's children. He was solid, intelligent, and decent, but Red had always known that she didn't have as much control over him as his younger brothers. Yuri was an independent spirit, must like herself.

"Good morning, Mama," said Yuri calmly, relieved that she had answered. His mother sounded tired, like the same sort of mental fatigue she had always exhibited when he would visit her in prison and she'd try and convince him she was okay. "I wanted to call you as soon as I woke up this morning, but I didn't want to bother you too early. I'm glad you picked up now, though. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Red said shortly.

"I never agreed with what Papa did, Ma," said Yuri, cutting straight to the chase, "it felt wrong to me on every level. I didn't know what to do."

"I'm not upset about what Papa did," Red told him, "I'm upset that you boys didn't feel like you could tell me." She pulled one of the bed pillows onto her lap and squeezed it, hugging it to herself.

Yuri paused. "That was wrong of us," he said quietly, "I'm very sorry we weren't honest. It just seemed cruel to tell you something that would upset you, and that you couldn't do anything about anyways. I regret it now, but I thought I was doing the right thing."

"Yes, I couldn't do anything about my sons' replacing me with a new mother figure," Red said bluntly, "and yes, I realize that it is my own fault, but that doesn't mean I don't get to have feelings about it."

"Nobody replaced you," Yuri said calmly, "I didn't even live at home when Klara moved in, and at eighteen, the last thing I was looking for was a new mother. You're it for me, Ma. Max and Vasily lived with her so they naturally bonded and developed a relationship with her. Would you rather them have been miserable?"

"I'd rather them have had me," said Red miserably, squeezing the pillow even tighter, "at least I got you out of the house, but your brothers were still little. None of this was ever supposed to have happened."

"It did happen though, Ma," Yuri told her smoothly, "and we can't get that time back. It's over now, though, and we have each other again. You don't to feel so threatened about any of this; Klara is a member of our family, but she has her own spot, the same way Nicky has her own spot. Obviously, the situations aren't entirely similar and that's why nobody expects you to have to be around her. You can pretend that she doesn't exist, that's what I usually try to do."

"You don't like her?" Red sounded almost happy as she asked the question, and her whole body perked up from its slouched position and appeared lighter.

"I like her," said Yuri defensively, "I just never wanted her as part of this family. She's a nice lady, though, Ma, and she tried really hard to make us like her. She took good care of Papa, too."

"Well, of course she took care of Papa," Red said mockingly, "that man could barely tie his shoe laces without my help, of course he needed to recruit another woman to do the job once he got me locked away."

"That's not why," said Yuri warily. He cleared his throat. "Mamochka, do you really want me to tell you the whole truth, even if it hurts?"

"Tell me the truth," Red said fiercely, "don't play with me," she slouched back down from her more upright position.

"Okay then," said Yuri, "the truth is that Papa met Klara and they fell in love. He was completely conflicted between his commitment to you and his love for her, he felt terrible about it Mamochka. He told me once that he always wanted to be faithful, but it was hard to do that when you meet someone who lights up your entire world, after living with somebody who regarded him with little more than contempt since the beginning."

Yuri paused to see if his mother would respond to that but when she said nothing, he carried on. "Klara told him she understood his sense of obligation to you, so she never interfered with him visiting you, sending you money, and she never pushed for a divorce; I wanted to hate her, Mama, but Papa was so happy. I'd never seen him that way ever with you, no offense. I'm not even sure that I ever heard him really laugh before, and once he met Klara he laughed all the time."

"Probably laughing at me, that blithering fool," said Red bitterly, who did not seem at all won over by Yuri's touching story about his father's happiness. Yuri had a point, her and Dmitri's marriage had not been a joyful union, but rather a begrudging commitment to stay together and raise the children that they had brought into this world. Red was never very rational when she was hurting, however, and all she had really taken from Yuri's story was that she had been a miserable soul-sucking person to be married to, and Dmitri had finally found somebody to love him the way she never had. Was she supposed to be pleased that Dmitri had fallen in love, while she was locked up in prison doing penance for crimes they had _both_ committed? Was Red supposed to be grateful that Dmitri didn't just forget about her and let her rot in there? It might not be reasonable, but all Yuri's story had done was make her hate Dmitri more. She was just grateful that she had been the one to file for their divorce. It would have been humiliating for Dmitri to have ended it, and officially left her for another woman. Red threw the pillow, she had been holding, against the wall.

"I want talk about this more with you, Ma," said Yuri, "and anything else you want to talk about. No more secrets, let's just get everything out in the open. But can we do it in person? Can I come see you?"

"Yes," said Red softly, now sitting still as a statue on the edge of the bed, "I want to see you."

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes," Yuri promised, "I'm leaving the house now. I love you, Ma." Red started to get herself presentable the moment she got off the phone with her oldest son. She walked into the washroom and splashed water upon her blotchy and puffy eyes. She had had a terrible night, and her insides still felt hallow and raw from crying; but speaking with two of her children than morning had transpired a hope within her that she hadn't been able to find in the heat of the moment before. Especially Nicky. Nicky's love was unconditional to Red, even though it disturbed her to realize that Nicky clung to her the way her boys must have clung to Klara. Red was experiencing both sides of the situation now, and she certainly knew which one she preferred. Who would have ever thought that she and Marka would ever have anything in common in how they had mothered their children, but at least Red had always tried to be there in whatever way she could. It had never been her choice to leave her boys.

Knocking broke Red out of her reverie as she glanced towards the closed door, her eyes creased while she applied her lipstick. It had only been about five minutes since Yuri had said goodbye, so there was no way that he had just been leaving Vasily's home when he had called. Annoyed, Red put down her lipstick and went to let him in. "Fifteen minutes?" she raised her eyebrows at him, as she stood there in bare feet, not having had time to pull her socks on yet, or even apply her eye makeup.

"Okay, so I might have already been on my way when I called," Yuri admitted, skidding around his mother and plopping himself onto the unmade bed. In his hands was a brown paper bag, that he sat next to him, on the mattress. "I just thought it sounded better if I asked first."

"And I bet if I'm ever anxious for you to show up early, you'll end up being twenty minutes late," Red grumbled, walking back into the small bathroom, but keeping the door open so that they could talk while she finished applying her makeup.

"Not without a good explanation," Yuri assured her. "Whenever you're ready, I've brought us lunch." He motioned to the brown bag he had brought.

"You can go ahead," Red told him disinterestedly, coming out of the bathroom to retrieve her hairbrush from her purse.

"I'll wait for you," Yuri said smoothly, pulling out sandwiches and a couple of bottles of soda. "I don't want to eat alone," he explained, "but I am really hungry, so hurry it up will you. Who are you trying to impress?" Red glared at him, as she finished running the brush through her hair.

"Fine," she relented, returning the hairbrush to her purse, and joining Yuri on the bed. It was hard to be stubborn when you as hungry as she was; Red had now missed supper and breakfast. Yuri smiled, and passed her a sandwich laid out on a napkin. They ate in silence for a few moments, and finally Red asked the question which was most weighing on her mind. "How's your brother?"

"Max?" Yuri asked, "he's a little upset. Obviously, he wanted things to go better than they did, but he gets that you needed some time to process. It was quite a shock for all of you to come head to head without warning like that."

"Did you know about him?" Red asked sharply, "did your father know about him?" She took the proffered bottle of soda from Yuri, and took a small sip.

"Yes and yes," said Yuri, "He told all of us about five years ago, when things started getting serious between him and Luca, but he told Klara first. Papa was uncomfortable with it, and refused to acknowledge it for the longest time, but Klara kept telling him off and finally he invited Luca over for a meal one night. They got along pretty well after that."

"Five years?" Red asked, "he's been in a relationship for five years, and he didn't say anything to me?" She screwed the lid back on the bottle and dropped it on to the bed.

"Well, technically longer than that," said Yuri, "that was just when he decided to introduce us. Before that, I think he was more secretive, he doesn't really like to talk about all of that. Max just knew you'd be disappointed in him. Once you introduced us to Nicky, I tried to get him to introduce you to Luca, because you had no problem with Nicky being gay, but he still wouldn't."

Red dabbed at her mouth with her napkin, and then began to mindlessly shred it into little pieces. She cleared her throat. "The worst part of all of that is that any of you boys would ever think I would be disappointed in you because of who you loved. All I've ever wanted was for you boys to be safe and happy. I'm very happy for your brother, I wish he could have trusted me enough to include me in his happiness. Maybe, he was right not to, though, I don't really know. I do know I'm a very different person than I was even a few years ago. I always lived pretty traditionally, with your Papa and as your mother, but that isn't always the best way for some people, I've learned. I'm glad Maxim had enough intuitiveness to recognize what was right for him now, that's a lot better than not figuring it out until you're older, like me."

"Like you?" asked Yuri perplexed, looking at his mother in scrutiny, through the piercing blue eyes that he had inherited from her.

"Like me," Red repeated, and then her mouth twisted in a physical show of uncertainty. This was as close as she had gotten to broaching that subject with any of her children, besides Nicky who had known from the beginning after she had walked in on Gloria and her together. Red's stomach did a flip flop, and her heart fluttered, in a display of nervous excitement. Now that she had decided that she needed to tell them, Red continually alternated between fear at revealing herself, and eagerness to talk about Gloria. Red had no doubt about how much she loved Gloria, and she was glad that she was almost done hiding her.

"Honey," Red murmured quietly, as her cheeks flamed and she tugged at her collar in a bid to cool herself.

"What is it, Mamochka?" asked Yuri, as he watched the physical response his mother was having to whatever it was that she had on her mind, with fascination. Red's cheeks were flushed, and she couldn't resist the impulse to pull at and play with her hair. She brushed her hands through it, and tugged irritatingly when her fingers got caught in a knot that had not been properly untangled, since Yuri had been rushing her.

"I think," said Red slowly, continuing the fight to free her fingers from her tangled hair, "that I don't want to stay here anymore. It's dank and depressing, and I want to leave. Do you think that will be alright?" She succeeded in freeing her hand, and brushed it across her chest, before resting it upon her shoulder.

"Of course, it is," said Yuri expressively, "Mama, nobody wanted you to stay here alone. That was your decision, and I understand why, but you didn't have to leave. Vasily almost drove over here to get you last night, but Max told him not to; said it wouldn't be a good idea."

"It wouldn't have been," Red admitted quietly, "I'm too stubborn, and too unreasonable when I'm upset." She wriggled her hands beneath her thighs, so that she would be forced to stop fidgeting with them. Slouching on the edge of the bed, her tip toes brushing the floor, she leaned her face against her own shoulder, like a remorseful child. Their withholding and dishonesty hurt her feelings, just as much as it hurt her ego. Red could understand their hesitancy, and she knew that them telling her while she was serving her time would not have gone over well. Such news of another woman in her place, would have consumed Red with a jealousy and a helplessness that would have eaten away at her in there. It was better, mentally, for her to learn about Klara now, although it upset Red to have to admit that her sons knew what was best for her. She hated the way the lines had blurred between her authority and their dependency. Red hated to be dependent on them, even if it was just temporary.

Yuri watched the timidity in his mother's body language with concern, but also a fair amount of appreciation. This was how his mother had been all his life; gentle, honest, and more than a little awkward. It had been most shocking to witness her evolution in prison from his meek mother Galina, to the tough and daunting Red. He understood why she had needed to become that way to survive prison, but it had unnerved him more than a little bit. However, deep within she was still the same person he had always known her to be, even if she still wasn't comfortable revealing her weaker side. She was getting better at it though, and more tolerant about them trying to care for her. Her sons just wanted to help her adjust. Red did not always need to be so strong.

"Do you want to get ready to go now?" Yuri asked, when his mother still hadn't said any more after a lengthy silence. Yuri could tell that she had a lot on her mind, and had possibly been considering sharing what it was with him for a small moment, before shutting herself away again. Whatever she had been about to say, was obviously something important to her. Yuri had considered questioning it, but then had decided to wait. Patience was a virtue that he had inherited from his father.

"Yes, I suppose," Red said tightly, standing up. She looked exhausted, even though she had only woken up a couple of hours prior. It had been a long and lonely night for her.

"Okay, good," said Yuri, standing also and wrapping his arms around his mother to give her a hug.

Red breathed heavily before she reciprocated, but only for a moment. "Okay, can we get the f**k out of here now?" she asked Yuri impatiently, pulling away from him and walking towards the door.

Yuri shook his head, as he watched his mother quickly shrug her coat on and walk out into the sunny winter day. "Just a reminder that it was your idea to stay here in the first place, I know it wasn't for happy reasons, but you're telling me that you didn't enjoy that time and space to yourself at all?"

Yuri unlocked the passenger side to his car, and opened the door for his mother to get in. "Not in the least," Red told him resolutely, climbing into the seat and looking up at him with a serious expression, "it was lonely," she admitted quietly.

"Well you never need to do that again," Yuri told her, leaning his elbows on the top of the open door, "I'm going to go return the key to the office, and I'll be right back," he shut the door firmly, and walked away. Red shivered in the cold interior, annoyed that her son hadn't had enough sense to turn the car on so that it could warm up. Fortunately, he came back very quickly.

"Vasily's?" Yuri asked, as she shifted the car into reverse, and began backing out of the parking space.

"Hmm," Red considered, tilting her head to the side, "what is Maxim doing today? I'd like to go there and speak with him, so long as _that_ woman isn't around."

"She won't be," Yuri promised, "but Luca probably will be. It would probably be good for the two of you to spend some time together, though. If you're feeling up to that sort of thing today, Mama. It's okay if you want to wait."

"No, I want to," said Red slowly, "I think that would be a good idea. Do you know what Vasily is doing today? Maybe he could come over too. I'd like to speak to all four of you."

"What about Lida and the kids?" asked Yuri. He pulled his car to the side of the curb, still in the parking lot, and pulled out his cell phone so that he could text his youngest brother.

"I think, just Vasily right now," said Red, "that would probably be better." Yuri texted Vasily the message, and his reply came back almost instantly. He had been waiting around all day to hear word about how his mother was. He was a bit scared to face her, even if Lida told him he was being ridiculous for feeling that way.

"He'll meet us there," said Yuri, placing his phone down and recommencing his driving. "I also told Max that we're coming, and he said 'great'."

"Okay," said Red disconcertingly. They drove the rest of the way in silence, pulling back up to the familiar white house, with the black tin roof. Red looked up at the house with a sense of foreboding, as all the emotions that had been calmed within her, began to bubble to the surface again. She stared at the black painted door, and felt a familiar invocation of rage as she recalled the way Klara had walked through it as though she had owned the place, or at least with the comfortability of somebody who clearly spent a great deal of time there.

Red unbuckled her seatbelt and stepped out of the car, seeming more confident than she felt. She began to walk up the steps towards the porch, not waiting for Yuri who locked the car and hurried to catch up with her. "Hi," said Maxim, smiling nervously, as he swung open the front door and rushed out of the house, wearing no coat and just his slippers. He had been watching for them out of the window, and couldn't resist coming out to meet them. "Hi, Mama," he said more quietly, as he reached her and embraced her on the steps.

"Hi, darling," said Red quietly, brushing his cheek with her hand, and kissing him gently. "It's alright." Maxim let out a breath that he hadn't realized he had been holding. How welcoming was his mother's affection, after a sleepless night of lying in bed and worrying about her. Klara had been waiting for him when he had returned, ready to assure him that, while it was unfortunate Galina had found out this way, they had done the right thing by sparing her the truth for all of these years. Klara would never criticize her stepchildren's mother to them in any form, she was smart enough to keep her opinions of Red to herself. Klara had just wanted to reassure Maxim went he returned, and Vasily, whom she had spoken to when she went home that night, that she was there to support them through this transition. Klara could not help but pity the woman, even if she considered all of Red's losses to be entirely her own fault. Dmitri had played the role of remorseful, forgiving, and devoted husband so well, that Klara had never held him accountable for any of Red's misfortune. As far as she was concerned, there was a very good reason that Dmitri had been pardoned, when Galina had not been. Galina had crossed the line, and it was horrible of her to try and make the children she had let down feel guilty for developing a relationship with the woman who truly had their best interests at heart.

"Let's go inside, honey," said Red, sliding her hand into Maxim's. "It's cold out here." They walked hand in hand into the small house. The interior was cheerful and old, with rickety, crooked, hardwood flooring, and panelled walls that were painted in cheerful colours that brightened the space and complimented the high ceilings. The house was open concept, the main floor a large open room that housed an eggshell blue living room on one side, with a sunny yellow kitchen in the far half, with the staircase in the centre of the room, leading up to a bedroom that was very visible to anybody who looked up at the wide, open, stairwell.

"This is beautiful," Red expressed truthfully, looking around and taking in the airiness and character of the home, which was very small, but somehow didn't seem that way. Its openness would require you to really enjoy the company of the person you lived with; she and Dmitri would have lost their minds in such a layout, but it was exactly the sort of setup Red imagined sharing with Gloria someday. Of course, theirs would need an extra bedroom or two, to accommodate their children.

"Thanks," said Luca, sitting up from the lazy boy arm chair that he had been watching tv from, and placing his can of beer on the lamp table. "We've lived in this place for about two years, and it's unlike any other house I've seen around here. It feels more like a loft, the previous owner did a lot of renovations to it."

"Well, it looks great," Red told him, continuing to look around so that she would not have to make eye contact with him, "it really feels like a home."

"It makes me wish I had a home," Yuri joked lamely, "I'm getting pretty tired of sleeping on Vasily's couch." He kicked off his shoes, and plopped himself on the beige leather couch, that matched the arm chair that Luca had just vacated.

"Have you spoken with Anna at all lately?" asked Luca sympathetically, heading back to his seat, and giving Red some space to remove her boots and coat. He didn't want to overwhelm her, although he was actually pleasantly surprised that she seemed fairly amicable towards him. He hadn't expected his mother-in-law to exuberate such a warmth. Even after yesterday's disaster, Red seemed happy that she was here, although uncertain on how to approach the situation.

"We talk," said Yuri resentfully, "we talk about how much child support I'm supposed to pay, and when I can drive up to visit the kids for an afternoon. Little stuff."

"She still with that guy?" Luca asked him carefully.

"Uh, huh," Yuri sighed, "but at least the kids aren't calling him daddy, like I feared. They still seem happy to see me when I visit, even though I'm sure he spoils them like crazy to win them over." Red, who had been about to join Yuri on the couch, froze mid-step as she listened to what he was saying, and recalled the advice she had given him, before she had been aware of the similarities in their situation. Red had told Yuri to make sure he stayed as involved in his kids lives as possible, and that he did not pick senseless fights with his ex-wife and her new boyfriend. Now, Redalso needed to be a good person in a less than ideal situation. It was what was best for her sons, and it was what was best for her relationship with them.

"Knock, knock," Vasily said loudly, walking into the house without actually knocking. "How's everyone today?" He smiled at them all. "Are you in a sharing mood today?" he asked Luca, with a mischievous smile, as he beckoned to the can of beer in Luca's hand.

"Perhaps," said Luca, taking a savouring sip, "so long as you fetch me another one out of the fridge too."

"Sure," said Vasily agreeably, "I've been craving one. Lida, won't let me keep the stuff in the house anymore. Says, we never have parties. I really don't understand her logic though, there's enough people in this family for it to be a party everyday."

"I'm pretty sure it's because you act even dumber drunk then you do when you're sober," Maxim called after his brother, "at least stick to the beer, since you can't handle the harder stuff." He walked over to the liquor cabinet and pulled out a large clear bottle. "I've got vodka," he smiled at his mother and Yuri, "anyone fancy a drink? It's Sunday afternoon, and we have nowhere to be."

"Give me two shots, mixed with orange juice," Red told Maxim with a smile, sitting down cautiously next to Yuri. She hadn't even hesitated to respond. Her son had read her mind, a little liquid courage was exactly what she needed right now, and it actually made her a little bit excited to have her drink of choice, after so many years of prison hooch.

"Two shots?" Maxim asked, in mock outrage. "Mama!" he teased, as he walked over to the kitchen island with the bottle of vodka. He opened the fridge to retrieve the carton of orange juice.

"I'll have the same," Yuri called to his brother, "only make mine with cranberry juice, if you have."

"I don't have," Maxim replied, "it's orange juice, take it or leave it. Do you want ice in yours, Ma?"

"Sure," said Red, watching Maxim prepare the three drinks for her, Yuri, and himself. She sipped at her drink slowly, savouring ever bit of it, but also wanting to ensure that she kept her wits about her. The tv was still programmed to some stupid sport game, but none of them were paying attention to it, and Red found herself truly relaxing as she watched her sons, and Luca, bantering back and forth with one another. The relationships between her children were so wholesome and close, probably even closer than most siblings tended to be. Red wondered if that was just the way they were, or if was because of her leaving, because of her mothering, or because of _Klara's_ mothering. Regardless of why, their friendship was very endearing to Red. It made her happy.

Red's phone started ringing, and she reached into her bag for it with the usual urgency that came since she knew it could always be Nicky or Gloria phoning. This time it wasn't, but Red decided to answer it anyways. "Hello," Red said perkily, she had only had about half of her drink so far but she was already feeling its effects. The warmth in her face, the buzz in her head, and the giddiness that always surfaced when she was happy and relaxed.

"Galina!" said Lourdes, "how are you? I've been thinking about you all day?"

"You have?" Red laughed, "why are you thinking about me?" She handed Yuri her glass, and stood up to go walk towards the far wall of the kitchen, giving herself a small morsel of privacy.

"Are you okay?" Lourdes asked.

"Yes," said Red soberly, forcing herself to focus, "I'm just visiting with my sons." She looked out the kitchen window, her back to the others.

"Oh, well, I guess you're busy then," said Lourdes dismissively, "I was going to ask if you'd like to come over here for supper this evening?"

"For supper? At your house," Red sounded reluctant, "I'm not sure that's wise. Gloria just told the boys about us, and I don't think it would be a good idea for me to see them right now. They probably need some space."

"Oh, they won't even be here, _mami_ ," said Lourdes, "they went to a birthday party and won't be back until late tonight. I'm just here by myself, and I thought I'd invite you over because I could use the company."

"Oh, well sure, in that case," said Red, her free hand resting on her hot face, "I'd like that."

"Great," said Lourdes, "see you around six? Your sons know where I live."

I'll see you then," Red replied, "and thank you." She turned off the phone, and spun around to find herself face to face with Vasily.

"I was getting another beer," Vasily told her, motioning to the one in his hand, "who was that?" He leaned against the counter, and stared at his mother with peculiar amusement. It sounded like she had made a friend somewhere, and for that he was happy for her.

"It was Lourdes, Julio and Benny Mendoza's aunt," Red told him calmly, "and that's your last beer, by the way. I'm not letting you come home drunk, and upset your wife." She turned away from her youngest son.

"Nobody gets drunk off of just two beers," Vasily told her, trailing behind his mother, as she walked back towards the couch, "except maybe you. You're all rosy in the face, and you're not even done your first drink." He popped open the tab of his beer and took a long sip. "so, why is she calling you?"

Red ignored the question directed at her back. Pretending she hadn't heard Vasily, Red reached to take her glass from Yuri, and took a long drink. Her heart was hammering, as she willed her son to just drop it. She wasn't ready yet to have this conversation with him yet. She thought she would be a little more in control when it began.

"why did who call?" asked Maxim, "who was that?" He looked between his mother and brother.

"Lourdes, called Ma," Vasily told him, as Red sat down on the opposite end of the couch from Yuri. Yuri looked over at his mother with great interest, but Red determinedly avoided making eye contact.

Red took a sip from her glass, as she felt all the eyes in the room heavy on her. "Why are you all looking at me like that?" she asked in annoyance, when she couldn't stand it a moment more.

"Because your face is as red as your hair," Vasily told her, rolling his eyes, "are the boys okay?"

"Yes, they're fine," said Red dismissively, "she just invited me over to their house for dinner."

"Why?" said Maxim, posing the question they all wanted to ask. Red's response was to chug all the remaining contents of her glass. When it was empty, she lowered it, and sighed. "Everything okay, Mama?" Maxim asked her.

"I'm fine," Red rolled her eyes. She stood up and walked back to the kitchen, where she poured herself another ounce of vodka, mixed with orange juice. Perhaps, it was just being without for so long, but Red thought this vodka was the best quality she had ever drank. Certainly, better than the cheap stuff she used to buy for herself as a young woman. Red sipped this one a little slower, standing on the kitchen side, while her sons regarded her with bemusement and anticipation. Sighing once more, she walked back over to them all. "Look," she said, standing next to the chair that Luca was sitting in, with Maxim perched on the arm, "since we're being honest here, with everything that happened yesterday—

I thought we put that aside for now?" Yuri interrupted her.

"We did," Red stammered nervously, "this isn't about that…it's about me." They all looked confused as they stared at her silently, waiting for her to continue. "Okay," Red sighed, as she made her way back to the couch. Red curled up on the edge of the sofa, her feet tucked up, with her glass clutched tightly in her hands, and propped on her lap. She stared intently into her drink, as though it held all the wisdom she was currently seeking, determined to avoid looking at any of them. "This isn't exactly easy to say, but I very well can't continue to be upset about everything that happened yesterday, if I don't tell you what's really going on."

"I'm so confused," Yuri told her, with a nervous chuckle, as he took another sip from his own glass. Maxim nodded in agreement, staring intently at his mother with a look of deep concern and curiosity.

"This have something to do with Gloria?" asked Vasily, "why her aunt is calling? Is she upset with you or something?"

"No, No," said Red firmly, "Gloria and I are fine. I met her aunt yesterday, and she seems great." Red's cheeks turned possibly redder, and Vasily could tell it was not just a response to the vodka.

"That's nice," said Vasily, "so are you starting a book club or something? I've been driving those kids around for years, and Lourdes never asked me to dinner."

"We're getting to know one another," Red told him, "Gloria and I are friends, so she wanted to meet me. Well, actually," Red sighed, taking another long sip of her drink before continuing, "Gloria and I are not just friends. We are much more than friends." She lowered her glass but continued to stare at it.

"What does that mean?" asked Yuri, "more than friends? Are you together or something?"

"That's what it means," Red told him quietly, squeezing her glass so tightly that she was surprised it didn't shatter.

"That's…. surprising," said Vasily, the first to speak. He also took a long sip of his drink.

"It's not that surprising," Maxim told his brother, from his perch on the arm of Luca's chair, "I sort of wondered."

"Why did you wonder?" Red asked Maxim sharply, turning to stare at him with a frown.

"Well I only really suspected anything after visitation the last time," Maxim told his mother calmly, "it was pretty obvious."

"It wasn't obvious!" Red protested, "We were very discreet."

"I'm scared to see what you're like when you're being obvious, then," Maxim laughed.

"Is that why you asked us to start giving her sons drives?" asked Yuri.

"We were just friends then," Red told him, running a finger around the brim of her glass and staring at it as though it were the most fascinating thing ever. "We were friends for a long time. We spent a lot of time together, we talked about everything, and then it just…. happened," she tapped her fingers against the side of her glass, "I fell in love with my best friend."

"That's how we started," Luca told her, motioning to himself and Maxim. "We were friends for over a year before we realized how much we really meant to one another." He patted Maxim's thigh encouragingly.

"I liked her when I spoke to her at visitation," Maxim told his mother with an encouraging smile, Red didn't see it though because she was still staring fixedly at her glass. "And I like her sons, and aunt too."

"That's good, honey," Red told him, looking up to meet his eye for a brief second, before she quickly lowered her gaze once more. "Gloria and I are going to share our lives together, and I hope that her family and our family can blend together somehow."

"Well, congratulations," said Luca with a warm smile.

"Thank you," said Red softly, "I know it's a lot to hear." She stole glances at her three sons in turn. Vasily was standing, swaying his weight from side to side, as he regarded her with scrutiny, Yuri was staring at the own floor, his own body language mirroring his mother's uncannily as he processed what she had revealed, Maxi looked thoughtful.

"I'm happy for you, Mamochka," Maxim was the first to say, after Luca nudged him.

"You are?" Red asked hopefully, her shoulders straightening up as she seemed to regain a smidgen of her confidence.

"We all are," Vasily spoke up, "It's a surprise, but this is good news, Ma. We all can appreciate that." Yuri nodded in agreement with his brother, but continued to stare fixedly at the floor, looking slightly embarrassed. "Here, Ma," Vasily said enthusiastically, walking around the coffee table to bestow her with a hug and a kiss, as she sat on the couch.

Yuri watched the exchange, between Vasily and his mother. Red sniffled and dabbed at her eyes once they had broken apart. She felt very fortunate to have the children she had, they weren't perfect, but she could tell that the loved her right now. "So, do we get to meet her?" Yuri asked with an accepting smile.

"You can meet her," Red told him quietly, squeezing Vasily's hand, that was still holding hers, as she looked over at her oldest son with a grateful smile, "we can go visit her."

"I want to," Yuri told her, "I need to make sure that she's worthy of you and all."

"You're going to be wondering what the f**k she's doing with me," Red replied, tapping the side of her glass incessantly, once again, "Gloria not being good enough is hardly a concern."

"Don't underestimate yourself," Yuri told her, leaning across the couch to kiss his mother's cheek, "I'm sure Gloria considers herself to be very lucky." He kissed her alternate cheek, before moving away again. "Thanks for telling us, Mamochka," he said, "I know that wasn't easy, and…it _is_ a surprise, but we are happy for you."

"Thank you," said Red softly, feeling as though a huge suffocating weight had been lifted off of her. It was incredibly freeing to tell the truth, and to no longer have to hide somebody that she loved so much. It was a good thing.


	13. Chapter 13

"We've lived in this apartment for almost two years now," Lourdes was saying to Red, while she stood at the narrow counter and diced up the chicken for the soup they were preparing for dinner. After a pleasant afternoon with her sons, Yuri had driven Red over to Lourdes' place, and Red was very glad that she had accepted Lourdes' invitation. Red enjoyed the older woman's company, she was very different from Gloria, but her bluntness and intensity appealed to Red. "I like it better then our last apartment," Lourdes continued, "but it's more expensive too. I needed to get us out of our other place because there were a lot of shady characters in that building that I didn't want the boys exposed to. Of course," she shrugged and shook her head with a disappointing sigh, "now they just run off and find them in the streets."

"You think they're in with a bad crowd?" Red asked her in concern. She was sitting at the small table that was shoved up against the wall so that there would be more room to move around in the cramped kitchen. Her hands were swiftly cutting up the onions, while she angled her head away so that they wouldn't make her tear up. Completing the task, she deposited the onions into a bowl, and wiped a few stray tears onto her sleeve, before reaching for the carrots.

"I don't know for certain" said Lourdes, "but Benny always was prone to trouble. The boy came home with a black eye last week, and wouldn't tell me where he got it." She stirred the stock on the stove with precision, while Red watched her back intently. Gloria's aunt seemed tired to her. Lourdes hadn't signed up for any of this, and it was obvious that the boys didn't make things easy for her. "I really don't know what will happen to that boy," Lourdes said testily, "if he keeps going the way he is, he'll probably wind up in prison, just like his mother." Lourdes looked over at Red awkwardly, as she realized what she had just said. "Sorry," Lourdes said briskly, "I didn't mean any offense."

"That's alright," Red said wryly, "I understand the concern. I was under the impression that Benny was doing better, though?" Red cocked her head questioningly, "playing sports and going to his classes."

"There's that," Lourdes admitted sardonically, "but I don't predict it lasting too long. It was your son, Vasily, who encouraged him to do that, did you know?" Red looked slightly surprised, but pleased. "Yes," Lourdes nodded, "so Benny would have somewhere to hang out after school, besides the streets. I'm surprised he has stuck with it this long, actually. He usually gives up on his interests pretty fast."

"Well, maybe this one will stick," said Red hopefully, turning her attention back to the carrots she was preparing. "That was my biggest concern for my own sons," Red proceeded to say, "Keeping them busy with activities and homework helped. They didn't have time to get into trouble. Hopefully, that continues to work with Benny." She said this while slicing the carrots with graceful hands. This was always where she felt most at home, in the kitchen; it inspired an openness in her, where she typically would be withholding. Her and Gloria's first kiss had been in the kitchen, and it was where her family had always traditionally congregated, with Red at the centre. Even currently preparing food she ordinarily wouldn't eat, right now, was making Red happy. Chicken Tortilla Soup, one of Gloria's favourites, Lourdes had said, and one which Red had said she needed to learn how to make, because Gloria swore she was never cooking anything ever again once she got out of Litchfield. "The kitchen is yours," Gloria had told Red, one evening as they had cuddled together in the vacant kitchen talking about their future, "I'll go soak in a bubble bath until you tell me supper is ready."

"Your sons all grew up to be good men, in spite of everything," Lourdes said, walking to the table and pulling out the chair across from Red's. Sitting down, she reached for the celery, which still needed to be chopped. "Your ex-husband must have been a good father," Lourdes looked over at Red expectantly.

"Why would you assume that?" Red asked stiffly.

Lourdes chuckled softly, "well, because boys need their fathers. I think that's a big reason why the boys are struggling so much. Gloria decided to bear children with the sort of men that I wouldn't even trust to babysit, and now the boys pay the price."

"A lot of their pain is probably because they need their mother back too," Red said briskly. "I believe fathers are important, but in my family, it was me who poured all the love, time, and energy into my children, while Dmitri would just waltz in for a few minutes time to time when he felt like it." Red lowered her knife, and added the carrots to the bowl of vegetables. "Husbands and fathers can be overrated, and as useless as children. Dmitri got more involved once I was gone and he had no choice, but I think my boys would have been better off with me instead. I think Benny and Julio will be okay, they just need Gloria to come home."

Lourdes silently added the celery she had chopped to the bowl Red offered her. "Is the stock ready for all of this?" Red asked her.

"Go ahead and pour them in," Lourdes replied, "it shouldn't be too much longer now." She watched Red go to the stove, add the vegetables to the soup, and stir it carefully. "What are you doing?" Lourdes asked, as Red used a spoon to scoop some out of the pot to taste.

"I'm tasting it," Red told her, "I need to check on my food when it's cooking, that's when you put the love and care into it. Otherwise, it's just a mixture of ingredients." She licked her lips as she deposited the spoon in the sink.

"Love and care?" Lourdes laughed, "it's just a recipe, Galina. So long as you get the measurements right it will turn out the same every time." She reached from her seat at the table, for the rag on the counter. Since the kitchen was so small she could reach it without standing.

"Well, I would add a bit more salt to this," Red told her honestly, "as well as a dash extra of garlic powder. I wouldn't know that if I didn't taste it while it cooked."

"More salt?" Lourdes asked, though she was not offended the same way Red would be if someone had dared suggest an alteration to one of _her_ recipes. Lourdes laughed good naturedly, wiping the table clean, "as you wish. Spices are in the cupboard above the sink." From that point on, Red basically took over, incapable of resisting.

Lourdes didn't mind, as she sipped a cup of tea and rested her feet up on Red's vacant chair at the table. "Well after all this, I'll definitely make sure you get the job," Lourdes told her, "you're better than me, and I can tell that you actually enjoy it. My boss would be an idiot to pass you by, so be ready to come in on Tuesday."

"Thank goodness," Red breathed, stirring the soup while adding a dash of pepper to it, tasting accordingly.

"You're not very good at relaxing, are you?" asked Lourdes in amusement, sipping her tea and looking the picture of leisure that she almost never got to be. She was always cooking, always cleaning, and always working to keep Gloria's family afloat and surviving, if not thriving.

"Not really," Red admitted, "it makes me anxious and irritable. I'm better when I'm useful." She lowered the temperature on the stovetop, to simmer. "Not that I haven't enjoyed not working since I got out, I stay busy with my grandchildren, so I'm never bored. I just need the income so that I can afford a place for Nicky and Gloria once they're out. I want to make sure it's waiting for them."

"I can't wait for the day Gloria's out," Lourdes sighed, gripping her teacup. "I'm worn out. Maybe once she is out and supporting the boys, I'll be able to cut back on working so much. I never expected this to be my life. I raised Gloria, I didn't know I'd be raising her children for her as well."

"Did you have any children?" Red asked curiously, "besides Gloria, of course."

"No, she was it," Lourdes smiled, "my sister died when Gloria was very young, and so I had to take her in. I sort of missed out on my own chance to marry and have kids of my own, but that's okay, Gloria was enough."

"You deserve time for yourself," Red said softly, "it must be so difficult bearing all this alone. I wish I could help you with them, but I imagine the boys are somewhere plotting my death right about now."

"They'll adjust," said Lourdes with a shrug, "the only person they have a valid reason to be angry with is their mother, but they like to punish everyone else as well. Don't put yourself through that. Just leave them to her, you have your own family to concern yourself with."

"Well, I think we can eat," said Red slowly, giving the soup a final stir. But at the same time she spoke, the landline in the apartment began ringing.

"Excuse me," said Lourdes, standing up, "I wasn't expecting anyone to call. Maybe it's Gloria. Wouldn't she be happy to learn that you're here with me?" She walked into the living room to answer it.

In her absence, Red found the bowls in the cupboard, and was on tiptoe pulling them down, when she heard the front door swing up with such force, that it slammed against the door stopper and shook the house. Red knew who it was before she even turned around to look. Gloria's sons were not supposed to be here right now. They were supposed to be at a birthday party, and not home until late. They had come home early, and Red could feel their eyes on her back, as she mentally braced herself before turning around to greet them, a face of composure and a display of confidence, that she certainly wasn't feeling. "Hi Benny, Hi Julio," Red greeted them calmly, in a tone that did not betray her surprise at them being there, nor her trepidation about facing them now that they knew of her involvement with Gloria.

"What are you doing here?" Benny demanded, dropping his backpack onto the kitchen floor where he stood, and kicking his shoes off with aggressive force. One of his shoes hit the wall.

"Visiting with your aunt," Red told him calmly, "how was your party?" Benny just looked at her as though she were insane, and then stormed into the living room, presumably to confront his aunt about this unwelcome visitor in his home.

"Benny, I am on the phone!" Red could hear Lourdes snap. A moment later Red could hear another door slam, as Benny gave up trying to engage his occupied aunt and had isolated himself in his bedroom.

Choosing to ignore this, and despite inwardly wanting to flee, Red regarded Julio, who was still standing stunned and awkward in the doorway. At least, Julio had managed to take off his shoes and coat without commotion. "Your aunt was teaching me how to cook a soup she says you all really like, chicken tortilla. I've never had it, but it looks really good."

"It's my favourite," Julio told her shyly, "and it's my mom's favourite too."

"Would you like some?" asked Red, "we were just about to eat. I was just waiting for your aunt to finish her phone call."

"Okay," said Julio, dropping his backpack neatly against the wall, out of the way. He pulled out his cellphone, and promptly ignored Red as she ladled a bowl of soup for him.

"You're welcome," Red couldn't refrain from pointedly saying, when Julio did not acknowledge her when she brought him his supper.

"Thank you," muttered Julio, the tips of his ears reddening, as he hunched himself over his bowl and began to shovel the soup into his mouth.

"Sorry about that, Galina," said Lourdes irritably, walking out of the living room, "it was just my neighbour downstairs." She looked down at Benny's carelessly tossed backpack and shoes. "Benny!" she shouted in the direction of his door, "get out here and clean this mess up! _Vamo!_ "

Benny stormed out of his room. Wordlessly, he kicked his shoes onto the mat and tossed his backpack next to his brother's. "Benny, what happened to your hand!" Lourdes gasped, reaching for it so that she could examine the injury closer.

"Don't!" Benny snapped, shoving his aunt's hand roughly away, "it hurts worse if you touch it!"

"How did you get that injury?" Lourdes demanded, crossing her arms across her chest as she glared daggers at the boy. "I thought you were at a birthday party?" Benny just scoffed at the question, and walked back into his bedroom, slamming the door. Lourdes shook her head at Red with wild, angry eyes that seemed to silently communicate, _"do you see what I have to deal with?"_.

"How did your brother get injured," Lourdes demanded of Julio, ripping the cell phone out of his hand, that he had not looked up from once during the confrontation between her and his brother.

"Hey, that's mine!" Julio exclaimed in outrage, dropping his spoon so that it clattered loudly against the table.

"Do you pay the bills for it?" Lourdes asked him sarcastically. Julio crossed his arms and pouted in frustration. "I didn't think so! I gave you that phone so that you can reach me when you're off by yourself, not to stare at like some hypnotized robot. Now tell me what happened to your brother!"

"I don't know!" Julio told her, "I wasn't with him the entire time!"

"You're just covering for him," Lourdes told him in distaste. She glanced over at Red who was awkwardly leaning against the counter, looking down at her folded hands, as she silently waited for the fighting to end. Lourdes cheeks pinkened slightly, so ashamed she was over the boys' behaviour. She had also assured Red that she wouldn't have to see them if she came over, and they had come home early because they had probably been fighting somewhere. Maybe, Lourdes reasoned, it was better for Red to see what she was signing up for. These were the sons that Gloria had raised, this was what Red was going to be up against.

Red looked up and met Lourdes' eyes with an unreadable expression. "Why don't we both sit down and eat, Lourdes," Red said calmly, "then I'll get going." She was trying not to show just how taken aback she was by what had just happened. Gloria had always told her how angry Benny could be, but it had still shocked her a bit to see just how disrespectful Benny could behave towards his aunt and the apartment she worked her ass off to keep him in. Red understood his anger towards her, but the wounded hand demonstrated that this was not an anger for any particular reason. It was something that was eating away at the boy, and Lourdes was clearly at her wits end on how to deal with it. As awkward as Red felt for being witness to the dysfunction, she felt sadder more than anything else. For the first time, Red felt that she could truly understand Gloria's agony over the helplessness of her situation.

"They weren't supposed to be back yet," Lourdes said apologetically to Red, as she accepted the bowl of soup that Red passed her. Lourdes sat down at the table, next to Julio, and a moment later, Red joined them. Red felt very uncomfortable, but she didn't feel ready to leave yet because she didn't want the boys to think they could scare her off with such abrasive behaviour. She had to at least finish supper first.

"Well, I'm glad to be able to see them both again," Red lied believably, glancing at Julio who refused to acknowledge her, staring deeply into his bowl of soup now that his phone had been confiscated. "I'm only sorry that Benny is so upset, but I understand. I never intended to surprise you both like this." Julio continued to stare into his bowl and said nothing. Clearing her throat, and attempting to keep her composure, Red looked back towards Lourdes, "so how was the neighbour you were speaking to?"

Lourdes swallowed a spoonful of soup before responding. "She's an elderly woman who lives alone and she's sick, so she was calling to see if one of the boys would take her trash cans down to the street for her."

"I can do it," said Julio agreeably, looking over at his aunt. He seemed relieved to have an excuse to escape the apartment for a few minutes.

"I already told her you would," Lourdes told him stiffly, "you can go after you've finished eating. Bring Mrs. Carter a bowl of soup for her supper as well."

"It's really good tonight," Julio said to his aunt, trying to ease the tension currently between them. He smiled serenely, "it tastes a little differently than how you usually do it. I think I like this way more."

"That's because Galina made it this time," Lourdes told him smoothly.

"Oh," said Julio awkwardly, laying down his spoon momentarily, as though unsure whether or not he should continue eating it. Red and Lourdes ignored his silent dilemma, but Red's pounding heart eased slightly, when Julio picked up his spoon and recommenced eating. Red couldn't wait to get out of there, but she wanted to make sure that her eagerness was not obvious. She ate slowly, as though there was nowhere else she would rather be at the moment.

Red was saved by the bell, or rather her cell phone, going off in the purse she had left by the door when she had arrived. The faint sound echoed loudly in the silent apartment. Nobody was talking at the dinner table. Even Lourdes and Red were struggling to keep a conversation afloat after what had just transpired. If it was one of her sons, Red was going to tell Lourdes she had a family emergency she needed to rush home to. That wasn't who it was however.

Red's breath quickened in anxiety as the display for Litchfield's Penitentiary lit up on her screen. Only two people would be calling her from that number, and since she had already spoken with Nicky that morning, Red was positive that it was Gloria. She thumbed the green answer button precariously, thinking about how much she wanted to talk to her, but how hesitant she was to provoke her children by answering. Finally, Red answered the call, unable to resist the chance to hear Gloria's voice that day.

"Hello?" Red said.

"Hi," said Gloria warmly, "Nicky told me about what happened with Dmitri and your kids. I'm really sorry, Red. Are you okay?"

"What?" Red blinked, before it all came flooding back to her. Her current predicament had caused her to temporarily forget about Dmitri's girlfriend, and the maternal figure Klara had become to her sons. "Oh, that. I'm okay," she brushed it off, glancing over at Lourdes and Julio, who were still eating in an uncomfortable silence, "I'll tell you about it some other time."

"Okay…?" Gloria said questioningly, "so what's up then?"

"I'm actually with your Aunt right now," Red told her.

"What?" Gloria laughed, "seriously? I hope she's not talking your ear off with tales of all my countless faults."

"No, she wouldn't," Red smiled into the phone, "we were cooking, and your sons just came home, so now we're eating."

"Wait," Gloria ordered, "let me make sure I have this right. Julio and Benny are there too? I have no words. How is that going?"

"It was a surprise," Red admitted, "wait just one moment, okay?" She lowered her phone. "Julio," she called and the boy reluctantly looked up at her, "your mom is on the phone and would like to talk to you."

"If she wanted to talk to me she would have called my phone," Julio said to Red in disinterest, looking back down at his bowl. "She called you, not me."

"She called here earlier today but you had already left," Red told him, as Julio continued to pick at his soup impassively. "Julio," Red said a little bit more firmly, "she really wants to say hello. Can't you do that?"

Slowly Julio raised his head and nodded. Red handed him her cell phone. "Hi, mom," he sighed heavily, as though the words were exhausting to say. "I'm fine…she just said you wanted to talk to me…. well I didn't know she was going to be here, Tia Lourdes never said anything. I wouldn't have come home otherwise."

Red decided she was done half-listening to Julio's conversation with Gloria. She turned to Lourdes, "I think we should tell Benny that his mother is on the phone," she said.

"He won't talk to her," Lourdes replied, who had begun to clear the dishes from the table. "He rarely wants to, and he especially doesn't want to when he is in a mood like this." She plugged the sink and began filling it with water for the dishes.

Red hesitated, "do you mind if I ask him?" she asked politely, not wanting to overstep her boundaries but also thinking it was important for Benny to at least have the chance to speak with the mother he needed so much.

"If you want to," said Lourdes with a smile, "I'm done arguing with that boy for the day. Go ahead, if you don't mind being yelled at."

"Teenage boys with attitude problems do not intimidate me," Red informed her. Julio had moved into the living room so that he speak to Gloria privately. "Will you pass me a towel?" she asked Lourdes, as she moved to freezer and took out a tray of ice. If she was going to actually attempt to speak with the angry boy, she might as well bring him some relief for his injured hand.

"Be careful that he doesn't throw it right back at you," Lourdes said warningly, as she passed Red a tea towel. "I'm sorry this day turned out the way it did. I really enjoyed it before they came home."

"Well, it was going to happen sooner or later," Red shrugged indifferently, "maybe it's better it happens not in front of Gloria. Then maybe it won't escalate."

"It should happen in front of Gloria," Lourdes told Red strongly, "they're her responsibility, I don't see a reason to sugar coat the truth for her." Lourdes turned off the water tap and began washing the dinner dishes. "This isn't any way for them to treat a guest though, I'm outraged at how rude they have been to you, though I'm honestly not surprised. They get more disrespectful by the day."

Red silently rolled up some ice cubes in the towel for Benny. "I'll be back in a minute," she said quietly, while leaving the room. Red entered the living room, where she found Julio curled up on the soft, and wrapped in a quilt as he spoke quietly to Gloria on the phone. It was obvious that he had really wanted to speak with her, even if he was hurt that she had called Red's phone instead of his. Red walked past him as quietly and nondescript as she could, not wanting to disturb his moment with Gloria. She walked down the hall to Benny's bedroom and knocked firmly on the wood of the door.

"Go away, Lourdes!" Benny called through the closed door.

"It's not Lourdes," Red answered him, resting her hand flat on the door. She was half prepared for him to swing open the door at any moment and yell at her.

"Then get the f**k away!" Benny called back, even more rudely now that he knew it was Red.

"No," Red said shortly, placing her hand around the door knob and tapping it with her red polished finger nails. She knew that it was not locked because Lourdes had told her she had removed all the locks after the boys often refused to open for her. "I'm going to come in, okay?" she waited a moment and then slowly opened the door to his room. It was small and cramped from the two twin beds that were jammed in there, with barely enough walk space between.

"Who the f**k do you think you are?" Benny exclaimed, "you come to somebody else's apartment and just barge into their bedroom. What do you want?" he snapped.

"Your mother is on the phone and walks to talk to you," Red told him quietly, regarding him with clear blue eyes that were clearly unimpressed by his attitude, but not about to engage with him about it either.

"Tell her too bad," Benny snapped. He was lying on his bed propped up by numerous pillows, his phone clutched in his hands.

"Tell her yourself," Red replied. "Tell her about what happened with you today, tell her how angry you are about me, because saying anything would be better than silence."

"It's none of her business," Benny replied, "and it wouldn't change anything, would it? She doesn't care what I think. If she did, you wouldn't be here right now, invading my space. She's not even out of prison yet and you're already taking over our lives!"

"Well, I'm on my way out the door in a few minutes," Red told him, her hand trembling slightly on the door knob, which she had clasped in a death grip to steady herself. "so, you'll be rid of me soon."

"Until next time," Benny said bitterly, staring at his phone so that he wouldn't have to look at her.

Red moistened her lips and swallowed the lump in her throat. "Listen, I'm not going to tell you what's what because you've clearly already made up your mind, and this seems to be a particularly bad day. Something obviously happened tonight that you don't want to get into trouble for. It doesn't take a genius to see that you either punched something or somebody today. So I'm going to take a wild guess and say that a fight broke out at this party and you were made to leave early, or you were somewhere else entirely and the party was just a bullsh!t story you fed to your aunt." Red squeezed the door knob ever tighter, "Either way, you should put this ice on your hand before it swells even more." Red walked over to the bed, and placed the towel of ice down on the small nightstand wedged between the boys' beds. She turned around to leave. "If you change your mind about speaking to your mother, you probably have about five minutes before the call ends.

"I won't," Benny told her grimly. He looked over at the ice Red had brought him, but refused to touch it. Red was sure he would wrap his hand once she was gone, however. Benny just didn't want to give her the satisfaction of seeing him do as she suggested.

Red shrugged sadly, "maybe next time then," she told him, turning to leave. She reached for the door handle and opened it, "have a good night," she told Benny quietly, before walking out and closing his door behind her.

It was time for Red to go home. This evening had ended on an excruciating note, but it was nothing less than what she had expected from them, and it was what she had promised Gloria she would somehow endure, for her. She ran her fingers through her hair as she walked into the living room, where Julio was still lying on the sofa, speaking with Gloria. "She's here," Julio said into the phone, "just a sec, mom." Julio stretched his hand out and motioned for Red to take back her phone, "she wants to talk to you for a sec."

"Thanks," Red told him as she took back her phone. "Hi, Gloria," she said calmly, sitting down on the sofa, but maintaining a distance between Julio and herself.

"I love you so much," Gloria said emotionally, "thank you for not hating me after all that."

"It's fine," Red said reassuringly, "I promise. Don't worry." She leaned back against a throw cushion, and scratched at the exposed skin of her neck, needing to feel something as they spoke. Needing to touch skin and to soothe, even if it was not Gloria she was consoling, but only herself.

"Sort of hard not to," Gloria admitted, "but it just makes me realize even more how much I love you and how grateful I am to have you."

"I'm the same," Red told her, not daring to say more when Julio was listening.

"I'm not really regretting telling them," Gloria said, who sounded on the brink of tears to Red, "because it needed to be done. This just really f**king sucks."

"It won't always," Red told her, moving her hand to the back of her neck where she began to squeeze her tense muscles. "it will get better. I'm glad it happened now. I spoke to my sons, and it's okay now."

"I know we can't really talk right now," Gloria sighed, "I'm going to call you as soon as I can tomorrow. So, your phone better not leave your f**king hand, alright? I need to hear everything."

"Okay," Red said simply, "have a good night, Gloria."

"I love you," sniffled Gloria.

"I know," answered Red, glancing carefully at Julio, who had not moved away from her, but was sitting cross-legged on the couch as he ran his fingers over the patterns of the quilt that was draped across his lap. "I'll just let Julio come back and say goodbye, alright?"

"Yes," Gloria agreed.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow," Red promised her. She handed her phone back to Julio who took it without looking at her.

"Hey, mom," Julio said, "have a good night okay?...yeah, I love you too," he mumbled the last part very quietly, as though embarrassed for Red to hear him say the words. "Bye." He hung up the phone and handed it back to Red. Julio played awkwardly with the material on the quilt, "thanks for letting me talk to her," he said quietly to Red, before shoving the blanket aside and walking towards the front door to put his shoes on.

"Where are you going?" Lourdes called to him.

"To take Mrs. Carter's garbage out," Julio replied, pulling on his jacket.

"Don't forget the soup," Lourdes told him, walking to the door and handing him a container of it. "Make sure you come straight home, afterwards," she told him, "no fooling around and getting into trouble somewhere."

"I'm going to leave too, Lourdes," Red said, walking up behind the older woman and placing a hand upon her shoulder. "Thank you for everything though, I really mean it."

"You should want to hit me, after this evening," Lourdes scoffed, "not thank me," but she patted Red's hand on her shoulder affectionately. Red felt like an ally to her, someone who had her own struggles to contend with when it came to Gloria's sons. Therefore, she was someone who could understand what Lourdes was dealing with. Lourdes was glad she had made Red her friend.

"There was a lot of good too," Red insisted. Then she turned to Julio. "I was glad to see you again," she told him, her blue eyes sparkling with sincerity. She meant it. It was impossible for her to feel resentment towards the understandable anger and disgruntlement that Gloria's two sons were feeling. They had a lot to be upset about. In time, they would learn that Red would not be easily intimidated or allow them to push her around. Once they realized that there was nothing they could do that would make her leave, perhaps then they would accept her in their lives.

"Okay," Julio said awkwardly, "thanks."

"I'll walk down with you," Red told him, in a clipped tone that left no room for argument. "We're going the same way, anyways." She turned back to Lourdes, "Call me tomorrow? Once you get to work?"

"I'll call as soon as I get news," Lourdes promised her. "Have a good night, Galina."

Red walked down the outside stairwell with Julio in silence. She didn't plan to really say anything to him. It was enough that he had not run ahead, and was actually staying with her.

"What were you and Tia Lourdes saying just now?" Julio broke the silence.

"Hmm?" Red murmured, surprised he had spoken, "oh, I'm trying to find work and she said they're might be something where she is."

"Oh," said Julio, "that's a hard place to work. She's always tired when she comes home. I wouldn't want to work there."

"What do you want to do?" asked Red, "once you finish school?"

"I don't know yet," Julio told her, "but I know I want to go to college."

"That's wonderful," Red told him, "I told my sons to go to college but they didn't listen to me." She held on tightly to the railing, so that she wouldn't slip on the icy steps. Even though Julio wasn't hers, Red couldn't ignore the swell of pride she felt for him when he shared his ambitions. She really wanted good things for these kids, even more than she wanted them to like her.

Red wanted to be in their lives, she was surprised to realize. These were the ages she had missed with her own sons. She had been imprisoned, while Dmitri and Klara, she now knew, had been raising her teenagers in her absence. Red looked at Gloria's two sons, and all she could see was pain and fear disguised as anger. She wondered if Yuri, Maxim, and Vasily had ever been this angry, they must have been, although Dmitri had doubtlessly coached them to hide it from her at visits, just as he had coached them to hide everything else he didn't want her to know about. Red's heart hurt as she thought of her three children. In a way, if she could help heal the hurt in Julio and Benny, it would compensate for the way she had let her own sons down. In spite of the awkwardness and the hostility of her evening, it had instilled in Red a desire to somehow find a way to get through to these boys, no matter how long it took. Even if they hated her, Red knew that she could never hate them back. They were Gloria's, and now, in a way, they had become hers.

Lourdes could not convince Red that these boys were not her concern, because anything that concerned Gloria mattered most definitely to Red. It wasn't all about Gloria, though; it also was about Red, and her compulsion to mother and heal the children she could tell needed it. It wasn't the purest of motivations, it had more to do with Red's own need to give and to nurture then it did with the receiver. It was this compulsion that had driven Red to create a family, and mother her prison daughters. It was what had driven her to mother Nicky, which had led to her loving Nicky in a most wholesome and natural way. Good could be born out of ulterior motives with good intentions. If Red could learn to care for Julio and Benny, as she cared for Nicky, then maybe she would learn to love them the same way.


	14. Chapter 14

"Duke, next year we're installing an air conditioner," Red said to the medium size golden retriever she had on a leash, as she stood on the front steps of her apartment, rummaging for her keys, under the porch light. She had gotten home from work at a reasonable time, by some miracle, and had immediately taken her dog for a walk around the block. Summer had come and Red had now been out of prison for long enough that freedom had begun to feel normal. "It's not for us," Red spoke aloud to the dog, who wagged his tail as he listened to her, "it's for Gloria. She'll be released in the summertime, and the last thing I want to have to do is listen to her bitch about how hot it is." Red didn't think it odd at all that she spoke to her dog like a person. Her golden friend made her feel safe and had become her constant companion since she had moved into her own rental. She only left him when she went to work, or to the prison, otherwise Duke went everywhere with her. She thought she had wanted to a cat when she had gone to the shelter to find herself a furry friend. But when she had laid eyes on the beautiful dog that had been surrendered to the shelter after his previous owner had died, Red knew that it was meant to be. It turns out she was more of a dog person than she had thought.

Moving out on her own had been a necessary step that Red had anticipated with both eagerness and dread. Even though her new place was less than a ten-minute walk from Vasily's house, it had been an emotional move that felt much more significant than it actually was. The hardest adjustment had been getting used to being alone. She had thought she would tolerate the solitude better than she had on that night she had camped out at a motel, after she discovered the news about Dmitri's girlfriend, but truthfully, she hadn't. Red had lain awake for two sleepless nights, jumping at every small creak and worrying about burglars. It was ridiculous, she knew, but Red simply was not used to being alone after living in an overcrowded prison for so many years. Even though she craved the solitude and relished in the privacy she now had, her anxiety was consuming her. It almost made her regret moving, regret not listening to Yuri's advice to wait until Nicky was out and could go with her, but Red knew it would be ridiculous to limit herself that way. She wanted her independence from her sons, even if it scared her to do so, and she was determined to live alone successfully, until Nicky came home. Less than a week after she moved in, Red had adopted Duke, and the difference in her had been immediate. Duke, slept beside her at night, followed her from room to room, and laid beside her on the couch when she read or watched tv in the living room. He might shed a little more than she would like, but the extra cleaning was worth it to have him there. Duke took away her fear.

"You never let us get a dog," Vasily had complained to his mother good-naturedly, squatting down to ruffle Duke' ears the first time he had met him. Red had walked him over to the park, where the family was meeting to watch Alexei's soccer game. Another benefit to being on her own, meant that she enjoyed her family even more than she had before. She no longer worried about imposing on Lida, or being too dependent on her sons, and this enabled Red to truly cherish the time she spent with them. Red hadn't encountered Klara since their impromptu meeting on Maxim's porch. Her family was careful not to mention her around Red, although she knew that her youngest sons, in particular, still spent a significant amount of time with their stepmother. It still hurt, but Red knew that it was a reality that she needed to live with.

"They've never called her Grandma," Lida had told Red out of the blue, one afternoon when they were together at the park, pushing Alexei and Vera on the swings.

"What?" Red had asked in confusion, her eyes on her grandson who was laughing hysterically and promptly high-fived her each time he swung forward.

"Klara," Lida had clarified, "she has her place, and they have a relationship, but that doesn't make her the grandmother. You're their Babushka! I just wanted you to know that."

Red had gotten the job cooking at the restaurant with Lourdes, and she worked long hours every day. Sundays were the only official day off, but she always booked an afternoon off on either Friday or Saturday, so that she could drive up to the prison to visit Nicky and Gloria. Even though her sons had laughed about it, they had each taken her out in turn to teach their mother to drive, and Red had gotten her license the previous month. She borrowed a car from her sons when she made the trek to the prison every week, but otherwise she preferred to travel on foot or take the bus. Red's life was busy, exhausting, and fulfilling. She was consumed with the intent and purpose of creating a good life for Nicky and Gloria to come home to. Being released first, had instilled in Red a great sense of responsibility. She didn't want to waste this time that she had been given, she wanted to make it count for something. She did that by working, saving money, and reconnecting with the family that meant the world to her, while preparing for the family that was coming.

The apartment she rented was a walk up that consisted of two bedrooms, a washroom, and an open concept living room and kitchen. The walls were stark white, and the floors a honey oak wood. It had a balcony, and to Red it was paradise. It would be cramped when Nicky and Gloria were both living there, and near impossible to make work if Julio and Benny ended up moving in with them, although that was seeming like less and less of a remote possibility. Red hadn't seen or heard from them in months, and neither had her sons. They had frozen them out too, although they once had been very close. Red received updates from Gloria and Lourdes, so she knew that the boys rarely visited their mother anymore, since they refused to go with Red or her kids, and Lourdes was not able to drive them very often. Benny had quit basketball, as Lourdes had predicted, and it was anyone's guess as to what he got up to during his free time. Everyone was worried, but everyone was also helpless to interfere. It was sad. Red wanted things to be good for Gloria, when she finally came home, but nothing could ever be good when your children were suffering and hated the person you were with. Red didn't hold much hope that things would be better once Gloria was there to intervene, she worried that their resentment of their mother might only amplify the already toxic situation. Time would tell.

Red unlocked the door of her home and flicked the light on to display the simple and cozy dwelling space. She had needed to purchase new furniture, as everything that had been in her and Dmitri's shared apartment had been kept by Klara, but her children had made sure to save all of Red's personal effects for her. They had saved her books and photo albums, and Red had decorated the walls with framed images of her favourites. Still, much of the apartment remained undone, which was exactly as Red intended. Some frames on the wall hung empty, half the shelves on the bookcase were clear, and the closet and drawers in Red's bedroom were only half full. The apartment was waiting for Gloria and Nicky to complete it.

Bone tired, Red walked towards the stove with the intent of putting the kettle on for a cup of tea before she submitted to sleep. Her hands were pressed against her lower back, which still troubled her as much as it ever did. Lida kept trying to convince her mother-in-law to visit a massage therapist and chiropractor, convinced they could make a difference, but Red was not about to allow people to feel her up in such a fashion. She'd survived this long without, and the firm mattress she had purchased to sleep on made a tremendous difference. While she waited for her water to boil, Red went to change into her pajamas and take her makeup off. She didn't have the energy to do much else. It was enough to fix herself a cup of tea, flick on the television, and lay on the couch with her dog.

Dozing, Red was startled awake by the sound of her telephone ringing. It wasn't nearly eleven, by that point, but it was not uncommon for Lida or Vasily to call her to chat once the kids had been put to bed for the night. They always said they missed her, and they always called if they hadn't seen her on that particular day. Red was so grateful to have them, and so appreciative of how they had helped her and gone out of their ways to constantly reassure her that she was wanted. Red preferred to live under her own roof, and not under theirs, but that was completely because of her stubborn pride. The truth was that she had loved living with them, and loved seeing her grandchildren first thing in the morning. Fortunately, she still spent a lot of time with them, and had even had the kids overnight a couple of times when Vasily and Lida had gone out. It felt good to be trusted, and it relieved Red that they always asked her, and not Klara, to babysit first.

Red answered the phone without looking to see who it was. "Hello?"

There was an awkward scuffle on the phone before he spoke, "Hi, Galina? Ms. Reznikov? It's Julio Mendoza."

Red was instantly wide awake. She hadn't heard Gloria's son's voice since that excruciating dinner they had shared at Lourdes' apartment. Red hadn't wanted to engage with them, and had only spoken to them through Lourdes, when she had extended an open invitation for them to accompany her to visit Gloria at the prison anytime. They had never accepted it. "Julio," Red stated, "I'm very surprised to hear from you. Are you alright?"

"Yes," said Julio, "my aunt gave me your phone number. I hope that's okay, I know it's sort of late."

"It's okay," Red told him, "you can call anytime. Can I help you with something?" She stood up off of the couch, and slid open the sliding door that led to her veranda. She liked to stand out there at night and look out at the lights of New York. The city always seemed endless, and night was Red's favourite time to appreciate it.

"Well, actually," Julio hesitated, "I was wondering if you were going to visit mom tomorrow? And if you really meant it when you said I could go with you sometime?" Red had invited them to join her anytime, back when there was still snow on the ground. They had ignored her offer. Red was curious why Julio was suddenly so willing to accept her invitation. Maybe he just missed his mom.

"I am going," Red leaned her elbows against the rails, "Of course, you can come. I can pick you up around ten."

"Thank you," said Julio, "I just sort of feel like seeing her, you know?". He sounded almost apologetic, as though it was unacceptable to feeling so sentimental about his mother. It was probably because of his age. Teenage boys never liked to admit they needed their mothers, especially when that mother was serving time in prison.

"You're going to make her very happy," Red told him, a smile playing over her lips as she gazed out at the city lights. She was a bit nervous to face him alone, but she could hardly wait to see the look on Gloria's face when she walked into visitation with her son tomorrow. Gloria had been depressed about their attitudes for months. Benny even refused to speak to her on the phone most days. He had become increasingly more bitter, as the reality of Red and Gloria had sunk it. "Are you having a good summer?" Red asked him.

"It's okay," said Julio indifferently, "pretty boring, actually."

"I guess," said Red, thinking that one thing her sons could never say that they had been, was bored. Julio did not elaborate, and Red was not sure what else to ask him or to say to him. "Well…" Red said slowly, "I'll be there in the morning to pick you up."

"Thank you," said Julio.

"I'm very glad you called," Red told him sincerely, "Have a good night."

"Thanks," said Julio politely, "same to you."

Red hung up the phone and looked down at the dog that was sitting by her feet. "Tomorrow is going to be interesting," Red told Duke, patting his head. They walked back inside, where Red flicked the lights and television off. She double checked to ensure that both doors were locked, and then she crawled into the Queen size bed with Duke. The dog was stretched out on beside her where Red hoped Gloria would one day lie. It probably was a mistake for her to let him get used to that. Red was exhausted, and she needed her energy if she was going to be in top form to endure the hour-long drive, to and from Litchfield, with Gloria's son tomorrow. The thought of it made her very nervous, but she was so glad that he had asked.

Red didn't know what to expect when she pulled up to the curb beside their apartment the next morning, wondering whether Julio would run out, or if she would actually have to walk up to get him. She was driving Vasily's car, and he had protectively offered to come along that morning, when she arrived to get the car and had told him who she was picking up. As much as Red tried to keep the goings on of her private life away from her children; Yuri, Maxim, and Vasily knew all about her problems with Gloria's children. They, too, had experienced the open hostility that Benny had been showing towards their mother, because he had lashed out at them as well. Julio was never so cruel, but he made no secret of his resentment and discomfort over Red seeing his mother, and also had made it crystal clear that he no longer wanted any association with the Reznikov family. It disappointed Red's sons, even though they did sympathize with what Benny and Julio were going through. So much of their lives had been beyond their control, and they had never received the security of being the top priority. Neither boy was capable of seeing Red as anything more than a barrier between them and their mother. They were hurting.

Red was relieved when she saw Julio making his way towards her. She really had not wanted to have to go up to the apartment to get him, and risk potentially having a confrontation with Benny. She unlocked the doors and Julio gawkily slid into the passenger seat beside her. "Hi," he said, slamming the door shut behind him.

"Hi," Red said back, watching to make sure his seatbelt was fastened before she pulled away from the curb. She turned on the radio to help make the silence between them not so unbearable. Julio spent the drive looking out the window.

"What sort of music is that?" Julio asked after a minute, giving Red the side-eye and chuckling lightly.

"I don't know," Red shrugged, "it's the radio station that Vasily had on. Change it if you don't like it."

"I'm good," he replied, pulling out his iPod and putting on his headphones, "I brought my own music."

"Good thinking," Red murmured, as Julio turned towards the window so that he wouldn't have to speak with her. He stayed like that for the rest of the drive, which was alright with Red. She had no more desire to sit through an hour of forced conversation than he did. It was better this way. Julio was only using her for a ride, but that was alright with Red. She wasn't going to pretend it was any more than that.

"We're here," Red said unnecessarily, when she pulled the car into a parking space and shut it off. She opened the glove compartment box and placed her cell phone inside it. "You can leave your electronics in there too," she told him. They wouldn't be permitted inside the prison.

"All good?" Red asked him, after he had pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and placed it, and his iPod, next to Red's.

Julio nodded, and unclipped his seatbelt. They both got out of the car and began walking towards the front doors of the prison. "I just wanted to tell you," Red said slowly as they walked side by side, "that I'll sit with Nicky and visit, so that you can talk alone with your mom. I know that you haven't seen her in a long time."

Julio looked over at Red in surprise, "but don't you want to visit her too?" he asked, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans as they walked.

"Of course, I do," Red responded calmly, "but it's okay. I know that it was a mistake before to think that you and Benny wouldn't mind if we all visited together."

"Well it makes sense now," Julio said, reaching the doors to the prison first and holding it open for Red to go in ahead, "at the time it was…confusing."

"I guess so," Red replied. They reached the front desk and were processed through by a young guard that Red had never seen before. She was used to the drill by now, and no longer felt like all the eyes were upon her as she went through the process that would lead her to Nicky and Gloria. Julio and Red were waved through the metal detectors and finally allowed to enter into the visiting room, where Nicky and Gloria would soon join them.

"We can sit together," Julio said to Red, pulling out a chair. He sat down in it, and glanced up at her for a brief moment, before turning away.

"Really?" asked Red in surprise and he nodded. Red gave him a big smile that expressed so much that she could not put into words. She had been sincere in being willing to sacrifice her visit with Gloria for him. It was not something she would do all the time, of course, but Red had wanted Julio to know that she was not trying to divide them, but deeply wanted to help bring them together. Maybe Julio had sensed that, and that was why he was willing to tolerate her presence. Red sat down in the seat next to him, and they waited silently for Nicky and Gloria to appear.

"What's this!" Gloria exclaimed with eyes wide in astonishment, that darted back between Red and Julio, as she entered the visitation room and hurried towards them. Julio had phoned Red so late, that there had been no possibility of Gloria learning that he was coming ahead of time. Red probably wouldn't have told her anyways. She liked the look Gloria got on her face when she was surprised.

"Hey, mom," said Julio awkwardly, as Gloria pulled him into a hug and squeezed him tightly. "Ah, Mom, get off," Julio muttered good-naturedly, "I can't breathe."

Gloria sniffled and pulled back, keeping her arms wrapped around his neck. "I'm just so happy to see you, baby. I've missed you." Gloria moved her hands from Julio's neck and ran her fingers through his hair, she was pleasantly surprised when he did not pull away. "I'm so glad you're here," she told him passionately.

"So, how much did you pay him to come?" Nicky whispered into Red's ear as the two embraced. Nicky had grown accustomed to being without Red, and she was doing okay. It was no longer incredibly emotional for them to see one another, there were almost never any tears anymore, just happiness. Red still hated to leave her there, but she knew that Nicky was thriving under Gloria's care. Nicky seemed more grown up than she ever did when Red had been taking care of her, and she had really come into her own during her mother's absence.

"I didn't pay him anything," Red whispered back, "he wanted to come." Red brushed Nicky's hair back and kissed her on both cheeks. "How are you?" Red kissed Nicky's forehead before releasing her, "are you behaving?"

"I always behave," Nicky told her hotly, glancing over at Gloria, who had released her son and was now eyeing Red with hungry eyes. "Isn't that right, Gloria?"

"What?" Gloria jumped as she spoke, snapping back to reality, "what did you say?" She gripped the top of the plastic chair tightly, turning to look over at Nicky.

"Never mind," Nicky laughed and rolled her eyes. They all sat down.

Red glanced over at Gloria who was staring at her with her chin resting in her hand. Gloria and Red had not embraced upon arrival, and now Gloria was irritated by it. She knew Red had purposely kept her distance because she was nervous about making Julio uncomfortable, but Gloria was craving her. It drove Gloria crazy to see Red sitting there, beautiful in a pain of black capris and a royal blue blouse that looked so good on her, and not be able to touch her. She discreetly stretched her leg beneath the table, difficult to do inconspicuously on an angle, and rested it on top of Red's foot. She tapped Red's foot a couple of times, before reluctantly moving her leg back. She didn't want to get in trouble from a guard.

Gloria turned her attention to Julio, who was slouched down in his seat looking wary of his decision to come. "So, how are you, baby?" Gloria asked him.

"Fine," Julio said awkwardly.

"Summer holidays going alright?" asked Gloria, trying desperately to find some ground to start with. Nobody had dragged Julio here, he had come of his own accord, and had probably really wanted to see her since he had been willing to drive with Red to come. So why wasn't he talking? Was he just that uncomfortable to be in such close proximity with Red and Nicky? Red and Nicky were chatting quietly with one another, attempting to give the mother and son some semblance of privacy.

"It's boring," said Julio, "nobody's around and it's too hot." He stared at his hands and bumped them rhythmically against the table.

"Tia Lourdes said you were working," said Gloria, "at an ice cream parlour." She had straightened her body so that it was angled right towards him, her right arm holding her head up, but also serving as something of a division wall between them, and Red and Nicky. She wanted Julio to know that he had her full attention.

"That's basically all I've been doing," Julio admitted, "but I'm off now for a week, though." He rapped his knuckles on the table, and glanced around the room, paying particular attention to Red and Nicky who seemed so in-tune with one another and just happy to be together. It might not seem like it, but Julio really wanted the same for his mom and himself. It was why he was here and it was why he took his mother's phone calls, even when he didn't think that she deserved it.

"So, Yuri's kids?" Nicky was saying to Red,"you think that will be alright tomorrow?"

"I think it will be strange," Red said, "Anna hasn't let him have them for a full week before. He picked them up yesterday afternoon and headed straight for the lake. We're all going up tomorrow, so that will give Yuri a few days to get them settled." Her nails dug into Nicky's hand, "I'm eager to finally meet them, but they're older. It's going to be much different that it was with Alexei and Vera."

"Ah, you'll be fine," said Nicky, "if they get cheeky, just remind them that you've been in the big house and that will scare them straight. You'll be fine."

"That wasn't what I was worried about," Red told her cynically, with a shake of her head, "I just want the kids to have a good time, and I want to get to know them. If it goes well, maybe Yuri will be able to get them more often."

"Sparkle tits still with that new guy?" asked Nicky.

"Yes," said Red, looking at Nicky closely, "you're losing. No new puppy for you."

"Hey, I've still got time," Nicky protested, "Yuri and her have broken up so many times, I've lost track, and they always get back together. I'm not getting worried yet. Besides, why are you so against me getting a dog anyways?"

"We've got a dog," Red said, "and the apartment is too small for another one."

"A small dog this time," Nicky persisted. Red rolled her eyes.

"So, what are you going to do if Sparkle Tits shows up at the lake this week?" Nicky grinned, referring to Yuri's soon to be ex-wife, Anna.

"That's not going to happen," Red told her grumpily, running her finger around her lips. She turned to focus on Gloria and Julio. They looked strained, as though they were trying to connect, but could find no common ground.

"You sure?" asked Nicky, "I don't know. Moms get weird about leaving their kids with somebody else, at least that's what I've been told. I bet she'll want to check up on them."

"Why do you want her and Yuri back together so badly?" asked Red, looking away from Gloria and Julio.

"For my amusement," Nicky shrugged, "and because it will be fun to go look at dogs with you." Red scoffed, but Nicky just smiled sweetly at her and stood up and walked over to the activities table. "Just think how nice it would be for us to walk our two dogs together," she said casually, as she picked up a deck of playing cards and walked back to her chair. "Duke could probably use a friend, maybe you should let me get one even if you are right that Yuri and Sparkle Tits are over for good." Without skipping a beat, Nicky began dealing the cards out between the four of them.

"What's this?" Gloria looked over at Nicky, raising her eyebrows, as she ran her index finger over the back of a card that Nicky had tossed at her.

"Slap Jacks," Nicky told her immediately, "we all take turns putting down a card, and whenever there is a jack or a matching set, you slam your hand down, whoever is the slowest, has to pick up the entire discarded deck."

"I know how to play," Gloria told her, smiling slightly as she looked over at Red. Nicky had a talent for bringing people together and putting them at ease. Nicky couldn't help but notice that Julio was barely speaking to his mother, and that the four of them had been divided into two distinct pairings. "Julio?"

"Sure," mumbled Julio agreeably, picking up the cards that Nicky had dealt him, "why not?".

"Alright, first things first," Nicky said squinting her eyes at Red, "lose the rings, Mom."

"Why?" asked Red, stroking the small, but beautiful diamond that had once belonged to her mother. Red didn't wear rings very often, working in a kitchen and all, but she always made a point to put her jewellery on when she came to visit Gloria.

"So, you don't slice one of our hands with it," Nicky told her, "no injuries allowed." Red begrudgingly removed the ring and slid it into her pocket for safekeeping. "Alright, Gloria you put a card down first," said Nicky, "since you're next to me and I dealt."

It was exactly what they all needed, especially Julio. No longer struggling to come up with topics to discuss, the four of them focused on the game, and even laughed a little bit together. The physical contact required was beneficial too. How strange it had felt, the first time Julio had slapped his hand on top of Red's, and then, realizing he was touching her, had shyly pulled away. Even though it was a struggle, Julio knew that there was nothing he could legitimately criticize Red for that day. She had driven him there, been kind, offered to keep her distance if he wanted her to, and it was obvious that Gloria was happy to see her. Nicky was entertaining, teasing, cajoling, and being way too competitive about such a silly game; but she had them all laughing out loud. She was the comic relief that was needed during such an intense visitation, and Julio had to admit to himself that he was having fun. It was the first time he could recall really enjoying a visit with his mother, that was not strained or uncomfortable. Everyone was relaxing, thanks to Nicky, and time passed much too quickly.

"Already?" Julio exclaimed, when the guards announced that it was time to say goodbye.

"Come here and just let me hold you," Gloria told him, standing up and holding out her arms, which Julio immediately went into, no holding back. "Thank you for coming," Gloria said into his ear, stroking his hair. "I hope you find something fun to do on your time off from work." She kissed his hair, "tell your brother that I love him, okay?"

Julio nodded, "maybe I can come visit again soon," he said hesitantly, glancing over at Red who was saying goodbye to Nicky, "if she'll drive me again."

"Of course, she will," Gloria said, speaking for Red, "that's not even a question."

"Well…. good," said Julio, "maybe I'll come next week then, if I'm not doing anything. This was sort of fun."

"When I get out of here," Gloria told him, "I promise we'll have lots of fun." She released him and looked over at Red and Nicky, who were watching them intently, still with their arms around one another.

"This was way more fun than last time we visited and I could barely lift my head off the table," Nicky joked to Julio, walking over to him with the intention of stealing his attention long enough to give Red and Gloria a moment to say a proper goodbye.

"Yeah, you were really sick," Julio replied, turning to face Nicky, "my mom said you had appendicitis. Did that hurt a lot?"

"Yep," Nicky said cheerfully, and launched into a detailed description of her pain and suffering. Red skidded around them to approach Gloria.

"I'm amazed," Gloria said emotionally to Red, as the two women hugged, their cheeks pressed against one another. "I don't know how you got him here, but today was so wonderful. You're wonderful." She pulled Red back so that she could look her in the eyes, hands holding tightly to Red's arms.

"Gloria, your son called me himself and asked to come," Red told her, gripping Gloria's chin in her fingers, a mischievous twinkle in her eye, "he wanted to see you. I did nothing to try and convince him."

"Really?" Gloria whispered, squeezing Red's elbows, and Red nodded. Their eyes were glued upon one another, and it than moment nobody else existed.

"Will you call me tonight?" Red whispered, her fingers still encasing Gloria's chin, while her other hand slowly tiptoed up Gloria's arm until it rested upon her shoulder, "we didn't get to talk very much."

"I call you every night," Gloria reminded her with a teasing smile, "you don't have to ask." Gloria rubbed Red's arms, back and forth, and then wrapped them loosely around Red's waist, pulling her in closer.

"I just like hearing you say it," Red admitted with a smile. She quickly stole a glance at Nicky, who had Julio's back turned to them. "I love you, Gloria," she whispered, gripping Gloria's chin ever tighter as she brushed her lips across Gloria's mouth. She moved away quickly, not wanting Julio to see, to feel embarrassed, or uncomfortable. Today had been a good day for him, a step in the right direction for all of them. Red did not want to risk diminishing that progress over a kiss.

"I love you, too," Gloria whispered, squeezing Red's hand briefly, before letting her go.

"So, then I was on this cocktail of painkillers for a few weeks," Nicky was saying brightly, to Julio, who's eyes were looking a little glazed, "and I didn't get to go to work either…."

"Well, I guess it's time to go," Red broke in, giving Nicky a grateful smile. Julio wasn't stupid, he knew what his mother and Red had just done, but Nicky had given him a way to pretend like he hadn't noticed. Julio had purposely turned away so that he wouldn't have to see.

"Fine, fine," said Nicky reluctantly, "have a good time tomorrow. And don't forget that I'm keeping a running tab of everything you do with the boys, because when I get out you need to do it all again with me, just to be fair. Otherwise, I'll thinking you like them more than me."

"You don't need to worry about that," Red kissed Nicky's cheek once more, "I promise we'll do whatever you want when you get out."

"Including getting another dog?" asked Nicky.

"Let's see if you win the bet first," Red told her wryly. It was time to go. The visit had been pleasant for all of them, and that made it somehow easier to walk away. There didn't seem to be too much hanging in the air left unsaid, as was usually the case when Gloria's sons visited, refused to speak, and left madder than they had arrived. This had been a good day, thanks particularly to Nicky. She had shown Julio that Red and her being there could be fun, that they could be people he actually could enjoy spending time with. Julio had seen how happy Red made his mother, and that made Gloria more fun to be around as well.

"So where was Nicky saying you were going tomorrow?" Julio asked Red conversationally, as they began driving away, the prison in the rear-view mirror.

"I'm going to the lake with my kids," Red answered, "we've rented a cottage there for the week. I'm only staying until Tuesday, I go back to work on Wednesday, but the others are going to stay longer."

"That sounds fun," Julio said, looking at her.

"I think it will be," said Red, "Yuri is bringing his two kids for the week, and I haven't met them yet." Feliks and Ivanna were both now ten and eight now, respectively. Yuri drove up to spend a couple days with them, every other week or so, but this would be the first time Anna was allowing him to take them for an entire week. Yuri was excited.

"I remember them," Julio said, looking out the dash, "I went to Ivanna's birthday party a couple of years ago. She was still pretty little then though."

"That's right, I remember hearing about that," said Red, glancing sideways at him, "you all went to an amusement park together, if I recall correctly."

"Yeah," said Julio, "Benny, Vasily, and I kept going on the rollercoasters," he laughed, "and Lida kept telling Vasily to stop because he wasn't young anymore and was going to get sick."

"And did he?" asked Red, raising her eyebrows in amusement.

"Yeah," laughed Julio, thinking back fondly at the memory of that wonderful day, "he puked in a trash can and made me and Benny swear not to tell Lida that she was right."

"Silly boy," Red said affectionately, smiling warmly as she thought of her youngest son, "he always goes too far, but he can be lots of fun." Red pursed her lips and glanced over at Julio, considering him. "I hope you and Benny will have fun like that with my sons again someday," she said, once she had gathered up the nerve, "I know they miss you."

"It's weird now," Julio said shortly.

"I know," Red said quietly. Silence fell between them, but Red did not feel compelled to try and fill it. She knew Julio was thinking about what she had said. She hoped it might have an impact. Benny and Julio had been rejecting any attempts Red's sons had made at contacting them, ever since Gloria had told them about their relationship. The boys felt betrayed, even though Yuri, Maxim, and Vasily had known just as much about their mothers' involvement, as they did. Julio and Benny did not seem to believe that. Overnight, they had pushed away the young men that had become something of older brother/father figure mentors. It was sad.

"You must be hungry," Red said, after awhile of driving. They were about halfway back to the city, and Red pulled in to a truck stop alongside the highway.

"I can wait until I get home," Julio said to Red lamely.

"Well, I can't," Red said matter-of-factly, "and you haven't eaten in awhile, so I'm sure you wouldn't mind something. Come inside and show me what you want." It was a suggestion, not an order, but Julio still felt forced as he got out of the car and followed Red into the small eatery. This was more personal that just using her as his ride, when he had no other option, and Julio was sure he didn't want to know Red on a personal level. She seemed okay, but it was weird for him to think of his mother as gay, and with this older woman. It just didn't sit right with Julio. It was hard enough being the boy at school who had a mom in prison, now Gloria had just given him another reason to be different.

They stood in line to order, both staring at their phones, but when they got to the counter Red turned to look at Julio promptly, "tell me what you'd like and I'll get it."

"I can get my own," Julio said awkwardly, not wanting to feel more in Red's debt that he already did, "and I can give you money for gas too."

"Absolutely not," Red said sternly, "just order your food." Julio did as she said, but still protested a fair bit when Red insisted on paying for him. "It was my idea to stop and eat," she reminded him, "you can save your money for something else." They sat in a booth, but Red kept her phone out, not as a means of blocking Julio out, he was quite sure she wasn't doing anything on it anyways, but just as a way of letting him know that she was fine with him not talking. The silence did not need to be filled, they were both comfortable with it.

"Thanks for lunch," Julio said politely, gathering up both of their garbage and trays so that Red would not have to do that.

"You're welcome," Red replied, surprised by his excellent manners as he returned her tray for her. He really was a sweet boy. Julio didn't seem to have his brother's anger. He seemed fine with Red as a person, just not as a person that was with his mother. He clearly did not want to think about that, but, then again, what teenage boy would. His behaviour was normal.

"Would you like to come to visitation with me again next time?" Red asked Julio cautiously, once they were in the safe confines of the car, and rapidly accelerating onto the highway.

"I told mom I'd like to," Julio admitted, "if you don't mind driving me, of course."

"Anytime," Red replied, "and that goes for anything, by the way, not just for drives to visitation. Your aunt gave you my number, so you have it now, feel free to use it if there is ever anything that I can do for you."

The tips of Julio's ears turned pink, "thanks, but I don't need anything," he told her shakily.

"I know you don't," Red agreed, her eyes on the road, hands holding tight to the wheel, "just keep it mind though, okay?" Julio nodded, his eyes cast outside the window at the majestic sight that was New York.

"And ask your brother if he would like to come with us next time," Red said, drumming her fingers on the wheel as she thought of Gloria's youngest, and infinitely more troubled, son. Benny had an anger inside of him, as though a demon had sucked away all his happiness and trust, and was still hanging around to ensure that nobody would make him vulnerable again. His anger was paramount, surrounding him in a protective coating that seemed impenetrable to Red, but she still felt that she needed to try.

"He won't," Julio replied, "and he'd get mad at me just for asking."

"Okay then," sighed Red, "that's too bad. Is it just because he wouldn't want to be around me? Or is he upset with your mother too?"

"He just hates everybody right now," said Julio, "he and Tia Lourdes fight a lot too."

"That can't be easy for you," Red said sympathetically, merging off of the highway at the correct exit. "It's hard to live with people who fight a lot."

"I'm used to it," Julio told her, blinking in surprise that she had thought about him. "my family likes to fight". Nobody had ever tried to understand how challenging it was to be him, living with an aggressive brother, who consumed all of the attention, and made home life sometimes unbearable. Julio had often been cast to the sidelines, and neglected because he caused no trouble, and so the focus became on the brother who did. Nobody, besides Red right now, had ever given him any sympathy for what he endured. Their regard was always directed solely at Lourdes, who was the martyr for taking in her criminal nieces troubled sons. It didn't matter that Julio tried to be good; even when he had a million reasons to act out, he was lumped in with his brother. The brother he loved.

"It's sad that you needed to get used to that," Red said, "but we all adjust to things that aren't really good, so that we can survive." She sighed, "I was terrified to be released from prison," she told Julio, deciding to share a piece of herself with him. "I almost didn't want to leave, as ridiculous as that was," she scoffed at her own stupidity.

"Why wouldn't you want to leave?" asked Julio curiously.

"Because that was what I was used to," Red replied, "and I didn't like depending on my sons to help me. Change can be scary, even when it's for the better."

"Changes have never been a good thing for me," said Julio, thinking of his mother being taken, the cross-country move to Florida, and the transformation in his brother.

Red looked over at him with pursed lips, "I'm very sorry that everything has been so hard on you," she said sincerely, "you've been asked to accept and cope with a lot of difficult things."

"Including you," Julio said bluntly.

"Yes, including me," Red said in agreement, sounding apologetic. "I'm not going to go away," she told him straightforwardly, "I'm just going to try and convince you, maybe, someday, that this could be one of the good types of changes."

"Good luck with that," murmured Julio.

"I'll take it," Red swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat, "because I'm sure I am going to need it." She clicked her tongue in contemplation.

"What are you going to do tonight?" Red asked him, making a turn onto a road that would lead down to his neighbourhood, "I'm pretty sure Lourdes is working late today." Red usually was the one who closed, but on days she went to the prison, Lourdes had to stay until the end.

"Probably just sit a home," muttered Julio.

Red tapped her fingers against the steering wheel, "will your brother be there?" she asked.

"Probably," said Julio, "he usually only stays home when Lourdes is at work. When she is home, he tries to stay out of the house to avoid her."

Red pulled the car off to the side of the road, outside the Mendoza's apartment building. "Thanks for everything," said Julio shyly, unbuckling his seat belt. The day had not been as excruciating as he had anticipated. Yesterday, he had been convinced that he was making the ultimate sacrifice of tolerating many hours with Red, just so that he could see his mother. It had turned out to be a satisfactory day.

"I want to ask you something before you go," Red told him, "and you can't say no until I've finished speaking. Huh?"

"What?" asked Julio skeptically.

"I think you need a break," Red said, carefully, "a few days where you don't need to worry about your brother. Now, my sons miss you, and Benny, very much. They knew nothing about anything, hmm? I told them after your mother told you, so they found out even later."

"Yeah…." said Julio slowly, "I know, it's just…"

"It's just," Red interrupted, "that I think you should come with us tomorrow. Come for a day, or stay the entire time, I heard you tell your mother that you weren't working this week." She forced herself to look at him after she finished speaking.

"Come with you all?" Julio scoffed, looking stunned, "no, no way, I couldn't…" he laughed awkwardly, and his ears tinged pink again at being put on the spot like this. This woman was insane. He had only used her for a drive, and now she wanted to invite him on a vacation.

"I will take you home the second you ask me to," Red promised, "and I'll stay out of your way, the entire time we're there, if you'd prefer. I just think you would enjoy it."

"Mom took us to the lake one time," Julio said, smiling at the memory, "and when Tia Lourdes moved us to Florida, she sometimes took us to the ocean on her days off from work."

"So, you'd probably like it," Red said gently, "is there anything I can do that will convince you to come?"

"I don't know," mumbled Julio, "I don't think I could because going with you, and your family, would be like saying I'm okay with you and my mom."

"And you're not?" Red asked him directly.

"Honestly…not really," said Julio,

"I still would like you to come," Red said quietly, "you aren't going to owe me anything if you do. Please?"

"I guess, maybe, I could," said Julio awkwardly, "I'm not doing anything else", he laughed uneasily, "you'll take me straight home If I don't like it?"

"I promise," Red told him.


	15. Chapter 15

Red sat at her kitchen table with a steaming cup of coffee in her hands while she waited for Maxim and Luca to pick her up. Duke sat at her feet as she scrolled through her text messages absentmindedly. Outwardly, Red would appear to be the picture of calm, but inside she was a bundle of nerves. She was sitting there with her feet propped up on the chair across from her, dressed in black linen pants, and a sleeveless red blouse, with black sandals on her feet. Sunglasses were perched on top of her head, and she had applied minimal makeup that morning. They were driving up to the lake today, the first family vacation that Red had been on since her children had been young. She was eager to escape the muggy humidity of the city in summertime.

"Hmmm," she hummed to herself, as she reread Julio Mendoza's texts to herself again. Julio had messaged her last night, a couple of hours after she had driven him home, and asked her if she had really been serious about inviting him along today. Of course, Red had written back that she certainly had been, and Julio had replied saying that he would be ready to go in the morning. Red was happy to give Julio the chance to escape reality for a brief time and just be a kid. She had already informed all three of her sons that he was coming and had unnecessarily lectured them on how important it was that they make him feel welcome. Julio was family, and hopefully this would be the first of many excursions that he enjoyed with them.

Red's phone buzzed in her hand and she quickly swiped to read the message from Maxim. _"We're parked out front, Ma. Do you need me to come up and give you a hand with your bag?"_ Quickly typing back _"No"_ _ **,**_ Red got out of her chair, grabbed Duke' leash, which was already harnessed onto him, and picked up her red overnight bag that she had sat by the door last night when she had packed. Red locked the door to her apartment behind her and carefully made her way down the steps to the waiting car.

Luca hopped out of the passenger seat when he saw her coming. "Good morning, Galina," he said brightly, relieving Red of her luggage, "I'll put that in the back with all of our other stuff."

"Thank you," Red said to him. She opened the back seat of the car and allowed Duke to hop in before she slid in beside him. Fastening her seatbelt, Red crossed her legs and rested her head against the back of the car. "Huh," she sighed, scratching Duke behind the ears.

Maxim turned around to look at her. "How are you, mama?" he asked.

"Fine," answered Red, smirking slightly to herself, "I'm fine." Maxim rested his head against the side of his seat and stared at her with a curious smile. Red peered back at him saying nothing more.

Luca slid into the passenger seat and Maxim turned back around. "Let's go get Julio," Luca said enthusiastically, "I'm so glad that he's coming."

"Me too," echoed Maxim, putting the car into drive. He glanced at his mother through the rear-view mirror, "I've missed hanging around with him, and Benny too of course."

"Uh huh," Red murmured, almost to herself. It took precious few minutes to get to the Mendoza's apartment building. Living in such close proximity to one another was a good thing, although Red would not have objected to a slightly longer car ride that morning. She fidgeted with her clothing and hair, preferring to listen to the two men in the front speak, rather than participate. Her posture was straight as an arrow when Maxim pulled up in front of the building. Red was out of the car the moment it stopped.

"Do you want me to—," Maxim started to say.

"I'll be right back with him," Red interrupted, already walking briskly away from the car. She quickly walked up the flight of stairs, pausing to catch her breath before she knocked on the door. Red licked her lips and smoothed her hair while she waited for it to open.

"Come in, Galina!" Lourdes said, smiling brightly as she ushered Red over the threshold. "Julio hasn't stopped talking all morning, he's so excited!" Red hadn't visited their apartment since that one time she had eaten dinner with them, nor had she had any direct contact with either of Gloria's sons in that same time frame, yesterday's visitation with Julio not withstanding. It was slightly incredulous how so much could change in such a short period of time, a few days prior Julio had still been denying her existence and now he was going to vacation with her. Perhaps things had been slowly evolving in Julio since their first encounter. Quite possibly he had been processing everything on his own over the last few months, and was at last ready and willing to give Red a fair chance.

"Oh," Red giggled lightly, and returned Lourdes friendly smile. "I wish I could ask you to come also," she clicked her tongue, "but I suppose one of us has to stay here and work." The friendship between these two women had truly blossomed over the months they had been working together. Red enjoyed having a contemporary who was not a child of hers to spend time with, and Lourdes appreciated the companionship of a woman who sympathized with her situation. Lourdes could never resist teasing Red that soon her problems would be passed on to her, and she was always jokingly warning Red to get out while she still could. Lourdes knew Red was not going anywhere, though, because her devotion to Gloria was unshakeable. Lourdes appreciated that about Red most of all.

"I'm just glad that he's happy," Lourdes told her, "he doesn't get to do things like this very often. Do you want a cup of tea while he finishes getting ready?"

"No," said Red, walking deeper into the home and laying her hands against the wood of the kitchen table, "my son is waiting for us in the car."

"Oh, then I'll go yell at him to hurry up," Lourdes said, letting go of the mug she had been retrieving from the cupboard and walking out of the kitchen briskly. She almost collided with Benny who was walking around the corner at the same moment. "Be nice," Lourdes hissed at him, tugging at the fabric of his t-shirt and halting him in his step. Benny met his aunt's warning gaze with a glower before shrugging her hand off and entering the kitchen.

"Hi, Benny," said Red, forcing herself to give him a tight smile, "you know I'm just waiting for your brother, so there is still time for you to change your mind and come with us." Last night, once Julio had agreed to come via text, Red had called Lourdes to go over the details with her. She had asked to speak with Benny who, unsurprisingly, staunchly refused to come to the phone, and then she had settled for asking Lourdes to pass along the message. Lourdes had thought she was crazy to risk her family's trip being ruined by a sullen boy. It was why Lourdes hadn't taken her nephews on any excursions in recent years. Money aside, Benny was simply too unpredictable for her to risk taking somewhere new. He was difficult enough to manage at home.

"Uh, no," Benny said coolly, pulling the orange juice out of the fridge and drinking straight from the carton. When he was finished he wiped his mouth on his arm. "Oh, sorry," he said sarcastically, smirking and holding the carton towards Red, "where are my manners? Would you like a drink?"

"I don't think so," Red pursed her lips. If he was one of her sons, she would have smacked the orange juice out of his hand, before smacking him upside the head, but Benny was not her son. He was Gloria's.

"He's coming," Lourdes told Red, hurrying back into the kitchen, clearly uncomfortable with leaving Red and Benny alone together for longer than a minute. "He couldn't find his bathing suit, so I had him just take Benny's. They're practically the same size."

"Thanks for asking first," Benny rolled his eyes as he returned the carton of juice to the fridge, and slammed the door shut with unnecessary force.

"Well, you're not going," Lourdes told him, "so what does it even matter? You'd rather sit around the apartment skulking and driving me mad. Honestly!" she shook her head and glanced at Red in exasperation. Red curled her lip, apparently unsure of how to proceed. Her hands were still holding tightly to the kitchen chair. She couldn't help thinking that the tension in this room made Litchfield seem harmonious.

"If you come, we can stop along the way and go shopping for another swim suit," Red said to Benny, trying to sound as inviting as one possibly could to somebody so unpleasant. Julio chose this moment to appear in the doorway. He looked over at Red shyly, an overstuffed backpack over one of his shoulders.

"I'm not going to go anywhere with you," Benny scoffed, using his arms to hoist himself onto the kitchen counter. The dirty shoes that he was wearing in the house bumped noisily against the cabinet doors.

"Don't bother, Galina," Lourdes said frostily with her hands on her hips, "that one is determined to be miserable. And he'll take us all down with him if we let him." Benny smirked as though he found her anger amusing.

Red sighed as she regarded Benny's defiant face. She turned away from him to acknowledge Julio's entrance. "All set?" she asked him enthusiastically.

"I think so," said Julio timidly, "I'm wearing my sandals, but I was wondering if I should bring my runners too? I didn't want to bring too much."

"I'd bring them just in case" Red said, drumming her hands on the back of the chair, "Did you remember a sweater as well? I know that it's hot, but it could get cooler at night."

"No," said Julio, turning slightly pink, "I guess I'll go grab one." He hurried back down the hall towards his bedroom. Silence fell between the kitchen's three occupants, Red uncertain about what more she could say. She had invited Benny, she had made an effort, and he had said no. Red wasn't about to beg.

When Julio returned, Red released the chair and motioned him towards the door with a nod of her head. She turned to Lourdes, "you have my number if you need to get in touch with me." Lourdes nodded. Red turned to look back over at Benny with a sad expression, "I hope you'll come next time," she said to him.

Benny's stony face remained impassive, as though he hadn't even heard Red speak. "Say thank you!" Lourdes demanded loudly, "don't be so rude. What's the matter with you!" At his aunt's harsh words, Benny jumped off of the counter, his feet making a loud bang on the floor. As he passed the table, he reached out a hand and purposely knocked one of the kitchen chairs over. The chair thudded loudly to the ground, echoing in the otherwise silent room. He stormed out of the room and, a moment later, another loud bang occurred when Benny slammed the door to his bedroom shut.

"Are you okay?" Red asked Lourdes in concerned astonishment. Lourdes hadn't been hit by the chair, but she had been standing close enough that the possibility had been there. Red wasn't entirely convinced that Benny hadn't been purposefully aiming for her.

"Yes," said Lourdes shakily, bending down to lift the chair.

"Maybe I should go talk to him," Julio said uneasily, standing at the door with his backpack over his shoulders and a hoodie in his arms.

"No, we're leaving," Red told him shortly, "give him time to cool down and you can call him tonight, if you want." Julio hesitated, glancing at his aunt and down the hall where his brother had just stormed off. It felt wrong to leave when his younger brother was so upset and he knew that it was his betrayal that was causing his brother's accelerated angst.

"Have fun," Lourdes told him quietly, walking over to the door and kissing her nephew's cheek, "you deserve to have some fun."

"Let's go, honey," Red said firmly, giving Lourdes a sympathetic glance as she passed the older woman and walked out of the apartment.

"Hey, Julio!" Luca and Maxim greeted him when he and Red approached the car. Julio looked slightly downtrodden and both of them wondered if he had had second thoughts about coming with them, or if something had just occurred upstairs.

"Hey," Julio said quietly, smiling painfully at them. "What do I do with my bag?" he asked uncertainly.

"I'll take it," Maxim said quickly, popping the trunk of the car and jogging around to them.

"Thanks," said Julio, sliding into the backseat, where Red's dog was wagging his tail excitedly. "Hey, boy," Julio laughed, holding out a hand for the dog to sniff. "Wait, is it a boy?" her turned around to look at Red.

"Yes," Red said, smiling, "his name is Duke."

"Hey, Duke," Julio said, as he slid over to the far side of the car and Duke hopped up on the seat beside him, "hey boy."

"So, thank goodness, we have air conditioning, Ma," Maxim muttered, as he placed Julio's backpack in the trunk of the car, "I didn't know you were staying to visit when you went up there alone. Me and Luc could have gone out to get breakfast in the time that you took."

"What are you trying to blame me or something?" Red muttered back, "things were a little heated upstairs," she over accentuated the words, stretching her mouth wide as she whispered to him. "Consider yourself lucky to be waiting down here in the car."

"That bad?" Maxim asked quietly, as he shifted some things around inside the full trunk so that they would fit better. "Was it Benny?"

"Don't even ask," Red grimaced, giving her son a pointed look, before climbing into the back seat of the car next to Julio. Julio was petting the dog and gazing out his side window wordlessly. He did not look at Red when she sat down beside him, but Red could not resist watching him out of the corner of her eye as the car took off. What had happened upstairs had disturbed her more than she had let on. Benny was a desperate cry for help and yet Red was at a loss on how to help him. Lourdes had clearly given up on the boy and Red couldn't say that she blamed her. How many years had Benny been terrorizing the family and making them all miserable with his anger? It was sad more than anything and it had broken Red's heart to see the look on Julio's face following his brother's outburst. She had hurried him out of the apartment as quickly as was feasible, scared that he would change his mind about coming and decide that he needed to stay home with his brother.

"He likes you," Red said quietly to Julio, running her fingers down the dog's back, as he lay between them, his head rested in Julio's lap. "Have you ever had a dog before?" she asked him.

"No," said Julio, "I always wanted one, but my mom likes cats more." He looked over at Red momentarily before turning away again.

"So, are you okay?" Red asked him quietly, the radio and the chatter up front making it difficult for the car's other occupants to overhear her.

"Why wouldn't I be?" said Julio unconvincingly, massaging the dog's ears in order to have something to do with his hands. He could feel Red's eyes upon him and he refused to look up and meet them.

"Well, what happened when we were leaving," Red said unnecessarily, leaning her head back against the seat and regarding him intently.

"I'm used to it," Julio said shortly, still not looking at her.

"I'm sorry," Red said simply. She wasn't sure if she was apologizing or sympathizing. Perhaps it was a bit of both. Deep down Red knew that she wasn't doing anything really wrong. Gloria and her had a right to be together if that was what they wanted, and it was something they were attempting to do with the utmost care and caution for her sons. Yet, Red knew that things had been going fairly well for Julio and Benny before she was introduced, and that Benny, at least, had been on a downward spiral ever since. Red meant them no harm, but she was another huge adjustment for them, one that she didn't really feel in her heart was fair to expect them to accept. Children needed structure and stability, but they had never been given that. It was no wonder why Benny was angry. Red felt terrible guilt for being another challenge that poor boy needed to endure.

"It's not your fault," Julio said suddenly, forcing himself to look Red in the eye so that she would know he was sincere. Red could not help but notice that his eyes were the exact same shade of copper as Gloria's, and her own blue eyes softened when she realized what his words implied. It was an admittance of acceptance, or at least the beginning of it. That though the thought of Red and his mother as a couple still might make him quite uncomfortable, Julio held no contempt towards Red as a person. Julio couldn't help but like her if he pretended that she was just Gloria's friend, and he couldn't ignore the warmth she ignited in him whenever she spoke to him, or acted, like she cared. She had called him honey, the word slipping out of her mouth so casually that Julio was not even sure that Red was aware that she had said it. The term of endearment had ignited a warmth within Julio, and he sort of wanted to hear her say it again. Julio liked her, and he was self aware enough to recognize that if Red were a man she would be exactly the type of person he had always hoped his mother would find. That was the struggle for him, even if he was ashamed to admit it.

They had driven off the busy freeway awhile back, instead cruising down the quiet highways of the countryside, passing through many quaint and sleepy towns. The drive was fairly subdued. Neither Red or Julio talked much, at least not to one another. At a gas station, Red had bought Julio an ice cream, silencing him with a stern look when he had tried to pay for it himself. Julio was not sure what her reasoning was since he knew that she did not have a lot of money to be throwing around. Red just seemed to like treating him, and Julio let her.

Julio didn't mind the driving. He rarely had had the opportunity to venture outside of Queens, besides visits to the prison. It was a nice change to be going in a different direction and getting to see something new. For most of the drive, he had been staring out the window marvelling at the small towns with nothing much more than a single restaurant, gas station, and a post office, and wondering what exactly could possess some people to live in such remote locations. The quiet might be nice for a spell, but Julio was sure it must be a rather boring way to live. Although, it might be nice, he supposed, to have so much space to yourself to do whatever you wanted with. That was the problem with the city, everywhere was crowded and no space was really yours. Maybe Julio wouldn't mind sharing a small bedroom with his brother so much if he had acres of land just outside to escape to whenever he wanted to be by himself. That part of it would be nice. He wondered if his mom would like it. In everything Julio did, it was a habit of his to ponder about what Gloria's reaction to it would be were she there. It had been so long since he had seen her in normal settings that he couldn't really remember what his mother was like in the real world. Prison had probably changed her a lot though, so maybe remembering the past wasn't so important. Red was enough evidence to confirm how different his mother now was.

The small towns changed into open farmland, and then they turned off of the highway and began winding their way down narrow and hilly roads, surrounded by forest, so that it looked like they were driving though a green tunnel. Julio looked away from the window and over at Red who had been reading a book silently to herself for the better part of an hour. Her lips were parted and her eyes darted back and forth across the page beneath her violet reading glasses. She was clearly enthralled by whatever she was reading. Julio had enjoyed sitting next to Red while she read, appreciating the chance to observe her without the pressure to communicate. He barely knew her, they barely spoke, and yet he couldn't help but find unusual solace in her presence. Somehow, Julio knew that if he went to Red with a problem that she would try to solve it, and if he needed to talk to somebody that she would listen. She just seemed to be that type of person.

Red continued to stare at her book, pretending that she was not aware of Julio's eyes upon her. She had been paying close attention to him on the drive and thought he seemed peaceful. She could sense the changes between them and could tell that Julio was subtly letting her in. "Well, that's enough for now," Red stated after a moment, closing her book. "I was beginning to feel carsick from all the jostling in this vehicle." She met Julio's gaze briefly and removed her glasses. "Can't you drive a little more smoothly, Maxim?" she frowned at the back of her son's head.

"It's a dirt road, Ma," Maxim said wryly, "I'm not doing it on purpose."

"My back is killing me from sitting so long," she leaned forward and pressed her hands to her lower back, "we should have stopped more along the way to stretch."

"Then it would have taken us all day to get here," Maxim replied smoothly, keeping his eyes on the road as he drove the winding trail. Leaves from the branches of the trees brushed the top of the car, and Maxim further reduced his speed as the road became narrower.

"You'll feel differently when you're my age," Red muttered, looking out her window at the forest they were driving through. It was beautiful, she begrudgingly admitted to herself, but she hadn't expected to be taken so far away from civilization. How typical of her sons not to just pick one of the many convenient camp resorts they had passed along the highway to stay at. When they told her that they were going to escape the city they had certainly meant it. They just better hope that there was decent cell reception where they were going.

"You mean when I'm old?" Maxim asked audaciously, and Julio could not supress a snort. Julio had always found the way the three Reznikov brothers teased and played with one another to be rather funny, and it amused him to see that they acted the same way towards their mother. They could be snarky, but it was obvious that they were a family who loved one another very much.

Red peered over at him and Julio quickly switched his snort into a fake coughing fit. "I have a tickle in my throat," he told her smiling innocently.

"Nice save," Maxim grinned at him in the rear-view mirror.

"Look everyone!" Luca pointed out the window, "we're here." The narrow dirt road through the forest opened up to a beautiful sandy beach that was off of a lake with crystal clear water, surrounded by tall cliffs. Julio stared out the window with his nose pressed to the glass, looking positively enchanted. This was one of the most beautiful sights he had ever seen and it made him sad that Benny had refused to come see it with him. He and his brother could have had an awesome time here together.

They drove slowly down the beach with Maxim craning to see the numbers on the cottages that they passed. The family had rented a larger cabin on the quieter side of the lake. They all chipped in so that they could afford to do this and it had become an annual trip that the Reznikovs did every summer. Of course, this was the first year that Red was going to be there with them. The first time the boys had ever been here was when Dmitri and Klara had decided to take them on vacation. It had been almost a year to the day that Red had been incarcerated, and their father had wisely thought to take them somewhere and distract them so that they wouldn't miss their mother too much. Klara had been more than a little bitter when Maxim had asked her to only come up for the trip once Red was gone.

"She's only staying for three days," Maxim had said to his stepmother back in July when they were organizing the trip. Maxim and Klara had met at the café that they always went to on Wednesday mornings for their weekly breakfast together. They had been doing that for years. "So just wait three days and then drive up and spend the rest of the week with us," Maxim had pleaded.

"This is supposed to be our time together," Klara had told him mournfully, "it's always been our tradition. I'm fine if she is there too but I don't think that I should have to miss out on time with my own family!" Klara sniffed as she picked at the omelette that she had ordered. She didn't ordinarily try and guilt her stepsons about the loyalty they had for their mother, but it irritated her that Red was imposing on a tradition that she had brought into the family. That lake had been her and Dmitri's place to bring their boys together. Red had never been a part of that.

"Mama is not ready to go on vacation with you, Klara," Maxim had stated gently, "but she has just as much reason to be there with us as you do. Just share the time, please? Maybe someday we can try both of you together." One look at Maxim's pleading eyes and Klara reluctantly gave in.

"Alright, I'll drive up on Wednesday, after she's gone," Klara had said begrudgingly, shaking her head. They had stood up and walked out of the restaurant. About to step into her cab, Klara had turned around and touched Maxim's face, regarding him with an affectionate look. "Always the peacekeeper, just like your father," Klara said, stroking his cheek with her thumb, "Dmitri would be so proud of the man you are, darling, and he would be very pleased with how good you take care of your mother. I hope she appreciates how lucky she is. I know that I am very lucky to have you."

Maxim pulled up next to a rustic log cabin that overlooked the water and was surrounded by tall pine trees. "This is where we're staying!" Julio exclaimed excitedly. As soon as the car had stopped, he unlatched his seatbelt and swung open the door. Hesitating, he turned back to look at Red, who had climbed out of the car and was looking at her cell phone carefully. "Is it okay if I go explore a bit?" Julio asked, walking over to her, "I can walk Duke for you." Red was touched that he cared to ask her permission. She was responsible for him while they were away, but she hadn't expected him to be so agreeable.

"Uh, I guess that's alright," Red said skeptically, lowering her phone, and pursing her lips anxiously as she regarded him. Julio was a teenage boy used to navigating around the streets of New York by himself, so she knew it wouldn't be reasonable to want him to stay where she could see him the entire time. "Just don't go far or get lost, whatever you do. You know how to swim and all of that, yes?" she asked him swiftly.

"Yep," Julio nodded, rocking on the balls of his feet as he stood in front of her. Maxim and Luca had walked off to the cabin to greet the family, leaving Red and Julio at the car by themselves.

"Don't go in the water anyways," Red said sternly, "wait until there is somebody with you. Just stay on the trails. Do you have your cell phone on you?"

"Yeah," Julio nodded again. He was a little amused at Red's obvious anxiety about leaving him to walk down a quiet road by himself. Julio figured Red just wanted to make sure that she wouldn't have to call up his mother and have to explain that she had lost him in the woods.

"Well, I just checked and we have cell service here, thankfully," Red said, lighting up her phone again so that she could double check, "so message me if you need anything."

"I will," Julio said, looking at her as she read through the list she must have stowed away in her mind. It was probably the same things that Gloria would have said to him if she had been around when he had gotten old enough to go places by himself. Lourdes was usually too busy with work or with dealing with Benny to notice where Julio went. She had bought them both cell phones though, so that they could keep in touch with her. It wasn't as if she didn't care.

"Don't be gone too long, though," Red told him. She motioned towards the cabin, "you should come in and say hello to everybody. They're all really happy that you're here."

"I will," Julio replied, "I just want to do something first. We were in the car for a long time."

"Alright," Red nodded affirmatively at him, "go ahead."

Julio flashed her a large grin, "thanks!" he told her, "I'll be back soon, and I'll tell you everything that I see." He turned and began to jog down the road, the dog sprinting eagerly at his side. Red watched him go, happy because he was happy. It was just too bad that Gloria was missing this.

"Grandma!" Alexei shouted, when Red walked into the cabin. He jumped up from table where everyone was eating lunch and rushed over to her, throwing himself into her arms.

"Mwah," Red kissed her grandson's forehead, "I missed you." She bit back a groan as she released the boy. He had knocked the wind out of her when he'd jumped at her, and her back was bothering her more than it usually did after the long drive.

"Grandma, I went swimming!" Alexei told her proudly, clutching her fingers in his little hand and pulling her towards the large rectangular table that was overcrowded with all of her people.

"Did you have fun?" Red asked him, her eyes falling on the boy and girl that were sitting on the far end of the table, eating sandwiches neatly and quietly. These were her two oldest grandchildren, the ones she still had only seen in photographs. They were so much bigger than she had expected them to be, both tall and trim, just like their mother Anna. Red could see her family in them as well. Feliks had inherited Dmitri's dark hair and his nose, poor child. Ivanna looked more like her mother, with dark curly ringlets, but Red could tell that she had her chin, as well as her blue eyes, which were watching Red curiously from beneath her fringe.

"Hello," Red said softly, walking over to them but tugging Alexei along with her for courage. "Feliks? Ivanna? I'm your grandmother." She swallowed nervously.

"Hi," Feliks and Ivanna said simultaneously.

"We know that you're our grandmother," Ivanna told Red, "Daddy told us you were coming and that we'd finally get to meet you."

"Uh huh," Red murmured, taking the vacant chair next to the little girl, who seemed chattier than her older brother.

"I didn't know you existed before," Ivanna said bluntly, "I didn't even know I had another Grandma."

"Well, that makes sense," Red said, pulling Alexei onto her lap and snuggling him tightly, "I wasn't around before."

"Isn't that because you were in prison?" Feliks asked her, poking his fingers through the bread of his sandwich, apparently with the intention of making a happy face in it.

"Feliks!" Ivanna scolded her brother, "Daddy said we weren't supposed to talk about that."

"That's okay," Red said wearily, "Feliks is right. I was in prison."

"Grandma, I have chips?" Alexei asked her, completely oblivious to what she had just said. He pointed towards a bowl on the table.

"Did you kill somebody or something?" Feliks asked her. Red reached into the bowl for a handful of chips that she laid on the table for Alexei to much on.

"No, I didn't kill anybody," Red said quickly, "but I made some mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes." It was the easiest way she could think to explain what had happened. In a ten-year old's mind, people in prison were always the bad guys. That wasn't always the case, Red knew very well. Sometimes good people did bad things. Red still wanted to think that she was a good person.

"Is prison scary?" Ivanna asked in a spooky voice, her eyes wide in excitement.

"Okay," Lida said loudly, coming over and standing between Feliks and Ivanna, with Vera balanced on her hip. "Let's not interrogate Grandma the second she gets here," she scolded, "besides, Uncle Vasily is outside getting ready to take you guys on a boat ride, so maybe you should go get your swimsuits on."

"Let's go!" Ivanna said enthusiastically, tugging on her brother's shirt. The two kids hopped up from their chairs and scampered off down the hallway.

"Mommy, I want to go on a boat ride too," Alexei said eagerly, happily munching on chips and getting crumbs all over Red's lap.

"I don't think so," Lida said to him firmly, "I want you to learn how to swim first." She sat down in Ivanna's now vacant chair.

"What kind of boat is it?" Red asked her daughter-in-law.

"A motorboat," Lida replied, "it comes with the house. Not a very good one though, apparently. Vasily has been working on it all morning. I suppose if it breaks down out there we'll need to go rescue them all in the canoes," she laughed.

"That sounds reassuring," Red said, "I think I'll stay on land." Alexei wriggled off of her lap and took off towards the bedroom where he could hear his older cousins talking.

"Julio might want to go," Lida said, "where is he anyways?"

"He's walking the dog," Red said, "but he promised he wouldn't go too far.

"It's great that he's here," Lida told her, "We've all really missed him."

"It's safe here, right?" Red asked nervously, "To let him go off on his own."

"Uh, yeah," Lida giggled, "it's very safe. Sweet that you're worrying about him though."

"I'm not worried," Red scoffed, "I just don't want to call Gloria up and have to tell her that her son was attacked by a bear or something." At her own words, Red suddenly looked very panicked, and gripped Lida's arm tightly. "Lida, there aren't bears close by, are there?" she asked.

"Yeah, there are bears," Lida said with a smile, "but they're only really a concern between dusk and dawn, and I'm pretty sure that they are more afraid of us than we are of them. Don't worry!"

The door of the cabin opened and Julio cautiously walked in, feeling slightly intimidated by the large group, even though he knew everybody who was there. He hadn't felt this shy around them since they had first met, but now things were a little different. It was embarrassing to realize that all of these people now knew that his mother was in a lesbian relationship with Red. He didn't know why that bothered him, considering that they were all in the exact same position, just from the other side. It connected them all in a strange way that went beyond friendship and entered into family territory. That was why he was there that weekend, after all. He was supposed to be thinking of these people as his family. Before he could do that though, he first needed to accept Red as his mother's partner.

"Hi, Julio!" Yuri greeted him enthusiastically from his place on the couch. He had been walking television by himself.

"Hey," said Julio shyly, bending down to unclip the dog's leash, "how's it going?" Duke leaped away running around the cottage and sniffing everything.

"Not bad," said Yuri, standing up and perching himself on the side of the armchair as he watched Julio take his shoes off. "We're going to take the boat out on the lake soon," he told him, "Vasily's just getting it ready."

"Nice," said Julio, "I've never been on a boat before."

"Come have some lunch first and then we'll give you a tour," Yuri promised, leading Julio to the table where Lida and Red were talking. "There is a great cliff on the other side that we like to boat to and then jump off of."

"I want to try that," Julio exclaimed, sitting down at the table, "how high is it?"

"About thirty feet," Yuri grinned, leaning over the table beside him, "think you can handle that?"

"Of course, I can," Julio told him confidently.

"Thirty feet of what?" Red frowned, looking between the two of them, "Julio, would you like a sandwich for lunch?"

"Sure," said Julio, sitting down in one of the chairs at the table. Red got up and walked over to the counter to start prepping him a sandwich with the ingredients that were still opened messily all over the kitchen.

"I'm going to check on the kids," Lida announced, "Julio, I'm so glad that you're here!" She walked off towards the bedroom where Feliks, Ivanna, and Alexei could be heard laughing hysterically as the sounds of mattresses creaking flowed into the room. The kids were obviously jumping on the beds.

"Thirty-foot cliff, Ma," Yuri told her, grinning as he walked over to join her at the counter. "We take the boat over to these beautiful rock formations and the water is deep enough for us to jump off of them."

"You jump off of a mountain?" Red asked him in alarm. She placed the sandwich on a small blue plate and delivered it to the table. "Would you like some juice or a soda?" she asked Julio.

"Juice, please," said Julio politely.

"It's not a mountain, Ma," Yuri laughed, "it's basically a big rock. It's fun! Do you want to come watch?"

"I don't think so," Red told him, grabbing a glass from the cabinet and filling it with orange juice that she procured from the fridge.

"We got Papa to do it before," Yuri told her, as Red walked back over to Julio and placed the drink in front of him.

"That doesn't surprise me," Red said, stepping back and leaning against the wall lazily. "Your father was always a follower. If you jumped then he would too." She watched Julio put the remnants of his sandwich down, apparently the boy did not like eating crusts or tomatoes—and they were fresh tomatoes from the farmer's market too. "Would you like another one?" she asked him kindly.

"Uh, okay," said Julio, "thanks." He passed Red his plate and she took it back over to the counter to make him another one.

"So, uh, listen, Ma," said Yuri nervously, "what time are you planning on leaving on Tuesday?" He was leaning with his back to the counter, watching her face closely for signs of a reaction.

"Does it matter?" Red asked him. She searched for a knife and then used it to cut off the crust of the sandwich.

"Well, sort of," Yuri sighed, and Red looked over at him expectantly.

"Why?" she asked him suspiciously, her hands frozen in mid-air.

Yuri laughed nervously, "well, first of all, put down the knife, Ma." Red rolled her eyes and placed the knife back down on the counter, smacking her hands together dramatically. She crossed them over her chest and waited for her oldest son to speak.

"Okay," Yuri sighed, "just don't shoot the messenger and don't let this ruin anything, okay?" He brushed his hand against his forehead.

"I'm not promising that," Red said, her arms crossed tightly as she glowered at him, "tell me what's going on."

"Klara wants to come hang out with us here," Yuri said, and Red's arms fell limp at her side and her mouth gaped open. "Just wait!" Yuri told her, holding his hand out when she tried to interrupt him. "We said it was okay, only if she came when you were already gone."

"And?" Red demanded.

"And," Yuri shifted his weight from side to side, "and she called this morning and said she was coming on Tuesday, instead of Wednesday, but not until after dinner."

"Well then I'll leave before dinner," Red said simply, looking pained, as she picked up Julio's sandwich and carried it over to the table where he had been silently sitting, watching the exchange between mother and son. "Here, honey," Red said, in a completely different tone than the one she had used when addressing Yuri. Red placed the sandwich down on the table in front of him.

"Thanks," Julio said quietly, looking down at his second sandwich. This time the crusts had been carefully cut off, which meant that Red had noticed he didn't like that part, even while in the midst of an intense conversation with Yuri. Before taking a bite, Julio lifted the top piece of bread to take a look. There were no tomatoes. Julio felt his heart flutter slightly as he picked it up and took a big bite. Sure, it wasn't that big a deal, he thought while he chewed, because it would make no sense to waste tomatoes when she had seen that he didn't like them. It wasn't the act in itself, but the fact that Red had bothered to pay attention to his likes and dislikes that was making him feel so heartened. She made him feel cared for and she did it in such an effortless way.

"So, you're okay, Ma?" Yuri asked hesitantly, sitting down at the table and watching her.

"I'm fine," Red said shortly. She walked back to the fridge and retrieved the carton of orange juice again.

"I just wanted to be honest," Yuri sighed, "and I wanted to make sure you weren't blindsided if she happened to show up early. I don't know why the f**k she said she needed to come Tuesday after all, Vasily was the one who answered the phone. I would have told her to back off."

"Thanks for that," Red said sarcastically, "I know that's a hard thing for the three of you to be, honest!" She gave him a frosty look.

"I'm trying," Yuri said apologetically, "I'm sorry, okay?"

"Yuri, it's alright," Red said tiredly, walking back over to Julio and refilling his empty glass without him even asking. "You were thirsty," she murmured to the younger boy. Then she addressed Yuri, "I'm not angry with you, I know it's not your fault."

"Good," Yuri said weakly, sitting himself down into one of the chairs, and resting his head in his hand.

"I know she's not just going to go away," Red said, looking at Yuri while she gingerly placed her hand on the back of Julio's chair. Julio leaned back a bit so that his shoulder brushed against her fingertips. "I'm dealing with it," she sighed, lightly scratching Julio's shoulder blade in a movement that might have been accidental, before releasing the chair and walking back to the fridge. "In my own way."

The afternoon Julio spent on the lake was the most fun he could remember having in ages. As Yuri had promised, Vasily sped the boat around the lake showing them the beaver damn and the rock cliffs that they stopped to jump off of. Red didn't go with them. She stayed on the beach with the little kids and insisted that Lida go have a break. Julio was having the time of his life out on the water, with the breeze in his hair, and the sun on his face. This was a paradise and his problems seemed a million miles away. The water was crystal clear and when Julio looked over the edge of the boat he could see all the way down to the smooth rocks, green plants, and tree stumps at the bottom. They looked close enough that it seemed he could swim down to them, but Julio knew that the lake was actually very deep.

They stopped the boat beside a tiny island and everybody jumped off to explore. The lake wasn't huge, and even though they were on the other side of the it, Julio thought he could see dotted figures of Red, Alexei, and Vera sitting on the sandy beach. Red had had been helping Alexi building a sandcastle when they had left. Lida stretched out her towel on the smooth rocky surface of the island, "I could sleep here," she exclaimed, laying down on it and pulling a novel out of her beach bag.

"Then why are you reading instead of sleeping?" Vasily asked her, the only one still standing on the boat, looked it over carefully.

"I might do a bit of both," Lida replied, "thank heavens for your mother! She's watching the kids and I get to laze about on an island. It doesn't get any better than this!"

"Don't tell me we're shipwrecked," Luca joked, emerging from the trees. He walked over to the boat that Vasily was tinkering with again, "what did you do to it?"

"Nothing," Vasily said defiantly, "I'm just making sure everything is in order before we go tubing." Apparently finished, he dropped into one of the seats on the boat.

"You're going tubing?" Lida asked him skeptically.

"Why do you think I brought the inflatable tube that Yuri is currently blowing up?" Vasily replied.

"I don't know," Lida replied lazily, her eyes glued to her book, "I thought we were just going to float around on it."

"That's boring, Aunt Lida," Ivanna stated as she, Feliks, and Julio walked back onto the rocky island beach. They had taken a walk around the perimeter of the island, walking over the pebbles and larger rocks on the island's shoreline. The island was so tiny that it had only taken them about ten minutes to get around the entire thing.

"Your Daddy said you guys could go too?" Lida asked Ivanna, glancing over at Vasily with her eyebrows raised.

"I'll drive slow," Vasily reassured his wife, "and they're both great swimmers. They'll be fine." He was leaning back in his chair with his arms folded behind his head. He looked the picture of leisure.

"So, am I the only one not going?" Lida asked, doing a crunch to look up at her husband. She slid the pink aviator sunglasses, that had been perched in her blonde hair, over her eyes.

"I'm not either," Luca told her, "I brought a book too." He hopped up on the boat and rummaged in the storage compartment.

"Lame," Feliks exclaimed. He sat down at the water's edge.

"We've been on the boat all afternoon," Luca reminded him, "I could use a break." He took his book and hopped off the boat, splashing in the water as he walked back to the island.

"Pull up a towel," Lida smiled at him, as she patted the ground beside her, "there's plenty of sun to go around."

"Okay, it's ready," Yuri announced, as he and Maxim lifted a large black tube over to the boat. "Now we just need to tie it." Yuri hopped onto the boat, and Maxim stepped into the water to secure it from that side.

"Alright, everybody who's going, hop on," Vasily announced from the driver's seat. Julio jumped up onto the boat beside him, followed closely by Feliks and Ivanna, who both had been glued to his side since they had gotten on the boat. Julio and Benny had worked hard to impress the younger kids that time at the amusement park together, and they still thought he was really cool.

"Can I go first, Uncle Vasily?" Ivanna asked, hopping up and down excitedly.

"No, I'm going first," Vasily said childishly to his niece, "it was my idea." He spun his chair in a circle.

"Neither of you are going first," Yuri told them, practically upside down leaning over the boat to tie the rope around the tube. "Huh," he breathed, wiping a bead of sweat off of his forehead as he righted himself, "your Uncle Max and I did all the work getting it ready, so we get first dibs."

"I got the boat ready," Vasily protested.

"You pretended to look busy so that you wouldn't have to help pump this thing up," Maxim argued, from where he stood in the water. "Us first. You can have fun playing Captain of the boat a bit longer. Just don't drive too erratically and flip us."

"Fine," Vasily said reluctantly, watching his two older brothers climb unsteadily onto the large tube together.

"Be safe!" Lida warned, as Vasily started the engine and they began to take them back onto the water again. Julio sat down in the seat beside him, and the kids were settled in the back. As soon as he was far enough away from the island, Vasily hit the accelerator and took them zooming all around the lake, while his brothers cheered from behind.

"Hold on tight!" Vasily shouted at the boat's occupants, and Feliks and Ivanna shrieked with delight. They zipped around the lake, Julio grinning ear to ear, and holding tightly to the edge of the boat. He couldn't remember why he had wanted to cut these guys out of his life before. They were so much fun. After Yuri and Maxim's turn was up, Julio hopped on the tube with Feliks for a spin. He had never been tubing before and it was incredible. Riding the waves like that gave him such a thrill and he couldn't have been happier. Vasily went last with Ivanna, and then it was time to rescue Lida and Luca from the island, and go back to the cottage. Julio didn't have a watch on him, but he could tell from the way that his stomach was grumbling that it was almost suppertime.

"You got some sun," Red said by way of greeting, when Julio rushed into the cabin and over to the fridge to pour himself a drink. Red was cooking over the stove, while Vera banged away on some pots beside her. Alexei was seated at the table, kneeling on the chair, and busy scribbling in a colouring book. "Why didn't you wear a hat?" Red asked him.

"It would have blown off on the boat," Julio told her. He gulped down the rest of his water and placed the glass in the sink. "I need to change," he told her, "is my bag still in the car?"

"No, everything was brought in," Red told him, lifting the lid on a pot so that she could poke at the potatoes boiling within it. "I put it on your bed for you. It's on the top bunk closest to the door, in the large room, you'll see it."

"Thanks," Julio told her, hurrying off down the hall. He opened two single rooms before he walked into the largest room that housed two sets of bunkbeds. The beds on the bottom were doubles, big enough for two grown people, and the ones on the top were singles. Julio stood on the lower bunk, so that he could reach his bag. Unzipping it he pulled out his clothes and changed quickly, before anybody else could come in. He couldn't remember a more perfect day, and he still had two more days to spend here.

Dinner was delicious. Red had gone all out while they were all gone, preparing a feast of mashed potatoes, steamed vegetables, salad, and chicken Kiev to eat. Apparently, there was no such thing as simple hotdogs with a side of potato chips when you went to the lake with this woman. Julio was halfway through his second helping when his cell phone went off on the counter. He hadn't had it on him all day, hadn't even thought about it, which was a rare thing for him.

When he answered it, he walked over to Red who was back at the kitchen counter slicing up the apple crumble she had baked for dessert. "It's mom," Julio told her, and Red looked over at him in surprise. "Do you want to come talk to her with me?" Gloria had not asked Julio to get Red, he had just thought it was the nice thing to do.

"Sure," Red nodded, visibly stunned, "let's go into my room where it will be quiet." She led Julio towards the small bedroom, that she had to herself, and they both sat down on the bed together.

"Hold on a sec, mom," Julio said into the cellphone, "I'll put you on speaker." He set it up and then placed the phone face up on the bed between him and Red, so that they would both be audible.

"Hi, Gloria," Red lightly, sounding cheerful and relaxed.

"Hi!" Gloria said enthusiastically, "how are you both? Are you having fun?"

"I went on a boat ride," Julio told her happily, "and we even went tubing." He leaned back on the bed, resting his body on his elbows.

"Red, you went tubing?" Gloria asked incredulously.

"No," Red scoffed, sitting with her body angled towards the phone, her feet crossed at the ankle.

"I went with the guys and Yuri's kids," Julio said, rocking his legs side to side off the edge of the bed.

"Oh, okay," said Gloria, "that makes a bit more sense. Although the image I got in my head when you said that was quite hysterical." Julio laughed at the look on Red's face.

"We should try and come back here again when you can come," Julio said continuing to fidget, "it's too bad you're not here right now. You'd probably like it."

"Eh, I don't like bugs," Gloria said good naturedly, "I'm sure you're having much more fun without me."

"We'll you're just going to have to suck it up and come anyways," Red told her, rubbing her thighs with her hands, "because I already promised Nicky that I'd take her next summer."

"I'll come," Gloria said happily, "Julio can show me all of the fun things to do."

"Maybe next time Benny will want to come too," said Julio sombrely. It was really hard on him to not have his brother sharing in this experience with him. It made him feel guilty.

"I hope so, baby," Gloria said. She cleared her throat. "So, you're there until Tuesday?" she asked them.

"Yes," said Red, "and guess what happens on Tuesday?" Her voiced deepened threateningly.

"What?" asked Gloria.

"Dmitri's _mistress_ ," Red growled, "she's coming to spend the rest of the week here with my sons and grandchildren. We're on shared time."

"You know that you can't technically call her 'the mistress' at this point because you and Dmitri got divorced, right?" was all Gloria said about that.

"What am I supposed to call her then?" Red spat.

"How about her name?" suggested Julio pleasantly.

"Too familiar," Red told him bitterly.

"You're being difficult," Julio informed Red, and Gloria burst into laughter on her end. She loved it. Julio was completely right, and she was amazed to hear how comfortable the two of them appeared together. Gloria's heart felt like it was going to explode out of her chest because of how happy them together was making her feel. Her joy was only slightly marred by Benny's difficulty. Gloria had called Lourdes at noon that day to check in on him and Lourdes had not spared her any of the details. Gloria was just grateful that Julio and Red had not allowed him to spoil their trip.

The three of them spoke for a few more minutes, which mainly consisted of Julio rehashing everything he planned to do while he was there. Gloria was glad that he couldn't see the tears in her eyes as he spoke. They were tears of joy, but they would have annoyed him anyways. Gloria was just so touched by how alive and well her son was sounding to her. His enthusiasm was reminding Gloria of the way he used to be as a little boy. Red was changing his life, and Julio was obviously responding to her well. Gloria had never felt more in love with Red than she did at this moment. Julio's attitude was reaffirming to Gloria that she had made the right choice. For the first time in her life, Gloria had fallen in love using her head, as well as her heart. She had done good.

"I guess I need to go now," Gloria said reluctantly, "don't feel bad though if you're busy when I call tomorrow. We can catch back up when you get home, alright?" She didn't want them to waste time waiting by the phone for when she would be able to call, she just wanted them to have fun.

"I love you, mom," Julio said quietly, pushing with his elbows to straighten up from his reclined position.

"I love you too," said Gloria, "I love both of you."

"I love you, too," Red said very softly, nervous to be uttering those words in front of Julio. Gloria had said them first, though, Julio had looked down at his lap at the exchanges, and a flush had emerged on his face. He didn't seem upset though, just a little embarrassed.

"Next time I'll be there with you," Gloria promised them, "and Benny too. I'll drag him there, even if I have to kick his ass all the way from New York. And knowing him, I'll probably have to," she scoffed, "I'll talk to you later."

"Bye, mom," said Julio, ending the call. He tucked his phone into the pocket of his shorts.

"Let's go get some of the apple crumble, hmm?" Red suggested, standing up. Julio looked up from his lap and stood.

"They better have saved me some," Julio said, following her, "knowing your sons, they probably inhaled it already."

"I'd kill them," Red said seriously, holding the door open for him to go out first. The evening passed lazily and contently. Everybody was tired from the travel and their afternoon on the lake. Red read her book, Julio played cards with Yuri, Feliks, and Ivanna, Maxim and Luca went for a walk, and Lida and Vasily watched a movie once their kids were asleep. Everybody went to bed early. Red and Vasily's family had taken the two private rooms and the others all bunked in the larger room together.

Red woke up in the middle of the night with a dry throat that she blamed on allergies. Muttering to herself, she got out of bed with the intention of making herself a cup of tea to soothe it. She walked down the hall to the kitchen in bare feet and did not turn any lights on because she did not want to disturb the others. With bleary eyes she set the kettle, and then walked over to the large picture window and looked up at the starry night.

"Galina?" Red jumped and gripped the front of her navy blue nightshirt.

"Jesus," she gasped, panting as she pressed her hand to her heart, "you almost gave me a heart attack!" She spun around to look at Julio, who was curled up on the couch with his blanket wrapped around his shoulders." "Julio?" she breathed, her heart rate beginning to turn to normal, "what are you doing up?"

"I couldn't sleep," he told her, "so I came out here so that I wouldn't disturb anybody." He brought his knees up to his chest and rested his chin on them, "sorry I scared you."

"You just startled me," Red said gently, the kettle hissing in the background. "Do you want some tea?"

"Okay," Julio nodded.

"Do you want some milk in it?" Red asked him, and Julio nodded. She walked over to the stove to turn the burner off, and then she located two cups and two t-bags in the cabinet nearest the fridge. Red wondered how long Julio had been sitting out here by himself, and whether or not he was homesick. She intended to keep him company until Julio decided to go back to bed.

"I must be allergic to trees or something," Red told him, as she passed him his cup and she sat down on the couch beside him. The lights were still off, the only thing illuminating the room was the moonlight that shone through the window and spread across the floor.

"It's probably pollen," Julio told her, setting his cup carefully on the coffee table so that he could wait for it to cool.

"My throat is scratchy in any case," Red complained, rubbing her hand down the front of her neck. "Anyways," she took another sip of tea and then looked over at Julio expectantly, "will you tell me what's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothings wrong," said Julio defiantly.

"Then why can't you sleep?" Red asked him, "you should be exhausted." She covered her mouth with her hand to conceal a large yawn of her own.

"Yuri snores," Julio told her, grinning wryly. It wasn't a lie. Yuri snoring sounded like a bag of marbles being bounced around in a dryer. That wasn't why he couldn't sleep though. Julio had just put his headphones on and drowned out the sound with some music, when he had gone to bed before.

"Do you miss your brother?" Red asked directly, "you're not used to being away from him very often." She leaned her head against her folded arm, and rested her tea on her thigh.

Julio shrugged, "Not really," he said, but Red gave him a knowing look. It was obvious that he missed Benny, and Red was not going to let him deny that. "Alright," Julio relented, "I miss the way he used to be but he isn't that person anymore."

Red lifted her arm to her face just in time to block a sneeze. "F**king allergies," she grumbled, scratching the top of her nose. Julio got up and brought her the box of Kleenex on the mantle. "Thank you," Red said to him hoarsely, pulling out a tissue and blowing her nose loudly into it. "I think that person is still buried inside of him," Red said once she had gotten herself together, "he's just dealing with a lot right now."

"So am I," said Julio defiantly, sitting back down and rearranging his blanket around himself.

"I know that," said Red, "but people deal with things in different ways. I think Benny acts out in anger and is purposefully difficult and you maybe tend to suppress your sadness and act very agreeably; to compensate, I guess, for your brother's aggressiveness."

"Maybe," Julio said unconvincingly, squeezing the fabric of his blanket tightly.

"You aren't responsible for your brother though," Red told him, "you can only control yourself."

"I know," said Julio. He picked up his cup of tea from the coffee table and took a long sip. It tasted like raspberries, which happened to be his favourite flavour. Red had chosen that one on a whim, she hadn't asked what kind he would like.

"I'm really happy you came," Red said. "I'm happy I am getting this chance to get to know you."

"I guess it's nice to get to know you too," Julio said squeezing his legs into his core again. "You're different than I thought you would be."

"What did you think I would be like?" Red asked him curiously, placing her empty cup on the coffee table.

"I don't know," Julio mumbled, bringing his cup to his lips again for another sip

"Tell me," Red coaxed him, getting up to throw her used tissues in the wastebasket. "I'm waiting," she said, returning to the couch, this time putting her legs up and loosely crossing them. She faced Julio directly, sitting sideways on the couch, with her back against the arm.

"I thought you'd be meaner," Julio admitted, blushing to his roots. "I'd seen you in the visitation room when you were still in prison and I'd ride up with your sons to visit mom. I always thought you looked pretty intimidating and I was surprised that my mom was friends with you."

Red laughed lightly "but you don't think that anymore?" she asked him.

"Not really," Julio said, "you just seem like a normal mom." He twisted his body so that he was sitting sideways on the couch, and now both he and Red were directly facing one another, completely engaged in their conversation.

"I think people change when put in a challenging situation, like prison." She ran her fingers through her hair and looked pensive, "We do what we have to do to survive. I think I'm more myself now than I ever was."

"That's good," Julio smiled.

"That being said, I guess we're all mean sometimes," said Red. "I can be. And as a mother you constantly wonder whether you're being too harsh or too lenient. Being a mom is a difficult job."

"My mom always was pretty mean," Julio said honestly, staring down at the cup he was clutching in both hands, "she was always angry and yelling at us, overreacting about the smallest things."

"That was mostly because she was stressed," Red said, "and tired. Your mother and I have talked a lot, and I know that she has a lot of regrets about how things were when you boys were little."

"Like what?" asked Julio, glancing up from his tea.

"Well," Red sighed, outlining her lips with her index fingertip as she thought, "she has often said that she regrets the people that she dated back then. They weren't always the nicest of people and she feels bad that she exposed you to them."

"What else?" Julio asked her, crossing his legs and leaning slightly towards her.

"She also feels terrible about losing her temper so often," Red told him, crossing her hands together in her folded lap, "it's not easy being a single mother and she was often overwhelmed and would lash out. It's not an excuse, but it's an explanation."

"Mom really said that?" Julio whispered.

"Yes," Red said firmly, "she did say that. Julio, I think that things are going to be very different when your mother gets to come home. She wants, more than anything else, to be a good mother to you."

"That's good," said Julio, reaching a hand back to scratch at his spine.

"Things are going to be okay," Red promised him, rubbing her hands together from their place on her lap. "I know things are difficult right now. I know you miss her, and I know that you're all suffering because of that. But things will get better."

"I hope so," Julio said quietly. Red sneezed.

"I have some allergy medication in my bag," Julio said, standing up, "Tia Lourdes bought it for me just in case." He tiptoed towards the bedrooms, leaving Red waiting on the couch. He was gone for a mere moment, "got it," he whispered to her, walking over to the kitchen. Then he returned to the couch, brandishing a single pill and a glass of water. "Here," he said, handing them to Red.

"You're an angel," Red told him, after she swallowed the pill he had given her.

"Maybe you'll be able to sleep now," Julio said, sitting back down on the couch, a little closer to Red than he had been before.

"Do you think you will be able to?" Red asked him.

"I'll try," said Julio, "can I sleep out here though? It's hard to sleep in a room with that many people."

"Then don't ever go to prison," Red stated, taking another sip of water and clearing her throat. "Listen," she said, placing the glass beside her empty tea cup on the coffee table, "I know that the last thing you probably needed was another new person coming into the picture. But since I am here, I hope that you will come to understand that I am just another person who is here to support you and who wants nothing but the best for you." She cleared her throat again, "and you have to admit that our families blend together pretty nicely."

"I know that," Julio said softly, "sometimes I even feel a little glad that you're around."

"Really?" Red asked him in amazement, rubbing her hand over her scratchy throat.

Julio nodded. "I have to go visit some college campuses in the fall to decide where I want to go," he said hesitantly, "do you think that you could go with me? If you're not too busy, I mean. Most kids bring a parent, but I can't bring mom, obviously, and Tia Lourdes is always so busy that I don't want to bother her."

"Of course, I'll go," said Red, holding her hand over her throat, "I am so glad that you asked."

"I am too," Julio admitted shyly. He snuck a glance at Red's face and could see how much his invitation meant to her. She really wanted to be there for him. Julio felt wanted.

 **Thank you for Reading! Please leave a review and stay tuned for Part 2.**


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